Title: I bet Jack...

Author: GoldenGirl

Spoilers: none

Pairing: vaguely skate

Disclaimer: I dont own lost.

Summery: Kate and Sawyer have fun at Jack's expense because it's fun and they're bored :D

It was close to noon according to the watch by his bedside and Sawyer finally decided to face the day. Usually, he'd only gotten up at the crack of dawn like the rest if there was stuff going on. But lately, getting up that early meant sitting on your ass for hours waiting for the sun to go down again. He chuckled to himself when he saw Kate was doing just that.

She was sitting lotus-style on the sand, facing the ocean, not too far from his tent. For Sawyer this was just another example of her repressed yet irrefutable love for him. She could've chosen to sit anywhere on the beach yet, remarkably, she had chosen this spot. A mere coincidence or an indiscreet gesture on Kate's part? Sawyer knew the answer all too well.

"Alright, I'm here," he said, announcing his presence a few paces behind her.

Kate turned at the sound of the familiar southern drawl and furrowed her brow. "Did you want me to alert the media?"

Sawyer smiled, touched by her snarkiness. He was fully aware that it was just another way to let him know she was totally into him.

"I know why you're sitting here," he stated. She looked at him blankly. "So close to my tent," he continued, more slowly, connecting the dots for her. "It's because you were waiting for me to wake up."

"And why would I do that?"

Now it was Sawyer's turn to stare at her blankly. "Because of your repressed yet irrefutable love for me."

Kate couldn't help but laugh. "Oh yeah," she answered, somewhat sardonically. "That."

Satisfied, Sawyer tugged at his jeans and sat beside her. He could've sat there all day, perfectly content with just watching the expressions on her face as she looked out onto the ocean. She looked so deep in thought whenever she watched the waves and he always wondered what it was she thought about. He knew she was thinking of him, naturally, but in what scenario? He couldn't help but fall deep in thought himself. Was she thinking about sex with him? Probably. Was it hot jungle monkey sex or was it passionate love-making on the beach under the stars? Was she on top or was he? Or were they standing up? If she was anything like him, she'd be thinking the latter.


"Definitely jungle sex," he blurted out.


Sawyer was shaken out of his trans by the high pitched tone of her voice. "Yeah?" he asked, a bit peeved to have his daydream cut so short.

"You just said 'jungle sex'"

Sawyer was still, much like a deer caught in headlights would be. "I did?"


There was a long silence between them with only the sound of crashing waves at irregular intervals.

"You probably just heard me wrong, sweetcheeks," Sawyer finally said. "You've got a dirty mind." He probably could've avoided this whole thing if he'd blurted out 'love-making on the beach under the stars,' instead, he thought.

"Shouldn't you be off somewhere looking cute picking fruit or fighting monsters?"

Kate's head sprung up in his direction, unsure if she heard him right. "What are you saying?" she asked, seriously. "Are you implying I'm not looking cute just sitting here?"

Sawyer's smile broadened. He loved it when she got defensive. "Is it the shirt?" she asked, getting agitated. She looked down at her faded orange shirt with newfound disgust. "It's the shirt isn't? No wonder Sayid didn't offer to carry my fruits like he normally does. I knew I should've worn the green one."

"Calm down, Freckles," Sawyer said, before she started beating herself up too much. "You look cute! But if you ask me you'd look better without a shirt at all."

Kate considered, but then shot the suggestion down. "Nice try."

"Still havent told me why you're here. So I'm just going to assume it's cuz you want me."

"I'm here becasue I'm bored, Sawyer. Everyone on this island is."

Sawyer knew this was true.

"I mean have you seen Jack?" She looked behind her in the other direction where Jack was talking to some fellow islanders. "He hasn't saved anyone in days." She returned her gaze to Sawyer, fixing her eyes on his. "If he doesn't save anyone soon...we could all be in a lot of trouble."

Sawyer knew this was also true.

They proceeded to watch Jack for a while. He was now sitting on rock, peculiarly staring up at a palm tree with what seemed to be a very worried expression of his face.

"What do you think it is?" Kate asked Sawyer, her eyes still fixed intently on Jack. "He's really staring at that thing." Sawyer shrugged, but couldn't pretend he wasn't just as interested to find out. As if on cue, Jack lunged forward, tackling the woman standing under the tree as a single coconut fell from it, hitting Jack on the back.

"Well," Sawyer began. "Guess we don't have to worry about Jack and his rescue-drought anymore."

Jack helped the lady up and padded the sand out of her clothes.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, a little flustered. "I think I hit my head when you knocked me over, though."

"Better than a coconut to the head, trust me."

"Um, I guess," she answered. "Thanks?"

"Of course," Jack said, nodding. "Saving a life is just innate for me, you know? Like a sixth sense." The woman smiled and nodded, slightly confused. Jack went on, "Plus, I know you would've done the same for me."

"Sure?" she guessed.

"Even though it's hard being one, there's a hero in all of us." He placed his hand on her shoulder tenderly and looked her in the eye. "Even you."

"Right," she said. "I gotta...go." Her lips twitched in a crooked smile before she left him and the malicious coconut alone by the tree.

Jacks placed his hands on his hips and arched his back so that his chest prominently stood out. He loved the feeling he got when he saved someone's life. It was as if a huge burden to do good in the world rested on his shoulders and at the same time, saving someone always made him feel like a bit of the weight was lifted. A complex dichotomy- the likes of which only superheros knew of. He wouldn't go so far as to call himself a superhero...oh hell, who was he kidding? Yes he would!

And he loved every minute of it.

He looked around the beach to see if anyone else needed saving and noticed that Kate was watching him. Sure she was sitting with Sawyer- a sight that always pissed Jack off- but she was staring at Ihim/I. Yes, this was turning out to be a good day after all.

He grabbed the fallen coconut and started heading her way.

"Here comes the hero," Sawyer murmured, placing his hands behind his head and laying back.

"Be nice," Kate said, turning to face him again. "Jack has done a lot for us."

"Maybe. But he's obsessed with the hero work, Sugar. Anyone can see that."

"He's not Iobsessed/I. Just...concerned."

"Girl, you could walk up to him wearin' nothin' but a tea leaf and he'd find a way to go on about the dangers of this damn island."

For the second time that day, Kate found herself questioning her appearance.

"Are you saying that I'm so hideous to look at that even if I stood naked in front of Jack he wouldn't notice!"

Sawyer grunted and gritted his teeth. "No!" he yelled, sitting back up. "Alls I'm sayin' is Jack's a turd!"

Kate looked at him skeptically, bet let it pass.

"He's coming over here," Sawyer said. "You try to come on to him and I bet you the first full sentence out of his mouth will have to do with either being a hero or all the goddamn work that needs to be done around here."

"Come on, Sawyer. That's ridiculous."

"Bet me then! If you win I'll do whatever you want."

Kate grinned mischievously. "Anything?"

"Anything." Sawyer wasn't worried. There was no way he would lose. "But if I win, you need to give me a back rub."

"A back rub?"


"But," before Kate could protest any further, she felt Jack's shadow cast over her.

"Hey, he said.

Kate turned around. "Hey Jack." It was time to showcase her life's work; getting men to fawn over her by batting her bewitching eyelashes.

"I see you got a coconut there," she began, coyly. Jack simply nodded. "You know, some cultures believe coconuts are aphrodisiacs." Of course Kate knew this was total bullshit but that wasn't the point. "Maybe you can bring some over to my tent later tonight and we can–"

"Coconuts are hazardous," Jack interrupted her.

"Huh?" was all she managed to say. Did he not hear the 'come-over-to-my-tent part?

"I don't know if you noticed but this almost fell on someone a little while ago." He held up the coconut for Kate to inspected. She just stared at it and him dumbfoundedly. Was she not batting her eyelashes enough? She tried again. "Don't worry," Jack continued. "I saved her life. Got her out of the way. Anyway, the beach is littered with these tree bullets."

"Tree bullets?" Sawyer chimed in.

"I was referring to the coconuts, Sawyer. There aren't Ireally/I bullets that come out of trees." He rolled his eyes slightly, looking at Kate and cocking his head in Sawyer's direction with an expression on his face that could only be read as 'get a hold of this guy.'"

"So, my point is," he went on, "I think I'm gonna get a search party going. Have them look for all the coconuts on trees and even the detached ones and get rid of them."

"Get rid of them?" Sawyer asked. "Even the detached ones?"

"Yeah," Jack replied, bothered to even be conversing with Sawyer. "Isn't that what I just said?"

"Yeah Jackass, but the detached ones are already off the trees. There's no chance that they'll fall on anyone. Unless you expect gravity to go changin' its mind on us."

Jack's nostrils flared and his jaw clenched. This was why he hated talking to Sawyer. He always ended up having to explain things twice.

"If someone were to pick these up and throw them at someone else with the right amount of force do you know what could happen?"

Now it was Sawyer's turn to roll his eyes.

"You could die," Jack finished, dramatically.

"Gonna gather up all the rocks and get rid of 'em too, doc?"

Jack seemed stumped. He decided to ignore Sawyer and face Kate again who was oddly quiet this whole time.

"So you wanna come along?" he asked. "With the search party? I think I can round up a few people by the end of the hour. Everyone pretty much listens to everything I say around here" He chuckled.

"Uh. Ok." she answered.

"Great, see you then."

Jack left just as Sawyer began to laugh heartily. Kate still sat bewildered by what had just happened.

Sawyer's laughing got so animated that it lay him all the way down till he was rolling in the sand.

"Better start on that back rub before you start searching for tree bullets!"