A/N: Yeah…this is funny… I noticed that no one—NO ONE!—has written a story about the conversation Shigure said he and Ayame had about Hatori…so I'm fixing this horrendous problem!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket! And I'm not making any money off these!

Ratings: PG-13

Genre: Humor/Romance

Warnings: yoai, dirty humor

Main Characters: Ayame, Shigure, and Hatori

Additional Notes: Nothing really… I'd say this would be set either in their last year of high school, or the year after that.

Simply Put

Ayame sighed audibly, playing with the hem of his kimono distractedly as Shigure scribbled plot ideas on a piece of paper across the table from him. The dog looked up, noticing suddenly the silence that permeated the room, disturbing considering who was in it. "Aaya?" he asked, putting his pen down. "Is something wrong? You're rather quiet today…"

The snake blinked, snapping out of his trance, and glanced at the dog before looking away towards the window. "I'm fine," he said quietly, worrying the dog further; Ayame Sohma hardly said anything quietly…something was obviously weighing heavy on the snake's mind. "I'm just thinking…"

Shigure leaned forward, crossing his arms on the table, resting his weight on them as his chocolate eyes surveyed his friend, concerned in spite of himself. "About what?"

Silver hair covered amber-gold eyes as Ayame bowed his head. "About…about Tori-san…"

"What about him?" Shigure studied the snake, brushing a few strands of dark brown hair from his eyes as he did.

Ayame sighed. "I wish I was more like him," he confessed suddenly, looking up at Shigure. "I…I wish I had his IQ…his maturity…reliability…his strength…"

Shigure blinked, sitting back a little, surprised by Ayame's answer. "So," he drawled with a slight smile, "You want to be a boring ass?"

"No!" snapped the snake angrily. "It's not exactly that I want to be like him… I guess I just admire him… I mean, he's always trying to help people…always so kind…so gentle…"

"Aaya?" asked Shigure when the snake's eyes went misty and distant, his body relaxing, a small, soft smile on his lips. "Hello! Earth to Ayame!" called the dog, waving his hand in front of Ayame's eyes.

The snake jumped a little, startled out of his stupor. "Sorry Gure-san," he said apologetically. "I kind of zoned out there for a minute…"

"It's all right," assured Shigure, grinning, as he waved away the apology. "Now, you were saying? And do try to stay out of the clouds…"

Ayame shot the dog a reproving look but continued. "I guess I just wish I could be around him more… After all, he's always there for me." Shigure's eyes narrowed. "So are you, Gure-san, but it's different with Tori-san."

"Different how?" asked Shigure, dropping the joking manner.

The snake traced the edge of his teacup, his long nail sliding smoothly over the glass-like china. He looked down at the now-cold tea thoughtfully. "It's hard to explain…"


"Well," he started, taking the cup and cold tea to the sink and emptying it into the drain with a sigh. "I just…I just feel different when I'm around him." Shigure raised an eyebrow, curious to see where this was going. "I feel, I don't know, safer somehow…warmer, content even…"

Shigure took a deep breath. "And without him?"

"Empty," whispered Ayame, staring at the cup he had begun to wash, but not really seeing it. "Empty…that's the only way to describe it… It scares me Gure-san…"

Shigure sighed as he got to his feet, abandoning his work to stand behind his lifelong friend; he put a comforting hand on the snake's shoulder. "Aaya, don't worry," he said quietly. "I'm here for you and I always will be."

Ayame turned, the teacup still held tight in his trembling hands; he looked up at the dog, eyes showing the fear and confusion he felt. "Gure-san," he whispered softly, lips trembling slightly. "What's wrong with me? Why do I feel this way?"

The dog felt the edges of his lips turn up, a comforting smile, as he whispered, "Come here," pulling Ayame to him, the snake's hands falling limp at his sides as he took a shaky breath. He buried his face in the space between Shigure's shoulder and neck.

"You know what it sounds like to me?" asked the dog slowly. "It sounds like you don't think of Haa-san as 'just a friend' anymore…"

Ayame blinked, pulling back so his amber-gold eyes could search chocolate. "What do you mean Gure-san?" he demanded, frowning. "Of course he's a friend! He's one of my best friends!"

"Aaya," said Shigure with a chuckle. "I said as more than 'just a friend'. I never said he wasn't your friend."

The snake shook his head, silver hair swaying with the motion, turning back to the sink. "I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean…"

Shigure smiled sadly to himself. "It sounds like…you love him Aaya…"

There was a small gasp from Ayame and the sound of breaking china. The snake stood motionless, his thin body shaking slightly. "That's…that's impossible!" he muttered, shaking his head. "Come now Gure-san, Tori-san is a man; I can't have romantic feelings for him…that's just crazy!"

"No it's not Aaya," said Shigure gently. "It just means you're…well, homosexual, and there's nothing wrong with that."

Ayame took a deep, shuddering breath as he turned around, his eyes wide. "H-homo—you mean gay!" he whispered. "No! How can I be gay!"

Shigure blinked. "Calm down Aaya. It's not as dramatic as you make it sound."

The snake's eyes narrowed. "Then what is it?" he asked, a trace of venom in his voice. "You're telling me I'm gay and I just supposed to go 'oh, all right; wanna fuck?' I don't think so Shigure!"

The dog steeped back, stunned at Ayame's angry reaction. "That's not what I meant! God Ayame! You know I didn't mean it like that!"

Ayame looked away, his face heating up. "But how can I be…gay?" he muttered sullenly. "I don't feel anything when I look at other guys…just…just when I look at Tori-san…"

"It's all right Aaya," said Shigure, trying to comfort the snake. "there's nothing wrong with the way you feel."

Ayame sighed, rubbing his temples tiredly. They stayed silent for a while, the only sounds being the ticking of the clock on the wall and their breathing. After almost ten minutes, Shigure swallowed.

"Well," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "We could stand here like statues all day or we can test the 'gay theory'"

Ayame blinked. "'Gay theory'?"

Shigure grinned. "How do you feel about a little dare?" Ayame's eyes narrowed, wary and suspicious. But then, he had a right to be; the last time Shigure had proposed a dare, the snake had foolishly taken it without question and ended up having to run around the outer wall of the Sohma estate wearing…well, nothing.

"What kind of dare?" he asked slowly, watching the dog's every move.

"I hurt Aaya," pouted Shigure with a playful frown. "But since you asked…it's a rather physical dare, one you would enjoy if you are indeed homosexual."

The snake swallowed. "I don't know…"

Shigure smiled. "C'mon Aaya! Where's your sense of curiosity?"

The glare. "It's on vacation apparently." The sarcastic reply. "Now what is the dare?" The fall-through.

The dog grinned broadly and Ayame shivered. What have I gotten myself into now?

Hatori was reading a very good, engrossing novel when the snake bounced into the room; the dragon groaned internally. Not now, he moaned to himself. Little Timmy's down the damn well and I wanna know if he gets out! Hatori sighed. "What is it Ayame?"

The silver-haired snake grinned nervously. "Umm…well," he muttered, his amber-gold eyes flicking back and forth from Hatori to the doorway, looking as though he wanted nothing more than to run. "You see Tori-san…"

The dragon shook his head, getting to his feet. He looked longingly at his novel before sighing and setting it on the couch he had just vacated. I'll be back Little Timmy…

"What is it Ayame?" he asked again. "If you have some point to make, hurry up."

Ayame blinked and swallowed; he took a deep breath and suddenly pressed his lips to the dragon's in a fumbling attempt at a one-sided first kiss before pulling away, his amber-gold eyes wide, as though he could hardly believe what he'd just done. There was a moment of utter silence before the snake sprinted from the room as though death itself was on his heels. Maybe it was…

Hatori stood, frozen to the spot, for a good twenty to thirty minutes before he blinked dazedly muttering a confused, "what the hell…?" under his breath as his fingers hesitantly brushed his lips where the Ayame had kissed him. He shook his head, still blinking his emerald eyes. The dragon plopped back down on the couch's velveteen cushions and hazily picked up his book again. Well that was…disturbingly strange… Now, let's get you out of that well, Little Timmy…

"So?" prodded the dog, literally, as he poked the snake in the ribs. "How'd it feel?"

Ayame glared daggers at Shigure and sighed. "It felt…" He closed his eyes, a slightly red tint creeping across his pale cheeks. "It felt…good…really good…"

"You got a boner, didn't you?" asked Shigure.

The tint evolved into a full-blown blush as Ayame nodded sheepishly. "Yeah…a bad one…"

Shigure snorted. "Well, we've solved the mystery," he said, holding up his index finger as Ayame waited anxiously for the verdict. "You are a homosexual, my friend!" declared the dog with a flourish. "A bona fide gay man! The proverbial fruitcake! Mr. Bananas for Bananas—"

"I get it Shigure!" snapped the snake. "Enough with the names!" Shigure shrugged. "So…I'm gay," said Ayame slowly, shaking his head. "Now what?"

"Wait a minute," muttered Shigure, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "We forgot to test…the 'bi-theory'…"

Ayame blinked. "Huh?"

The dog sighed, overly dramatic. "Bi-sexual!" he exclaimed. "Bi-sexual, Aaya!"

The snake swallowed, hardly daring to ask, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Umm…what does that mean?"

Shigure gasped and tsked disapprovingly, wagging his finger at his silver-haired friend. "Poor, poor, sweet, innocent Aaya," he sighed, throwing his arm loosely over the snake's shoulder. "You have much to learn, cricket; for one, bi-sexual is attraction to both sexes…uh…sexually?"

Ayame sighed, groaning inside. Why me…? Then he caught sight of a small picture on the wall; Shigure, Hatori, and himself, making the funniest poses they could, and he smiled. "It doesn't matter," he said softly, smiling. "Because, simply put: I love Tori-san."


A/N: Heh…I just had to remedy that horrendous problem. I hope I did it justice with a little humor thrown in. (Even though that's not my strong point) Please, review!