Title: Killer Apes
Author: Lokaia
Disclaimer: Firefly is not mine. It belongs to the illustrous Joss Whedon who I would freely and gladly give my womb to in return for screening tickets to Serenity and/or a DVD of it right after I see the movie. o.o ...oh god yes.
(A/N): Fifteen of thirty for the LJ community 30Kisses. Sorry for the delay - end of the year school things, followed by end of the year family things, followed by cleaning up after family. I'll try to get them out more regularly over the summer. 33

There's a theory about how human folk came about. Still a theory after all these years, couple hundred, which is more like six or seven. That they evolved from monkeys - funny, innit? - and before that, they were... well, something. But the point is, humans get called "apes" a lot. And, he had picked up somewhere along the years - a book? nah, couldn't be - they're called "the killer ape."

See, the idea was that, when there weren't no humans, just monkeys... or apes or whatever, all livin' together in big tribes, they were all the same. But this one monkey found out one day that if he picked up a big stick and hit smaller animals with it, he could kill them faster and he could eat them. But to hold the club, he had to stand on two legs. And from that monkey, humans came about, standing on two legs and killing with weapons, instead of their own hands.

S'pretty disgusting, ain't it? Doesn't make you look at the human race in any sort of fanciful light or anything.

No. From where Jayne's lyin', belly down in the dust, rifle up with the butt of it against his shoulder, a couple of the human race are in regular ol' sunlight.

His job ain't in no fanciful light neither - he ain't really "customer relations" or whatever the guay it was that Mal called it when the doc was bein' all high-n-mighty that first day. He kills.

And he kills well.

He don't talk about it much, how he learned to do it. Sometimes he says his Pa taught him, sometimes he says he taught himself. Sometimes he offers to show his skill if you ask him too much about it. But it don't really matter how he learned 'cause he's damn good.

And to the crew of Serenity who put their lives in his hands a lil' more than they ever care to admit to... that's enough.

The butt of the rifle against his shoulder, the guy's bodyguard movin' slowly out of the way, Jayne grins, eyes squinted an' lookin' through the scope, gettin' a good look. "Any minute now, Mal," he mutters, grin darkened only by the slight annoyance of his tone. But he's good at this, one of few things he's good at, only thing he's praised for, "Any ruttin' minute now..."

An' there's Mal, all smiles with Wash beside 'im 'cause Zoe got some bug or another. Doc had to knock her out with seds to get her down once she found out Wash was takin' her place. An' Mal says something an' laughs, Wash laughin', too-- but then the little man says somethin' and he knew he wasn't s'posed to and Mal closes his eyes and the other side looks mighty angry.

And Jayne could kiss the guy if he weren't a couple hundred yards away, belly down in the dust with the rifle against his shoulder, grinnin' like a kid come Christmas. "Now we're gettin' somewhere," is muttered as guns are drawn by the other side.

He takes 'em down.

Best of the best.

Killer ape.