Thief!

- An 'Aladdin' Parody -

By: OtakuSailorV

Third Article: Reunited

Renkotsu was quite pleased with himself; his entrance into the royal city had been a bit unnerving though. He had released the genie before entering the city, ordering it to announce his entrance to all around as loudly as possible. The genie had grudgingly done so, counting it as part of Renkotsu's original wish to be a prince, and all prince's were quite flamboyant when it came to announcing their presence. Jakotsu, however, was not about to do such a thing without receiving some form of payment in return and so he created the grandest procession into the city ever, conjuring up an entire musical number for his "prince."

Jakotsu howled with laughter as the enchanted elephant that Renkotsu rode on began to trumpet a herald and dance in time with the rest of the cast, and quite skillfully for a beast of that size, he had to admit. Those around him danced as well and sang out in perfect chorus. Jakotsu was quite pleased with the choreography; he hadn't thought that the show would be pulled off so well on such short notice. He'd have to remind Renkotsu to tip the entire cast for such a wonderful performance later on. Unable to withhold himself, Jakotsu joined in on the song, leading the entire procession toward the gates of the palace.

The crowd around them cheered wildly, waving at the prince that paid them no attention and following the entire parade as far as they could. It seemed as if the entire city had turned out to see what all of the ruckus was; people hung out windows, stood on rooftops and climbed on top of one another to better see the gaudy display of royalty that marched past them.

The gates to the palace were shut tight when they arrived, but the parade of wild beasts, acrobats, jugglers, tumblers, horsemen, men-at-arms and the genie were not at all dismayed. The gates burst open as if a giant hand had blown them apart, the hinges broke with the force and the locks and bolts of the mighty door flew away, torn as easily as paper. The procession marched on as if nothing had happened, the palace guards gawked openly at the intruders, lacking the will to move to try and contain the parade. If the mighty doors that had withstood a frontal attack by a sandworm were no use against these intruders, then what use would they, the palace guards, be? They'd be shredded by their own weapons before they'd lay a hand on even one of those that now streamed through the gap where the gates had been.

The princess, hearing the noise and bombarded by fleeing men-at-arms and guardsmen that seemed about to cry, came to the front of the palace in a rampaging flurry. Her eyes were narrowed with death and her pet, the horned snake, hissed and struck at any who dared some within five feet of its mistress. Her silver hair swirled behind her, framing her features so that she looked even more frightening as she approached.

Horrified servants and guards were stuck in the middle, knowing neither whether they should run toward their princess or away from her. At last they seemed to think it best to surge around her flanks on either side, making sure to stay five or six feet away from her pet. So it was that the only one to greet the finale of the parade's musical number was the princess Tsubaki, which displeased Jakotsu greatly.

Renkotsu smirked at her ruefully, though still ruffled by the unwanted song and dance bit. Still, he had to admit now that it had put quite the impression on that haughty little princess for she was scowling darkly, angry as all hell.

There was a long silence in which no one moved, and then…

"I knew you were gay," Tsubaki grumbled, looking over the entire procession before her with a critical eye. Then, more loudly, "What do you want?"

Renkotsu, his smirk a little lop-sided after her blow to his pride, remained even-tempered nonetheless. "I like this palace," Renkotsu looked at the huge palace before him, "I think I'll take it."

Tsubaki seethed, her eyes narrowing impossibly further. "What," she hissed so faintly that Renkotsu wouldn't have known she had spoken at all if he hadn't been watching her so intently.

He pointed a scimitar at her that had been placed by his side until that time; the point nearly touched the tip of her nose. Instinctively she drew back from it and glared at him. Her pet hissed loudly and its scales rattled as it tightened its coils protectively. The beast's red eyes glowed venomously as it tasted the air with its forked tongue.

"I suggest you surrender immediately, princess, if you value that pretty head of yours."


Jakotsu leaned on a bed of pillows that had been especially prepared for him, his chin in one hand, elbow resting comfortably on the pillows. Despite the luxury now given him, he was pouting. He hated that Renkotsu was still keeping him around now that he had his revenge. Jakotsu could hardly stand to be in the room any longer with all those horribly filthy women loitering about, giggling and gossiping and fanning the esteemed 'prince.' They wouldn't leave him alone either, despite his cold attitude toward them and repeatedly informing them that he couldn't indulge in human food and drink nor did he wish to with them. He would much rather be trapped inside of that lamp for the rest of eternity than have to remain here like this!

"Renkotsu," he drawled grumpily, shooing away two more whispering gossipers that crowded near him seductively. They huffed in disappointment and glided away.

"Renkotsu-sama," the new 'sultan' corrected lazily.

Jakotsu paused, glaring. "Renkotsu, when are you going to make your last wish? You've had your petty revenge, now make a wish and let me go."

There was another pause; Renkotsu was purposely delaying his reply to tick off the pink-clad genie.

"Guard, bring in Princess Tsubaki, I wish to see her," he finally said, ignoring Jakotsu completely.

Jakotsu seethed, shaking with anger and with a puff of glittery pink smoke, disappeared inside the lamp which glowed red-hot as Jakotsu spit with anger and hatred. The women of the court looked displeased as well, huffing and whispering jealously back and forth at the mention of the princess' name. None of them wanted the woman there for many reasons, most of it being that they did not wish to share the sultan with the princess.

Tsubaki stormed in far ahead of her stumbling guard, her pet clinging to her body and shoulders and watching Renkotsu with a dangerous steadiness. Anyone else would have paled and pulled away from the approaching pair, but Renkotsu merely smirked, knowing that he held the power now and not the princess.

"What do you want, Renkotsu?" she sniffed, jerking her chin up so that she looked down on him.

"I think I'd like to make my last wish now," Jakotsu peeked out from under the lid of his lamp at those words. "Jakotsu…"

The genie popped out in a plume of pink smoke that glittered brilliantly. He smiled benignly at the sultan seated on the cushions and surrounded by scantily clad and veiled women. He clasped his hands formally and bowed to Renkotsu, though it made him want to wretch in the process. However, he was too happy to hear that Renkotsu was finally going to release him from his service to care much. "You called?"

"Princess Tsubaki would you like to be a sultana?" Renkotsu smirked, teasing the princess was one of his favorite things to do these days. Of course she wanted to be a sultana, it was her right to have control of his palace, but she did not want a man and especially not him. How ironic that she was now taking orders from a former underling. And one that had tricked both she and her father and avoided the executioner's axe as well! He nearly laughed outright at her, so great was his mirth at such an ironic turn of events.

Her lips were flat, paling as she frowned, the skin under one eye twitching. She looked the flamboyant genie over with a disdainful eye, seeing for the first time the reason why she had fallen so suddenly from grace. She sneered at Jakotsu who returned the look gladly. The princess' albino snake sat up on her shoulders and bobbed its head at Jakotsu, though it seemed displeased as well.

"So you had to call upon the genie of the lamp for assistance," she sneered when she finally tore her eyes from Jakotsu. "Not smart enough to devise another way to cheat your way to the top?"

"If I could just wish for something to be, why bother wasting years of my life trying to achieve it otherwise, even if it would prove to the world my cunning?" Renkotsu sipped at a cup of wine that was presented to him.

Jakotsu and Tsubaki rolled their eyes in unison, noticed the perfectly timed coincidence and exchanged withering glares before turning on Renkotsu again.

"Renkotsu, your wish," Jakotsu pressed earnestly, ready to get back in his lamp and leave this filthy man behind forever. He was sure he was starting to develop a rash where that filthy chamber wench had stroked his arm in greeting before.

"Ah, right, I wish that the genie of the lamp was free and that he retained his phenomenal cosmic powers," Renkotsu waved a hand dismissively.

Jakotsu paused, a wicked grin spread across his features. He exchanged a look with Tsubaki, for she too had heard the ancient warning about a genie's wishes. She laughed loudly right in Renkotsu's face. He started, staring at her and then at Jakotsu in a quizzical panic.

"Three wishes I'll grant you, three wishes be small," Jakotsu chanted teasingly, his pink smoke turning a lurid purple-red. "But if you wish a fourth wish, then you loose them all!"

Renkotsu jumped up in rage and advanced on the genie and princess with a scowl. "What? I don't remember making a fourth wish!"

"I wish that the genie of the lamp was free and that he retained his phenomenal cosmic powers," Jakotsu quoted and burst into renewed laughter at the stricken look that crossed Renkotsu's features.

The man opened his mouth to demand a proper explanation, but already the smoke had engulfed him and the shrieking laughter of the princess echoed in his ears as the ground dropped out from under him.


The doors were heavy, but Renkotsu was no ordinary man and easily shoved them aside.

Inside was not one, not two, not even three or four, but five mountains of golden coins cascading down into smaller hills. Jewels sparkled in the sides of the golden mountains, winking at him seductively. Giant rubies, huge emeralds, sapphires the size of his fist. Pearl earrings and necklaces; diamond rings and golden bracelets. Swords made of gold and silver with intricate designs inlaid with jewels of profound worth. He couldn't believe it. Of all the wealth in the world, this had to be the greatest. And yet the town outside was like any other hick town he had passed through. This was amazing!

The most intriguing thing, though, was the solitary marble pedestal with a dull golden lamp. Well, it was supposed to be gold, but the years had worn away most of it's color so that it appeared bronze instead.

Quirking an eyebrow, he figured he had a moment to investigate and headed over to it. Picking it up, he looked it over, but it looked ordinary, dull, and meaningless. It was a scrap of junk among the rest of this treasure heap. But surely they would not keep a thing of so little merit in the treasure vault if they thought it was nothing. . .

Looking a bit more closely, he found that his finger was over a thin inscription that was neatly placed on the side of the lamp. Unfortunately, he couldn't read it with all the dirt on the lamp…

He paused, a keen sense of déjà vu coming over him. He shrugged it off, hastily wiping his fingers over the inscription so as to better read it…

THE END(?)


Wow, after so long, my writer's block finally cleared up for this fic. I'm so sorry to Skittlez-chan, for whom I wrote this fiction and who really deserves much more praise for her ability to put together such pairings. Haha, I'd have to say that I wouldn't be into half the pairings in Inuyasha that I write for if it wasn't for her. I'd also like to apologize to those of you who probably were wondering when I was planning to finish this, if I planned to at all.

I hope this ending is satisfactory enough! I couldn't see Renkotsu and Tsubaki having a "happy" ending, and I found the idea of him repeating the past very humorous. I always thought that the genie in Aladdin should have presented some punishment for infringing on one of his rules, even though there wasn't a 'fourth wish' rule originally. Er, well, not in the Disney film at least. I should probably read the original story before I say stupid stuff like that.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for reading and for putting up with me and I hope you enjoyed it! Have a great summer! Ja'ne!

OtakuSailorV