ZOMG ANOTHER BONUS CHAPTER!11one!
So, you thought it was over just because I said so? WRONG! We never did find out how the cameraman got his job, as he appears randomly, so this is the story of how our beloved moron came to be the accomplished cameraman he is today!
And if you remember correctly, the Master Hand is the announcer, so he will be referred to as both. I'm only adding that because this is coming after the end, although it takes place in between chapters 11 and 12.
The announcer sighed as he tidied up the office to prepare for camera crew interviews. His dream was to tape all of the Smashers being insulted and sell it online. With the money, he would create an empire of penguins and unicorns in order to take over the universe…
In the middle of Master Hand's fantasy, some knocked on the door.
Giga Bowser stomped in, his huge body crushing through the door. He tried to sit in a chair next to the Master Hand, but predictably he broke it.
"So…" the Master Hand paused in fear. "What makes you think you would be good for the position of the cameraman?"
Giga Bowser roared, allowing the pungent odor of egg salad to waft through the air. Luckily, the Master Hand had no nose, but unluckily he still sensed it. He grimaced.
"You'd do nothing more than scare them away with your size and breath! And I'm getting my attorney to make sure you pay for the door and my chair! NEXT!" the announcer screamed, throwing a bottle of Listerine at Giga Bowser as he exited.
Next was a female wire frame. She sat down in a chair, strangely the same one as Giga Bowser, which meant either a plot hole or magic. Wowz.
"So, what skills or qualities make you suitable for this job?"
The wire frame stared…except she had no eyes, thus this was impossible. So ultimately she sat there with a blank expression on her face. But she has no face…
The Master Hand sighed and shoved the wire frame out since she didn't move. The wire frame left, shaking her fist vengefully.
And so, the cycle of asking questions and forcing hopefuls out continued, for 50 hours, to be exact. It's not like hands have to stop to eat or sleep or anything similar, at least that's what everyone thinks…
Just as the Master Hand was ready to give up, a cheery man with a Donkey Kong cap walked in, reciting the verses of the DK rap to himself.
The announcer was skeptical, but he decided that this fool was his one last hope.
"So…what makes you suitable…for the job?"
"I'd like the banana cream pancakes with extra whipped cream," the man said, obviously hallucinating that he was at IHOP.
"Stupidity makes him suitable," the announcer mumbled, scribbling optimistically on his clipboard.
"Sir, do you by chance know how to operate a camera?"
The word 'camera' snapped the man out of his trance. "Of course I do! I mean, I have to in order to take pictures for my beloved shrine."
"What?" asked the announcer.
"So, what is your name?"
"My name is-"
At this time, Master Hand's computer blares, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
"Hold that thought."
Of course, this was impossible as well, as the man never did think. And if he did, the thought flew out of his head faster than Pichu ran over burning coal on the 4th of July.
"Dear random person who is reading this message,
Beep beep bop boop beep beep! Beep beep bep bip bap beep. Screech squawk moo cluckity cluck cluck cockily doodle doo. BEEP!
Mr. Game and Watch, who has no life"
"Oh," the Master Hand said flatly. "How desperate is that 2-d figure for attention anyway?"
"So, do I get a prize or something?" the cameraman asked impatiently.
"No, but you do get the job as my cameraman. I guess that will be your nickname too."
"YAY ME!" the cameraman shouted, imagining how much easier it would be to actually pay for DK merchandise than steal it.
And now you all know that the cameraman got his job by accident…
So NOW the story is over…or at least it has a missing piece.
Now you can go wonder if I'll make an SSBB edition. Or make a shrine dedicated to your favorite Smasher like the cameraman (whose name remains a mystery still).