Sometimes the dreams you have reserved forever come to a shattering halt. A lover can bring you to the brink of self destruction when their constant presence suddenly becomes a void.
How long have I been living like this?
How could I have been so foolish to think that I could Love. How could I have been so foolish as to think that he of all people could love me in return?
Yet, still… I loved.
Not the type of adolescent love that comes and goes like the youth that expresses it. No, it's a love that brings ache to my heart. I've become sloppy, unable to perform through my unyielding thoughts. I can't function as a whole. I scattered and filled with holes.
All because of one man. Can it be true? I'm sure you as the observer are questioning my sanity at this point.
Unless, of course this love I feel deep down in the essence of my soul, you too have felt.
Ten months of bliss I was allowed. Ten Months of a relationship. A lifestyle. In this measly Ten months of time I grew to love a man with the whole of my heart.
Then, I was a broken woman.
For Eight Months I powered on, I cried, I shook, I struggled. I felt everything in it's intensity. In it's full. Yet, I managed.
And now? AGONY
Hurtful regrets. Dreadful thoughts. Terrible desires.
He burns in my soul… tears me apart as flames would.
Beat Boy, why have you done this?