Title: Can We Keep Her?

Author: kaya lizzie

Category: Humor, Rating: K+ (just in case)

Summary: After rescuing a woman, Mike & Don explore the reasons why "keeping" her isn't a good idea.

Disclaimer: I do not receive money for this (sigh) so don't sue me. If you recognize them, I don't own them, I own the storyline only. However, in the unlikely event that I do acquire the TMNT, the first round of drinks are on me……

Hello good people of TMNT fandom! This is my first fic (a short shot), so please, be gentle! All reviews/constructed criticism welcome. A big thanks to my fellow TMNT addict, Sassyblondexoxo, for gently putting a fire under my rear to get it in gear. Thanks Sassy and I'll see you at our next "meeting"! Other TMNT addicts are welcome to join us, ha!

Italics are character's thoughts. In case you don't notice (ha ha), I like to space my writing out. I find that it makes it easier to read.

Chapter 1: Death of a Can Opener

Mike and Don thought that this night was to be like the past few ones…..boring and uneventful. Ever since Splinter, Leo and Raph headed off to the farmhouse a few days ago to have a private "retreat," they found that holding down the fort to be more tedious than they expected. Actually, it was more Mike than Don that thought that. Mike missed annoying Raph, sparring with Leo, and trying the patience of Splinter. Almost being completely alone didn't suit him, and poor Don was about to find out just how much Mike was missing "business as usual."

Mike began the evening by watching TV, but he found himself glancing towards Don's room every few minutes.

What the heck is he doin' in there?

Mike's urge for attention was getting the better of him. The cartoon he was watching was beginning to lose its luster, and without thinking twice, Mike hopped off the couch and headed to Don's room.

"Heeeeeeeyyyyy Donnie, whatcha doin'?" Mike sang in a nursery rhyme melody that would irk even Mother Goose.

Don heard the merry little voice from within his room and cringed. Looking up from his book, he sighed as he studied the broken contraption in front of him.

Oh boy, I'll never get this thing fixed now.

Don frowned as he put down his book, and began pulling screws out of the back of the instrument of his attention. He resolved to figure out what was wrong with it, even if it meant that his patience would be tested with Mike's interruption.

Mike crept around the corner and waited for a response, but got none. He found Don with his head buried in a big "How To" book, clearly trying to ignore him. Mike grinned.

"Whatcha readin' bro?

"How to Get Rid of Your Nagging Brother in 5 Minutes or Less," came the flat reply.

Mike frowned. "Nah uh, the cover says…." Mike struggled to read the title that was hidden under his brother's thick finger, "How to Repair Household App..appli..uh…"

"..Appliances." Don completed, feeling a slight rise in his blood pressure.

"Yeah, what you said."

Mike waited for Don to explain further, but Don continued to read on as if he wasn't there. Mike's curiosity got the better of him, and so he continued.

"So, uh, what kind of app…ap...uh...thingy are ya fixin'?"

Don stopped reading and looked at Mike like he just swallowed a roach.

"Mikey, don't you know an electric can opener when you see one?" he said exasperated, pointing it out on the table in front of him.

Honestly, Mike hadn't even noticed, his attention was focused on trying to get Don to talk to him. Mike glimpsed briefly at the can opener and passed his hand over his head as he grinned sheepishly.

"Duh, sorry bro."

Don rolled his eyes and snorted. He looked back down at the book and continued reading. It was painfully clear to Mike that he was trying to ignore him, but he was determined that it wasn't going to be possible, not now anyway. Time to bring out the ammo that only Mike possessed…..persistent aggravation.

Ignore me, will you. Ha, you don't stand a chance Donnie boy.

Mike rushed over to Don's side and grabbed his arm frantically.

"Pleeeeeease can we go out for pizza, pleeeeeease….." Mike pleaded.

The sudden jolt caused the thick book to be jarred out of Don's hands, and with one quick motion, fell against the poor can opener. Knocking it backwards, the impact caused internal pieces of the can opener to fly in all directions, littering Don's desk with the "guts" of the unfortunate casualty.

Mike let go of Don's arm, and with mouth gaping open, turned to view his handiwork of destruction.

Uh oh.

Don took a quick glance at what was once a can opener and glared at Mike.

"Wow Mikey, you broke your record..." Don paused and looked at his clock, "…two minutes in my room and you've already broken something."

"What was my previous record?" Mike asked with a nervous grin.

"Three minutes," Don said, still glaring at Mike. He continued, "You've just taken what could have been a half day's project to several days, and that's IF I'm lucky enough to be able to salvage the thing. I should seriously pound you for this Mikey."

"No pounding from you, bro, that's Raph's job," Mike said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah well, Raph's not here," Don pointed out.

Mike looked at Don defiantly, shaking his head and crossing his arms.

"Uh uh, no way dude, only Raphie can pound me."

"If Raph knew you were calling him that, he'd pound you for sure."

"Yeah, but he's not here, so what Raphie doesn't know, won't …uh…how's that go again?" Mike scratched his head.

Don sighed, lacking the energy to argue. "Whatever."

After surveying the destruction, Don realized that he was too disgusted to try and revive the can opener now. Casting a dirty look at Mike, he got up and headed towards the coat rack. Mike's eyes lit up when he saw Don reach for a trench coat. With a speed that a roadrunner would have envied, Mike was at Don's side once again, bouncing around like a wind up toy on a Christmas morning.

"Ooooooh, we're gonna get pizza, right Donnie? Huh, are we? Are we? Tell me we're gonna?"

Without warning, Don quickly turned to Mike and grabbed him by the throat, slamming him against the wall. Mike's shell made a sickening thud sound as it hit the bricks. Mike stood silently, not daring to speak or move.

Don took a few deep breaths, and when he realized what he just did, he swallowed hard and let go of Mike.

"Mikey," Don gasped, "you are seriously testing my patience. Please calm down before I do something we'll both be sorry for."

Mike rubbed his throat and stared unbelieving at Don.

"Dude, you've been hanging around Raph too long, maybe you shoulda gone with him to cool down at the farmhouse," Mike said crossly.

"And maybe I should find you some Ritalin before you drive me crazy," Don retorted in the same tone.

Mike folded his arms again and pouted…..well, as much as someone with no lips can pout.

"So, are we gonna get some pizza or what?" he asked in a huff.

Don took some more breaths, trying to cool his blood down some more. He was still in shock at what he just did.

"Yeah Mikey, let's go get some pizza. I'll let you pick the toppings."

Mike immediately perked up and gasped, "Really?"

Don began to climb the ladder. "Yeah, as long as you don't put too much craziness on it."

Mike finished adorning himself with his own trench coat and hat and soon followed Don up the ladder.

"Awww," Mike whined, "I was really looking forward to a grape jelly and cabbage pizza."

Don looked down at Mike and almost choked on the sudden surge of bile in his throat.

"Not funny Mikey," he spluttered.

Mike chuckled as he looked up to see the disgusted look on Don's face.

"Aw yeah bro, mondo funny."

A/N: Whew, this was 5 hand written pages, but it sure doesn't seem like it when I typed it.

Don't forget to review folks! Chapter 2 is in the works! Thanks for reading!