It's random stupidity! If you get injured while reading this fic, it's not my fault! I don't own Slayers either.


The scenery was hellish- the setting of a horrifying nightmare, even worse than one of Zelgadis's Rezo Dreams. He stood on a cliff, overlooking an obstacle course that was the Pride and Joy of some army drill sergeant somewhere out in the universe.

Amelia hung from the end of a rope, swinging slowly like a pendulum over a pool of rabid piranhas, centipedes slowly munching on the rope she hung from. He didn't know centipedes ate rope. She was clad only in what looked like three band-aids and a scarf. He couldn't quite tell from this distance. On the other hand, he was glad because Gourry was standing beside him.

The chimera gave a heartfelt sigh and lifted a hand to his forehead. "This is another Random Fanfic, isn't it?"

"Huh?" The blonde swordsman stared, looking towards Zel with a wide-eyed blank expression, his long blonde hair done up into two Princess Leia buns on the sides of his head.

Zelgadis couldn't help the twitch of his eye as he turned to answer Gourry. If the sheer stupidity of the swordsman's expression wasn't enough, the fact that he was wearing a pink frilly dress and had failed to notice was the clincher. But who was Zelgadis to point out the obvious? "I suppose I'm going to have to bust my ass saving Amelia for the amusement of readers... again."

"Hey Zelgadis, why are you wearing a dress?" Gourry interrupted the chimera's thoughts.

Looking down at himself, Zelgadis shivered, "This MUST be a fanfic."

Abruptly, Amelia lifted her head, looked around- looked up, then down, then back up again and shrieked at the top of her lungs. "HELP!" In panic she began flailing and kicking, trying to swing towards the edge of the pool. All she did was knock several large centipedes onto her head, "BUG! BUG! EEEEK!"

"Great, she's awake. This will only make it more embarrassing," Zelgadis surmised, scowling.

Yet before he could start forward, Gourry pointed straight at Amelia and stated, "Hey! Why's Lina hanging like that! Is it her Time of the Month again? Woah... I can see her downstairs..."

A sweat drop made its way down Zelgadis's head, slowly he took a breath and sighed. "Things just aren't what they seem. I... hate fanfics."