Not The Answer
By: Kuroi Neko-kun
Summary: He moves around the halls of the crime lab like a ghost. If he succeeds in his attempt, he might even become one.
Disclaimer: As much as I want to, I don't own CSI: NY. –sigh-
Warning: Slash or the attempt to get Mac to notice Danny in new light.
A/N: Now, there's just way too much angst in Danny's life. I'm going to exploit it.
No one noticed, he realized, when he walked down the halls inside the crime lab. He knew that most of the people here heard the rumors and were avoiding him as much as he was avoiding them. No one wanted to associate themselves with the cop who shot down one of his own. They would only talk to him, case-wise, but even that was down to the minimum because Mac was giving him the 'shit' cases, as he had eloquently associated himself with. He had done enough to get himself transferred or fired but Mac was still keeping him here for reasons unknown. It's not like he didn't try to make things right again but with how people are, everything just took the turn where he was always wrong. He wanted to give up… Maybe he had given up since the day Mac had that disappointed look in his eyes. There was no way he was getting back into the man's good graces, less in his arms. The ones who were close to him were now just people who he worked with. Aiden tried to be friendly but there was a strain there because she has lots of friends in the lab alone. Stella had always kept her distance with him and he respected that. Now, the distance was just a mile further. And Mac… well, he had never worked a case with Mac alone since the shooting so he could say there was nothing there to start with. The only person he found that gave a damn about him was Flack but Flack wasn't around him to give that nudge of confidence all the time. He looked around the lab and sighed. It's time… With that, he turned away from the halls and quietly went up to Mac's office, knowing that the ex-marine wasn't there at the moment. He placed a letter on the desk before heading out.
Flack didn't know why he had that bad knot in his stomach. Something was nagging at him, telling him that something was wrong. His first thoughts were Danny. Since the day he found Danny all boozed up, he couldn't help but worry about him. No one knew about that day because he swore to Danny that he would never tell. It was a one-time thing… or so he said. Deciding that instincts were good on a time like this, he took out his cell phone and dialed Danny's number. There was ringing and he waited for Danny to answer. He got the voice mail instead. Frowning, Flack tried again and he got the same thing. He kept on doing it until it was his tenth or eleventh time to get the automated voice mail. He knew then that something was definitely wrong. Danny's work life revolved around taking calls so he could never switch his phone off. He walked over to his car and drove to Danny's.
No one answered the door, especially after his incessant pounding. His gut feeling was turning to something more, like snakes dancing inside his stomach. He called Aiden up to ask on whether Danny was at the lab or out in the field. Aiden hadn't seen him all day and she even confirmed it with Stella who was in the labs the whole time and Stella knew that Danny hadn't been on case since the shooting. It worried Flack to bits. Oh… this better be worth it. With that as a thought, Flack opened the door with a kick and reached for his gun for good measure. He checked out the living room.
"Danny?" he called out. "Danny, you in here?" His eyes swept around the kitchen and the dining area before heading into the bedroom. Nothing. The last door that was closed was the bathroom. He slowly pushed it open and the sight was something he never thought he would see. Danny's wrists were cut, blood dripping down into the water of the tub and another leaving a blood trail on the floor. Danny's blood. Breath caught in his throat, Falck almost stumbled back but his brain clicked automatically and told him to stop the bleeding. Grabbing two towels, he wrapped them both tightly around the slits on his wrists before he got Danny out of the bath. He covered Danny's naked body with a bathrobe he found hanging and took out his cell phone, dialing emergency. He told the operator his name and his police ID before telling her the situation. Despite the fact that he was sounding calm, Flack's panic was bursting inside.
He pushed past the people milling in the emergency room, reaching the nurses' station. Without thinking, he pulled out his badge and turned to the first nurse there.
"I'm Detective Mac Taylor. There was an officer brought in here, Detective Danny Messer?" The nurse looked at him before turning to her computer. Before she said anything, an elderly nurse came by. One he knew from popping by here too much on cases. Head Nurse Gladys looked at him.
"Detective Taylor," she said before turning to the young nurse, "I got this one, May." With that, she pulled him away and got him walking.
"He's stable and I thought it would be better if I dealt with this one personally," she said, "Detective Messer is stable but he had massive blood loss. If the other detective had called emergency two minutes later, you'd be having a crime scene." Mac looked puzzled as he brisk walked with the woman. All he knew from Flack was that Danny was at the hospital.
"Gladys, what are you talking about?" She stopped turning to him.
"Detective Taylor, I know he's in your charge and it will be hard news for you."
"What happened to Danny, Gladys?" he asked. Before the elderly woman could answer, Flack walked to them.
"Let me answer that." She looked at him before turning back to Mac.
"Well, all the better." The nurse walked away, leaving Mac with Flack.
"What happened to Danny?" he asked. Flack didn't say anything but he looked at Mac with unreadable eyes.
"He slit his wrists," Flack said, "Suicide attempt."
"Suicide?" Mac repeated in shock.
"He lost a lot of blood…"
"How could this happen?" Mac asked, more to himself rather than to Flack. The detective only gave Mac a look that said, 'You've got to be kidding.' But he stopped himself there. Mac doesn't know anything but it was time that Mac finally felt the blow he needed to have.
"Because Danny doesn't need the one person he respects, cares for and even love to give him that one look everyone has given him. That's you, Mac, if you still don't get it yet." Flack's tone only made Mac take a step back, slightly shocked by this.
"But you did. You didn't talk to him and ask him about the problems. You left him to hang and looks like he almost succeeded too," he said. The anguish of almost losing his friend poured inside him and the anger he had held back every time he looked at Mac being so cold towards Danny was showing through his eyes.
"My worse case scenario has come true, Mac, and Danny's going to wake up wishing he was dead because he knows that you're going to think he's trouble. If you do really think like that, I'm handing my badge and gun alongside his and taking him away from you because you obviously don't really care what's going through his head!"
"You are not taking Danny away! Not on my watch!" Mac shouted at Flack. "Because if you think running off with him would do him any good, you're wrong!"
"Well, tell me what's right?" Flack said, hardened eyes looking into Mac's. In the end, Mac was speechless. The answer, the blatant truth, was there but he couldn't say anything. Mac turned away from the detective and walked away.
He wanted to leave. He knew he had to sit down and think about it but the clock was ticking. Running away to the recluse of his office was definitely not the answer Flack was looking for and Mac knew it. He stopped and turned back. He could think on his feet. He was trained as a marine to do that. What's right? It was a simple question with a complex answer or answers. Be there for Danny when he needs it. I have to be the first person Danny wakes up to. That was one answer that sounded most logical… Then what? …And prone to lead to another question. I don't know. Mac didn't know the answer but he knew that the first step had to be taken. I'll think on my feet.
The sight of the white sterile room told him a lot of things but nothing seemed to register to his brain at the moment. He knew he shouldn't be here… or alive for that matter. With his eyes closed, he raised his hand, intending to place it on his face when it was caught by another hand. He forced his eyes open, turning to his side.
"Danny." Danny's eyes widened to who it was.
"What… What are you doing here?"
"Because I was worried about you." Danny knew he was being honest. The worry was obvious in his eyes. His other hand touched Danny's face. The warmth it brought was inviting to Danny. He had wanted this touch for years now.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, "I must have disappointed you."
"No, Danny. I'm the one who had done that. I'm the one who should beg for your forgiveness." A thumb brushed against his cheek.
"I need to know if we're going to be okay," Danny asked.
"We'll be more than that." It came out more as a whisper but every word was caught in Danny's ears.
"You don't know how long I've waited for that to come out from your mouth," Danny said, smiling a bit. The smile was infectious. "Are you planning on staying?"
"If that's what you need, Danny."
"Please, if you can."
"Then I will." That was definitely the answer they were both looking for.
He leaned against the wall, trying his best not to listen to the conversation. Despite the current events, he couldn't help smiling. Things worked out well, in the end.
"So how long are you planning to stay there, Flack?" He looked up to see Stella smirking at him.
"I didn't expect you here for another thirty minutes."
"Well, Aiden was driving and when you strung the words 'Danny', 'emergency' and 'hospital', she drove here like a bat out of hell."
"Where is she, anyway?" Flack asked, noticing that Aiden wasn't around.
"Wow, you must be in deep thought not to notice her zipping by." She pointed to Danny's room where Aiden was now shaking the living daylights out of one Danny Messer. Flack smirked at the look of the other man in the room. He was shocked to say the least. Stella caught his attention by waving a piece of paper at his face.
"So… Should I show Mac this first or you?" Grabbing it, Flack read its contents before turning to the room again.
"Mac… But after he leaves Danny's side."
"That's equivalent to never," Stella said. "But I'll slip it to him once Danny's asleep."
"Good," Flack said, though sounding a bit distant. Stella just tapped his shoulder.
"Hey, if you're worried about how they're going on about this, they will. You've done enough."
"Maybe so… But no one cares about cupid after the job's done," he said, keeping his voice low. Stella only watched Flack walk away before turning back to Mac prying Aiden off Danny. After all this and if things do work out like Flack wanted to, she had to play cupid for Flack. I know Danny's open about a three way relationship. Let's hope Mac's ready for it. With that, she stepped into the room.
End… Hopefully, for now.
Maybe I should write about this… Right?