When Kikyo Attacks…Dun Dun Dun…
A/N: Totally redoing most of the chapters ahead. I started to read them and then realized how horrible they were XD I can't believe people actually liked it. Seriously.
Warning: Kikyou is going to be OOC. Kikyou is one of my favorite characters so this is not a bashing story about her. It's all for the good of humor. And over exaggerating… .
Kikyo was behind a bush, as she watched Kagome and Inuyasha go down the road, hand in hand. Jealousy rose among Kikyou.
Instead of her normal, calm self that she usually had while watching their love grow, she started to turn into an insane psychopathic freak. Just like Mr. Hyde turning into Dr. Jekel…
"Mwhaha! Now to get rid of Inuyasha. MWHAHAHA!" Kikyou whispered that almost ended in a squeak near the end, suprised. She never knew that her usually monotone voice could sound so…evil. She shuddered, deciding she liked it.
Something bristled next to her. Knowing already who it was, she grabbed the tail that appeared before her. There, one of her many soul collectors, squealing to be let free. .
"What are you doing here? Never mind. Just get out of my way you…dead ghostish figurely beast!" She couldn't even name it in this state. She was too busy plotting world destru—okay, so she was plotting revenge. But couldn't that be world domination? She zapped the soul collector, not really knowing where she zapped it to, but didn't really care.
No soul collector could come in between her evil plan!0123456789
Kagome and Inuyasha were walking down the little path, quietly. It wasn't really like them to be quiet, what with them both having gigantic mouths. Suddenly, Kagome jerked to a hault, making Inuyasha –that was walking at a very steady pace- nearly tripped.
"I bet you did that on--" Inuyasha started.
"I sense the sacred jewel shard," said Kagome as though she did not need any other reason. Which, for Inuyasha, explained everything and was willing to forgive her. Somehow.
"Really? LET'S GO THEN!" exclaimed Inuyasha. Kagome pointed north and marched onwards. Inuyasha started to follow, when he heard a voice…
"Inuyasha…Inuyasha…" the voice called.
"Oh my demon lord! The bush is talking!" He placed his hands on his head, as though he had a headache. There must have been a logical explanation.
"Maybe it is just my imagination. Maybe it's the bad meat Kagome's been giving me," he assured himself. So, he ignored the voice behind the bushes and headed off after Kagome, who, being the dimwit she could be at times, was oblivious that he even stopped at all.
The voice refused to let Inuyasha go, so it spoke again.
"Don't go you twat! It's me, your conscience…we haven't talked in a long time. I'll admit, I thought you had a good head on ya' shoulders when I left ya', but I was totally wrong. I mean look at you!" hissed the voice. This voice was quick on its feet.
Instead of finding the fact that the voice said he was ugly, he simply didn't say anything for awhile. Finally he spoke.
"Since when do demons a conscience…?"
"You're half-demon. You still have human conscience's!" the voice replied.
Inuyasha rubbed his hands together, pleased.
"Kagome told me a lot about consciences. But let's begin," he started, as the voice was a little bit confused.
"Okay, my first wish is to be ruler of all demons. I don't care what cha' do to get me there, just get me there. My second wish is to have…ten more wishes. And my final one is—"
"What? Since when do consciences ever…grant wishes?"
Inuyasah put his hands on his hips and rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. At this, the voice couldn't conjure what it was doing wrong.
"Dumb-ass, you don't even know what you do for a living!" he sneered.
-.- was the the voice's reply, although you couldn't see it.
"What an idiot…" it thought to itself.
"No idiot, that's a genie. Consciences are basically your inner self. You know, when you kill…ok wrong scenario for you…when you steal that voice that tells you to stop is your conscience!" the voice was tired of talking to the idiot.
"You can't be me…first off, you don't sound like me. You don't even sound as cool as me. You obviously aren't me. I have a sexy voice. You have a…well whatever. And if you were really me, how come you haven't killed me yet? Hm?" Inuyasha argued. Just as the voice was tired of Inuyasha, Inuyasha was tired at the voice.
The voice was dumbfounded. "That's really stupid. Why would I kill myself?"
Inuyasha responded with, "No me." He pointed to him. The voice was taking it a little too seriously.
"I know, why would you kill yourself? I'm your conscience idiot! Saying to kill you means suicide!" the voice attempted to explain. It was no use.
"Oh, never mind," sighed Inuyasha. The voice continued
"So anyway, I came to warn you about something that I have foreseen," the voice began to explain.
"Oh, so now you can see the future? Wait, does that mean I'm psychic to? …Wow! Next you're going to tell me I have premotions!" Inuyasha showed the voice just how dense he could be.
The voice sighed. "Premotions are the same thing as seeing into the future…?"
"No they aren't!" Inuyasha argued. The voice decided it was best not to get into yet another fight.
"Look, do you want me to tell you or are you going to act stupid and leave?" the annoyed voice pestered.
"No, not really," answered Inuyasha. "Are you almost done? I have to catch up with Kagome, though I doubt she noticed me leaving…"
"NO! NOT UNTIL I TELL YOU SOMETHING!" the voice yelled. It was really beginning to grow impatient.
"Fine then. Touchy, touchy," huffed Inuyasha. He stayed unwillingly.
"Come closer my dear," coaxed the voice.
"And why should I?" shot back Inuyasha.
"Because I said so!"
"You'll pay!" Kikyou finally showed herself to Inuyasha, getting out of the bushes, her brown eyes turning red from evilness.
Inuyasha was shocked and took a step back.
"Kikyou? All this time and I never knew you were my conscience!"
Kikyou shook in anger. How in seven blazes hell did she date someone so…dense? "I will never ever be your conscience. It was all a stupid plan that you fell for. Now DIE!" shouted Kikyou, raising her bow straight at Inuyasha. Inuyasha looked more amused than scared.
"Feh, like you could kill me. I mean you can do me no harm. I mean Wow, you have a bow and some puny arrows. I doubt you could kill me with those 'weapons'," scoffed Inuyasha, underestimating Kikyou's power.
Kikyou launched an arrow at him. Inuyasha was shocked.
"Or not."Inuyasha fell to the ground, dead. Kikyou placed the body into the bushes. She patted her hands.
"That felt …good. I haven't felt like this in years! This makes me want to…do it again! MWHAHAHA!" cackled Kikyou.
Instead of returning to her normal self after killing the person who she wanted to kill, she apparently lost all of it, going to…the darkside.
And it's perfectly alright, Kikyou. We accept you here in open arms…
First chapter done editing! Onto next!