Some thieving never killed anyone.

When Matthew's mind decided to leave the world of dreams , it found itself lying on the centre of what seemed to be a busy street. Now , however , it was just a plain boulevard with a couple of houses which included the inn and the sheriff's office , and maybe a person or two. But , from Matthew's position , he could only see two inhabitants. One of the was pretty ugly , and the other one was playing with a yo-yo.

-Welcome to our town !You are indeed a very fortunate stranger to make it this time of the year . The snows usually cover all the accessible routes .-said a man sitting on a porch and smoking a pipe. He had a thick white moustache , and was quite a fat ass ( by Matthews judgement) . Standing near him was a Troll , dressed in shorts and playing with a yo-yo.

-Yep , I know that already. So , this is Spielburg - said Matthew .

I expected a little more of ….activity.

-Ja , people who come here also expect that.

-So , people DO actually come here by their own will- said Matthew . The man gave him a dreadful glance.

-Are you a Joker or what? But , if you didn't get it , I'm the sheriff of this town and he is Otto , my associate, so , don't go around asking for trouble or you and Otto will become really good friends.

-Nope , not a Joker , and neither a pervert who enjoys some "action" with a troll.

-It's a Goon.

-Whatever , I have come here to become the Hero of this place . Didn't you expect that?

-You? –said the Sheriff . Where did you come from?

-From Willowsby and if you excuse me , What place do you suggest me visiting the first?

-You..-repeated the sheriff. Go to the adventurers guild , there you will find some work- added the sheriff still amazed and disappointed at the same time.

-Ha –said Matthew , just you wait , I'm gonna turn this place the most important trading post of the eastern feuds.-and made an heroic pose , but something was missing. Something was horribly wrong , he had the feeling that his backpack became lighter . No , it was not that ,now, he hadn't a backpack. Good-bye rations , bye weapons , farewell dear money. But , a further crime scene investigation , ended up on one conclusion : he had been robbed while he was out of the cold on the centre of the plaza.

Matthew put his face in between his hands :

-What am I going to do?- he asked to himself . None of the Final Fantasy went through this experience , they simply killed creatures . There was no "one ring" he could sell (even if he had it with him , it would already been in someone other's grasp).

-What's up kiddo? Been robbed lately? – said the sheriff holding his laughter.

-Sonovabith –thought Matthew . It was his fault . Why the heck couldn't he keep this place out of criminals? It was his job after all .Now it was time to think : a) he had no money , was left trapped in a strange town and had a gang on his shoulders that wanted his blood. What would Christ ….no Tommy Vercetti do? But of course , revenge.

So , he walked down the street into the Adventurers guild (and not to buy the asset).

Inside , apart from the snoring geezer , there were some stuffed creatures and a warm fireplace. Matthew trained his stealth , he approached the desk and saw an ink bottle and the classical guest book. But , before he could even sign , his head shouted:

WAIT. It is your chance , man. Make yourself a cool name.

It was a pity , because his body reacted faster than his brain had expected and already wrote: Matthew .

Shit , well , a cool surname wouldn't be that bad . Well , well , Which one do I borrow?

Johnson ? Vercetti? Vance? Burton? Gates? Speed? Payne? Snake? Emmerich? Strife? Leonheart? Tidus? Cid? Akamatsu ? Urashima? Urameshi? Himura ? Makoto?Tenma? Bolson? Potter? Jaeguer? Majere? Brown? Langdon?

Nah , the best one was "Frostmourne" . Indeed .

But while Matthew was deciding , the ink had run dry.

Once he had signed , he approached the old man. He was still sitting there. But , had to wake up upon the upcoming hero trainee.

-Ah , hello , welcome to the guild , make yourself just like at home.-he said and continued with his endless sleep.

Our hero sighed . Was this the best this valley had to offer ? This dumper sure needed a hero and fast . He couldn't get any info from this punk , so he headed straight to the advertisements board. There was only one ad that looked recent : about some lost ring and some healer. All the other ones were about brigands and lost kids. But , when someone is in need of money , he can take whatever job comes by. First of all , nothing dangerous , he was unarmed and second nothing difficult (he also was not the brightest pea of the pod). He left the adventurers guild disappointed.

What could he do to earn some cash fast?

But , while he was lost inside his thoughts . Somehow , he ended up entering an eerie building with an eye on its door.

-What da hell am I doing here? –he thought

But before he could react , a cloud of magic powder crossed the northern part of the shop and something hot appeared. She was a red-head elven that wore a purple tunic to make a contrast with her reddish eyes.

-Welcome to my store. My name's Zara . I am sorry to tell you this but my establishment is only for those initiated in the mysterious art of the arcane , so , please , I must beg you to leave.-she said

-Wait , I have magical skills .They are a bit rusty , but , I indeed posses them.

-I need a proof.

-Here it comes-said Matthew , concentrated his skills and remembering Edward Elric , he clapped his hands and pressed a nearby metallic statue with his right palm. The statue was now charged with electricity .

-See?-said the young mage

-Well , I apologize , but , by any chance , do you have enough to afford a spell?

-How did you know that?

-Just intuition.


-Yes , and , because I can determine by your ragged clothes that you are not in possession of enough funds right now.

-Can't you put it in my account ?

-No –she said coldly

-Ok ,I leave. But next time, I hope that you have more than just frog legs and bat wings to sell me.-and he left with a deadly expression . This was just betting better and better.

IneedmoneyIneedmoneyIneedmoney-was thinking our poor slob.

And ,so concentrated was he analyzing his current situation , that , he was not even looking where he was heading. When he returned to his senses , he was starring at a dead end.

-Alms ! Alms for the poor!


-Alms !Alms for the poor!


-DAMMIT! I SAID ALMS FOR THE POOR! CAN YOU SPARE ANY DAMN CHANGE!-shouted infuriated Matthews equal but , poorly dressed.

-Ah , yeah , of course. Do you also want the combination to my safe? Listen , buddy , I'm just like you-he said and sat near him . The only difference is that you are a professional in your business and I have just begun.

-Another victim, huh?

-Yep ,how's business and have you heard any "latest"?

-Alms ! Alms for the poor!

-Hey buddy . I 'm new around here and I don't have a f silver so ,please , can you spare any help?

-Wow , It's been a while since I've seen someone so desperate guess that I could do you a favour.

-Thank you , and now , can you answer my first question?

-Yes . There are no news , but things are at a critical situation .Thieves are competing against the brigands and a whole hell broke loose with this war.

-And when a war begins , the only thing you can do is to chose a side .

-And which side do you chose?

-The one farther to the darkness.

-And that would be?

-The one that assures that you will have a home wherever you go. That will be your home when you're far away from home.

-Then I Welcome to the thieves guild , my friend –said the beggar and smiled . My name's Sam.

- Matthew Frostmourne . So , was all this just a setup for me to join your ranks?

-I don't like the word "setup" , but you indeed have a great potential. It would be a pity if it was not trained.

-Then you may know where my belongings are .


-Don't make a fool of me . I woke up and I discover that my backpack is too light. I already can guess that you have been following me all day and that makes you suspicious. So, it's the best thing for you to start talking.

-Listen to me , my man . You are about to enter one of the most sacred brotherhoods . We never steal from our own .

-Yes , but , I was not part of the family yet .And I doubt I am now.

-We've got eyes and ears everywhere , just remember how you got into town. It was sunset and the gates were closed for 20 minutes then , you appeared climbing the wall next to the gate and falling asleep into the centre of the plaza. We made our own speculations, you know.

-Why do I have the feeling that you are the only "eyes" and "ears" around here .

-That's up to you , but , the unanswered question is :are you in or out?

-Just one more thing : if it was not you , then who?

-Ah , that's a grave problem we've been suffering . There are some leaks in our brotherhood but we're making investigations, don't worry.

-I don't believe your story but the sensible man would put down such an offer so I accept.

-The sensible man would have never entered this alley.

-Bingo and how did you know I was a thief?

-I saw you stealing a potion from the faerie.

-Faerie ?

-Zara , she's from the faerie folk somewhere to the East.

-I thought she was elven.

-Elven? Kid , all the elvens died nearly 200 years ago and the ones who survived , departed on a journey across the seas.

-You seem to know a lot to be just a rat. You talk like a qualified spy.

-I prefer the term "retired thief extraordinaire ".

-And why are you working like this? Being a rat for the local guild is quite a disgraceful job for a master thief like you-said Matthew with sarcasm

-All my funds are in Simaria . When a hero appears , I shall finally leave this dreadful career and begin my never-ending vacation.

-Maybe it will be sooner than you imagine .

-Thieving and "heroing" are two different matters . I think that you must choose between the two of them .

-I can always be an honourable thief .

-You dream , my friend. Look at me , I also wanted to earn cash rapidly and begin a prosperous career which involves moving a lot of money and all that without harming anyone . But those are just dreams . I killed for miseries and brought disgrace to people , myself included . Now I just want to earn enough with my begging to pay myself a pint.

-Dreams can come true , you just have to work hard on them.

-Work hard !-shouted the beggar . I am half way dead here because I was in pursuit of a dream .

-Chill-said Matthew and got up . Listen , no one's life is a bed of roses but , you've done your part and now it's my turn . I shall earn money whatever way I can , equip myself, and begin my personal fight and I'm gonna give a kick in the butt to those bastards who stand in my way ! So people like you ."Victims" as they are called ,can continue in pursuit of their dreams , because , that's what a hero is. A wild card for those who are in bad situation. So tell me , how can I enter the guild?

His voice was convincing enough to make an entire army surrender .

-Well , I don't know it . I always receive my work and my pays outside the guild. 50 silver coins for every member I get to join.

-Hmm , right . I'm going to do my own researches about the matter. See ya .

-Same to you , my friend. Here have my old lock pick, I used it a while ago and kept it as a memento. –said the beggar and added . "Don't drink the Dragon's breath".

Our hero got out of the alley and decided to go down the second road he found.

Matthew had already cleared his mind enough to continue . Where do criminals usually hang ? Prison? No.

He had already answered the question while entered a bar filled with low-lifers and hired muscles.

When the young thief made his entrance nobody paid attention to him . So , out of ideas he moved up to seat on a nearby stool.

-Yes what do you want –bluntly said the barman rather than asked .

-Answers .

-It looks like you didn't get it , kid. Here we only serve drinks.

-I am thirsty indeed , but thirsty for blood. I need some answers and it looks like you're just the right man to dispense them.

-When you decide what do you want to drink , you call me –said the barman and left.

Matthew sighed again. Things were complicating too much . He wasn't planning to join a criminal organization , but he did . He was not supposed to get robbed , but it happened. And he was not supposed to be in a parallel universe , but he was. Sometimes, things were just too difficult. When he was about to stand and leave , he noticed that under his stool was a note . He ducked and picked it up.

"He is starting to get suspicious . Hold off our meetings for now . I'll keep you posted by these notes . –B"

Well , well . Looks like Sam was right , there were leaks in the guild. Now , off to the guild . Let's analyze the situation . There are some card players , some drunks and a large goon standing on a trapdoor. Man , this is just too easy – thought Matthew and approached the goon.

-Thieves guild –said Matthew

-What's da passwoid ?

-I am a thief.


-Let me in.

The goon didn't think twice , he grabbed our hero and threw him out of the tavern . Luckily he landed on something soft , that ended up being trash. The problem of such loyal idiots it's that they carry out orders with too efficiently. Maybe a bribe . But that leads us to the main problem.

Sun already had set , but that didn't matter , our hero wouldn't stop until he got in the guild. But right now he needed info and that meant Sam.

It was already dark outside and when he reached Sam's usual spot he saw the most beautiful scene he could even dream of . A gold coin lying on the ground . It was the proof that God existed. He ran for it . But when he could even react , his arm was twisted and he was facing a wall. God existed , but he didn't like Matthew.

-He , this old trick caught your eye , greedy boy? The fluorescent wooden coin . It's something that will make us really rich . Ain't that right Frank?

Frank just nodded.

As our moneyless hero could hear , there were two thieves . One of them was the boss and the other one the strong silent type.

-Listen to me . I've got a dagger up your back . Give me all your money and someday we will both laugh at this.


-What's so funny?

-You've made two mistakes . One : I've already been robbed , you're late . And two –he got out of his pocket the lock pick – you are trying to steal from the wrong guy.

-What ? The first victim we had in months and it ends up being a thief?

-Sorry , pal .

Frank had let go of Matthew's arm. And our hero started rubbing his wounded limb.

-Listen-said the boss- we are going to let you go but next time we shall kill you on sight.

Got it?

-Wait a second . Can you tell me the password for the guild.

-It's Shwertfisch. And this one is an extra. When you think there's a thief nearby make the thieves sign. Rub your belly with your left hand and with your right hand extended wangle it at the height of your nose.

-Something like this?

-You catch things quickly , now , scram.

And with a lot more confidence , Matthew entered again the decoy tavern.



The goon rose from his seat and Matthew thought for a second that he was a goner , but ,then , the goon opened a trapdoor beneath him and moved the hand saying come in fast.

Our hero descended the ladder only to find a secret room which held what looked like stolen treasures , and a man which looked like the boss around there. Quite fat , with a round face , a black moustache and some years of a professional thieving career. He stood from his chair and up to Matthews sight started blabbering.

-Beginners –he said – Why do they only bring me beginners ? A man of my experience and abilities why has to stay in this god-forsaken valley only receiving death seekers.

-Death-seekers?-asked Matthew with a worried expression , but his words were in vain.

-I was one of the 20 magnificent…-continued the chief but no one was paying attention to him.

After 15 minutes , the chief got back to his senses and asked the soon-to-be-thief :

-So , welcome to the guild . A membership around here costs 25 silver . With it you can assure some life insurance and the right to use this pace as a hideout , not to mention , of course , the possibility to fence any stolen items .

-Err , can I put the license into my account?

-You don't have any account. And I must guess that you don't have any cash with you.

-That's right.

-Get outta here , punk. Unless , of course , you want to try your luck with my favourite game. But , if you loose , the consequences will be terrible.

-I listen.

-Then good . You don't have any money , so you can bet your freedom. That's right , if you loose , you shall be my slave.

-I've got nothing to loose.

-Excellent , then the game consists in dagger throwing. Two times you , two times me , 3 rounds . Are you in or out?

Bet my freedom , that's crazy , but I see no other way of getting money . Damn. Well , nothing to loose means nothing to loose. I played darts , It is not that different.

-Okay you start –said Matthew and the chief threw both daggers pretty close to the bulls' eye. I think that will be pretty difficult to overdo.

-Just sit and relax-said our hero as he threw his daggers at a light-speed and both of them closer to the centre than the chief's.

- Hmm , not bad. But I am an expert.-and with these words said , he threw the daggers . That put him on the lead of the competition.

Without a word , Matthew threw his round of daggers , that hit closer to the centre , but on a white square , so , it was a tie.

-Well , let's get this finished –said the chief as he threw his daggers . One of them went god knows where. While the other hit straight in the centre.

Now , Matthew wasn't talking. He was a state of pure concentration. No words ,just action. He got his weapons. He had to do a double hit in the centre. No words. Everything went slow-motion. Still, no words. He got both daggers with one hand , went to the wall opposite to his objective .No words. Everything was slower than usual.

He ran , jumped , threw both daggers with one hand , landed and closed his eyes. And no words were pronounced. When he opened his eyes , he saw the chief's face and the two other thieves' face . All of them had the same expression. Astonishment.

Both daggers , thrown with the same hand .Landed on the centre with such a force , that they made the chief's one jump out of the board. There was a clear winner.

-OK- said the chief still astonished by Matthew's movement . Here ,you can have your license.

All right!-thought our winner. I have just beaten a master thief on his own terrain and also received a passport into the professional thieving.

-1313? – he asked.

-It's a lucky number-said the chief.

-Well , whatever . Hmm, Where did those goons come from?-he asked pointing to the two thieves that were watching their duel.

-Ah , that's Boris , he fences articles and Bruno , a skilful comrade .

-Hi-said Matthew looking naïve

Boris went into the room where articles were fenced and Bruno simply got away through the trapdoor.

Well , now I'm going for my first job- thought Matthew.

-Where are you heading ?-asked the chief

-The night's still young and I need some action.

-Then try the old geezers house . It's near the adventurers guild .

-Sorry, too easy.

-Listen , do whatever you want ,1313, but , try to avoid the sheriff's house.

Of course! The sheriff. That bastard was indeed responsible for our thief's loss. And he only laughed at him. It was payback time.

-Hey , chief, I've got a question: Do you have any influence on the justice system around here?

-If what you ask is if we try to bribe the sheriff. You're wrong. That sonovabith it's on the brigand's payroll.

The night wasn't as young as Matthew thought it would be , but there was still time to break some havoc. Time to get moving.

Our favourite thief was running like a shadow in between the buildings until he reached the house next to the Adventurers guild . His black jeans and T-shirt were a perfect way of staying out of sight.

Lets start the party- thought our hero while he was pick locking the old ladies house . A successful "click" could be heard on the door. That was a good start.

He got in , stepping carefully on the old wooden floor. The house was well furnished with lots of great things to steal. First of all, the couch on the back left wall. Some silvers .

Then the basket near the couch . Big prize! A pearl collar .

Then, the candlesticks on the drawer. My goodness, they are silver.

And , finally , the drawer. Just one silver . Old greedy geezer.

Now the getaway.

Close the door ,turn this…. , up… , down…., insert…. , bingo ! locked.

Ah , my first major raid-thought Matthew as he was going back to the guild . The robbery only took him 15 minutes , but , the tension made it look like ages . The house had two floors . Why didn't he get up to the second floor? Maybe it was common sense or maybe cowardice. Well , he had arrived at the front entrance to the tavern but , when he was about to enter the establishment , he turned his back to it and went into the opposite direction . He went to the rich boulevard . And got his tool prepared to enter the rich and decorated house that stood above the rest . The house whose mailbox was signed by the name of "Sheriff Shultz Mendelssohn".

-Hmm , the lock looks quite sophisticate –thought Matthew . This would be a challenge.

Insert , more , more…..up here,……hold…….. …..shit…….insert,…..up,…..down,…..up,….hold,….insert,….right,….hold,…..turn,….Yessssssss.

The success tasted better than an orgasm , and the steps were quite similar. But now , the fact that our hero was getting better and better was a reality . Now, time for retribution.

Dear Lord. The sheriff had been receiving bribes for a long time . But , Matthew would never had thought that they were such large quantities. That wasn't a house , it was a palace. Ok , time to begin.

First the candelabra on the dresser. Gold ones , hmm , corrupt bastard.

The dresser , one silver , better than nothing.

Then , the box on the coffee table.

Nice box . Wha…Shut up you dammed piece of ….hmm ….nice piece…could it be a sapphire?

Some thuds were coming up to his direction , it was Otto in his pyjamas.

-Otto , shut that music box and go to sleep-could be heard from upstairs.

-Holy Father that thou art in heaven……-started Matthew as the goon was approaching.

The goon got there, closed the music box , and returned to his room closing the door afterwards. It was too stupid or too sleepy to notice our hero.

-Holy Father , I owe you one- thought Matthew and put the music box in his backpack.

Now , move to the painting , ..nice vase.. it could be worth a beer.

Move the painting , I am the best , now time to crack the safe. How did you crack a safe? Remember the manual .Ah.

Matthew got the vase , pressed it against the safe , with one hand he was holding it with his ear pressed against the bottom of the vase , while with the other he was trying combinations. Because this was not a high-class safe from Matthew's world , he could easily detect the combination, get the bag of money, close the safe , put the painting again on its place and get away without alarming anyone.

-Now , the goods , the guild cut , the tax , the quality , the damage , the quantity …….

I think that this will do –said Boris and gave him a bag of money . The transaction has finished. Until next time – he said acting professionally .

-Hey Boris , Can you give me that toolkit around there ?

-50 silvers .


-Thank you and good-bye.

Was he a thief or a shop clerk? No matter. The toolkit had everything that you could only dream of . Every single hook and lock pick for every single lock. Now I could start a nice career as a gangsta. Carl Johnson will be a shadow compared to me.

-Hey , kid-shouted the chief- If I were you , I would lie low for a while, just until things calm down a bit.

-Ok- he gave as a response.

It was true he had enough money to live happy for a while . But ,what was his main point in coming here? Become a hero . This money would be used to get new and better equipment. And then free this land from the sorrows it suffered .

But now , I'm hungry , thirsty , sleepy , dirty and some more adjectives –was Matthew thinking while he was going down the street. He got into the market by accident , but , this kind of accidents were the lucky ones.

-Hey , sweetheart , give a couple of that ….and some of that and a canteen of water.

-Here you have , sir-said the girl working there , that to our lover boy's disgrace was not a girl , but a centaur.

Our hero also entered the dry goods shop .

-Give me some of those rations and three daggers.

-Ah so you are an adventurer , I always wanted to be one but , I lived a different life. But I sure read a lot. I can also see by your clothing that you're from far away…

-Yep , I would also like to discuss that ,but, I gotta go.

Once he had spent the earliest morning shopping like a teenager , now he had seated on the same plaza where he was sleeping yesterday and started having his newly acquired breakfast.