Hey there everyone. Man, I'd forgotten how much fun this was. Writing and getting lost in my own little world. Anyway, I'd been wanting to get this story uploaded for the longest time. But I think life had burnt me out so I HAD to take a break.

An unintentional six month break.

But anyway, here it is, the next chapter of "I Hate Babysitting". I still hope you all enjoy it.


I Hate Babysitting
Chapter 4
I Hate Kids

Sesshomaru hurried down the stairs to the kitchen. His eyes searched for anything out of place, something in which to convict the two little felons. His eyes continued, and locked onto an empty space on the counter. They slowly made their way to the toddlers, who teardropped anxiously, trying to maintain their innocent faces.

"Inuyasha and Kagome…..where's the microwave?" Sesshomaru inquired, wondering why they bothered staying silent.

The toddlers already knew he would be FAR from pleased. Inuyasha opened his mouth to tell when his brother sniffed the air and smelled a faint trace of smoke. Tentatively, Sesshomaru's head turned to the back shoji door leading to the backyard, where the smoke was emanating.

"If the gods have a hint of compassion…." He prayed as he braced himself and slid the door open.

The yard was blanketed with snow, adding a beautiful and serene effect to the Zen decorations. To the left of the little castle….was the microwave, smoldering in tiny flames in a singed circle around it. Sesshomaru remained still, with a calm half-lidded stare as he slowly shut the door.

Snap! CraaaaaaaaackleBOOM!

He opened the door again.

The microwave was now scattered about the yard in numerous burnt pieces. Inuyasha pouted quietly, he wanted to see the explosion. Sesshomaru could only stare incredulously at the situation. He SINCERELY wanted to ask just how in the hell the appliance got outside.

Sesshomaru figured it was best to paraphrase his inquiry.

"Inuyasha….and Kagome….," The taiyoukai turned to them, praying for at the VERY least a 25 percent logical answer, "What happened to the microwave?"

"….It got mad at the snow?" Inuyasha tried.

Sesshomaru teardropped. That answer wasn't even near 15 percent.

"I repeat," He tried again, "Inuyasha and Kagome….how in the h-e- double 'shi' characters did the microwave get outside?"

"Anou…" Inuyasha spoke up. "When Sesshounii was sleeping, Kagome said she was hungry. I was too, an' we deci'd to make some pot pies."

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "….Beef and/or chicken?"

Sesshomaru caught himself at the last minute and smacked his head when he saw the question mark over his little brother's head. The "and/or" confused him to no end. He rephrased the question.

"Did you find the pies in a blue container in the deep freezer with 'Touch this and die, Inuyasha'?"

"No Sesshounii." The hanyou responded.

"If you didn't, where did you obtain the pies? That's the only place they were."

"It was a blue box with 'Inuyasha' on…Sesshounii? Your eyebrow's dancing again."

Sesshomaru bared his gnashed teeth in slight exasperation. He couldn't understand why Inuyasha wasn't born with any sense as to make a connection with the description he gave.

"Inuyasha, why did you take something that wasn't yours?"

"But it said 'Inuyasha' on it, Sesshounii, and that's my name. So I thought it was mine." The hanyou answered.

"Simply because your name in general is on it doesn't make it yours. Also, there was other writing on my container, why didn't you read that in addition to your name?"

The toddler stared silently at his elder brother.

"I'm only 2 years old, Sesshounii. I can't even read a 'Stop' sign."

Sesshomaru couldn't help but gawk at that, as it made perfect sense. It got him that he'd forgotten Inuyasha couldn't read anything aside from his name, but getting served by the said 2 year old left him stupefied. Realizing he'd gotten off topic, the taiyoukai drew his brother back to the situation at hand.

"But didn't you wanna know which flavor we got, Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked.

"It doesn't matter. It didn't matter in the first place. HOW did the microwave get in the backyard?" Sesshomaru tried to keep himself from sounding strained.

Inuyasha continued, "Kagome an' I put the pies in and we watched them cook."

"And it was pretty!" Kagome mused, "The mickerwaif lighted up and the mickerwaif pixies came out and danced around the pies!"

That made Sesshomaru raise an eyebrow.

" 'Microwave pixies', Kagome?" He asked against his better judgment.

Inuyasha stepped in to correct her, "Kagome thought they were pixies, but boys know better. It was only the sparks from the aluminimum."

The hanyou stood confidently while Kagome AND Sesshomaru stared at him in disbelief.

"Woman: 1, men: 0" Sesshomaru muttered.

Before he was asked what that meant, Sesshomaru bid Inuyasha to continue the explanation when Kagome spoke up.

"We were looking at the pies in the mickerwaif, but the mickerwaif looked like it was getting hot and we didn't want the countertop to get burned." Kagome smiled as Sesshomaru looked at her expectantly.

"That doesn't explain how it got outside, Kagome."

The toddlers were silent, then again presented their babysitting with big innocent smiles. Sesshomaru wondered why they didn't just wear signs that said "convicted felons".

Kagome went on, "We didn't want the countertop to burn, so I had Inuyasha take it in the backyard. But the plug wasn't long enough so I looked for an exestutention cord to make it longer. We put it in the snow to cool down so it wouldn't burn up."

The toddlers stared once again in confusion at their babysitter's expression. His eyes were widened, his mouth couldn't decide whether it wanted to smile, frown or scowl and he was uttering strange incoherent syllables.

"Do you know what snow becomes when it's heated?" Sesshomaru inquired, thinking they at LEAST knew this one.

"….SPRING!" Kagome brightly answered, thinking it was some kind of riddle.

Sesshomaru's eyes rolled up in frustration as he made a gesture of shooting himself in the head.

"Thank you, Miss Honda." His sarcastic reply. "For your education, and my assurance of having one good nerve left, snow melts and becomes water. Water conducts electricity. Thus, water or snow will cause the microwave to explode."

Kagome looked up silently while Inuyasha scratched at his ears, soaking in this new information.

"So," Inuyasha started, "Snow is another piece of water, Sesshounii?"

"Yes." Sesshomaru almost smirked in elation at the question.

"And it's a conduct-or of electricity?"

"Yes." Sesshomaru was beaming with happiness.

"…See if I get this right… water will make electricity things blow up? Like the micowaive?" Inuyasha checked, seeing his brother seemed pleased with the questions.

"Yes, Inuyasha. That's correct." He has some sense after all. Have the gods finally found favor with me?

Inuyasha looked up at the ceiling, as if trying to make sense of what he was told. Sesshomaru was patient during the five-minute wait; he was happy his simple sibling showed a hint of intelligence. Inuyasha's eyes widened with enlightenment.

"I know what Sesshounii mean! He mean don't put micowaive in the snow or water!" He proudly submitted.

"Yes! Yes! You are correct!" Sesshomaru exclaimed, throwing his fists in the air as if praising the gods for their mercy.

Kagome laughed at the taiyoukai's gesture. "Yay! Now we know what to do next time the mickerwave gets too hot!"

Sesshomaru was nearly teary-eyed as a beam of light from the heavens shone on him. "At last, the gods no longer hate me!"

"Yeah, Kagome! Next time, we'll throw WHIPPED CREAM on the micowaive! Whipped cream doesn't construct electriccities and it won't make it blow up!"

The light shut off and Sesshomaru fell over backwards, crashing onto the floor.

"Sesshounii alright?" Inuyasha asked, gently tugging on Sesshomaru's hair.

The gods no longer hate me…

They despise me…

Sesshomaru stayed on the floor, glaring up and waiting for the pain in his head to subside. The toddlers sat beside him.

"You think the gods hit him, Kagome? They conduct electriccity. They probably have an orchestra."

Sesshomaru wondered why if Inuyasha and Kagome were concerned about the microwave's heat, they didn't just turn the power down. If the question left his lips, he'd be an official idiot. So he put it under Unsolved Mysteries.

He lifted his arm and pointed a shaking finger to the living room, restraining himself from cursing. "Living room. Couch. Sit."

Again, the children thought it was a game. "My home this is." "The force. Be with. Always you. Teeheeheeee!"

"MOVE!!"

"Moving!"

Inuyasha took Kagome's hand and hurried into the living room, sitting on the couch and turning on the TV. When Sesshomaru recovered nearly an hour later, he tried to get the children to take their naps. Inuyasha complied without problem as he'd do anything his brother said, whereas Kagome argued about the terms of their game earlier. They had been told if they could bind him up, they didn't have to take their naps. Sesshomaru brought to her attention the terms applied if they could bind him up WITHOUT trying to murder him. He admitted they had met the objective, so he was shortening their nap time. He also brought to Kagome's attention that she was half-asleep with her arguing. By the time she reached her closing argument, she had passed out. Sesshomaru was about to head downstairs, but then realized he should probably take a nap as well. They were going to be fully refreshed when they woke up, and he was going to need ALL the energy he could get.

Sesshomaru woke up startled, having a nightmare of Inuyasha and Kagome mistaking his Kingdom Hearts manga for coloring books. His widened eyes darted to his shelf of collectibles and saw they were untouched. He started to check up on the rugrats when he found they'd saved him the trouble. Kagome laid atop the taiyoukai's Final Fantasy II bed cover, slowly waking up. Inuyasha sat upside down against the foot of the bed, his little feet dangling in front of his face. Slightly amused, Sesshomaru moved the hanyou's feet and found a dumbfounded look on his face.

"Should I ask?" Sesshomaru inquired of Kagome.

She wiped her sleepy eyes and answered, "Yes, I came in late."

"Why are you positioned like an acrobat, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha looked a little indignant at the question.

" 'Why?' I lay down on your chest, waitin' for you to wake up. You did like was scared I touched your Final Fancy stuff ….an' HERE we are." Inuyasha answered, dropping his outspread arms onto the bed.

Kagome giggled at Inuyasha's sarcasm while Sesshomaru stared, still partially sleep.

"Why didn't you land on your feet?" The taiyoukai further inquired after yawning.

He extracted a more indignant expression from the hanyou. "Sesshounii, do I LOOK like a cat?"

"Of course not, little brother, you look like a kitten." Sesshomaru teased, leaning over him.

Inuyasha growled cutely, giving his elder brother's hair a quick yank in retaliation.

"Says you, Sephiroth!" He teased back.

Sesshomaru smirked and flipped Inuyasha onto his bottom. He sent the toddlers into his bathroom to freshen themselves up, instructing them specifically to brush their teeth, wash their faces and be seated on his bed cover. He had to tell them because he knew they would do something catastrophic if they didn't have any objectives.

It should have been a sign that it was too much to ask of them. Inuyasha rushed into the bathroom to get there before Kagome. He succeeded, but was bumped away from the sink. The prize was getting the sparking blue Hello Kitty toothpaste. The children brushed their teeth as they were told, but not before having their fun with the foam. First, there was Kagome's impersonation of Santa Claus, then Inuyasha's of a mad dog.

Sesshomaru could only watch them, not surprised. Seeing as used saliva-ridden toothpaste didn't bother them, he only imagine what they would do with soap and water. As entertaining as that would be, Sesshomaru couldn't have them blinding themselves with soap and running around hollering like idiots. Last time they did that, he was Surfin' U.S.A. down the stairs. He instructed them to use only water, fully aware the bathroom would be transformed into Sea World within seconds. Before he could witness the event, the doorbell sounded. Sesshomaru walked out of his room when he halted, remembering he forgot something and went to get Inuyasha and Kagome. The toddlers hadn't been washing up for three seconds but were already soaking wet. Sesshomaru had went in to get them when he took a heavy splash to the face from Inuyasha playing with the faucet's water pressure. He sat Inuyasha and Kagome on the couch, telling them to stay. He went to the door, grumpily wondering who it was.

Sesshomaru concealed his frown at who he saw.

A bearded man gave a jolly smile as he bowed in greeting. The taiyoukai did likewise out of good manners; he recognized the man and prayed against hope this didn't mean what he thought it did.

"How are you, Taijiya-san?" Sesshomaru greeted.

"Oh I couldn't ask for better weather! Lots of snow and more to come! But I won't keep you, Sesshomaru, I do apologize, but I'm in quite a hurry."

"Oh it's too bad you can't stay, sir. Well, enjoy your trip to …wherever, g'bye, now!"

Sesshomaru hurried to reach for the door when Taijiya picked up his daughter, Sango. He beamed a proud and imposing smile. Noticing the twitch on his host's blank face, Taijiya assumed he wasn't informed and stated that Inutaisho owed him a favor. He then tried to bargain with the taiyoukai.

"If you watch my little Sango for me, then things will be even between your father and I, and I'll owe you a favor, Sesshomaru. Anything at all, just name it."

Sesshomaru started to decline, but then remembered his previous times with Sango. She was asleep most of the time and when she was awake, Sango played quietly by herself and with Kagome. She would give him no trouble at all. Plus, Sesshomaru would get a favor owed to him out of this deal.

Gods know he needed it.

The taiyoukai sent Sango's father on his way, and took her inside. After shutting the door, he turned around to find Sango against the wall, holding out her coat and staring intensely at the coat rack. Sesshomaru stared curiously when Sango spun around and released her coat. She looked onto the coat rack…and was surprised when didn't see her coat on it. Confused, Sango looked around, looking up, she found it…

Draped over Sesshomaru's face.

The three year old giggled in amusement as she asked him to bend down so she could get her coat. Insisting on hanging it up herself, Sango went up to the rack and tried to reach for one of the hangers but couldn't quite make it. Frustrated, she looked up at it in thought. Sesshomaru took a step to hang up the coat when Sango bent down, and jumped onto the hanger.

Unaware that she was the heavier one.

The coat rack wobbled and fell over, smacked Sesshomaru square on his crown, and fell onto the floor. Sango stared wide-eyed, her hands covering her mouth. She bowed in apology, then looked at the fallen coat rack. She hung up her coat and walked quietly into the living room. Sesshomaru snarled under his breath as he rubbed his head, checking for any blood. In his mind, a river of obscenities streamed, but he DARED not let one exit his mouth. He was still in range of the kids. Sesshomaru looked down and saw the coat hung neatly on the fallen rack.

"Why didn't Kagome think of that?" He griped sarcastically. "Ugh….I'm stuck in this house with three rugrats. It couldn't get any worse that this."

No sooner than TWO seconds after those words left Sesshomaru's mouth, the doorbell sounded again.

To the rhythm of "Get Wild". (City Hunter, 80s anime)

Sesshomaru froze, his eyes fixed on the closed door, knowing EXACTLY who it was. He started praying against it, but already knew the gods would only laugh in his face and say "You're on your own". He frowned at that, standing with his forehead leaning regretfully on the door. Just then a rhythm of knocks pounded into his brain, this time to RunDMC's "Walk This Way"

Walk Away, why don't you? (sigh) Something else I can't live with… Sesshomaru gave in and opened the door, forcing his eyes down to his visitor.

"Yo yo yo! Grandmastah SESSHOU!"

The taiyoukai stared at a boy, five years old, dressed like RunDMC with a huge amused smile on his face, his hands posed in the air waiting for Sesshomaru.

"Holla at 'cha, boy! Whassup, dawg?"

SLAM!

Sesshomaru stood before the closed door, cursing the gods.

That Buddhist Shin-chan…MIROKU…

"C'mon Sesshomaru! You gonna leave a brotha hangin'?"

The taiyoukai teardropped and rolled up his eyes as Miroku shouted from outside begging to be let in.

"C'mon, man! I – i-is- is it the bling? Is it too much bling? I'll drop the bling, Sesshou! I'll drop the bling, I'll drop the thing, I'll drop the CHING-CHING! JUST COME BACK TO ME, BABY!!" Miroku shouted overdramatically like Little Richard, while falling onto this knees and pulling back his leather coat pleading, and trying not to laugh at his performance.

It was just about all Sesshomaru could stand. Yamakawa Miroku, Japan's answer to Dennis the Menace. The ONLY reason Sesshomaru would deal with the child was because of Inuyasha. The toddler hanyou was the miniature cyclone's best friend. The cease of shouting caught his attention and tempted him to open the door again. Miroku stood without the sunglasses and the bling, trying to look properly presentable.

"Sorry about that, Sesshomaru, me and my father just got back from the International Hip-Hop convention in Niigana." Miroku stated with a smaller grin.

The boy received a stoic stare. Each year Miroku and his father went to SOME kind of convention and it would take them a while to get out of character. Sesshomaru wished his parent would take him to a Horror convention. That would scare some sense into the boy.

Sesshomaru reconsidered.

"If that boy wakes me up with a hockey mask, a burnt man in my dreams, or virus spreading zombies, his father'll never find his body."

"You still talk to yourself, Sesshomaru? People will start thinking you've lost it." Miroku joked.

Sesshomaru glanced down at him. "If you're referring to my sanity, you're two years too late. Now where's your father?"

Just then, a lightsaber pointed in Sesshomaru's face. VERY hesitant to look, his amber eyes followed the weapon to its holder.

Miroku's father…donning a Darth Vader costume, with a black Mohawk and ten pounds of gold chains around his neck, holding his lightsaber with a gangsta pose.

"Surrender to the Dark Side, my brother. You have been served, yo. I pity th' fool who don't recognize."

The taiyoukai's half-lidded eyes focused on the glowing weapon. I wonder if this thing would be enough to kill me.

"Mr. Vader" stood silently, still holding his lightsaber to Sesshomaru's neck. Seeing as he was far from amused, the man lifted his mask.

"Yamakawa-san, why am I surprised?" Sesshomaru sassed flatly.

All he received in response was a good-humored laugh while getting a playful punch to the arm. Miroku snickered at Sesshomaru's fake smile.

Inuyasha must've warmed him up for me. The boy thought.

"Well, I suppose you've already guessed why we're here, Sesshomaru?"

Figuring there was no hope for him, Sesshomaru just gave up and dropped the formalities. "LEMME GUESS, you want me to babysit Rosemary's ba- MIROKU, for you, right? OH SURE! WHY NOT?! Dump the kid on me! I'll take him in my arms and smother him in love and caring! Dump the kid on me! I'M BEGGIN' YA!! I'd be happy to watch him for you!!"

Sesshomaru stood with a VERY strained grin with his face. Mr. Yamakawa was pleased at the answer, whereas Miroku cowered in fear. The taiyoukai was presented with a large tote bag.

"Actually, we had only stopped by to give you these souvenirs. We know how much you love Final Fantasy. I had already arranged for another babysitter for Miroku, but since you're so excited to have him, I can't disappoint you, Sesshomaru."

PLEASE, do it…CRUSH ME…!

Miroku looked up at his father a little worried. "Daddy, you're not gonna leave me with this lunatic, are you? I think he's drunk or somethin'!"

"Miroku!" His father reprimanded, "Don't be like that! Now look, I can't find anyone else who'll have you on such short notice…well, there's always her but I-"

Before the sentence was done, Miroku hugged his father and went inside the house. Apparently the "lunatic" was the greater lesser of two evils. With that, Mr. Yamakawa took his leave hurriedly. Sesshomaru stood in the open door watching the man take off on his motorcycle, waving back at his son. The crazed smile was still on his face, the edges of the mouth twitching tensely at the irony of everything. Sesshomaru swore he could hear the gods dying with laughter at his stupidity. Eventually, he came to his senses and closed the door, greeted by Miroku as he turned around.

"Aren't you going to 'holla' at'cha peeps' or something, Grandmaster Flash?" The taiyoukai's sassy monotone retort to the boy.

Miroku laughed and hugged Sesshomaru's leg, he had always loved his tone of voice; even though it only showed up when he came over. Next thing they knew, Inuyasha exclaimed happily and pounced on Miroku's back, shouting over and over his best friend was here. Kagome ran in after the hanyou and gave Miroku a hug. The boy didn't mind the assault of kindness; he loved the attention. Miroku gave Inuyasha a piggyback ride, galloping up and down the hallway, listening to the toddler laugh as they played. Sesshomaru gave a defeated sigh behind his stoic face, and made his way to the living room couch.

Sesshomaru and the kids enjoyed pizza for dinner. He had planned on cooking, thinking it would be him, Inuyasha and Kagome. Since Miroku was there, he DARED not take his eyes off him for even a moment. Last time, that was all the boy needed to short out the house and flood the basement. Later that night, after letting the rugrats run around for a while to work off the pizza and having them fall out at bedtime, Sesshomaru took a long soak in the tub. Gods knew when he'd have another moment to himself, so he seized the opportunity while he had it. The taiyoukai felt so soothed by the water and the silence, he dozed off in the tub, having a dream of his girlfriend bathing with him. He smiled in his sleep as she washed his face, but awoke to find instead it was Sango wiping the sweat from this forehead.

Sango smiled at him, "Sorry, I was trying not to wake you up, Sesshou-chan. Your face was dirty. An' pretty faces shouldn't be dirty."

Sesshomaru just stared, a bit upset that his bliss was interrupted. "Sango, why aren't you bed?"

"Miroku wouldn't leave me alone," She answered quietly, "He keeps playing with my toes, he kept saying they were pretty."

The taiyoukai sank in the water, rolling his eyes up. "Like father, like son."

Taking a closer look, the three year old saw Sesshomaru was taking a bath. She agreed to leave him alone, but not before bargaining to sleep in his room so Miroku wouldn't bother her, and if he would read her a bedtime story. Thinking that was a cheap price to pay for some "me" time, Sesshomaru agreed, telling Sango to wait on his bed til he was finished. Sesshomaru came out of his bathroom thinking perhaps she had fallen asleep, and found her sitting wide awake with three books beside her.

"I will only read you one, Sango." Sesshomaru stated.

She tried to decide which of the books to read, then went to Sesshomaru's manga collection and selected xXxHolic vol. 8. Sesshomaru stared at the selected book but currently was too sleepy to care. Sango scurried into the taiyoukai's lap so she could see the pictures while he read to her. After a while she heard his voice begin to drawl; Sango looked up and saw he was starting to nod off. She took over and read for him, winging it at whatever words were beyond her.

" 'GYAHH! SO COLD!' Watanuki-kun's running from the snowman and that's the end, Sesshou-chan. Um, Sesshou-chan?"

Sesshomaru had fallen asleep pages ago, snoring a bit loudly as the kids had drained him and his bath had taken the little energy he had left. Sango giggled quietly, tucking him in and giving him a good-night hug and kiss for reading to her.


Sesshomaru's eyes opened, and found it was morning. He sat up and found Sango sound asleep in his bean bag chair, sucking her thumb. He yawned and stared, thinking she looked cute asleep. Sesshomaru started to wake her up for breakfast, but was distracted by the sound of the TV downstairs. Just as he guessed, the children were awake and watching their morning cartoons. Well, they were listening to the TV anyway. Sesshomaru peeked around and found them in the kitchen getting breakfast on their own. Miroku was looking for his favorite cereal, finding only the empty box. He looked at Inuyasha, sitting on the floor and devouring the cereal from the bag, picking out the marshmallows. He was practically taking a bath in the milk as he had spilled it all over himself.

"Stolen me Lucky Charms, have ye, little puppy?"

Inuyasha and Kagome laughed at Miroku's imitation of the trademark leprechaun.

Kagome chimed, "Now if you only had the green suit, you'd be Lucky, Miroku."

"Nuh-uh, Kagome-chan," Miroku responded, "If I had Kumi Koda dancing in her short shorts for me, THEN I'd be lucky. Heh heh."

Sesshomaru groaned, wondering if that came from his father or was it really genetic. "She said 'BE lucky', not 'GET lucky'. Hurry up and get your cereal, Shin-chan. I want you in the living room where I can see you-"

Plish.

Sesshomaru felt his foot land in a puddle of cold liquid. Daring to look down, he found his little brother sitting in a puddle of milk and cereal. Inuyasha only giggled and waved good-morning. Groaning loudly because it meant more work, Sesshomaru lifted Inuyasha from the floor, only to find milk wasn't the only the liquid there.

Kagome snickered uncontrollably while Miroku tried to hold his in.

"He's sprung a leak, Cap'n!" Miroku couldn't resist.

Inuyasha laughed as Sesshomaru teardropped when the liquid dripped onto his foot. The hanyou was given a newspaper diaper so he wouldn't drip all over the carpet as he was carried to the bathroom. Sesshomaru spent over a hour in there: ten minutes waiting for the toddler to finish splashing water everywhere, fifteen minutes to actually wash him up, five minutes to dry Inuyasha off after he actually dried off like a puppy.

The rest of the time was spent cleaning up the bathroom.

After his bath, Inuyasha tried to escape and streak through the house. Fortunately, Sesshomaru foresaw that and wrapped him in a towel, wrapping his head in a huge turban. That virtually anchored the hanyou to the floor until Sesshomaru was finished. He dressed Inuyasha in his Rurouni Kenshin yukata, giving him a lighter towel for his turban once the cleaning was done.

Sesshomaru took a detour to his room to check on Sango, who was now sleeping on his bed. He was in limbo trying to decide whether to wake her up or not. Alone, Sango was a handful in her own right; mixed with the others, she was up there with Miroku.

Sesshomaru had also forgotten when he took too long to make a decision, Inuyasha made it for him.

"Sango! You sleep too much! Wake up!" He shouted.

The taiyoukai teardropped in irritation. The gods showed SOME compassion and just had Sango grumble and turn over. Inuyasha pouted, not partial to being ignored, and yelled louder for Sango to wake up. Crankily, she threw her tiny pillow at him, getting Inuyasha right in the face. Sesshomaru snickered, satisfied with his for-now good fortune. He looked again at Sango, thinking he had heard her groan. Inuyasha was set down on the floor, but held in place by his brother's finger atop his head.

"Sesshounii want me to wake up, Sango?" He asked innocently.

"No, I want you to go downstairs and watch television…and tell Kagome to quit talking to the refrigerator. It doesn't like her."

"Okay!" Inuyasha chirped happily and did just as he was told.

Sesshomaru shook Sango lightly on her shoulder. After the second time, she opened her eyes, looking a little sad.

"It's time to get up, Sango. I can't let you sleep all day." But gods KNOW I want to.

"I don't feel good, Sesshou-chan." Sango whined quietly.

The first thing that came to his mind was she may have a cold. Immediately, almost in a panic, Sesshomaru prayed against it. The way the kids ran around the house like they did, there'd be an outbreak. And he wasn't about to turn the living room into ICU, or General Hospital with Miroku.

"What's wrong, Sango?" Sesshomaru asked, hoping it wasn't serious.

Sango remained quiet as she looked down, saying she was checking to see what it was.

"My head hurts. Not a lot lot, but it hurts a little tiny bit." She paused again, "And the rest'a me feels heavy."

Sesshomaru was relieved. "That's what happens when you sleep too long. It may even be that you haven't had breakfast yet. Come, stand on your feet for a while and you'll feel better."

Sango nodded tiredly and got out of bed to go downstairs, walking into the doorframe after tripping on the edge of the Kingdom Hearts throw rug. Sesshomaru hung his head, groaning in defeat. He carried her downstairs for fear she'd miss one of the steps. He found a trail of Lucky Charms leading from the kitchen into the living room where the children quietly watched TV.

No noise, no mischief, everything was calm.

"What did you felons do now?" Sesshomaru asked in utter suspicion.

"Nothing Sesshounii, you said go downstairs and watch TV."

"Hai Sesshomaru-san," Kagome added, "Inuyasha told us you said so."

Miroku smiled in agreement, making the taiyoukai all the more paranoid. He put Sango down on the couch beside Miroku, who presented her with a bowl of cereal he saved for her, also with a bowl of Lucky Charm marshmallows he got from Inuyasha. Sesshomaru went into the kitchen to get his breakfast. He was going to need A LOT of fuel to deal with all four of them for a full day. Making sure everyone was eyeing the TV, Sesshomaru went to the kitchen cabinets to see what the children hadn't demolished. He opened the fridge…

It was empty.

The taiyoukai swore he felt anxiety come upon him, but collected himself and searched the other cabinets.

Empty, empty, and... empty.

"…Commence panicking."

Sesshomaru searched every compartment in the kitchen, and all that remained was half a box of chocolate pocky, an empty box of Almond Crush pocky and one row of Oreos. The taiyoukai stared stressfully at the open cabinets, lost in thought of what this meant. He couldn't ignore this, well YEAH he could, but couldn't. It just wasn't a smart idea having a house full of hyperactive children and no food.

That BEGGED a mutiny.

However, the children had demolished the last bit of food in the house; thus they had entered a famine. And of course, when you were out of food, the only thing to do was……

Sesshomaru's body froze, his face showing a hint of fear.

Hell. NO. I am not about to take those heathen children in a supermarket…but damn it all, if I ignore this, then I lose out because I'LL starve too. But wait…the only closest store that's open is…

OH DEAR BUDDHA!! ANYWHERE BUT THERE!

Sesshomaru stayed frozen in place, trying to think of a way to ration the oreos and pocky for the next week.

He walked to the front door, looking unvictorious as he stuffed his face with the cookies for his breakfast. He stopped before the front door, standing across from the coat rack. Looking down the empty hallway, Sesshomaru prepared to yell the two words that he would regret for the rest of the day.

"ROAD TRIP!"

Almost immediately, there was the thundering of little feet running down the hallway, accompanied by Inuyasha's loud and excited shouting. The kids mauled the coat rack for their coats, Miroku hurriedly pried the door open and ran after everyone else to Sesshomaru's 2007 Toyota Land Cruiser outside. He had stood in a half-lidded daze into space during the stampede, just imagining what lay ahead of him. Snapping out of it, he got his coat and growled, grabbing the wad of cash his stepmother had left on the entertainment center for this occasion.

"Gods, I hate Wal-Mart."