Disclaimer: I don't own anything…
Summary: I miss one big thing about him… he is dancing with her… he is in love with her. Raven finds it very difficult to handle her feelings for her long-time friend Richard. Who would help her? Raven x Flash, some RobStar and eventually RobRaeFlash .
Balisong (by Rivermaya)
You mesmerize me with diamond eyes
I try to fool myself to think I'll be alright
But I am losing all control
My mind, my heart, my body and my soul
To speak or not to, where to begin
The great dilemmas I'm finding myself in
For all I know you only see me as a friend
I try to tell myself 'wake up fool.'
' This fairy tale's got to end'
Never in my life have I been more sure
So come on up to me and close the door
Nobody's made me feel this way before
You're everything I wanted and… more.
Chapter 11: Balisong :In Wally's P.O.V.:
"You guys sure are quiet," Ms. Guidance Counselor person says lightly after a ten-minute staring session… but her comment doesn't stop me from continuing the said session.
… I don't feel like speaking.
"Anyone here who wants to tell a story?" She looks at me and Richard as she coaxes. It doesn't work on any of us.
… I don't feel like speaking.
"Any stories, Wally?" She turns to me gently. I just shake my head 'no' as I sigh.
I don't feel like speaking.
"You know, you guys are acting funny… yes, since Monday. What's wrong?" She keeps on asking… her tone almost bordering desperation. I don't see the point of it. Richard and I aren't doing or causing any trouble anymore… why is she still calling us to her office? Why can't she just let us go?
… I just want to go home. I feel so uncomfortable.
… I have been feeling uncomfortable since last week.
I don't know what's the matter with Richard though; he usually has a lot of twisted stories to tell… but he's been clamming up since last week too.
… not that I care about him.
"So how's Raven?" I turn to the counselor as she uses a different strategy to get us talking.
I stare at nothing. The sound of her name is enough to tie my stomach into tight tangled knots. I can't bear the feeling…
I don't answer.
So the lady continues, "She isn't attending any of her classes, and I was just wondering," she desperately tries.
I decide to answer her when I feel Richard's curious gaze on me, "It's not like we still have to anyway… we're already graduating…" it comes out only as a murmur but it relieves the counselor out of tension.
It doesn't do the same to Richard, though.
"So you don't know what's happening to her… that's quite a surprise," he says it in a slightly bitter tone… I don't know what he means by that comment but his voice is enough to make my ears go red.
"What, like you know what's happening to her," I spat, feeling hostile for no reason, "You don't even care."
His eyebrows raise at my comment, "You're not going to start an argument about that again, are you?" the words embarrass me to silence.
"… I do care about her," he continues and waits for me to reply.
I do what he wants me to do, but, for no reason; I keep the hostility of my voice, "You sure don't act like you do," the counselor in front of us is now listening intently as if we're some kind of dramatic soap opera.
Heh. I wonder why she doesn't get used to my conversations with Richard.
Whatever… dramatic soap opera or not; Richard's answer is dramatic enough to be in one, "Wally," he calls me by my first name and my ears perk… There is a first time for everything. "I care for Raven… but you can't just let me put her in the center of my life," I see his efforts in keeping a civil conversation.
I restrain my annoyance because of it, "I'm not asking you that," she's already the center of mine; there's no need for you to put her in yours, "All I'm asking is for you to stop being so selfish and so… jerk…y" I say the sentence directly even with its poor construction.
He seems to let my words sink in, "I have problems of my own… I can't comprehend on the things you tell me, I have to deal with my own demons, I-"
"The tell us what your problems are, Richard. We might be able to help," I feel thankful for the counselor for asking that as I want to ask him the same thing. Of course I wouldn't offer him help, but I'm still curious.
"Maybe if you get to solve your personal problems, it'll give you a headstart on solving your problems concerning others," I look at Richard as the lady continues.
Richard sighs before he replies, "It's hard… my mind is topsy-turvied… I can't-"
"Then organize your thoughts," I cut him off, not wanting more drama from him.
And for a minute there; I thought he was clamming up…
He glares at me, "It is hard to determine and clarify thoughts, just to let you know."
I keep quiet for a while to lament on his answer. It's a lie.
"You're wrong, Richard," his reaction says that hearing his first name from my lips is alien to him, "It's not hard. You just have to start… and once you do, just accept the harsh reality of the truth."
Silence; my words seems to shock them.
I sigh as I feel the tension again… and Ms. Guidance Counselor isn't helping one bit in subsiding them.
Hell, first we weren't talking, then all of the sudden we're having a dramatic conversation.
… and now we're not talking again.
I already feel uncomfortable; I don't need this.
"Excuse me now," I say as I stand up, "I have to go… I still need to find a dance partner for tomorrow…" I sigh as I make my way to the door.
Richard's sudden voice stops me, "Wait… I thought you were going with Raven?" There is an obvious curiosity in his voice.
There go the knots in my stomach again.
I just shrug, "I don't know…"
'Raven, you're still my date for the dance this Saturday, right?'
Wally had sent the message to Raven Roth last Sunday at 4:15 in the afternoon.
It was already Wednesday at five o'clock in the afternoon and still no reply from the said girl.
Not only that; Raven Roth wasn't also attending her classes, nor was she going out of her house… she didn't communicate with anyone else other than Terra, Garfield's girlfriend. He, along with Victor and Gar, had asked Terra a million times what Raven was telling her, but she kept on answering the same thing: That Raven was just asking to submit some of her requirements in school.
It broke the redhead's heart.
Over the months of being with Raven; he had been more satisfied with his life. Raven paid 'real' attention to him. She never acted as if he annoyed her. She made him see that he wasn't plain Wally who lacked the complexity of a human being… he was Wally; living, thinking, feeling, brooding, loving… he was deeper… more colorful.
He ached for Raven because of it.
What made his aching worse was the knowledge why Raven was avoiding social contact.
… The reason was him. Wally West.
He blamed himself for blabbering… for opening his stupid mouth. Everything was going on well. Raven was fond of him, he had her as a date for the 'Mid-Spring' dance and everyone was alright about it. But then he opened his goddamned mouth and ruined everything.
He didn't want to make Raven feel bad; he didn't want to make their relationship awkward.
… He wished that he knew what was going on inside Raven's head… then he would be able to help her clear it… just to make her talk to him again. What were her issues? Was she blaming herself for whatever reason? He would take the blame. Was she feeling disloyal to Richard? He'd comfort her. Did she suddenly find him icky? He'd find a way to resolve that.
…Could she only love or like him as a friend?
… He'd deal with it.
But he would still hope…
Wally stretched, feeling tired from all the thinking. Standing up, he peered at their window and stared directly at the manor in front of him… the Roth manor.
He wished to see Raven… even just a shadow of the girl would be fine.
Yes… what a sad, sad disposition he was in.
His mother noticed this.
"Baby, if you want to see her so bad, go talk to her," Mrs. West said from behind her son.
Wally paid no attention to what his mother said, but he cringed, "Mom, don't call me baby!" He whined all the while gazing through their window.
Mrs. West smiled gently, "You know, Arella Roth often notices you watching their house."
As if in his 'selective hearing' mode; Wally listened to his mother that time, "Really? Does she say anything about Raven?" His eyes widened.
His mother shook her head, "No, but if you want to know what's happening to her so bad, go and visit her," she said, but her son was too busy staring at the Roth manor to listen.
Sighing, she turned and left.
"Teenage love angst these days…"
Jinx, short for Jasmine Onyx.
Yeah, we used to date… for about two months or so, I guess.
She's pretty… and quite unusual; who would miss that pink-dyed hair? Heh, that's what caught my attention. She's also talented; she's a ballerina… I guess attractive and artistically talented girls are my type, heh.
Yeah, I asked her out when we were freshmen… surprisingly, she accepted my offer and we did go out. Eh… she was nice, graceful and exotic… she was wonderful until she started having these 'I-hate-you' moods whenever I was around. She seemed to be really annoyed with me after a month of going out… it was like she wanted to claw me to death whenever I was near.
Well… she did almost claw me to death when we broke up… that was after I dropped her friggin' ballerina shoes on the muddy school grounds.
Anyway… why am I suddenly reminiscing events about her?
Because I'm asking her to the dance.
Because no one else wants to go with me… Raven isn't replying to any of my messages… and I just really want to go to the dance.
My subconscious keeps on telling me that if I go with someone else to the dance; Raven will get jealous which will lead her to the discovery of her love for me… then we'll go out and live happily ever after.
I know… it's stupid, but I'm desperate here.
"What are you looking at?" Jinx catches me watching her and she crosses her arms as she looks at me cattily.
Woah…I still annoy her.
I grin innocently, "Yo!"
My grin starts to falter at her behavior, "Just came by to ask you… uuhhh… do you have a date for the 'Mid-Spring' dance?"
She looks at me, "No."
Man, I hate conversations like this.
I still try to smile as I fake a surprised look, "Really? Oh man! What a coincidence! I don't have a date too… wanna-go-together?" I end my mediocre acting quickly… you know, to avoid humiliation.
My attempt to avoid it is unsuccessful.
"Never!" She snorts heartily as she rejects me, "Never!" She repeats.
This annoys me.
"Tch. Fine," I pout and scratch my head as I turn to leave… but then she asks a question.
"Whatever happened between you and Raven?" her curiosity is genuine, "I thought that you guys were going together… erm… I heard." She puts her hands on her hips as she waits for an answer.
I blink, "Raven? Oh… err… I don't kno-"
She suddenly snorts at my lame answer, "What did you do this time?" She seems to see right through me… it's offending.
I frown, "What do you mean by that!" I feel our conversation grow hostile.
"Well," she starts, smirking, "You have the tendency to deliberately annoy girls without knowing…"
"Oh, and Raven isn't attending her classes; I observed… oooh, you must've annoyed her big time," she taunts… teases while unknowingly hitting a sore spot.
I pout, "I didn't annoy her! Raven likes me very much!" I defend myself, "And… I really like Raven and I can't do anything that will upset her in such a wa-"
"Then why are you asking me instead of her to the dance?" She grins as she makes a point… as she feels her victory, "You said something and now she's not talking to you, am I right?" She smiles knowingly.
I have always hated it when she's right.
Man… relationship déjà vu.
No use of lying to her now…
"I just want her to talk to me," I give in, "I figured that if she gets jealous… she might realize that she lovesme…" I feel embarrassed as I reveal my real intentions.
Jinx snorts at this, "Cute," she says it sarcastically, but her frame softens at my words.
"So will you go with me, then?" I ask again… I actually don't know why.
Jinx laughs, "No, you lame asshole! But wait…" she says and turns to walk to a bag lying just beside us; I figure that it's hers. She pulls a small book from it before she goes back to me.
"Here," she hands me the book.
"The Bacchae?" I read the title, "So, is this the answer to my problems? Should I-"
"Idiotic asshole," she lightly slaps me, "Raven's borrowing that book from me. Give her that… tell her I sent you."
Silence. I stare at the book happily.
"Thanks Jasmine Onyx! You're the best!"
She gives me the nicest smile that she has ever given me. Creepy.
… But all is good.
Author's Note: Oh my… I have made a big mistake… so big that I believe it has offended my beta-reader. Oh, I never meant to mess the last chapter up. I have e-mailed you about the mistake, but you still seem offended. If ever that the mistake has offended you deliberately, I am so sorry. I pray to God that you would be able to understand.
Err… yes. This chapter is unbeta-d… so was the last chapter… err, it's just some mistake that I made by not explaining things to my cousin… err…
Err… there is a chance that I might take this fic down if this story doesn't go well from here.
On the happier side of life… hey, you see how deep Wally's affection for Raven is now. And the song Balisong is by Rivermaya. Great group, different from most of the bands today… I mean, most of them just shout and scream.
Oh yeah, Jasmine Onyx is Jinx's real name in a number of fanfics by Tabris MacBeth... her RavenJinx fics rock my world, you should read it.
To my wonderful reviewers:
Chica De Los Ojos Café: Thank you for wishing me well, you are so sweet. I will be working on our fic as soon as possible, hehe. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. More RaeWally will be coming up, just for you.
AlyRaven: LOL! I'm not rushing you… err… but please do update soon, hehe. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. BTW, have you already added me into your AIM list?
Elven Dragon Rider: Hello! I must tell you; I received no rainbow-y goodness in my mail… :cries: how cruel… hehe, I hope that you liked this chapter!
they are ghouls: Thank you so much for the compliment; I feel so happy. And no need to feel sorry for me; I'm already healthy! Although I lost 6 pounds… errr… YAY!
Tecna: TECNA! YAY! I hope that you liked this chapter as well… I found it quite nice to make Wally's affections more mature and errr… yeah. Hey, when are you updating your fics?
lunafan: I feel awesome, thank you for wishing me well! I hope you liked this Wally-chapter, hehe. Yes… I am also aching for some RaeWally reading… but since I can't find any… I decided to write my own and just continue this story.
Teen Titans Obsessor: Thank you so much for another great review! To tell you the truth; I didn't really like the last chapter, but I'm glad that you liked it, hehe.
otakualways: LOL! Thank you for reviewing! I'll try to incorporate more highschool drama here, if this story still goes well.
Neilie: I have read your Vday special KFJinx fic, great writing! Have I reviewed that story? If not, please remind me to do so. Thank you for the suggestion… I like Jade Nguyen, so I might add her if I'm continuing this story. Hmmm… Linda; I don't really have any idea on what Linda is like, that's why I'm hesitant about using her.
Violetx3: Hi! Your PM really got me desperate to update this story… that's why I pestered my cousin into doing it, hehe. I'm better now, so I'm seeing how this story goes. About Richard flinging himself out a window… I'll think about it… it might be a good source of more drama, hehe. I hope you enjoyed Wally's thoughts.
You'reJustJealousCozISoundLikeARockstar: Update soon or else… I'll write a GarthRoy lemon. Will Roy be your bitchlover or will he be Jade Nguyen's… hmmm… let's make America decide! VOTE NOW! Errr… I don't know where the hell that came from. Hey, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
HauntedWhisper714: LOL! Your review is so cute, hehe. I hope you enjoyed the Wally-ness of this chapter! Hey, what do you think of Wally and Richard now? I believe that they would make a nice odd-couple… don't you think so? Err…
Kill-All-Flamers: Hello! Thank you so much for reviewing! Yay! Another RaeWally fan:celebrates: I hope you enjoyed this chapter of highschool drama, hehe. As for Garfield being ignored; I just intended him to be quite oblivious for a reason. Hehe.
FiliaofMortis: :hugs Filia: You're so sweet! I felt a LOT better when I read your review… thank you so much:hugs Filia again: As for the story; I'm still checking on how it goes, hehe. But I find myself more pleased with how I write Wally's relationship with Raven… as well as Richard's affections for… people, hehe. Again, thank you so much for the wonderful review :kisses Filia's injured wrist:
Niol: Woah! Thanks man! Hey, what happened to your other fics? Why aren't you updating them?
dragonqueen320: Woah, thank you so much for reviewing… and to answer your numerous questions; you just have to wait and see, hehe.
Delirium24: Thank you! I hope that you liked this one too!
Mad Mauser: Hello! I'm glad that you're back! Yes! I would love to hear BBRae plots from you! I love Gar/Rae in the comics, hehe… so I might write one based on the comics as I'm not a fan of the animated BBRae-ness. Hehe.
Asinine11: Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate it! And thank you for wishing me well. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, hehe.
DITZY: OOBER SWISH! Hehe, I'm starting to like that word too! Here's an update! I hope that you liked it! Errr… despite the suckiness of my grammar here… errr…. I kinda liked Wally's emotions.
kosumi: Thank you for wishing me well and also for assuring that you still read this fanfic! Here is an update with enough Wally-ness to please you! I want to know what you think of him now, hehe! As for the triangle… if the story still goes well, then the triangle is coming up soon.
Maria: Is that your real name? I like it… I like the name Maria, hehe. I hope you liked the KFJinx interaction here… I believe that they'd make a cute couple… Oh yeah, I believe that you'd also like Neilie's KFJinx fic… it's really good.
pinkprincess: I'm all better now! Thank you for another wonderful review, hehe. Here's a chapter with more Wally in it, I hope that you enjoyed it.
TreeMan: Thank you so much for reviewing! You gave such a wonderful explanation concerning Raven's feelings, hehe. I couldn't have explained it more clearly… again, thank you for reviewing!
Platina: Here's more Wally-ness! I do hope that you enjoyed it! I'm working on the RaeWally scenes, don't worry! Thank you for reviewing!
Ana: Wow, what an awesome review, thank you so much! Does that mean that you also like RaeWally now? I am so flattered that my fic has helped you consider other pairings… thank you so much! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter!
Ubeta-d preview of Chapter 12
"Do you want me to do all your requirements? Wash you clothes? Cook your meals?" She continues, "Do you want my slavery? My devotion? Anything…" she finishes as she bows her head… again.
She starts to pull her hand away, but I tighten my grip on them. My instincts lead me to embrace her… to press her body against mine.
I comprehend on the random things that she has said…
Please read and review!