Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. I'm just playing. I also don't own any part of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.
A/N: I know I was all bitchy with my Fortuneteller/Nerdy Hanyou fic, being all like I won't update for three weeks unless you guys get me ten reviews. But, then I found this on my computer from a few nights ago—I was watching CNN and they were speculating whether or not the upcoming Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes wedding was legit or not, and I was all like this would be perfect fanfiction. I tied in the conspiracy theory-ness of Josie and the Pussycats movie and here you go.
But after rereading this, I realized that its basically fits into that small inner genre of Inuyasha fanfic where Inuyasha and Kagome are forced into marriage for circumstances beyond their control. So please let me know if you want me to continue with this, or if its too clichéd for its own good.
I dedicate this story to Shawn. May some beautiful boy find and appreciate you for who you are someday. But please, for the love of God use a condom!
That being said, this is an Inuyasha/Kagome fic.Chapter 1
"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" Kikyou screamed as she hurled a stack of scripts at the head of Dreamstone Pictures CEO.
"No Kikyou, we're quite serious." The CEO said, resuming his seat. He had had to leap from it to get out of the way of the flying books that had been chucked at his head only moments before.
The Board of Directors for Dreamstone Pictures were staring at their brightest star as she crumpled down into her own chair, quietly sobbing. "I can't do it."
Several of the suits exchanged looks. This was so out of character for the ever obedient and eager to please Kikyou.
"Kikyou," the CEO coaxed. "Kikyou, when you became an actress under our studio's label, you signed a contract." He spoke carefully as though he we speaking to a child. "And in this contract, you agreed to do any off-set publicity necessary to promote your movies. ANY offset publicity we decided to be suitable. With the trouble Inuyasha has been having lately, we need you! You aren't going to break that contract now, because I think we've asked a lot more from you than this in the past."
Kikyou nodded silently, wiping away her running mascara as she began to fumble in her purse. Finally finding what she was looking for, she pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and lit up. Breathing in her smoke cloud deeply, she finally spoke. "I agree with what you say—that compared to some of the other movie-hype stunts you guys have put me though, this should be nothing." She took a long drag of her cigarette, blowing the smoke out through her nose. "But I'm married to someone else—that's why I can't simply marry Inuyasha to keep out movie from going belly up."
Kikyou slowly lifted her eyes from the boardroom table. As she had expected, every one was too shell shocked to say anything. Finally, the CEO managed out a "You've got to be kidding me."
She gave her head a small shake no.
"Prove it," someone called out.
Taking another drag on her cigarette, Kikyou dug through her purse again, this time bringing forth her wallet. After flipping though the pictures for several seconds, she came to one buried in the back. She practically flung it at the CEO.
He looked at it for a moment and scowled. There was Kikyou looking every bit the blushing bride as she was held in the arms of a handsome, but average looking man. The couple was surrounded by what could only be the family and friends that had attended the wedding. The CEO had been making a rather ugly face for some time when suddenly his expression lightened. "Who's that standing next to you?"
"My husband, idiot." She finished off the cigarette and brutally extinguished it on the glass tabletop.
"No, on the other side," he held up the picture and pointed to a woman who looked very much like Kikyou.
"That would be my sister, Kagome." Kikyou answered with an uncertain voice.
"There certainly is a family resemblance, wouldn't you say?"
"Yes…" She answered cautiously, becoming suspicious.
"Does she act?"
Now Kikyou knew what they were after, but she couldn't lie to them—that would be a breach of her contract, and it wasn't like they wouldn't find out the truth anyway. "Yes, but only community theater. She's getting her doctorate right now, studying class based consumerism."
"So she's smart?"
"More than you'd think," Kikyou answered coolly. She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. "But the question you really want to ask is how good of an actress is she."
"Yes," the CEO answered bluntly. "Could she play you faking marital bliss?"
"Kagome isn't going to marry my costar to promote my movie no matter how much you offer her. I'll admit it—she's far more talented than me, but she never even tried to have a film career because of shit like this. Don't bring her into this."
"Oh, but we will. I assume only a select few know about you're marriage." The CEO smirked with a greedy coming into his eye when Kikyou made no effort to deny it. "We'll find out who the lucky man is. Just as soon as the public knows of your secret wedding, they'll be hearing about the break up. No man will be able to handle the pressure we'll put your husband under, and believe me, he'll leave you. Remember Kikyou, you are a sex symbol, and as such, you either stay single or marry another sex symbol. If you don't play by our rules, what good are you?"
Kikyou, licked her front teeth. Reaching out for her purse, she pulled out another cigarette and her lighter, all the while keeping eye contact with her CEO. Sure she could list all the movies she had been in, all the money she had made, all the awards she had brought the studio, but it wouldn't matter. Hell, she could go on and on about her humanitarian projects and the numerous charities she had founded, but he and the board would laugh at her. The only thing that would matter would be promoting the movie right now. You were only as good as your last flick, they always said.
"Fine, I'll talk to her. What will you expect her to do?"
"He named Sebastion; I my brother know yet living in my glass; even such and so in favor was my brother; and he went still in this fashion, color, ornament, for him I imitate. O, if it prove tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love!" Kagome delivered her lines so clearly and with such feeling that even though Twelfth Night was comedy, there was hardly an eye in the house that wasn't at least pondering crying for the girl searching for her lost and believed dead brother.
Well there was one pair of eyes that wasn't anywhere close to weeping.
Watching as her little sister exited the stage, Kikyou pulled off her sunglasses to move them to the top her head. She flicked her cigarette and waved at Kagome, catching her attention.
"Kikyou!" Kagome gave a giddy hiss. "What's the occasion?" She hugged her sister and barely noticed that Kikyou was steering her to the green room, walking briskly.
"Can't I come and see my little sister without a reason?"
Kagome thought for a moment. "No, we have to call your assistant to schedule Christmas with you, and then its never on December 25th that we actually get to see you." She went to the water cooler and got a cup of water for herself and for her sister. Sitting back down, she looked pointedly at Kikyou. "Why are you here?"
Kikyou looked at her watch, she didn't have much time. She had a television interview in an hour and Kagome had to be back on stage any minute. Hopefully this wouldn't upset her too much. "I need your help."
Kagome stared at her sister for a moment. Kikyou had never needed help. Ever. Especially from her.
"You remember how I got married?" Kikyou began. Kagome nodded. It wasn't everyday that Kikyou agreed to share her life and personal space with another person.
"See, there's a slight problem with that. The studio is planning damage control for Inuyasha and a movie promotion for me, and it sort of involved us getting married…" She trailed off, looking at her hands. "They said they will ruin my marriage if I don't go along with this." She bit her lower lip.
"Oh Kikyou, I'm so sorry." Kagome pulled Kikyou into a hug. "Is there anything I can do?"
Kikyou gave her bottom lip another pinch and drew a breath. It was now or never. "Actually there is something you could do."
Kagome pulled back, looking at her sister with concern. "Anything." She took Kikyou's hand and gave is a squeeze. That was Kagome for you, always blindingly willing to help.
"You could marry Inuyasha for me."
Kagome looked at her, blinking. "Excuse me?" She squeaked. The Inuyasha. So distinct that he didn't even need a last name. The mysterious black haired, violet eyed movie star who despite only choosing tasteful and meaningful movies had more fan girls than two boy bands combined. The one actor Kagome would have gone to Hollywood to act with.
"I was trying to prove to those stupid suits that I was really married and not trying to cop out. I showed them the wedding picture with you in it." Kikyou cringed at the worried look Kagome was giving her, but still hurried on. "They saw that you and I were practically twins, and they jumped on the idea. The board of directors at Dreamstone want you to play me to the media."
"And to do this, I have to marry Inuyasha?"
"Well, yes. They're already planning a big wedding for the fall. Believe me, I'd take that bullet for you, but that's the most important part for you to be in." It was her turn to squeeze Kagome's hands as her little sister looked like she was about to be sick.
"So," Kagome began quietly. "You want me to give up any chance for my own marital happiness so you and another actor can further your careers?"
"Its not that bad. They hire people to impersonate the president an other heads of state all the time," Kikyou tried her best to beam, but somehow it fell short.
"Presidential impersonators don't have to MARRY anyone!" Kagome practically screeched. Several of the other actors on break paused to stare at her and one woman shushed her.
"That's nothing to worry about dear," Kikyou soothingly rubbed Kagome's arm. "You'll be divorced within a year—just in time for the summer block busters!"
Kagome ran her hand through her hair with nervous fingers. "I can't believe you're asking me to do this."
In her best Princess Leia impression, Kikyou took Kagome's hand in her own and looking her directly in the eye, "Please Kagome? You're my only hope."
Kagome pinched her eyes together. Kikyou had been such a good sister to her. She had stood up for her when she was in high school and the brace-faced, pimply-eye-sore butt of every joke. Kikyou had beat up the guy who stood her up for prom, not to mention coached her on her valedictorian speech. As her acting career had taken off by the time Kagome was going into grad school, she had offered to help pay most of the tuition. And Kikyou was always more than willing to listen to her lectures over the phone before she gave them, telling her when to breath and what to emphasize. Most importantly, she was always there to offer encouragement, never saying that Kagome couldn't do something.
So here she was, asking for the only big favor she had ever needed. But god, it was a big one. It would mean giving up her own identity, dealing with the press, and marrying a man that by most reports wasn't the most agreeable human being on the planet.
But if she didn't help, Kikyou could loose her contract with Dreamstone, and worse her husband.
"Divorced with in a year?" She raised an eyebrow to Kikyou's pleading eyes. "My research is on break for now. Fine, I'll do it."
It was Kikyou's turn to squeal. "Thank-you! Thank-you so much Kagome! You won't regret this!" She cried as she hugged her little sister.
"Miss Higurashi?" One of the prompters asked, cutting into the bonding moment. "Miss Higurashi, its almost time for you to go back on."
The two sisters broke apart. "Thanks sis, I'll have my assistant call you later to get you all the details." Kissing Kagome's cheek, she was gone.
Kagome made her way back to the stage. The last thought that crossed her mind before she stepped back into character of Viola was, "Did I make the right choice?"
Inuyasha rolled out of bed and fell flat onto the floor. "Where the hell was he?" Sitting up enough he was able to peak over the lip of the bed. It looked vaguely familiar.
That's right, he had crashed at Miroku's house.
He had been forced to…with the sea of paparazzi surrounding his house after that bullshit story had broke last week.
The week before, an idiot at a drag club had dressed up like him dressed up like a woman just when a television crew was filming. Added with his large following in the gay community, the tabloid cooker was ripe for exploding. The final straw had been a cute little go-go boy from a gay club doing an in depth interview for Hollywood This Evening about his secret rendezvous with Inuyasha and how the movie star had broken his heart.
Just because he didn't like to party and didn't date actresses didn't make him a homosexual. It was just so frustrating—for a lot of actors, being wrongly outed would have enhanced their careers; it added to their mystic. But since the story had broke, women had been boycotting his romances and men had refused to touch his more suspenseful work. Even his gay following had shrunk—saying he had bad taste if the best he could do was a go-go boy at a less-than reputable club. Why not go some place like The Factory?
People were screaming into interviewing paparazzi that they didn't know him. Like anyone really knew an actor they had never met to begin with.
He crawled back into bed, dragging the blanket back over his head. But the studio executives were taking care of this for him. For the longest time they had let rumors stew about a secret relationship between him and Kikyou Higurashi, and now they were using that to save his career.
He would have to get married, but to keep acting, it was worth it. Granted, he hadn't squandered the millions he had made on cars, or houses, or even charites, so if worst came to worst, he could live very comfortably on his own if he had to. But he was too restless to do that.
No, he'd marry Kikyou, and then divorce her when the time was right.
How bad could married life be?
Kagome fidgeted with the hem of her skirt. She was sitting in Kikyou's assistant's office and was nervous as hell.
Why was she doing this? The one play she had done on Broadway before she fell into obscurity had been torture. All the interviews, opening night, the press—that had driven her away from anything more than the occasional local play.
Doing this for Kikyou was like having all the baggage of an acting career without any of the perks.
Except you get to hang around with the oh-so-pretty Inuyasha. A little voice whispered in the back of her head.
'Right. Because a relationship is really what you need right now.' The other half of her brain reminded her.
Kagome sighed, leaning father back into her seat. Her last boyfriend had broken up with her a month ago, citing her devotion to her work was taking away from their time together. He didn't even let her try and explain that she was almost finished. Or that she had already been given a temporary leave from her research so the two of them could have time together. As if someone was telling her this, she shrugged her shoulders in response. At least it gave her a chance to do some acting, although helping Kikyou wasn't exactly her idea of fun. She let out another sigh, sinking deeper into the chair. Oh well, at least this way, she might be able to get out of paying Kikyou back for all the tuition she owed.
"Miss Higurashi?" A voice broke through her thoughts.
Looking up, she met the brown eyes of Kikyou's assistant.
"Good morning, I'm Sango," she stepped forward and firmly shook Kagome's hand. "Kikyou told me to take care of you. If you'll come this way." She opened the door from the waiting from to the main office. Kagome stepped in and immediately saw why Sango had lasted so long as Kikyou's assistant. The office was immaculately organized. No clutter whatsoever. On one side was obviously Sango's desk with its computer, mailboxes, telephone, neat cup of pens, a stack of Kikyo's face shots and business cards, and a small picture of a cat. On the wall next to the desk was a couch and two filing cabinets, while to leather chairs had been put to the desk's front. Looking over her shoulder as she took one of the chairs, she saw Kikyou's own office, half hidden by a partition jutting out not far from the fake plastic tree that was next to the couch. It was also neat, but mainly because it was so bare. Beside similar furniture set up, with the exception of the filing cabinets being replaced with a large television set in a wooden bookcase, the desk only had a few pencils, a tiny phone, and a framed photograph of her wedding. A high stack of scripts took up more space on the desk than anything else.
"So, Miss Higurashi, lets get started," Sango said with a friendly smile while she filled her cup of coffee from a maker that sat behind her desk and took her seat. She neatly folded her hands on the desk in front of her, keeping her back straight so that she looked like she was ready for a very important meeting. "Kikyou suggested we start with your schedule."
Kagome nodded. She felt rather dumpy in her sister's tidy sea-green office. She had thrown on a scruffy pair of jeans and faded sweater this morning when she left. Her patched jacket sat folded in her arms on her lap.
"Then maybe we can move onto wardrobe?"
Kagome nodded sadly. She couldn't do this. Trying to hide it from Sango, she reached up and brushed a tear away.
"Miss Hirgurashi? Are you alright?" Sango seemed genuinely concerned.
"I'm not sure I can do this…call me Kagome." She sniffled.
Sango drummer her long fingernails on then desk, and for a moment, Kagome thought that Kikyou's assistant was about to lose her patients. "Yes, you can. I've seen you act. This should be no problem for you." When Kagome looked up through her watery gaze, Sango was smiling warmly at her.
"You've seen me act?" Was the only thing Kagome could think to say.
"Actually, I've been quite a fan of yours for some time. I was really surprised when Kikyou sent me out last night to catch Twelfth Night. And there you were."
Kagome blushed. "I didn't know I had any fans."
"You were great playing Harperin Angel in America. 'Mormons can give blowjobs.' That was great!"
"That was one of my favorite plays," Kagome smiled.
"See, you won't have any problem playing you sister. You won't even have to do research on Mormons or Valum addicts!" Sango beamed, glad to see that Kikyou's little sister had relaxed. Her employer had warned that Kagome would be a nervous wreck. "Now," Sango began again pulling a large planner from a desk draw, "tonight is the premiere of 'The Accordion Player'." She looked down at the schedule. "And tomorrow is the Midnight Show, but Kikyou will handle that one." Looking back up, "Basically, you'll handle all appearances with Inuyasha and Kikyou will do all the solo promotions."
Kagome nodded. "So Inuyasha will be there tonight?"
"His limo will pick you up at seven."
Kagome sputtered. "He's picking me up? I live in a hole in the wall!"
Sango gave her a quizzical look. "You're Kikyou, remember? Kikyou lives in a three-acre estate. That's where Inuyasha's limo is going."
The color returned to Kagome's face. "Oh." She paused for a moment, before beginning again. "I've never been to my sister's house before."
"Don't worry, she's having your things moved as we speak. You'll be finished with you're clothes, hair, and make-up by 4:30, and then she'll have you picked up." Sango looked at her planner again. "She says you'll have the west wing all to yourself."
Kagome was doing an impression of a sheet again. "I'm moving into her house?" She whispered.
"She decided it would be best last night that lived at her address. In case you were followed, it would be suspicious. Why would Kikyou Higurashi be living in a starving students apartment?" Sango said. It would be so much easier if when Kikyou decided to make move her sister's residence that she told her in person.
"I guess she's right," Kagome shrugged. It would be nice to have a place with air conditioning and food other than Ramen.
"Now, you need a dress for tonight." Sango stood. She chugged down her coffee in a fairly unladylike manner. When she set the mug back down, she met Kagome's frightened eyes.
"I can barely make rent. What makes you think that I can afford a dress for the red carpet?"
"First of all, Kikyou would pay for it. Second, Kikyou doesn't have to pay for most of her clothes. Designers send her wardrobes by the boat. We just have to go to the clothing vault and pick something out. That and when the annoying T.V. people ask, you tell them the designer." Sango flashed her an encouraging smile, leading them out of the office and to the clothing vault.
A/N: Ok, remember if you like this fic, review it. I think I like it enough to keep it going, but the fact that this premise is so over used bothers me.
On the note of the gay club stuff, I'm not gay bashing. My best friend is gay and most of the stuff of that nature in this fic is from our exploits, stuff he says, and the movie Trick (hot guys, but it has Tori Spelling and I hate her. If her head were run over with a truck, I would laugh). Don't flame me over this. You can correct me if I say something you find offensive, but don't flame me if you are a homophobe. That is not a pet peeve, that is a deal breaker. I will hunt you down.
As with all my A/N, DO NOT critique them. I don't mind comments about my A/N, but I can't stand when I get criticism of any kind on an A/N, it pisses me off. I write the fanfic to get feed back on my writing. I write my A/N as a way to blow off steam, and therefore take it personally when I get a flame or near flame about one in a review.