Disclaimer: I do not own Justice league or any of the characters. The only thing that is mine is the plot for this story.
Shayera Hol tossed and turned in her sleep. Every night she was plagued with the same nightmare, and try as she might could not forget the awful events of the past few months. The shame and the guilt she carried was endless. She awoke with a start, dripping with sweat. She looked around and was thankful to be in her room in the watchtower. She sighed and laid back on her bed.
'I shouldn't be here' she thought. 'I don't deserve to be here. I'm no hero. I was the one who helped the Thanagarians invade Earth. I betrayed everyone. My heart aches with the pain that I've caused everyone. The only one who has seemed to forgive me completely has been John.' At the thought of him her heart seemed to melt. 'No, I shouldn't be thinking of him. He's with Vixen, and besides he's the one I hurt the most. He loved me and I betrayed him. I still love him. But I don't deserve someone like him.' She laid there for a little while thinking of what to do. 'I've made up my mind' she thought. 'I'm going to leave, tonight. So no one will try to stop me, though I doubt anyone would try to.' She got up and got dressed in her white and black belly shirt and white pants with the black stripe on the sides, packed up her few belongings and quietly left her room. The look out was unusually quiet. The only noise that could be heard was the watchtower's engines and machinery. She almost got to the loading docks when someone called out her name. She turned around and groaned inwardly. He was the last person she wanted to see tonight.
"You just gonna leave without saying goodbye?" John Stewart asked
" I thought it would be better." She replied in a cool collected tone.
"Better for whom? You or everyone else?"
"Both" she replied quietly.
"Shayera..." he started but she cut him off.
"No, John don't, please don't try to stop me. You're the only one who could. I don't deserve to be here."
"According to whom, Shayera?" he asked slightly annoyed
"According to me and apparently everyone else but you Batman, and Superman, Flash, and J'onn. Everyone else hates me and thinks I'm a traitor, and I am John. I betrayed all of Earth, I was a spy. I gave them everything, who we are, our weaknesses everything. I betrayed you and your love for me. I even betrayed my home planet. I don't deserve to be treated kindly by anyone." She said on the brink of tears.
"I don't believe you Shayera." He said disappointedly "I don't believe how you made it into your planet's army. You're never supposed to let your feelings get in the way, no matter what your assignment is. Besides when your given a command by your commanding officer you have to obey, or you could loose your position." John told her.
"That's not the half of it John. On my planet if you disobey an order from your commanding officer, they'll either strip you of your rank, or kill you." Shayera replied.
"Well there you go. So what's the problem?" he asked her
Shayera sighed. "The fact that I followed orders. If I could do everything over with what I know now, I would rather die than live with the shame and the guilt I feel." She responded sadly.
"Shayera don't do this to yourself. If you had died then how could you repent for what you did. Yea what you did was wrong. But who cares what everyone else thinks. They don't know what it's like to be in the army." John replied
Shayera snorted. "Oh now your understanding. You weren't when you found out. You were mad at me that I didn't tell you, and now you're your saying and I quote 'who cares what everyone else thinks they don't know what it's like to be in the army'." Shayera practically yelled.
"I know, and I'm sorry. I over reacted. I had just never expected you to be a spy. I thought we told each other everything." He replied regretfully remembering his trip to the future and trying to make things right between them.
"We did. I just never told you that part about my past because I was afraid of... never mind. Anyway I have nothing left here for me. Practically all of Earth and the Justice League hates me, and worse I lost you." She said that last part quietly.
"What were you afraid of and what makes you think that you lost me?" John asked her quietly.
"Well you're with Vixen now, and besides I betrayed you, why would you have any feelings for me still." She said ignoring the fist part of his question.
"Shayera, I thought I was never going to see you again. I thought it was time to get back into the dating world again. Yes I like Vixen but, I still love you and I always will. Nothing could change that. I want to be with you, forever." He replied
Shayera was stunned, she didn't know he still loved her and had no idea how to respond. "John, I.. I didn't know... I... I still love you too." She said quietly
At her words he smiled, and so did she, a smile free from worry, and regret, and smile he had missed so much and thought he would never get to see again. He walked up to her and kissed her full on the lips. After they broke apart, he hugged her tightly afraid to let go, that if he did he would find out that this was all just a dream.
"Shayera" he whispered. "What were you afraid of? That I would think less of you?" He asked her
"No never, I... I was afraid of Hro." She answered quietly and slightly shameful.
"You were afraid of him? Why?" John asked confused
"If I ever went against his orders then he would slap me. He would slap me right across the face. He would hit me if he felt like it. When I had found out his real plans, them destroying Earth, I tried to stop him. I tried to get him to find another planet, an uninhabited one, to build the Hyper Space Bypass on. He didn't like that very much, and he slapped me across the face. He did it again when he found out that I had returned your ring to you. Then you saw how he hurt me when we fought in the room that could deactivate the force field." She said in a whisper, with tears rolling silently down her face. (A/N: yes I know it doesn't exactly follow the movie, but I'm just doing that to prove a point. Just pretend that it's lost scenes)
"Shayera.. I had no idea. But if he hurt you why didn't you just leave him?" John asked confused.
"On my planet, once your promised to someone, you can't leave them. You're with them forever, and since there was no physical evidence of abuse I couldn't bring him up on abuse charges. That and the fact that he was of a higher rank than I was. They'd be more likely to believe him over me."
John just stood there shocked, and held her tighter.
"That's the real reason I came to Earth. I came to get away from Hro. But he reported me to the high council. Before I entered the Earth's atmosphere, I got a transmission, from the council, they told me that I had three choices. I could either return home to Hro, become a spy, or kill me, which I had no problem with and I told them but then they said that they would kill my mother. My mother was very sick and since she had served in our army when she was younger, she was in their care. So as I'm sure you know I chose to be a spy. My mother was the only family I had left. My father was also in the army and was killed on duty when I was very young. So I don't remember him." She said glad to be able to share this with someone. It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
Suddenly she remembered Vixen, and backed out of John's embrace.
"Shayera? What's wrong?" John asked confused
"We can't do this. This is wrong?"She replied
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Your with Vixen. Remember?" Shayera responded
"Is that what your worried about? I thought we had that covered. I love you Shayera. I can leave Vixen. I'm sure she'll understand."
"No don't, that will make me feel bad. Like my destiny is to destroy. I mean why not, I've destroyed the friendships I had, and my betrayal of my planet probably destroyed the lives of my people, and now I'd be destroying your relationship. I can't do this, this isn't right." She said slowly backing away form John.
"Shayera?" He responded confused
She turned and ran away form John and locked herself in her room. She sat on her bed and hugged her knees to her chest.
"No... no.., can't be...be happening, no... not... not..again, I'm... I'm not a destroyer, that's not my destiny. No...I... I will not...will not hurt... anyone... not...again." Shayera said in a state of hysteria.
"Shayera? Shayera! open up. Please." John called through the door. He was starting to get seriously worried.
"GO AWAY!.It's the only way you'll be safe." Shayera said
"Shayera... please" John begged
"I SAID GO AWAY!" She screamed
Outside John bowed his head knowing that there was no way to get through to her, he'd try again in the morning.
And so I went on for a week, each morning and night John would go to Shayera's door and try to get her to open up, but all she would do was yell at him to go away. She never left her room. No one saw her for the whole week. Finally John had enough of this and was emotionally exhausted, from trying to figure what was wrong with her. He went to J'onn for help.
"J'onn I don't what to do. She won't talk to me and she hasn't left her room for a week, not even for food." John stated
"I shall see what I can do." the Martian said
As for John and Vixen's relationship. She pretty much knew it was over that night on camera duty. She had seen the whole exchange between the two a week ago. In a way she was touched. She didn't expect Shayera to consider her and John's relationship, not form the way everyone talked about her. She even felt sorry for her, for what her people did to her. 'She betrayed us because they betrayed her.' Vixen thought to herself.
Vixen was on her way to find John to let him know that even though they weren't together anymore she would still be there for support. She found him in the farthest corner of the cafeteria cradling a mug of hot coffee. She walked over to him.
"John are you alright?" she asked
She seemed to have surprised him a little because he (for lack of a better word) jumped in surprise.
"Vixen!" He said in surprise. "Yea I'm alright. Look I uh think we need to talk.." he started.
"No, it's alright. You were right I do understand." she said
He looked at her confused.
She laughed lightly. "A week ago you told Shayera I will understand."
"How do you know that." she asked
"I was on camera duty that night." she responded
"Oh" was all he could say.
"Anyway that's not why I'm here. I just wanted to let you know that if you need anyone to talk to I'm here." she told him.
"Thanks Mari." he said as he gave her a friendly hug.
All of a sudden they heard J'onn over the intercom. "John, you might want to get over here now."
He looked at Vixen. "Go" she said
He raced to Shayera's room and what he found when he got there made him gasp in pure fear.
A/N: hahaha cliffy. Well what do you think so far of my first Justice league story. Please review and let me know what you think. Also it might be a while before i can update please bear with me.