DISCLAIMER: The boys aren't mine, the idea is barely mine, as it was in response to a cute icon.
WARNING: You should know by now that Secret Slashyness writes slash.Medallion
They had both bought the medallions over the summer as a symbol of their unique relationship and their determination to stay friends forever. The religious connotation was not lost on them and on Remus' part at least, it was a devoted promise to his God that he would always remain loyal. Eventually it would become one for Sirius as well, the miniature cross dangling precariously on the slim black leather thong becoming the centre of his whole world.
He wasn't sure if he was Christian, exactly. He believed it was more that he had found the belief in God and he was devoted entirely and completely to the preservation and worship of his maker. The words Remus preached to him in that deep, husky tone struck him to his core and he would remember forever after the absolute conviction that here in this institution he had found his purpose.
Initially he wondered how Remus had stayed so true to his cause, so steadfast in the worship of his ideals. But then he began to listen to what Remus was saying with his heart rather than with his fickle ears that heard what they wanted to hear, and he was converted. He was fulfilled in his belief that the white light of God would light his way in his life, that never was he alone and always was God watching. He knew Remus needed the religion to keep himself at peace with the werewolf inside him and he knew that was where Remus' belief in the love and forgiveness of God sprang from.
The simple cross made from the humble green jade stone hung from Sirius' neck, without falter swinging as he walked. Remus' ornament dangled from his wrist, where he wrapped the slender thong to keep it always within his vision. Their belief in God did not counter their mischievous streak, as Sirius had first been afraid it would.
He had come to Remus under cover of darkness to confess his desire to commit a prank, and listened in wrapt awe to the wise words of his friend, who lectured of a love so pure that no amount of pranks could ever alter it, that always would he be loved and accepted. Sirius had taken this to his heart and renewed his belief in his God and his devoted acquiescence to the greater good that was his Master.
But what Sirius was certain his all-forgiving leader could never accept was the feelings he possessed for Remus, his spiritual leader and his true friend.
They had come to him a while ago, but he had done nothing about them except to push them down and fight their true meaning. He could never let his friend in on the emotion, he knew. He would never put that strain on his friend, after all he taught Sirius and all he had given him. He could not put Remus into such contradiction with his God, knowing what forgiveness meant to him. So he had pushed away the rising attraction, he had squashed the bubbling feelings of love and he had ignored the overwhelming desire to take Remus in his arms and teach him another sort of love.
He had thought he had everything under his control, and that he was on top of the emotion and the attraction. He had thought he was his own master, and he begged God to help guide his actions and suppress his emotions in this matter.
He thought, when he saw Remus undressing by the Prefect bath, that God had deserted him and not answered his prayers of guidance. He had thought he had been left out in the cold to find his own way back to the gates of enlightenment, and that Remus had lied to him when he said that all prayers were answered.
But then he realised that sometimes the answer is just 'no'.
He was standing in the corners of the bathroom, out of place in a room forbidden to him. He wanted to call out and alert Remus to his presence before the werewolf revealed something he had strived so hard to keep hidden, but he could not force his limbs to move and his voice locked up on him.
He watched with a guilty pleasure as Remus carefully slid out of his voluminous school robes and then gently unbuttoned the white school shirt he wore. His breath caught in his lungs as the clear skin hidden underneath the linen was revealed and Sirius was given the view that nobody had ever before seen.
The warm, pale skin was exposed to the cold of the English air, even protected by the coils of steam rising up from the mammoth bath waiting beside him, and tiny goose bumps rose up from the smooth expanse of milk white skin. Remus shivered in the cold and his shoulder blades rippled with the movement, causing the skin to glide over the muscles.
Sirius' eyes travelled over the wonderland of purity that was the boy in front of him, and he prayed desperately that he be saved from damnation for his impure thoughts. He could not look away as achingly slowly Remus lowered his trousers, his thoughts obviously occupied elsewhere as he absently undressed himself.
Sirius shivered in the cold himself, being completely naked as he had stolen into the Prefect bathroom for a warm shower after James had nicked the last of the hot water after Quidditch. He stood steaming in the corner, unable to hide and unable to restrain the heat rising in his body. He leant his head back against the stone wall and prayed for forgiveness as his eyes strayed again to the contour of his friend, who was still oblivious to his presence.
Finally he could stand the tension of the moment no longer, his eyes glued to Remus' slender form, and he forced himself to step forward and reveal himself to the exposed boy, who was now wearing nothing more than the single cross on his wrist. This was equal to what Sirius was wearing, which was the ornament hanging over his collarbone and nothing more.
A strangled croak came from his throat as he stepped forward and he winced at the shock, surprise and anger flashing through Remus' tawny eyes.
"Sirius!" He gasped and attempted to cover himself up.
He wasn't fast enough, however, for Sirius, who found himself moving like lightning and halting the movement with a single hand on his friend's shoulder.
"Sirius?" Remus repeated, his voice quiet and deep as he searched his friend's eyes.
Sirius could give him no answer, his voice completely useless, and instead he lifted one finger and gently traced a silver scar down the entire right side of his friend's body. Remus' eyes widened at the touch and he stiffened, his eyes closing, but he didn't pull away and let Sirius' finger continue its exploration.
Sirius took in a ragged breath as he let another finger fall to trace another scar and another finger along with another until his whole hand was flat against his friend's chest, gently exploring the warm, smooth skin he found waiting for him. He risked a glance at Remus' face and found his eyes closed and his brow furrowed. His cheeks were slightly flushed. The eyes flickered open as Sirius watched and the amber depths focussed solely on the electric blue orbs in front of him.
"Sirius." Remus breathed. "What are you doing?"
"I love you." Sirius managed, his voice nothing more than a whisper.
He watched as the beautiful, gold flecked eyes suddenly widened and the blush rose. He knew he had lost his best friend forever, that he would back away with the knowledge and lose himself in his religion once more.
And then suddenly he was falling, his balance gone as he was pushed backwards into the waiting water. He knew instantly that his day had come, that this was his judgement day, his telling and his trial. He would die in an instant, and he would come face to face with his God.
He closed his eyes and let the moment come.
He was not prepared for what followed. Instead of the burning fire of hell he anticipated, he instead experienced the sensation of lips upon his as he fell, falling with him into eternal damnation. His eyes tried to fly open in shock, but they were forced closed by the force of the water around him.
The water surrounded him, drowned him, revived him, and he felt warm arms wrapping around him and coming to rest in his wet, tangled hair and gently on the side of his face. He reacted on pure instinct – or he was helped from above – by pulling the lithe, slick form atop him closer to his own.
The kiss he was feeling took over his entire consciousness and tore through his brain like floodwaters. The desperate, teasing motion of the lips assaulting his own mimicked by his own abandon as he gave up all hope of salvation and gave his entire life over to the feeling.
Remus pushed himself hard against Sirius as they fell, and he could feel the water rushing past him. The passion was paramount, as their lips danced in emotion, rebellion and abandon rivalling between them as their passion ruled over their reason.
His hands slid over the silky slick form above him, bringing Remus closer and closer until there was no Sirius and Remus, only one entity.
He felt his necklace banging against his neck and he wanted to rip it off in defiance, until he realised that he had found his religion, just not in the way he had anticipated. Remus' cross slid across his shoulder and clinked together with his own, and Sirius realised that their great love was each other.
Their religion was to love, and to be forgiven. God would accept them in any form and just because they loved one another was not to mean they loved God less.
But while they were mortal and living on the earth, they were for each other, they worshiped each other and their religion was each other.AUTHOR'S NOTE
Jayde, you are my religion.
This was written in response to an icon I found and Hannah fell in love with. I can't find the site I got it from, but if you're interested, give me a yell and I'll e-mail it to you.
What do you think of this one? I think it's okay. Hannah likes it, of course, lol.
Well, love you all and look! I have another fic, lol, are you proud of me?