A/N: This prologue was, appropriately enough, written long after this story. It's rather amusing though. So I decided to put it up here. In case you don't know, Kedem is a kosher grape juice, designed to taste like wine. It tastes especially good with pineapple.

Disclaimer: Not sure if I need to do this, but Ducky isn't mine.

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Deep within the depths of the abyss, down the left and past the sign that says "7^th Ring-Sightseeing Tours: 2am to Eternity", sits a little old man, known as Dante to some and Ducky to others. Ducky sat underneath the sign, waiting for eternity to arrive and suddenly a demon appeared before him. He had a clipboard and a pair of cheap sunglasses.

"We haven't been tormenting you enough, have we Ducky ole chap?" Ole Seyton's scheduled you for a session." Ducky, ahem, Dante was unimpressed.

"What is it this time? Watching Barney for 12 hours straight? Baywatch? William Shatner's Greatest Hits?" The demon shook his head.

"Worse ole chap. He's making you read fanfic." A look of horror passed over Dante's face.

"Wh-Who are the authors?"

"Ariana and Kailla." Dante breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh, those two aren't too bad…"

"They have kedem."

"…"

"And pineapple."

"…argh…"

"And maple sug-"

"Enough! Tell him I'll clean the golems toilets, or even Beelzebub's bathtub…"

"To late ole chap. Someone's got to suffer through this and it might as well be you." Dante disappeared in a puff of smoke, though his scream echoed a lot longer. The demon, seeing no one around, sat down under the sign and started reading the Inferno, chuckling over the good parts.