A/N: I'm not sure if I've really returned to the land of writing YGO fanfiction, but...in the meantime here's a nice little bit of fun for you all!

Hell of a Time

By: MercilessTantalus

"This is...the last time I come here..." Seto Kaiba growled, throwing down a wad of bills, "so why don't you take advantage of the fact I am the richest customer you'll ever have, and make it worth my while to spend my money on your shitty drinks?"

This statement was directed at the bartender who didn't seem offended in the least. Not after he saw the amount of money the man in front of him had thrown at him. "Yes sir!" he exclaimed instead and gave the person the hardest drink they had.

Knew it...Kaiba thought as he griped the drink in his hand. Age doesn't matter when you have enough money... And just now the CEO didn't care how much money he blew as long as he didn't have to think about an annoyance by the name of Yami Yugi. What a whore... he scowled to himself in his pain, throwing back the drink, and setting it back down, already feeling lightheaded.

"Nother..." he muttered to the bartender, apparently named 'Earl'. "And keep them coming" he advised, planning on getting drunk as hell and hopefully hitting something painful, sending him into obliteration on the way home.

Yeah, well...I really don't see how what you and Yugi are doing is really the fuck my problem...Yami Bakura scowled, speaking to his hikari through their link.

But, Yami...It was just a misunderstanding! See...Kaiba saw uh...he saw Yugi and I and thought it was Yami and I...

As proud of you as I may be...Bakura smirked, as he was in control of their body at the moment, as he walked all the dives of Domino, I still really don't see how that is my problem.

Because, Yami...Ryou Bakura pleaded with him If Yugi and I don't fix this, Yami isn't going to let us...uh...have any more fun, and then we'll have to sneak around and do it...and...and I swear I'll tell them that you're back! You know they think I've gotten rid of you.

Scowling, Bakura had to admit that made it his problem. "Whatever, Ryou..." he said, this time speaking out loud. "Just make sure that next time you and Yugi are having sex you lock the fucking door!"

Yami...Ryou complained as an old man they had just walked by leered at Bakura, causing the Tomb Robber to flip him off. Just...find Kaiba and send him back, okay

"Yeah, yeah..." Bakura muttered, digging his hands deep in his jacket, and glaring at everything as Ryou closed their link and disappeared back into his own room.

"You could have a fucking dog do this, but oh no...It just had to be me..." Bakura continued to glare. He knew the only reason he had to do it was because Ryou volunteered, but the boy was too much of a wuss to check out all the bars and dives the CEO must have gone to so as not to be recognized by anyone important. "Fucking little baby..." he muttered as he threw open the door to the fifth bar he had been to that night.

And low and behold a dark, familiar figure sat hunched over at the bar, drowning his woes. Bingo...Bakura thought to himself and made his way over.

Opening his mouth to yell at the person before him, he suddenly closed it again, an unholy gleam coming into his eyes. He suddenly had a much better idea. I think...I should make them worry for a while...Yeah...right. And maybe I can get a bit of fun at the same time. Couldn't hurt. Well, couldn't hurt me anyway, they don't even know I exist.

Sliding smoothly into the bar seat next to Kaiba, Bakura glared at the bartender, "Give me whatever the hell you gave him. Looks good." He ordered him, thrusting his thumb in Kaiba's direction. When the man behind the bar only raised a brow at him, his look darkened, "I got the money, you fucker, so give me what I want."

This statement seemed to draw the CEO out of his haze. Turning in his seat he gave Bakura a drunken glare that was never the less filled with fury. Trying to stand, Kaiba opened his mouth to speak, "You-"

"Yes, it's me." Bakura agreed and leaned forward, catching Kaiba before he could fall. "Easy there, buddy..." he muttered, his hand slipping into Kaiba's jacket. Nice...he thought to himself, relieving the other man of his wallet and easily slipping it into his own pocket.

"My friend here's had one too many. I'll see him home." Bakura told the bartender, grabbing his own drink and downing it before turning to deal with Seto Kaiba.

"You...you fucking-"

"Not yet, but soon..." he smirked, heaving Kaiba over his shoulder and stumbling out the door.

Even in though his mind was hazed by far too much drink, Kaiba still managed to kick his foot out and trip the Tomb Robber just as he was turning the corner. The action caused him to fall, and so both Kaiba and Bakura were in the dirt.

The blue-eyed boy tried to get to his feet, but Bakura was much faster and easily slammed him against the wall. "What the fuck do you think you're doing!" he yelled at him, pushing him hard enough to knock the wind out of the drunken man.

Opening his mouth to explain, only a burble escaped him before a spew of what he had drank over the last hour came back up and out his mouth, landing all over the dark alley and splashing onto the albino.

"You fucking BITCH!" Bakura jumped back from Kaiba and then immediately threw him against the wall again, his eyes burning with rage. "No fucking way! You are NOT getting out of this one so easily, and I think I more than deserve a reward."

Without further explanation, Bakura held him against the wall and fumbled in his pockets. "Ahhh...got it. Fuck, my hikari is so fucking weird..." he muttered to himself as he found a package of mints in his, or rather Ryou's pockets. He stuffed one into the drunken boys mouth, causing him to cough, but it went down.

"Wha...what...the hell d'you think you're doin?" Kaiba managed, gasping for breath, the alley spinning, but his mouth now minty fresh.

"Taking my fucking reward." Bakura smirked. "A fuck. You, to be precise." And with that said, he pinned Kaiba against the alley wall and slammed their mouths roughly together, shoving his tongue into the CEO's mouth and licking and sucking, tasting the other boy.

Pulling back, Bakura bit harshly on Kaiba's lips, causing him to cry out, and when they separated, blood spouted out of the wound and trailed tantalizingly down Seto's mouth. "No fucking way...I'm not gonna..." Kaiba blinked, trying to figure out what was happening.

"Oh for once in your life, recognize something good, and enjoy it." Bakura ordered him before attacking his mouth again, sucking on the blood, drinking it and biting at the wound, drawing more and making the drunken man hiss.

Meanwhile, his hands were busy sliding over Kaiba's body, relieving him swiftly of his pants and boxers. Bakura watched with a kind of satisfaction as they dropped to the dirty ground, stepping on them. Backing away, the Robber then worked on taking off his own clothes.

Kaiba's mind tried to keep up with the actions. All he knew now was the warmth, pain and pleasure were gone. Blinking blearily, he looked up and saw only a half naked albino. He didn't even care who it was. "You..." he muttered before throwing his body against the other boy's, wanting that heat back. And it was his own lips that attacked this time, plunging deep into the surprised mouth.

It took a moment for Bakura to realize that Kaiba was kissing him. But he immediately shoved him back again. "Ehh...okay, consensual then. Whatever. But I'm not taking anything from you, got it?" And as though to prove his point he threw Kaiba back again, his arms under the other boys, and lifted him into the air. "You couldn't do this as you are anyway...bitch..." he smirked.

Damn...he really IS a bitch...Bakura thought with pleasure as Kaiba said nothing back but wrapped his slender legs around Bakura's powerful body. Shit...I might have to take him again...And not just to piss of the Pharaoh. Though that's always a plus...

Moving one hand down, he rubbed against the hard body hanging onto his for a moment, enjoying the heat created by his actions. Biting harshly on Kaiba's neck he caused the taller boy to throw his head back in pleasure and pain. Right. Now. He thought, brushing against Seto's very unprepared entrance.

Not caring about the other boy's comfort, Bakura shoved his hips harshly forward. Wisely, he shoved their mouths together and swallowed Seto's scream of pain from being entered so roughly. As he did so, stars exploded in his mind. Fucking...hell...been to fucking long...

Hotly, their bodies moved against each other. Or rather, Bakura moved them together and Kaiba just held on for dear life. Clinging to the Tomb Robber and biting back whenever his flesh was close enough to do so. His own excitement rose in between them, and Bakura was kind enough to shove them together harsher, enjoying the hiss his lover emitted.

"Fucking...Shit!" Bakura growled out shoving harder to make up for the easier passage due to blood which trickled down his own legs.

A cry of pain and pleasure erupted from Kaiba and his eyes flew wide open, "Shit!" he screamed out as he was pushed to his limit, cumming hard, splattering against Bakura's chest. Hard enough to faint just as the Robber's peak followed his.

Panting, Bakura moaned in pleasure. "Fuck, that was-" he stopped mid-sentence when he realized what had happened. "Fucking hell, you...bitch!" he yelled, dropping the unconscious CEO on the ground and glaring at him. "Oh fuck...you did not just..." he sputtered in rage.

Bending down, he grabbed the boy by the hair, "You just wait...You'll fucking pay for that one, pretty boy..." Bakura promised him, already planning the next time he would get into the CEO's pants and fuck his gorgeous ass. Again...

A/N: Cheers.