My First Fanfiction. Suikoden all the way! This is based around McDohl and Kasumi during the Suikoden II storyline, starting after the defeat of Luca Blight. In the first Suikoden, Kasumi has a crush on McDohl but is too shy to say anything. I though it was cute X3

Anyway, this is what I have dubbed a McSumi pairing. Yes, I know it sounds like a McDonald's big value meal and I don't care XD

Besides, If I could order a McSumi at McDonalds I'd be a very happy fangirl lol.

Anyway, on with the story!

Sleep. Would it ever come? It seemed every time it was near McDohl's grasp it would laugh and slither away as if some cruel deity taunting him. Not only was it frustrating it was just simply unfair.

"I'm being mocked by the moon..." He decided begrudgingly as he sat up and ran a hand through his dark hair. The toasted skin of his chest modestly reflected the moonlight as he stretched out and got to his feet. "Since it can't sleep now, it won't let me...A cruelty that I'll try to make the best of." He loosely threw on his shirt and green bandana before silently exiting the room.

He reflected upon his day mildly as he soundlessly dodged passed the dozing door guard and paced down to the bottom floor. Riou, leader of the Freedom Army had come to him requesting assistance. McDohl had at first been a bit reluctant for reasons of his own, but with a bit of persuasion from Hix, Riou and -of all people- Clive, he found he couldn't decline. Thus he and Gremio had returned with them to the Castle.

The trip had been nice and the company pleasant but the night...was against him. His mind was a mess of thoughts and his body was restless, an irritating combination when one seeks sleep.

"A walk..." He reasoned to himself in an inaudible tone "It will clear my mind and perhaps even let me get some sleep...Which I think I must really need considering how much I am talking to myself." A faint drop of sweat trickled along his temple as he shook his head and continued onward.

The night air was wandering about slowly. It was crisp with autumn's chill breath and nipped idly at any person within its grasp. Silence was slaughtered by a flurry of slight noise created by frogs, crickets and the farm animals under Yuzu's care. McDohl found the chill inviting and the sounds a symphony. It induced memories of the travels him and Gremio had been on and how much he'd enjoyed the freedom it had bestowed upon him.

Comfortably, the young hero placed his hands behind his back and tilted his head to peer up at the sky. The moon was vibrant and full as the stars twinkled around it as if in constant competition with the lunar light. The stars reminded him of children, jumping and playing while trying to outshine or impress an older child represented by the moon. The cosmos above caused him to laugh silently and give a subtle smirk of suppressed glee. "The active calm..." His eyes sparkled with a nonchalant entrancement triggered by the night sky. It was a fascination that ran deep from his mind and into his soul that allowed for all other thought or worry to be pushed aside. He remained entwined in his enthrallment until his body connected with another.

McDohl immediately reached out to steady the one he had bumped into. At the same instant he had hold; he felt lithe hands grip his upper arm at an equal attempt to balance him. They succeeded in stopping one another from tumbling to the ground, however the position it had put them in looked as though they were amidst an intimate moment. Surprised, he peered down and his auburn eyes met equally shocked violet orbs. He recognized those eyes, so round and full of worry.


"M-master McDohl..." Her voice was quiet and trembled slightly. A moment passed slowly as they stared at one another, caught in a mindless blurb of time.

"Sorry." They both uttered suddenly and stepped away from one another, turning there backs in the process. McDohl rubbed the back of his neck and Kasumi fidgeted with her fingers as each held a blush on their cheeks and shared a silence appropriate to the awkwardness of the moment.

The first to recover was the young hero. He slowly peered over his shoulder at her and laughed quietly. "Kasumi, what are you doing up so late?"

Her response took awhile. Even with her vast Ninja training she found it hard to contain the blush that madly burned her face. "I was patrolling the castle...i-incase of a surprise attack."

"Really? But hasn't the Highland Army withdrawn?" His voice was calm and curious to divert her mind from their little run in. It worked and the Ninja faced him, her face serious.

"Hai. But until I am relieved of my duty, I will protect this castle to the best of my ability."

McDohl smiled though suppressed a chuckle. "So serious. Kasumi there are castle guards to do that. Even Ninja need to sleep."

"A Ninja doesn't sleep until her duties are done." Her eyes burned with the passionate sense of duty engraved in her mind.

"Alright." He wouldn't argue. He'd tried before and it only seemed to strengthen her ideals. He really didn't mind her strong-mindedness but she could sometimes go days without sleep or nourishment and it concerned him. "But, could you protect the Castle and walk with me as well?" Company wouldn't hurt. At least then he might be able to talk her into some rest

Kasumi found that she nearly choked up at the offer. "Anou...Hai." She hung her head timidly as they began down the cobblestone path never looking up at him. However his eyes seemed fairly content with looking at her.

He could see how she'd grown. After only 4 years she'd matured physically into a lithe, agile and attractive young woman though her height hadn't much changed. Past that, her mind he knew was sharper and less naive but still shy and evasive when in his presence. It made him smile, though sadly, knowing she'd changed and he hadn't. He was the same boy physically that he was the day Ted passed on the Soul Eater to him and such a fact constantly nagged at the back of his mind.

"What have you been doing all of these years, Master McDohl?" Kasumi asked suddenly, though her voice was full of the same timidness as her posture.

He was glad she would speak with him. "Nothing more than traveling Miss Kasumi."

"P-please Sir, you needn't call me 'Miss' "

McDohl smiled."Well, you needn't call me 'Master'..."

His comment was enough to make her look up. She stared at him with uncertainty and stumbled over words to say something coherent. His hand upon her shoulder silenced the gentle babbling and immediately caught her attention.

"Kasumi...We've known each other long enough. We've fought together, cried together, won together and lost together. You're entitled to leave off my title, alright?"

Again silence. At first he thought he'd insulted her, the way her face briefly cringed. Soon after however in changed into a small smile, something he'd never seen her do.

"Hai...Thank you Mas- McDohl." The young hero returned the ninja's smile and he could feel her shyness slip away a bit.

They continued their walk along the cobblestone path and back up through the castle. They decided to roam the upper level of the fortress, feeling it almost separate from the floors below. Quiet conversation passed between them concerning serious matters; the Highland army, Riou's leadership, the castle's defenses, etc. However, more trivial matters were tossed into the fray. They picked at old matters or kindly argued over whether the horrid taste of Mega Medicine was really worth the speedy heal. Such relaxed conversation led to smirks and laughter, something neither of them had encounter in a while. Their laughter was silenced as Shu came out of his room and glared rather violently. Looking at him only once, they quickly escaped his wrath.

"How have you been Kasumi?" He asked eventually after they had escaped Shu by strolling into the castle's garden.

She gave the question thought. "I returned to the hidden ninja village after the war. Master Hanzo asked that I help him govern the Ninja and I became his Vice commander..." A pause. "So I've been well, but... like everyone else from the Liberation Army, I was worried."

Kasumi's eyes were wide and shimmering with the reflection of concern once again. McDohl noticed immediately and instinctively took a short step back. "Was everyone really so worried?"

She didn't respond, only continued to stare at him with building emotion. Her eyes were enough to tell him the answer.

"I..." His voice trailed off quickly as his mind swelled and became overwhelmed. He hadn't meant to worry Kasumi...or anyone else for that matter. But if he'd stayed..."I couldn't stay."

The Ninja seemed discontent with his reasoning. "Why?" She asked as though it were the simplest yet most important question to answer. "Master McDohl... everyone, we're all like family! How could you just leave without a word?"

He diverted his eyes and turned to the side slightly. His eyes glanced briefly at the Soul Eater then narrowed before moving to settle on the horizon ahead. "...I could give you three reasons...Three reasons Kasumi to why I left. And perhaps a few are a bit selfish..." Dark bangs fell over his brownish orbs as he hung his head morbidly.

Kasumi shook her head. Normally she would leave him be, but now she would not. She wanted -no- needed to know why. "I don't care. Please tell me."

A part of him had hoped she would have gone. It would be much easier than telling her why he had abandoned everyone back in the Toran Republic. Such a thought made McDohl angry; not at her but at himself for even contemplating it. A sense of self loathing quickly washed over him as his hands clenched tightly at his side. "Freedom...My Freedom..." He whispered shortly without lifting his gaze.

His response confused Kasumi quite thoroughly. "What do you mean?"

The young hero took a deep breath to calm his emotions. "If I had stayed in the Toran Republic...Lepant and everyone else would have forced me to take power. I didn't want that Kasumi. Such a sheltered lifestyle after so many battles, and the danger I would put everyone in...I couldn't do it..." His voice trailed off slowly as he lifted his right hand to rest upon his chest. Silence gripped them both for a long moment leaving a sense of tension in the air. "and...If I had told anyone...they would have forced me to stay..."

At that moment McDohl felt alone. So horribly and thoroughly alone that almost nothing could penetrate the cage of isolation that surrounded him. It forced him to close his eyes in turmoil and let his mouth gap slightly in a silent cry of dissatisfaction and frustration. Everything swelled in the pit of his stomach and churned violently, rising his malcontent, morbid thought and dashed desires. His body began to quiver slowly forcing dry tears to sting his eyes and further waver the emotional wall he'd been maintaining for so long.

Warmth enveloped his arm as he felt nimble hands gently touch his bare skin. The quivering ceased as he opened his eyes slightly to look at Kasumi. Their eyes met and the young hero felt his unrest quell slightly even before she spoke.

"Master McDohl..." Her voice was soft and understanding as she entwined her arms around his and embraced it kindly. "I...wouldn't have asked you to stay..."

Now tears really did begin to pool within his pained eyes. Her embrace...her kindness...he could hardly bare it. "Aren't you angry with me Kasumi?...I abandoned everyone...I abandoned you..."

The ninja's head shook slowly, brushing her hair against his upper arm. "No. I think you did what you thought was right...and I can't be angry with you Master McDohl, as long as you're safe..."

"You..." He started but his voice caught on a sob. No words could describe what he felt then. "Kasumi!" He exclaimed quietly in a broken voice as he pulled her closer to him and embraced her without warning.

The garden was silent even as the chilled air blew. Fireflies danced slowly around the two warriors, moving to a soundless yet sad song conducted by the winds. The animals all fell silent to the moment; anyone sleeping briefly stirred in sorrow as if all could feel McDohl's suffering. Years of pent up turmoil and self suffering were being released by the Soul Eater's master only to be severed and torn away by Kasumi's presence. Every second he spent with her in his embrace calmed his being as though she balanced his emotions and brought peace to his mind.

A long while passed before he pulled away. His eyes were much calmer now as they stared at her the same way he'd so passionately stared up at the night sky when his night walk had began. Such a gaze made the young Ninja's knees want to buckle and her cheeks to flare with the heat of a blush.

"Kasumi..." He uttered lowly, his voice full of gentle gratitude yet still a hint of sadness. It grasped her heart and nearly made her fall against his chest once again.

"Y-yes...Master McDohl?"

A smile grazed McDohl's lips. His eyes begged her to not call him 'Master', wishing to be called something else.

Something more affectionate.


Without warning, his face creased with pain. He grabbed his right hand and fell to his knees, allowing his teeth to clench in agony as the Soul Eater rune flashed spastically.

"Master McDohl?" Kasumi gasped, her mind torn from the moment by the sudden event. Quickly, she dropped down next to him and cried out his name once more. "McDohl!"

He stared intensely at the rune upon his hand as his body began to quiver than shake. The world about him faded until he could only vaguely hear the sound of Kasumi calling to him though a mist of burning darkness. Horrific and miserable pain tore through every muscle in his body as a torturous sound rung about his mind. The Soul Eater was speaking to him, scolding his behavior. McDohl screamed agonizingly as the nails of his left hand dug into the wrist of his right, drawing forth blood. Despite this the Rune's speak ran about in his mind, warning him, and then punishing him with further pain. One final cry of incomprehensible pain left his lips before his body could no longer take the torture. He collapsed abruptly as his mind was sent into forlorn darkness.

"M-mcDohl!" Kasumi exclaimed as she fussed concernedly over his unmoving body. "P-please McDohl! Wake up!" Even her voice didn't reach him.

Half hysterical, the ninja forced herself to calm enough to think. She stood up quickly and pulled him onto her back. "Please be alright..." She whispered as she began to walk. He was heavy to her and awkward to hold, yet she went on. "Please..."

00 00 00 00

A methodic pull on his wrist brought McDohl suddenly out of his dead sleep. His eyes shot open and his arm pulled away from whatever grasped it. In a sleepy state of shock he reached for his staff while allowing his eyes to dart about frantically.

"Young Master! Please calm down!" Gremio fussed as he pushed on McDohl's shoulder forcing him to lie down once again. "Sir Huan is bandaging the wounds on your wrist."

The young warrior turned his wide eyes to stare at Huan then Gremio. A moment passed before he fully comprehended where he was. "The...medical ward?"

"Oh you can speak." Huan joked, kind-heartedly poking fun at McDohl's normal lack of words.

McDohl smiled shortly at him before relinquishing his wrist to its inevitable bandaging. He laid his head back down and soon the smile left, replaced by a tortured frown. The Soul Eater had caused him that pain as a warning. He was to stay away from Kasumi, its words made that very clear.

'Master...You shouldn't, and you can't...'
'You exist to live for eternity as long as you wield me.'

'To kill...'

'You are destiny...'
'No place for that girl'
'No affection'
'No place for love.'

"No place for love...?" He whispered almost inaudible as he allowed his face to cringe. Such a thought hurt him more than the wrenching pain he had just endured. "Kasumi..."

Gremio and Huan exchanged expressions quietly. Both had heard McDohl's words and though they were curious, they were much more concerned over the effect it had upon him.

"Your wrist is done Master McDohl." Huan said as he fastened the bandage. "I'll ask that to eat something now..."

"Yes Young Master." Gremio said hurriedly as he lifted a bowl of soup from the bedside table. "I insist you do." He had set the bowl in the young hero's lap before any protest could be made.

McDohl nodded slightly. "Thank you..." His voice was hollow now, almost void of feeling. Though his body no longer ached, he felt as though his heart had been severed.

The soup was eaten in a mechanical manner and set aside when only half finished. He removed himself from the bed though his eyes never left the floor. Despite Gremio's protest, McDohl left the room with slumped posture and an afflicted gaze.

'No place for that girl'

"Master McDohl!" Kasumi's voice tore through him like knives through butter. "Are you alright?"

He glanced briefly at her, unable to look any longer. His throat was dry and his lips nearly sealed as though speaking was the most horrid thing in the world. "Fine..." His words were acidic upon his tongue and flat in tone. He saw she was startled which only further tore him apart.

'No place for love'

Fearing his body would betray him is he stayed any longer; he set off at a dull march. Her fingers grasp his shoulder and he shrugged her off abruptly. "Just...Go away..."

Kasumi let herself gasp. Hurt and confused, she allowed a short whimper to leave her lips. "M-master McDohl..."

He was already gone, unable to bare it any longer.

'No place for love'

McDohl could constantly hear that phrase over and over in his mind. It nipped violently at his very being and angered him beyond belief. By the time he reached his room he was thrown into a fury that caused him to yell in frustration as he destroyed the table, chairs and bed before managing to grasp onto sanity once again.

'No place for love...'

He fell back against the door and let himself slide limply to the ground. His disheartened eyes focused mildly upon the shambles of the bed before a sardonic, sobbing laugh left his lips.

"Peace...will it ever come?"

A moment slithered by before he rested his head back against the door and closed his eyes. "Kasumi...I'm sorry..."

Well...umm there it is? Poor Tir McDohl...can he ever win?

This was originally a one shot, but my friend suggested I add chapters. What do you think?

I hope you enjoyed reading! R&R thanks X3

...Guess what? Annonymous reviews will be accepted now! I forgot to enable them before >>
Thanks for reminding me maskedgoomba, I owe you one for that