Disclaimer: Hail Kubo Tite-sama!

AN: This fic is totally and completely random.

Strawberry, Death and Phone

By: Lafine

Ichigo was NOT a pervert.

He was not like his crazy father who giggled while reading his porn books and shoved them to his twelve years old son so he was free from the bird and the bee talk. He was not Mizuiro who used his cuter-than-average face to get into older women's pants. And he was definitely not Keigo who chase after every girl's skirt like a rabid dog.

Sure, he found some girls pleasing to his eyes but he was definitely not a pervert.

Now that he finished clarified that fact, let's move to the next subject.

Kuchiki Rukia.

What's wrong with her, you might ask? Aside from she's a shinigami with rabbit-obsession and she couldn't draw to save her life, nothing was wrong with her. His other classmates, especially Keigo, said that she was cute and polite.

Ichigo just snorted whenever he heard that.

After all, Rukia was not cute. She was stubborn, quick to anger and packed a mean punch with her small pale fist.

His jaw was still sore after the unfortunate meeting with said fist.

He didn't deserve that punch!

He was kind enough to tell her to store her phone/radar thing somewhere else so when she pulled it out, the action wouldn't cause the male population in his class into a severe nose-bleeding fit. He also chose a good time to say that advice. He said it casually, fighting down the blush threatening to show on his face, when they were alone in his room, Kon snoring under his bed.

Let him emphasized it again, he was NOT a pervert so don't misunderstand his poorly worded advice like the petite shinigami did.

"Hey, Rukia. Don't store your phone in your bra." He had said.

And Rukia answered with a straight punch.

He meant well! It's not his fault she took it wrong. He meant for her to use her uniform's pockets, not whatever she thought he thought her to use.

Grumble, grumble. Stupid woman. He wouldn't care anymore if other leers at her again.

…. Fine, maybe he would punch them once or twice. But he's not going to say that particular advice to Rukia ever again.


AN: Told you it was completely random.