Title: Must be dreaming

Author: YamixYugiforever ((it seems I'm forced to put this on now because I live with two authors who seem to love taking my stories! glares at pharaoh Yami Atemu and Galgora

Rated: M

Summary: Yami finds Yugi cutting himself often at times and finally he's had enough so he investigates and finds out that he was being ignored be his friends and family. A trilogy of songfics

Summary of chapter: to Evanescence's "Must be Dreaming" Yami finds out why Yugi has been cutting himself

Warnings: self-harm, shonen ai

Pairing: Yami/Yugi

A/N: I have wanted to write something for the last couple of weeks, but all my ides kept turning out to be bad ones. I had an idea and I wrote it down, but I had no idea where the story was heading so I gave it to Pharaoh Yami Atemu ((http/ for him to write it. He did and did an amazing job of it. So I decided hey if he can write something that good why can't I. And after listening to so much music I had an idea. This is what had become of it. Enjoy the fan fiction and I hope to have some reviews.

How can I pretend that I don't see
what you hide so carelessly?

I sat outside if my little aibou's bedroom again. I know what he's doing in there, but I pretend that I haven't noticed the cut marks that flaw the milky white skin of my beloved's wrists. I can't understand why he is doing this to himself. Had it been something I had done? Maybe it was, but I can't dwell on it now. As I here a strangled groan of pain coming from the other side of my door I get up to enter his room; always on cue.

I did this almost every other day. It would be around the time he would finish his homework. He would look at me with sad eyes and decide to leave the living room. I would follow him about five minutes later to his bedroom door. The thing I didn't understand was why he would do this in his room then in the bedroom. He would easily wash away the evidence, but then again I think he wants to be found out. Then I would here a restrained groan of pain, and I would walk into just so that Yugi didn't go to far.

Was this like and addiction? Like a drug? It sure was slowly killing him like one. With every cut he makes on his wrist was another high for him. I could feel such self-satisfaction coming form the link at times.

Sometimes at night, while almost all boy's his age would fantasized about their crushes (along with myself and it was always about my little Aibou), Yugi fantasized about seeing his blood pour down his wrist, watching how his life seemed to seep from himself. I could then hear faint whispers in his sleep through the opened crack our mind link, "I'm alive"

He wanted to know if he was alive? If that was the case why not let him dream if it was. I think his life has been great so far to be a good dream, so then why would he want to wake up from it? Am I in just a dream? A nightmare that I have conjured up from my fears of losing him, it must be. My hikari would never really hurt himself.

I saw her bleed
you heard me breathe
and I froze inside myself and turned away
I must be dreaming

I turn the doorknob so very slowly to let him try to hide his shameful secret. I hear rustle of his things. I also hear him plopping himself onto the bed. I saw him pretending to read an old book I know he has read before. How could he lie to me like that? I wanted to breakdown and cry out.

" Aibou are you alright?" I ask him. He looks at me with those eyes that tell me, " No, please help me!"

" Yeah, everything's fine mou hitori no boku," I hear him say dully turning another page of his book.

" Oh," I whisper softly and attempt to leave, but I can't. My heart is telling me to stay, but my mind is telling me to go. Tears start to form in my eyes. I don't know whether they are of sorrow or of frustration, but I know if I don't leave now Yugi will notice.

" Are you done here or do just like barging into people's room and claiming them for yourself?" he said harshly. More tears came to my eyes and I felt them go down my face. " Oh that's right? You're the Pharaoh aren't you? You claim everything, my house, my family, my friends,"

I gasped. How could Yugi so those cruel things to me? What have I done? It was my fault Yugi was doing this. I felt a sob escape me. I fell on my knees and I started to cry.

Yugi's POV

Was Yami …crying? What right has he to cry? I should be the one breaking down and sobbing! No! I will not let the pharaoh have to privilege of seeing my tears. After all that he has done to me!

/ Flash back /

I started to walk down to school with Yami. Yami had gotten his own body since then and everybody has been being friendly to him. I was glad that Yami had finally had a body.

My friends, Joey, Tristan, and Tea, had met me by the gate as they usually did. I heard a chorus of "Good morning, Yami" from the gang. Yami then responded as usual.

" Hi guys, what a pleasant day it is,"

I felt left out as no one greeted me, again. Ever since Yami had gotten his own body, everyone would rather hang out with him then me. I can't blame them Yami is cooler then me.

" Good morning," I whisper softly. I see everyone looking at me with a glare for interrupting his or her conversation with Yami. Except Yami, he would never glare at me. He smiled and walked over to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

" Well good morning little Aibou" he said cheerfully. Then I saw everyone's expression change into a warm smile. A forced smile it was.

" Good morning Yugi!"

Only because of Yami do I have friends. Only because of him I feel this hurt. I know I would never have real friends. I felt tears build up in my eyes as I saw them. I looked at yami and he had a sympathetic look on his face. He only does this because he feels sorry for me.

End of school

My mother had decided to pick us up today. She said it was much too hot for Yami to be carrying such a load on his back. Yes she only said Yami and I felt mad at her for that, but I don't blame her, Yami was the son she had always wanted. I waited for my mom with Yami at the parking lot of the mall that was only two blocks away from the school. Then I saw her car pull up right in front of us waiting for us to come aboard.

As soon as we were on we were on our way to the super market to get something, or at least my mom says.

"So how was your day, Yami?" she asked him. I felt a pang of hurt and jealousy. I looked downcast and I stared at me feet.

" Fine, thank you" Yami replies quietly. I looked up and saw my mom looked in the front mirror and she smiled. I felt those familiar tears come to my eyes and I gave a small sigh. I guess that grabbed my mom's attention.

" So what's wrong with you?" she asked harshly. I was taken back and so was Yami.

" Nothing," I replied softly feeling my voice start to falter.

" Good, were here" she said pulling the car to a parking space of the super market.

" Do you want to stay in the car?" she asked.

" Yeah, sure" I say.

" Not you, Yami, your coming inside with me anyway," I hear her harsh tone again.

" Yeah I guess," I hear Yami say. I got out of the car and went with my mom inside the small country style market.

" Yugi what flavor cake do you think you think Yami will like?" she asked me as we went around to see the cakes.

" Huh? What's the occasion?" I asked.

" Well, Yami got all A's on his report card" she said. I said that chocolate would be his favorite flavor. He was hooked on the stuff and when ever I bought chocolate for myself it was always found in Yami's stomach a while later.

We bought our stuff and found Yami sleeping in the car. We entered the car after putting the stuff away in the trunk. I sat in the passenger seat and carried the cake with me. " Now Yugi, is something happens to that cake," she warned. I nodded sadly.

We came home and I heard Yami breath deeply signaling that he was finally awake after some time. " We're here" I heard my mom say cheerfully. She looked at me and saw the cake was all right. She smiled at me for the first time in such a long time. She shut off the car after we had entered the garage and clicked a button of a device attached to the sun shield and it closed the garage door. I got up with the cake in my hands. I managed to balance the cake on my knee while I closed the car door.

" What's with the cake, Yugi?" I heard yami asked while he stretched his tired limbs.

" Well you'll just have find out now, won't you" I say. I was in a pretty good mood since I saw my mom smile at me. I heard yami giggle and wrap an arm around my shoulder. One thing I have noticed about Yami is that he liked to do that.

We entered the kitchen; Yami still had complete control over my shoulder. I giggled and sat the cake down on the kitchen table. Grandpa was there smiling and a camera in hand. Yami smiled and asked, " What is all this for?"

" You got all A's on your report!" I say cheerfully. Yami smiled and hugged me close.

" Oh you guys! You didn't have to do this!" Yami said happily. He let go of me and went to the table taking a seat right in front of where I placed the cake. Everyone crowed around Yami taking pictures of him and the cake. I felt left out there at the entrance to the kitchen. I felt like a spirit that no one could see. I quietly left the kitchen and went up stairs to my room.

I opened the door to the room I shared with Yami and saw that all my stuff was gone. There was only one bed instead of the bunk bed I had. My chest full of toys and other articles of mine was gone. The drawer that I used was now gone as well. I saw that my duel monster posters were also gone.

I bolted down stairs to ask the meaning of all of this. I saw my mom look at my worried look. " Yugi? Are you okay?" she asked with fake concern in her voice.

" What," I began breathing hard after running down the stairs, " happened to my stuff?"

" Oh yeah, that's another surprise! Hey Yami come upstairs" my mom called for Yami. He got up from his seat and followed my mom and I up the stairs. Yami wrapped his arm around my shoulder, again. My mom showed him the way to what was my room.

" Where's Yugi's stuff?" he asked confused as he looked around the room. My mom smiled and giggled.

" Silly Yami, this is your room now," she replied. I felt a familiar lump grow in my throat as I saw Yami's face light up with joy. I looked down not wanting to see anymore of this.

" Yugi, you have the guest room now," my mom says to me. She just turned to leave knowing I felt horrible. I wanted to run in Yami's arms and cry. I wanted to ask him why everyone hated me so much. The thought brought tear to my eyes again. I felt Yami lift my chin up, frowning down upon me.

" Yugi, what's wrong?" he asked me. A tear ran down my face and he wiped it away with his thumb.

" Nothing," I reply and I swat his hand away. I ran to my new bedroom to be alone.

/ End flash back /

Not long after that had I started to cut myself. The pain would ebb away as soon as I would feel to blade connect to my skin.

" Stop it Yami! You look pathetic!" I scream at him.

Yami's POV

" Pathetic? Pathetic!" I shout getting up from my previous spot on the floor. " What right do you have calling me pathetic!"

I saw Yugi back away for a second, but his smirk returned. " Yes, I do! I don't start crying like a little baby every time something happens to me anymore!" he shouted at me.

" No, you don't, but guess what that has nothing to do with what your doing to your self! You're trying to get everyone's attention by doing this! Just because the spotlight isn't on you, you start whining like a little kid! You have no respect about anyone's feeling but your own! You don't care if you kill yourself and cause other people pain!" I felt tears come back to me again, " You've hurt me Yugi! I…I love you!"

I started to cry again. I just told Yugi my deep secret that I've kept in my heart.

" No you don't," he whispered. " You do this to toy with my emotions, you think it's a game like everything else!" he spat. I cried harder and looked at him.

" Yugi, why?" I asked.

" Why what?" he cried harshly at me.

" Why do you do this to yourself?" I asked him with a hushed tone.

We all live, we all die
that does not begin to justify you

" We all die, I'm just speeding up the process, I'm very impatient and you and my supposed love ones give me reason to do so," he said with no emotion as if it was no big deal. What reason have I given him to do this to himself?

" What did I do?" I asked. I could see a smirk come to his face.

" You stole my friends and family, my room, and everything I own! I have nothing now! Nothing!" he screamed. I did all that?

It's not what it seems
Not what you think
No, I must be dreaming
It's only in my mind
Not real life
No, I must be dreaming

No this is all a bad dream! I couldn't have hurt Yugi as bad as he claims! I could never! I backed away. I was now driven into a corner and I need help. " Oh Yugi, what have I done?" I asked myself. Yugi looked shocked, but I didn't stay long to find out what else he wanted to say; I bolted down stairs.

Help, I know I've got to tell someone
Tell them what I know you've done
I fear you, but spoken fears can come true

I started to dial some phone numbers. I started with Joey, but he was obviously out with Mokuba or Seto. Then I called Tea and on the first ring I heard her voice squeal a happy, " Hello!"

" Tea! I need your help!" I cried desperately into the phone.

" Sure Yami anything," she said with concern in her voice.

" It's Yugi, he's…he's" I stumble on my words; " tried to kill himself" I finally manage to choke out. I lean over the kitchen counter and held my head with the hand I had not been using.

" What!" she cried. I heard a grumbled sigh come from her. " Well if he dies he gets what he wants, I have no pity for those people trying to seek attention"

I heard the phone click. She hung up on me. I collapse a chorus of No's came form me.

We all live, we all die
That does not begin to justify you
It's not what it seems
Not what you think
No, I must be dreaming
It's only in my mind
Not real life
No, I must be dreaming

" No,"

We all live, we all die
That does not begin to justify you
It's not what it seems
Not what you think
No, I must be dreaming
It's only in my mind
Not real life
No, I must be dreaming

" No."

Not what it seems
Not what you think
I must be dreaming
Just in my mind
Not real life
I must be dreaming


Okay I think this isn't too bad. I think this is actually pretty good. I can't wait to get some reviews. By the way in one chapter word total this is my record! Thanks please review!