Fullmeatal Al-blender

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"Five minutes, sir."

Edward Elric pulled on his white gloves. "Perfect."

Five Minutes later...

"Three...Two...ONE!"

"Hello, ladies and gents! Welcome Fullmeatal Al-blender, the best cooking show EVER!" Edward announced as the audience roared. "Thank you, thank you." he took a bow, proudly. "Today's audience is how to make shrimp cocktail...BY USING ALCHEMY! BWAHAHA!" the audience stood and cheered. Edward kept bowing. "Alright, quiet down!" The crown sat. "Okay, so in order to make this wonderful cocktail, you need several ingedients and tools..."

"You need, plenty of these cute, tender, lil' shrimps-WHICH I AM NOT-and, you need some cocktail sause, made with...whatever goes in cocktail sauce, and you need...umm...a plate...but the secret ingredient...is your freakin' huge, giant...BLENDER!" Ed said and bowed again. The audience was dead silent. "Where's the blender?" They asked. "Oh, he'll be out in a second...OH BLENDER!"

"D-do I come out now?" Asked a small voice from behind the curtain.

"Yes!" Edward yelled. There was a drum roll, and Al walked out from behind the curtain. "There we have it, some shrimp, cocktail sauce, and your giant blender!" The audience, once again, stood screaming. "WE LOVE YOU, BLENDER!" Al was pleased. "I love you all! Thank you, fans!"

Ed seemed irratated. "Okay, now we put the shrimp and the cocktail sauce in the blend---"

"WE LOVE YOU, BLENDER! BLENDER! BLENDER! BLENDER!" The crowd cheered, and Al started break-dancing. "Woot! Woot! Woot!" Ed was getting more and more ticked..."Uhh...COMMERCIAL BREAK!"

The announcer came on. "WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF...FULLMEATAL AL-BLENDER!"

(Commercials)

"Liuetenant Hawkeye! Guess what!"

"Lemme guess, you got a promotion?" She asked.

"That'd be nice, but no..." said Roy a bit disappointed.

"Oh, what is it then?" Hawkeye asked.

"I JUST SAVED A BUNCH OF MONEY ON MY HOMUNCULI INSURENCE BY SWITHCING TO GEICO!"

"Uhhh...oh, uh, GREAT! THAT'S GREAT!" Riza said with a fake smile. "And...cut!" Said a voice in the background. "Augh...can I have my money now?" Riza asked. "Yea, me too!" Roy said, demangingly. The camera fizzed. "Oh, crap! I dropped the fu---"

(Commercials over)

The announcer was back. "WELCOME BACK TO FULLMEATAL AL-BLENDER!"

"Hey all! Alright, now we all have our ingredients, so...what do we have to do?" The crowd cheered and music started. "Put the shrimp in the blender, and mix it all up! Put the shrimp in the blender, and mix it all up!" The crowd cheered. Ed laughed, and put the shrimp and sauce in through Al's head. "Mix it! Mix it! Mix it! Mix it!" they chanted. Al started break-dancing again. "WHEEE!"

After two long minutes of 'mix it, mix it'...

"Okay! All done! Here ya go, judges."

The first judge, Paula Abdul (wtf), took a bite, and held up a sign. "Ten! You have such a gift!"

The second judge, Dr. Marco, took a bite, and passed out, because he was so old. "..."

The third judge, Slimy Cow-hoof, took a bite, and held up a sign, which read 'you suck, shrimp!' The audience threw tomatoes at him. When they ran out of tomatoes, they threw their children at him. "AAAH!"

"Calm down, I'll handle this!" Edward yelled. "Ahem...WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-SO-SHORT-THEY-CAN'T-SCRATCH-YOU-FREAKIN-EYES-OUT! HUH, PUNK!" The crowd was silent, and then, suddenly burst out cheering! "GO EDWARD! THAT'S OUR BOY!"

Ed bowed. "Thank you, and that's all the time we have! I hope you enjoyed another WONDERFUL episode of..."

The announcer finished. "FULLMEATAL AL-BLENDER!"

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Okay, I was really hyper, and it's kinda...random, so excuse me if it's a little stunning. R&R...PWEEEEESE! I BEG YOU!