Summary: When Atton and Sienna, the exile, have a bit too much to drink, words are exchanged... perhaps with more truth to them than expected...
Disclaimer: I don't own Knights of the Old Republic, Star Wars, or any of this stuff except for the name Sienna Vaas, my exile. x) Don't sue me. I'm innocent!
Quick Pre-note: I finish this up so quickly and got a few reviews, I was so anxious to post this! So here goes!
Sienna opened her eyes, and forgot where she was for a minute. All she perceived was that she had one hell of a headache.
Why did I even let Atton talk me into going to that cantina? she wondered to herself as she sat up on the couch in the common room of the Ebon Hawk. Then the previous night washed over her. Sienna fell back onto the couch with a groan.
Flirting incessantly with Atton hadn't been her smartest move. But she had been drunk! Really… and it's not that Atton was bad-looking or anything, he was rather cute…
Sienna shook her head. Nope… love is not a good thing. She knew it wasn't. She would take Revan's route, and cut herself off from love. She recalled when they were younger back at the jedi enclave on Dantooine… Malak had always ogled Revan. Sienna had finally confronted him, but the boy was too stubborn to admit to the obvious.
But her memories were interrupted as Mira walked into the room, muttering angrily to herself.
"Hey Mira what's up?" Sienna asked the bounty hunter. Mira turned around abruptly and smiled ironically. "The pilot giving me some crap," the redhead muttered. "You got the same hangover eh?"
"Is it that obvious?" the blonde grinned. Mira sat down next to the exile on the couch.
"Atton asked me the same question," Mira told her. "I have the same answer for you. I was in the cantina. I saw you guys. I never imagined you to be a heavy drinker."
Sienna chuckled. "I'm not. I don't know why the Force I drank so much. I was drunk as hell. You saw me with Atton didn't you?" Mira smirked and nodded. "I was an idiot." She quieted for a moment. "Do you understand men Mira?"
The bounty hunter grinned. "They're easy prey. And usually full of themselves with pride." Her voice sounded bitter.
"So why are you in such a fit from talking with Atton?" Sienna asked curiously.
"Because he's difficult and doesn't listen to me," Mira mumbled. "I want some caffa."
"Can you bring me some?" the exile called after Mira's retreating back. The redhead lifted a hand affirmatively and walked out. She returned only moments later with two mugs of caffa.
"Thanks," Sienna said graciously as she drank down the caffa. "Got anything for this hangover Mira?" The bounty hunter shook her head as she sat down with her own caffa. She seemed deep in thought. Sienna sighed lightly. She still felt a bit strange about last night. Kreia always called Atton a fool. But since when did Sienna believe everything Kreia said? Well, actually, Sienna believed most of it, but when it came to her friends, and she'd consider Atton a friend, the exile always thought Kreia was wrong.
"Do you like Atton?" Mira blurted out, surprisingly Sienna.
"What?" she jumped slightly. The redhead smirked.
"Do you like Atton?" she repeated the question. "As more than a friend."
"No," Sienna replied a bit quickly. She pulled her caffa up to her mouth again and took a sip. She didn't like Atton romantically. She couldn't. He was a scoundrel. He was a fool. No… that was Kreia speaking. Did Sienna in all actuality have feelings for Atton?
"Stop bluffing," Mira scoffed. "I know you guys both like each other. He tried to deny it to. He's always acting all affected by angst. Honestly. He's so overdramatic." Mira sipped her caffa again.
"Drunks may act stupidly, but like I told the pilot, you guys were acting on feelings that were already there. I've seen a lot of drunks. The flirtatious ones didn't usually appear as comfortable as you two." Mira smirked, but Sienna avoided the formers gaze as she stared at the ground.
"I'll leave it up to you two I guess," the redhead sighed. "You're both so thick. Just avoiding this won't solve anything. Bluntness goes a long way. Saves a lot of worrying and time."
Mira walked out of the room to who knows where on the Ebon Hawk, leaving Sienna to her musings.
Sienna was planning on talking to Atton once she met with the jedi masters. But things didn't go as planned with what happened next. Unconscious, being awoken by Atton, Kreia missing and three jedi masters dead by her feet, Sienna had no time to worry about the scoundrel walking by her side as she was asked to go to Telos.
A huge battle was fought on Telos, Onderonian soldiers came, Mandalorians from Dxun came, and Visas and Mandalore followed Sienna as they confronted Darth Nihilus, Visas' master, on his ship The Ravager. And he died by the two women's lightsabers.
But Sienna Vaas knew she had to talk to Atton soon. And she would. Once the situation on Telos was stable, and the enemies warded off, Sienna planned to talk to Atton. She hadn't decided exactly what to say, but she would know.
Atton Rand was thinking along the same lines. He wanted to talk to Sienna after being confronted by Mira days ago, but he hadn't gotten the chance since events had been in quick succession since leaving Nar Shadaa.
Sienna had been summoned to meet with Admiral Onasi. Once she returned, he would talk to her. Sienna was thinking the same thing as she followed two TSF officers to Admiral Carth Onasi. She would talk with Atton, set him straight about their situation once she returned.
What differed was what they planned to tell each other. Atton decided to take Mira's advice, set aside his pride and tell Sienna how he felt. Sienna, however, didn't want to experience these emotions. She would lie to him, and tell her she didn't care for him any more than as a companion and friend.
"So you are the last of the jedi," Admiral Onasi greeted Sienna as she arrived in his office on Telos. "The exile."
"My name is actually Sienna Vaas Admiral," Sienna interjected.
"And I am Carth," Admiral Onasi said with a small smile, holding out his hand. Sienna shook it. "You must be wondering why I have asked you to come here. I have been hoping to speak with you for some time. Ever since you arrived on the Harbinger. But you have eluded the Republic's grasp multiple times. But now, you are here."
"Yep, I'm here," Sienna agreed, tucking a bit of her dirty blonde hair behind her ear. "So why am I here Admiral… Carth."
Carth had turned away from her at the end of his short speech and turned back around. "You fought with Revan in the Mandalorian Wars did you not?" Sienna nodded. "You two were once friends weren't you?" Sienna nodded again. Of course, her last confrontation with Revan probably didn't really count as friendship since Revan had stabbed Sienna with her lightsaber.
"Are you going to travel out into the Unknown Regions after her?" Carth asked softly. Sienna looked up at him curiously. He was bent like a man broken down and knocked down one too many times.
"I don't know," Sienna shrugged. "I may. Did you know Revan?"
Carth nodded. "I was with her crew when… well you surely have heard the rumors of Revan's Redemption haven't you?" Sienna nodded her head. "Her memory… it was wiped and the jedi created a whole new identity. So she became the savoir of the galaxy. She went on a secret mission. I was a part of this mission. I traveled with her. She didn't know who she was. She eventually learned though. But she had become a good person by that time, despite her past. She killed Darth Malak and like I said became a savoir of the galaxy.
"But that wasn't enough. She was haunted by the past that had been wiped from her mind," Carth continued. "It was still there. So she left. Just one day, she got up and left us all behind. She left me behind." Carth had said that last sentence with such quietness that Sienna felt she might've just imagined it.
"Do you want me to bring her back?" Sienna questioned the ragged man tentatively.
Carth shook his head. "If you see her, just tell her Carth Onasi is waiting for her." He lowered his head down to the ground. "I've been waiting for four years."
Was this what Atton would look like if Sienna left? "I will tell her," Sienna agreed. Carth smiled sadly and thanked her, and she left the office and walked back to the Ebon Hawk, her mind ablaze with new concepts.
It was fairly obvious that Carth had loved Revan, whether or not she loved him back. Sienna couldn't see Revan loving anyone, but the Revan Sienna had known had obviously changed. Revan believed Sienna to be dead anyways.
But could Sienna do to Atton what Revan had done to Carth? And if Revan hadn't said anything to Carth… could Sienna never tell Atton the truth? What if she never saw Atton again? Could she leave him… wait… how did she even know he cared for her that way? Mira had declared that Atton had feelings for her, but could the exile believe the bounty hunter?
Sienna couldn't lie to herself of all people. She loved Atton. She loved his smug smirks, his curses when he yelled at T3, the way he glared at the Disciple every chance he got, the way he called Kreia a witch (which Sienna had to admit she was) and all these things were stupid things but they were purely Atton.
But did the scoundrel love her?
The exile didn't even get a chance to hunt Atton down; he found her first. Walking down the exit ramp of the Ebon Hawk was Atton Rand in all his… well could you call it glory? His jacket was a bit ripped, his face had a smudge of grease on it, and his jet-black hair was a bit untidier than usual, but he still looked like Atton.
On Atton's mind at that moment was how beautiful Sienna could look, even after constant battle for days straight, not to mention the struggle they had all experienced for the past months. But as she walked towards the Ebon Hawk a small and slightly sad smile upon her face, Atton couldn't help but feel inferior. He knew he looked bad. Tinkering with the ship before meeting Sienna hadn't been the brightest idea ever. But how could he ever match up to her beautiful short blonde hair, fierce stance, porcelain skin, just barely tanned by the lights of all the galaxy, and her icy blue eyes that sometimes held warmth… sometimes when she looked at him. Like the night in the cantina…
"Atton," Sienna smiled as she approached him.
"Sienna," Atton grinned as they met just at the end of the exit ramp of the Ebon Hawk. "Do you know if we could talk a bit?" Sienna nodded and they walked onto the ship. Most of the crew was wandering around for a little bit. Atton had warned them that they'd be leaving in about an hour or two, so they'd be back soon.
"I wanted to talk to you too," Sienna told him as they walked into the cargo hold. They both sat down on some boxes and chuckled nervously. She wondered what was on his mind. He wondered what was on hers.
"You remember back on Nar Shadaa? In the cantina right?" Atton began.
"And Mira was watching us," Sienna rolled her eyes. Atton looked at her incredulously.
"Mira talked to you too?" he asked her astonished. Sienna nodded. He chuckled. "If I didn't know any better she'd be trying to fix us up."
"Why would you say that?" Sienna asked him.
"Well… she came up with this crazy idea that you and I… that we you know… liked each other in that sort of way…" Atton trailed off. Sienna didn't want to say anything. She wasn't sure where Atton was going with this.
The scoundrel was astonished that the normally fierce and brave jedi sitting next to him wasn't doing anything. She had wanted to talk to him too! So why was she making him suffer like this?
"Yeah… well… Mira may not have been as crazy as I thought she was," Atton muttered, avoiding looking at Sienna. He couldn't avoid the subject for long, especially if he looked into her eyes.
"Atton," Sienna cut in, setting her hand on his knee. "What are you trying to say?"
He sighed. He had no idea how to say what he wanted to. In fact, he wasn't really sure how. But he did think of a way of telling Sienna exactly how he felt.
Spontaneously, Atton's head jerked forth and he pulled Sienna into a kiss. Atton had had his share of kisses, and to him none was like this one. Maybe it was because she was a jedi, but he knew it was something else. It was because he cared for her above anyone else. He… loved her.
Like you loved that other jedi you murdered? Atton's mind told him.
No, he argued with himself. I won't kill Sienna. I love her.
Sienna was a bit surprised when Atton had kissed her, but she certainly enjoyed it. His hands both found their way around her face and one cupped her cheek while the other was at the back of her neck, warm against the cold. Sienna's own hands were moving their own ways as well. While one found its way onto Atton's chest, the other reached out to the back of Atton's neck, playing absent-mindedly with a bit of hair.
Atton pulled her in deeper, kissing her more passionately than before, with more feeling and conviction behind it. He savored every moment, enjoyed it beyond any form of entertainment anywhere in the galaxy, even in the red zone of Nar Shadaa.
But it had to end, and explanations had to come forward. The pair broke apart and both were sporting smiles, though Sienna had to admit his was a bit goofy.
"I don't know if you ever really forgave me for my actions of the past… you know when I was that jedi assassin… and I killed heartlessly. But whether you really forgave me or not… I… I love you Sienna," Atton murmured, looking different than he had before. Sienna hadn't seen this side of Atton before. She guessed that everybody had different sides, some that they never showed.
Sienna expected to feel scared and afraid at hearing these words. She wanted to be able to recoil and say that she didn't love him back. She wanted more than anything to run out, and scream in fear, leaving behind a broken-hearted Atton. But she didn't feel that way and she couldn't do such things. She loved him.
"I love you too Atton," Sienna smiled at him. "And… I feel like I have to forgive you, you know." She sighed. "You weren't the only heartless killer in the universe Atton. I killed too. Friends of mine, teachers and fellow soldiers, we all killed. And some of us were as emotionless as you were. Murderers. I guess… I have to forgive you. If I want to forgive myself. And I have to do that."
Atton's smile that had faded returned, wider this time. "You gave me a chance at redemption," he told her.
"Can you give me that same chance?" Sienna asked him. She seemed more vulnerable than she had ever looked before, a look on her face that could break his heart. It was obvious he wasn't the only tortured soul in the room.
He kissed her again, more swiftly and quickly before holding her tightly to his body, all thoughts gone besides the one thought playing over and over again in his head. She loves me! She loves me! Somebody loves me… somebody I love!
"I'll give you anything you want," Atton whispered.
It was odd for Atton to be feeling the way he was. He was Atton Rand, scoundrel and Pazaak player extraordinaire. He piloted some ships, smuggled a lot of crap, and once upon a time he was a damn good jedi assassin. But that past was behind him now. Now he had the chance to be something more. Something better. She had given him that chance.
"If I ever left you," Sienna asked quietly, still held tightly in Atton's arms. "Would you wait for me?" It was silent for a moment. Just a moment.
"I would wait forever for you," Atton replied, not letting go of her anytime soon. He didn't add, I feel like I already have. "I love you, you are my redemption, and, well Sienna, I don't have much else of worth besides you." Also left unspoken was, I hope I never have to wait again.
Ignoring the fact that the crew would be arriving back shortly and ignorant to the fact that there was still danger to be faced soon enough, Sienna and Atton stayed together in the cargo hold of the Ebon Hawk, locked in a deep embrace, ironically both thanking the fact that they were once drunk in a Nar Shadaa cantina, and that that had led them to this.
Mira smirked from her spot in the doorway as she stared at Sienna and Atton.
"Called that one," she whispered to herself as she walked away, quite smug with the fact that she had basically set them up. They better thank me.
As you can see, I drew references from backstory not included in this fic. Instead, much of the backstory are story breaks from Destiny (mostly not yet posted). Like with the couch, there is something about that cargo hold! I wrote a nice Carth Revan scene involving that cargo hold. It hasn't taken place yet though. But geez! I keep ripping myself off. Makes me look bad.
Anyways, I'm sorry if it's a bit awkward (not to mention cheesy); I just had to get this plot bunny out of my head and onto my computer. XD I threw in a slight bit of drama, not much really, but I hope it isn't too much. The romance has a very angsty back to it that just needed to be thrown in.
Silvershadow667 – I am sorry if I made the Exile seem beyond stupid. I'm sorry, I have no references for drunk people, I had to draw upon what I've seen on TV and in movies and read because frankly I haven't been in the presence of too many drunk people. Perhaps one day I'll revise this and make the Exile gain some of her intelligence back. XD
So… I hope you readers liked it! Because I had fun writing this. Short as it was, I hope it tells the story I wanted to tell. Enjoy! And give me some feedback whether you liked it or not. Mucho Thanks to everybody who reviewed the first part. You guys rock. And yep, this is the end of this fic. The end. :)