A/N: Kenshin visits Tomoe's grave for the first time. Set before he becomes a Choushuu bodyguard. And yes, this is slightly AU-ish, but please forgive me. This one normally doesn't write AU…this was a slip!

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin (Samurai X); it belongs to Watsuki Nobuhiro-sensei and Shounen Jump! I'm not making any money off this either.I swear! The song is The Reason; it belongs to Hoobastank.

Rating: G

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Major Spoilers for the series! Not sure about the movie (never seen it… Don't hurt me!) This is angst, you no like; you no read!

Main Characters: Himura Kenshin, Yukishiro Tomoe (only mentioned…), and Kaoru (only mentioned)…

A Reason To Live

Kyoto: Bakumatsu, year 1864

He stood there, in the open in front of the grave. It probably wasn't the safest thing that the Hitokiri Battousai could do, especially since the war was still in progress and he was an important target for the Shinsengumi. A week or so ago, he wouldn't have cared one iota if he had been struck down as he stood there, staring…

The word was on his lips before he even realized it, lost in his memories… "Tomoe…"

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

Her name brought back so many memories to his pained mind… The freshest being her death…by his hand. He had been unable to stop the attack in time andshe hadpaid for it...withher life…

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

"Forgive this one…Tomoe… I-I didn't…" A soft wind blew, caressing his face, the scar on his cheek. He sighed. "Thank you… I will not throw your gift away… I will live…and I will be happy…for the both of us… When the war, this bloody time of the Bakumatsu, is over, I will kill no more…"

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

He closed his eyes and stood in silence; waiting. For what, he did not know. The soft wind continued to blow, whistling gently as it passed, fading into the distance. He shivered; it was so cold here… "Tomoe…"

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear

Kyoto: 11th year of the Meiji, year 1879

Again…for only the second time in his life, he stood by her grave. After that first visit, he had lost all courage to go back, the strength. He could not look at what he had fated her to…death… But still… He had kept his promise to Tomoe: he hadn't killed since the day the Bakumatsu ended over eleven years ago…

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

He still regretted what he had done as a hitokiri, none of these acts more so than the murder of Tomoe…though it was not intentional… For eleven years, he had wandered, his soul in turmoil…but now… Kaoru…

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

Hesitantly, he bowed low, and began to tell his lost love of the new light in his dark life… "Tomoe…" he whispered. "This one did not want to be alone… I tried to repent…I tried so hard… But…but someone has made me see what you tried so hard to tell me…"

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

He sighed and continued. "Kaoru…she has made me understand…made me see what you tried to tell me…that I am forgiven…that you did not blame me… I understand now, she has made me see that you would not want me to be alone… That you would want me to be happy… And Tomoe…I am happy… I…I love Kaoru…as much I still love you…

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you

"I have truly found a reason to live… I will live…for the both of you…"

Owari

A/N: Yes, yes, I know. Kenshin only visited Tomoe's grave once—after the fight with Shishio. I know. I forgot that when I started this, so I guess that makes this an AU-ish fic? Oh well. Please, review!