Title: Conquer Your Fears For Love
Author: AbbyGibbs Stephjag or Well, I do not own them and that is pretty unfair – they again belong to DPB! Why does he always have to own the best shows and the best characters? Could someone explain that to me? His characters are always suffering too much. So I have decided to borrow them for a little while, the length of a story, but I promise to give them back though I really wish I could keep them for myself.
Classification: Abby /Gibbs stuff. Romance.
Rating: T (+13 as always to be on the safe side, isn't it?)
Spoilers: "Bête noire"
Summery: After the shooting scene in the morgue – Abby still has fears because of her nightmare, but the need to see Gibbs is stronger. Will she be able to conquer her fears for something more precious?
Author's note: This is a post-episode story for "Bete Noire," Well, I guess I won't change anymore, I really love Abby and Gibbs and the way they act around each other as well as the way they care for one another. I loved how Gibbs tried to soothe her when she blaming herself for the fact that she'd feared to go down to the morgue, and there was one thing that Tony said to his boss that I loved, so I came up with some idea and thought I had to write it down. I changed a few things, though. Here it goes then. Enjoy!
Many many thanks to those who've read the first part of the story and were kind enough to leave me feedbacks.
Beth, thank you so so much for your support in everything I write and for your help with each one of my stories. You're such a great friend and I'm blessed to know you.
Feedbacks: well, I'd love them, of course – who wouldn't? But please, only if you respect my work because it takes a lot of time and energy to get a story together. I love writing; I wouldn't allow anyone to discourage me from doing so, never. I don't have any problems at all with readers who choose not to go for this, but I decidedly do with those who write disrespectful mails just because they didn't get the ending they would have wanted. If you want to tell me what I might have done better within the story I made up, you're always very welcome to let me know. But if your only concern is to rant about it, then please, do it in private, okay? Thank you.
I need to get down there. I need to go to the morgue; I have to know how he is doing! Abby Sciuto babbled out loud.
She was pacing furiously, fumbling with her hand, debating once more with her fears wanting to go down there and at the same time fearing it because of that stupid nightmare she'd had a month ago.
Oh, Abbs, you're pathetic – you can handle death, human bodies, viruses, and a lot of other stuff, and you are paralyzed by one nightmare, she tried to reason.
Abby took a deep breath and took a few large steps to get to the elevator doors. "Wait! I need to get down." Once in the elevator, Abby could stop herself from shaking. She was afraid; pictures of her nightmare flashed through her mind.
She could see her body laying on one of the cold gray work table in Ducky's morgue. She was sliced open and her eyes were still open as well, but she could see that all life was gone. Her eyes were glazed. Abby could also see all her organs exposed. The sight made her break into a cold sweat. She tried shaking all those horrible pictures out of her head, only to find out she couldn't do it, though she managed to focus herself on Gibbs – the good times they'd spent together at work.
Abby tried to breathe calmly while focusing on some point on front of her. She desperately needed to see Gibbs; she needed to know that he was fine. She knew she was feeling something for him. The problem was, she couldn't really define what kind of feelings they were, or to be exact she wasn't ready to allow these feelings to come free just yet.
Those feelings scared her. Gibbs wasn't just her boss and friend anymore. Gibbs meant more to her; that was obvious. This sudden realization made a smile shine on Abby's lips, but then the smile quickly disappeared. Now, she knew what she was feeling, but what if she decided to tell him and made a complete fool of herself? She decided she would ignore the feelings for a while, but that seemed to be near to impossible.
Oh, Abbs, stop it! You are an idiot. Like you're going to be able to ignore them. Who are you really trying to fool, yourself? Well, let me tell you that it's not really working. You are damn well afraid to do down there, but you've managed to pull yourself together and ignore your fears, momentarily at least, to go see how Gibbs is doing – this definitely means something, girl! Abby thought to herself.
The elevator doors finally opened, and she practically rushed through the doors and as fast as she could ran to the morgue. She stopped dead as her caught sight of Gibbs. It was easy to make out that he'd been hurt. Tony and some medic were with him. He was holding an oxygen mask that was covering his mouth and nose.
He suddenly seemed so vulnerable and her heart sank as his eyes locked with hers. Tony hadn't caught sight of her yet and was trying to convince Gibbs to stay still, but his boss had clearly decided to get up.
"Boss, can't you just stay still for once?" Tony DiNozzo sighed heavily.
It was then that the younger agent saw his friend and he had to smile. A small smile appeared on Abby's lips, and she slowly approached them. She suddenly looked like a little girl, Tony thought to himself. She was the reason why Gibbs wanted to get up so stubbornly. Tony knew it for sure. Those two had always shared something pretty curious. There was clearly a bond between them.
"Hmm, now I see why you wanted so badly to sit instead of staying down," Tony said with a smirk.
Gibbs shot him a glaring look, but his look softened as Abby smiled. "What? Isn't Tony right?" she asked half sheepishly, half mischievously.
Gibbs took off his oxygen mask and couldn't help smiling. Then he did something that took her completely by surprise. He let go of the mask and handed it to Tony, who was standing between the two of them. Tony looked worriedly at his boss. "It's okay, DiNozzo, I'm fine. I can breathe."
Tony looked at him in disbelief and frowned. "If you say so, boss."
Gibbs looked at Abby intently, and for a moment, she felt herself getting lost in his piercing blue eyes. Then he started to use sign language to say something very slowly: "Yes, you are." He smiled.
Abby just smiled and Tony signed heavily. "Oh, no, you two are doing it again!"
They both turned simultaneously to face Tony. "What?" they both said.
Tony made a face and sighed once more. "I… I'm going to take a look at Ducky and Kate, see how they're doing," he told them as all the response team started to leave the morgue. He headed for the exit doors, but before walking through the doors he turned around and said, "If you need any help to get out of here, just yell, okay?"
Looking at them, he smiled; he had this bizarre impression that neither of them had heard one single word of what he'd just said. He turned on his heel and left them alone… though he couldn't really leave them alone since they already were alone – in another world.
They looked at the entrance of the morgue to be sure Tony had left for real, and soon Abby collapsed into Gibbs's arms and started to cry.
Gibbs put his arms around her and softly stroked her hair. "Hey, Abbs, I'm fine. I'm okay. Everything's going to be fine. I promise," he whispered.
"Oh, Gibbs, I was so scared," she choked out against his chest.
"I know you were, Abbs, but everything is fine now."
"No, it's not! Gibbs, you didn't get that god damn terrorist! He still can come back to get you," she argued, looking up at him. His eyes were extremely sad and glassy.
Abby immediately regretted saying the words out loud. "I'm sorry, it's… it's just that I'm mad at myself. If I hadn't had that nightmare…" her voice trailed off.
"If you hadn't that nightmare of yours, you would have been in Kate's place, and would have gone completely crazy, Abby…" The last words of his phrase were barely audible, and she thought he had trouble breathing again.
She was instantly worried. "Are you sure you're okay?"
He smiled and said, "I'm better than okay, because you are in my arms."
She smiled, looking straight in his penetrating blue eyes, searching an explanation for what he'd just said. "Gibbs?"
"Yeah, Abbs?" He said, softly, kissing her hair.
"I need to tell you something…" she started. Then she looked down just a few seconds. Gibbs placed a gentle finger under her chin and lifted her face up so their eyes met again.
"Abbs, you can tell me anything. You know that, don't you?" he asked her softly.
"Yeah, I know that, Gibbs, and if I was in any trouble, you would the one I would come to. There is no one I trust on earth like I trust you…" Her voice cracked ever so slightly. Taking a few deep breaths, she forced herself to continue.
"And as it is, I am in trouble, Gibbs, with what I feel for somebody in particular. Actually, I started to feel this amazing way for him a while ago, but I've tried to deny it – unsuccessfully, though. First I thought that it was only friendship like it had always been in the past, but the feelings had clearly changed…" She trailed off, interrupted by Gibbs.
"What kind of feelings are they?" Gibbs asked, looking at her intently.
"Love," murmured, looking down to avoid his eyes.
"Abbs, look at me," he demanded softly but firmly.
And she did Her heart was racing at first, and when she looked up at him again, her heart skipped at beat. Abby felt herself being drawn into her boss's icy blue eyes.
Gibbs's voice seemed suddenly distant. She sensed that he was talking to him, but she couldn't make out what he was telling so she forced herself to blink.
Gibbs was smiling at her – that breathtaking smile of his. "You should smile more often, Gibbs. You look so much younger then. Not that I think you are old, of course," she remarked, smiling.
"Thanks, I'll try to keep that in mind. So tell me, my favorite lab tech, why aren't you telling this guy that you are in love with that you actually love him?"
"Because I'm scared…" she admitted sheepishly.
"You, Abby, are actually scared of something? No way!" He said, mockingly.
She slammed his chest softly with one of her hand. "What? Because I'm a goth means I can't be afraid of anything?" she asked, chuckling a little.
"I ain't sayin' nothing." he said, laughing, holding his hands up in the air.
"Oh, come on! Gibbs, stop it!" She ordered, laughing as well.
After they calmed down, Gibbs asked her his question again. "Why aren't you telling this guy that you are in love with that you actually love him?"
Abby took a deep breath and told him, "Because he's my best friend. He's always been there for me. And he's a lot older than I am, though he has a young spirit, and because I'm scared he doesn't share the same feelings for me, and my boss told us about a certain rule number twelve…"
Gibbs smiled softly, leaning forward a little so he could whisper in her ear. "Rules are meant to be broken, Abbs…"
Abby shivered slightly at the sound of his voice.
She added one more detail to her explanation "Oh, yeah, he likes redheads and I'm not exactly what you can call a redhead."
"Yeah, but he divorced three redheads, so maybe changing would be a good thing." He smiled mischievously.
"Yeah, that's a good point," she smiled brightly.
He leaned forward and captured her lips. She instantly responded to the kiss. They parted only when they both were in need of air.
"Wow," they said in unison, resting their foreheads together and smiling.
"It seems to me like someone managed to conquer her fears for love," Gibbs said softly.
"Yes, thanks to you," she murmured against his lips before kissing him again. The kiss matched the first one in intensity. And again they needed to part for air.
"DiNozzo, you tell anyone about this, I'm gonna kick your ass!" Gibbs barked at his younger agent.