Title: Must be dreaming
Author: YamixYugiforever ((it seems I'm forced to put this on now because I live with two authors who seem to love taking my stories! glares at pharaoh Yami Atemu and Galgora
Summary: Yami finds Yugi cutting himself often at times and finally he's had enough so he investigates and finds out that he was being ignored be his friends and family. A trilogy of songfics
Summary of chapter: to Evanescence's "Where will you go?" Yugi teaches Yami and the group about his value
Warnings: self-harm, shonen ai and fluff and humor with Yami!
A/N: I have wanted to write something for the last couple of weeks, but all my ides kept turning out to be bad ones. I had an idea and I wrote it down, but I had no idea where the story was heading so I gave it to Pharaoh Yami Atemu who did an amazing job on his story so I thought why can't I do the same so Wah la
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or these songs
I remember so clearly as how I saw my hikari lie on the ground with a pool of blood surrounding his lifeless body. By his own hand had he spilled his blood, but it was my fault he did it.
I cried desperately for them to let me go and see him. He was so pale, so lifeless. My blood ran cold when the doctors came in and told us that he was in a coma. I wanted them to let me go. To apologize to him! To tell him I did love him! To tell him good-bye. To ask him why he was leaving me. I wouldn't stop him though. If he wants to escape this hellhole we call earth then let him. He could live in paradise where he didn't have to put up with me or his lousy friend and family.
I just wanted to know if I could join him. If he would let me be with him, no matter where he went. I don't care I he goes on to the after life, I would follow him. I love him too much to let him go. He was my little angel like a little bird, I didn't want to let go or else he would fly away from me an never come back again. I cried harder.
They keep telling me he is going to be all right. Even then how am I to forgive myself hen this was all my fault. I ignored my little angel. I made him feel worthless. I brought him to the point where he didn't want to live anymore.
I rocked back in forth in my chair as I waited for the doctor to give me more information about Yugi's condition. I saw a doctor with a very grave look on his face.
" So how is Yugi?" I asked him.
" Yugi's chances of survival are very slim, in fact we have allowed you to go in his room and say your good-byes," he said walking off to treat his other patients. I was shaking in the arms of Yugi's mother. I was in total complete darkness without my little light.
I saw Yugi's form on the bed with tubes sticking into him. I had a nauseating feeling as I saw how pale Yugi was. I could tell Yugi had trouble breathing due to the shallowness in each and every breath. I put my hand over my mouth and I started to cry again. I couldn't be the strong on anymore. I had nothing else to be strong for.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and I started to sob on his chest. " Yugi! Why did you want to go?" I sobbed.
" I thought this is what you wanted," I hear Yugi speak. I gasped and I released my hold upon Yugi.
" You're alive!" I shouted before holding on to him for dear life.
" Yami," I heard him whisper.
" Yugi I was so afraid that you have left me!" I cried on his chest.Yugi's POV
You're too important for anyone
you play the role of all you want to be
Yami does love me, but I still was so mad at him for doing all those things to me and not even notice my suffering, or even try to ask me what was wrong. He was probably to busy trying to act mister macho in front of my friends to even care. I knew he needed me, but he needs a lesson on how to properly care for his hikari. I mentally smirked upon my plan to scare him again. I promised myself that I wouldn't go overboard with this and forgive Yami, and to let him know I still love him.
But I, I know who you really are
you're the one who cries when you're alone
" Oh now that I was going to leave mister big-shot all alone is when you really start caring for me!" hehehe being evil is fun! " No you admit you were worried and scared about me! Save it I've all ready heard it from you!" I shouted. I felt Yami let me go and give a shocked expression. I could see more tears come from his beautiful crimson eyes. Oh how I wanted to hold him and say, "CHIBI GLOMP!" and tell him I didn't mean it.
" Yes, I know, but I'm so sorry!" Yami cried. He covered his face with his hands and I heard sobbing come from him. Awww Yami you're so cute when your defenses are down! " I should have never ignored you! I should have paid more attention to your feelings!"
" That's right you should have!" I said and I gave a pout. I could tell everyone in the room knew of my charade, but no one dared to speak. They could also tell that I was really angry with them not at Yami and my words were directed at them.
" Oh Yugi!" I heard Yami cry as he put his arms around me. I smiled and I gave the small hug back ten times more. I was so happy I was with the old Yami again.
But where will you go
with no one left to save you from yourself
you can't escape
you can't escape
was so afraid without you, I would be back in the darkness!" I hear
him cry out. I wanted to sigh and hug and squeeze him and name him
George. ((………Don't ask))
But I decided his name should be Yami. My thoughts at the moment are really weird.
" And you were also afraid to face reality," I whispered in his ear.
You think that I can't see right through your
Scared to death to face reality
No one seems to hear your hidden cries
You're left to face yourself alone
" Face it Yami, if you were afraid to realize my friends were ignoring me, because you didn't want to lose their friendship with you," this I was speaking the truth, " You didn't want to lose that new found sense of authority upon someone, because your so used to being the ruler of everything that when you lost it you were going nuts!" I shouted, "You were crying out for that feeling of power that you totally forgot why you wanted it in the first place. You needed that power to feel important … to me," I whispered. I didn't mean to sound conceded, but it was the truth. He had told me before that sometimes he wished he were pharaoh so it would be easier to protect me. He also admitted to me that if he still were pharaoh he would feel better knowing he was important to me. Now I used that truth against him to help him.
" … Yugi?" I heard him. I guess that's the closest anyone's going to get to make him speechless.
" I'm not angry at you Yami, but I am upset over the fact that you didn't care," I whispered while stroking his silky hair. I heard him sigh and cuddle me more.
" I'm sorry," I heard him cry.
" It's okay Yami, I love you anyway," I said. I heard him gasp (for about the millionth time) and look up at me with stars in his eyes.
" Really?" I heard him ask.
" No Yami I lied for the hell of it, here's your sign," (I don't own that punch line but hell it's funny!) I said with a smile. He laughed and hugged me again. I chuckled and kissed him on the cheek making him blush.
I heard some "awww" in the crowd that we initially had forgotten. I let go of Yami after whispering, " Leave us, I have a few choice words with my supposed loved ones." I saw him nod and he muttered to the group that he was going out to get some coffee.
I realize you're afraid
But you can't abandon everyone
you can't escape
you don't want to escape
" Hey Guys remember me, or did you just follow Yami in here," I say harshly. I saw my mother glare at me.
" How dare you talk to us like that when you should be apologizing, for making us worry about you!" I hear her shout.
" So it is true, you abandon me when Yami leaves, right?" I say with a smirk, which took my mother by surprise.
" Stop trying to change the subject! Yugi why would you do this to us? I have no pity for you, just because your going throw these " changes" doesn't give you the right to be a brat. All your doing is seeking attention!" I heard my mother shout to me.
" First off I didn't make you worried you can only do that yourself, second off I doubt you were worried, third off I am not trying to change the subject you are!" I shouted at her. " You have no right to call yourself a mother! I mother doesn't abandon her child for someone better then him!"
"I did not! I did the best I could do to make you happy, to be a good mother to you! This is how you repay me!" she shouted.
" Like I said your trying to change the subject! You know I'm right and you're afraid to realize it! You don't ever want to be bad at something, but when it's the most important job a woman can take you decide to fail it and think of yourself as doing the best you could," I shouted harshly causing my grandfather to tear up, " You think I'm a lost cause don't you? Well guess what Yami saved me! He didn't give up on me like you did, he loves me so much that I bet he would follow me even in death to make sure my needs were fulfilled! Only one I should be apologizing to is him!"
" I have only one son now Yugi and that's Yami, he isn't ever going to treat me the way you do," she cried.
I am so sick of speaking words that no one
Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone
I can hear you in a whisper
But you can't even hear me screaming
" Treat huh? What about when I was five and my Dad raped me and you just watched with a grin on your face huh? Or what about when you used to steal money from my piggy bank to get your drugs," I started to cry, " Or when you used to beat me after you'd get drunk saying it's my fault we have no money! That wasn't even the worst part, I was only seven I had already been beaten more times then I could count, I had lost my virginity, and my mother became a drug addict!"
Oh the shocked looks on Joey's face. It was that face that said, " and I thought I had problems,"
" I was only eight when you abandoned me at the game shop and ran off with a rich guy named Steve right?" I chuckled " When he left you about two years later you moved in with us remember, again you started to drink when ever grandpa went to Egypt. Whenever I would work on the puzzle you would take the pieces and throw them across the room. Whenever I had been working all night on the puzzle you would smash against the wall the pieces that were put together. Then a year later you would steal pieces of the puzzle from me and hide home under your bed so you can sell it for your own addictions right mother of mine?" I smirked when I saw her shocked expression. I wanted to laugh coldly in her face and say to fuck off and leave your former son alone.
" Yugi! Stop it!" I hear my mother cry.
" Oh that's not all and this not even grandpa knew of," I started looking at my grandfather who was still gaping. " You moved out telling grandpa that you had found a nice home, and you took me with you, why? You became a prostitute for your addiction, but it gets better you took me with you because you thought you could make more cash off me by letting old guys fuck me right? Luckily you decided against it and brought me back home. And after all of that last year you moved back with us and decided to play nice mom, with Yami." I finished my story. I felt all this weight come off my shoulders. I could feel free from it all.
" I… don't believe him! He's lying!" I hear her cry to my grandfather who was still hanging on every word I said.
" Oh really now, then what about his scar on his neck!" I hear Yami say as he leaned against the wall nearest to the door. " Explain that!"
" I… he got it when he was little he fell down the stairs!" I hear her make these words up at the top of her head.
I realize you're afraid
But you can't reject the whole world
you can't escape
you won't escape
you can't escape
you don't want to escape
" You can't escape now tell the truth!" I hear Yami shout.
" What does this have to do about Yugi cutting himself?" she asked trying to save herself.
" Because mom I started to cut myself before all this it's the only reason I knew how I found out when you beat me it made all the emotional pain be forgotten, so this is all your fault, except for the fact my so called friends helped as well," I said glaring at Joey who looked away ashamed. " Except the fact I can forgive Joey and the others, but never you!" I spat. Joey looked relieved, but still hid his face away form me. Yami came closer to me and sat down on the hospital chair along side me.
" Yugi! I NEVER LOVED YOU! YOU WERE A MISTAKE I MADE WITH YOUR FATHER WHEN I WAS SIXTEEN! YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN!" I heard her shout before she ran out of the room. I felt a pain rise inside of me. But then I saw Yami and I found a reason why I should have been born. I smiled at him and he smiled back.
" Yug' is it true, can yah forgive me?" Joey asked my approaching the bed.
" Eh? Sure why not?" I said while opening my arms and gave him a big hug.
" I didn't realize how awful she treated you, in fact I didn't know you had a scar on your neck," I heard grandpa say. I looked down as the memories came back to me again.
" My Dad held a broken beer bottle to my neck as he raped me, it cut me, but not deep enough to kill me," I say. I took off the collar and there was a huge scare going across the bottom of the side of my jaw to my Adam's apple. Yami was the only one who saw it besides my parents. Joey gasped and held his hand over his mouth, and my grandfather just gaped like a fish.
" So anybody else hungry?" I asked cheerfully. The three of them looked at me and smiled and hugged me tight. I felt loved again.
" Yami! What the hell are you doing?" I cried as Yami started to nipple my earlobe.
/Oh you no you like it/ he responded using the mind link. I giggled and I pushed him off me. I stated to run. Yami started to chase me and I felt myself giggling all the way through until Yami pulled my down onto the park's grass. I felt Yami climb on top of me and straddle me.
" I guess you guys are havin' fun" I heard Joey say while looking down at us.
" Oh hey Joey!" I laughed as Yami, being as stubborn as he was, stayed there and startle to nipple on my neck.
" By the way the police caught your mother, she's been arrested," he said with a smile. I laughed and got up knocking Yami off of me. I rubbed his behind and looked at me with those, " I'm a hurt puppy" type eyes. I smiled and hugged my hurt puppy.
" Okay well I better go now bye!" Joey called off as we saw Seto pick him from the park. I smiled and kissed Yami and the nose.
" I love you"
" I love you too"
Okay 3013 words there so I came upon my promise! Anyway I hope to write another fan fic soon but first I need a plot bunny, so if anyone has one that needs to be adopted give it to me! (IDEAS!)
Anyway my Internet isn't working right so thank you to those who reviewed! See yah!