Here I am again.
Only this time it's different. This time I'm alone. You and Harry aren't here to help me get through this and if you were, I wouldn't be experiencing this in the first place. There are a lot of things weighing down on my mind, so many that I don't even know if I can explain them. Where am I supposed to begin? You can't possibly understand how difficult this is…after all, you and Harry were gone before I even had the time to think.
It's strange, being here without you. The castle is in ruins. I found Harry a while ago, just lying there in the rubble. The crows were trying to get to him, they're like bloody vultures. "Can't you just leave him in peace!" I wanted to scream. "He's done enough for the world, let him finally rest!" Of course, the crows couldn't understand what I was saying but I think they got the hint when my foot came their way.
God, I could've cried right then. Harry, not able to be at peace even in death. I found out it wasn't a spell that killed him in the end, but stone falling from the sky as the castle crumbled. He was covered in his own blood... it was horrible. But just think - he died right after he killed Voldemort. He must be happy, reunited with his parents and Sirius. He's so lucky; he even has you for company now.
McGonagall found me kneeling beside Harry's body and we both carried him to what was left of the hospital wing. He was long gone by then but it seemed only right to plan a proper funeral for him when the time came. I don't think I noticed I was crying at the time when we laid him on a bed. I just kissed his forehead and turned away to find you.
Neville found you first, near the lake's shore. I came out and he left me alone for a while, holding you in my arms like I never had before. Your skin was still pink and you hadn't grown cold quite yet. I cried even more then. Why was it that your first time in my arms was to be your last? Why couldn't I have gone with you? You know I would've gone with you, to the grave. But you've left me and gone to place where I can't follow.
I screamed, screamed as loudly as I could. It wasn't right for you to leave me before I had the chance to say I love you. You weren't supposed to die. And while I was holding you by the lake, your brown hair spilled over my arms…I reached for your hand and this time, you didn't pull back. You looked so beautiful and I cried because you could never be mine. I cry now because I should be with you.
It isn't right that the infamous golden trio be split apart. We were perfect together. You and I were perfect together.
After my time with you by the lake was spent, I kissed you as I never was able to before and then went back to the castle. I found some parchment, ink, and a quill that were still in good condition and now I am writing this to you.
I never had the opportunity to show you just how much I love you, to sit with you still alive in my arms by the fire, to write you love letters. I never had the courage to ask you out but now…now I have the courage to do more than that. I have the courage to love you unconditionally, to follow you to a place where we can be together, where we can be perfect. All I ask is for your love in return. You won't have to wait for me anymore.