Companion/sequel to "Frustration" & "Confusion"
By Deb aka ProfXgrrl
Rating: R for raw, emotions
Summary: Scott reflects on his jealousy of Logan
Disclaimers: They belong not to me. Don't sue, because you won't get much.
Archive: yes, at X-grrls
Feedback: sure thing
Did you ever find yourself wishing you could have something that belonged to someone else? Perhaps have a talent this other person possessed, or maybe look like them? Or maybe just maybe you wished you could be that some one else?
To be honest, that's happened to me a lot, usually when I find myself painful reminded that I'm not like "normal" people.
But that's not what I'm referring to this time.
I'm referring to the feeling I get when I see her staring at him with those beautiful eyes of hers.
She only does it when she thinks no one is looking, not even him. She watches his every move from beneath half-veiled eyelids. Stalking him with her eyes. She doesn't think I notice, and I try not to let on. Even now, it takes a degree of strength I never knew I had to shield my thoughts to keep her fro knowing that I wish I were the man her eyes pursued.
I envy him.
Me. Envious of him.
It hurts me to admit that much, even to myself. But it's true.
I caught her looking at him earlier
It was a look of unbridled desire, and I wanted so much to be the one receiving that look. I wanted to be the one to look over, meet her gaze, and feel the passion of it on my skin.
I wanted to be him.
Which is silly of me, really. She hasn't been unfaithful to me, and I know I can trust her not to jeopardize our love for some silly fling with a fuzz ball like him.
But that's one that's one small consolation for me while she's still giving him that look.