The Darker Side of the Mirror

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. If I did, the light side would have not received those atrocious Star Forge robes and would get something much cooler looking.

Warnings: AU (I think), Angst, and Character Death.


I don't look into the mirror anymore. I am afraid of what I might see.

Will the corruption be obvious? Will the taint show?

Will I look into the smooth glass and see the eyes of a Sith staring back at me?

I really wish that Revan were here, but he is gone, dead by my own hand. I really wish Revan were here, but he is dead now. I killed him myself.

He is truly dead this time, for there was no young Padawan to save him. There was no Jolee to offer him cryptic comments and humor. There was no Juhani or Canderous to battle for him. There was no Carth or Mission to tease. There was no Zaalbar to protect him. There was no Malak to seek redemption, even as he was on death's door.

There was no one else.

There was only he and I. Only one of us lived, and it wasn't him.

I killed him and cemented my slide into the abyss. He trusted me, and I betrayed him. I stabbed him in the back and mocked him as he lay dying.

I watched as the light left his eyes, as he whispered his final words… "I forgive you." I simply watched as he died and left no body behind in true Jedi fashion.

He was, is, and forever will be something that I am not. A good person, a decent person… a friend.

I do not look into the mirror anymore because I know the taint will show. I can't look at the evil of myself, though it is visible for the entire universe to see.

He trusted me, and I betrayed him. I betrayed the man who saved me from my vengeance, my hatred. Myself.

And I have become what I hated the most. A traitor, a murderer. I have become just like Malak.

I do not look into the mirror anymore because I know exactly what I will see. A friend turned into an enemy. A woman turned into a monster. I will see that which I swore to defend others against, even at the expense of my own life.

I don't look into the mirror anymore because I know I won't be able to avoid my own reflection. I will see myself as who and what I truly am.

A murderer, a monster. A Sith.

They say that killing a Jedi Master, a true Jedi Master, is one of the highest honors among the Sith. That those capable of such a feat are remembered for all eternity. That their names are written in the sacred dark side texts as paragons of what a Sith should be.

May the name Bastila Shan live on in infamy.


Ever Hopeful,

Azar