Disclaimer: I own diddlysquat. Inuyasha is not one of my prized possessions. But you never know! -evil snicker-
…I hafta apologize for not updating sooner again. Ooo, shame on me. I always take forever, don't I?
Chapter Nine ...The Harry Potter Dream
"What is going on...?" Kagome was utterly bewildered.
There, in the flesh, being chased by Inuyasha, was Cheerful Inuyasha. But how was that possible? Roku had plainly undone the curse. But he was a demon, and certainly not one to be trusted. Could he have lied? Yes, Kagome decided, that had to be it. What other logical explanation could there be?
"I'm going to get you for this, you little twit!" Inuyasha yelled, chasing wildly after his cheerful other personality.
"Wait!" Kagome cried, wiping smudges of the permanent marker off her face. "Inuyasha, hold on a sec! Doesn't this whole thing seem...odd to you?"
Inuyasha paused to look Kagome's direction before realization came over him. He pointed his finger at cheerful Inuyasha in surprise.
"Y--you!" he stuttered. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be gone!"
As Cheerful continued rampaging about creating as much chaos as possible, Kagome and Inuyasha remained stumped. "Maybe Roku lied," Kagome suggested.
"But I felt them join with me again," Inuyasha protested, "so..."
"WHEEEEE!" Cheeful leapt gleefully around Inuyasha, irritating him purposely. "LA, LA, LA! I HAVE A KIIIIIIITTY!"
Kagome was stumped, as was Inuyasha. How was this possible? What was going on? Cheerful Inuyasha wasn't concerning himself with the problem at all, so maybe he knew what was going on. Well, it was worth a shot.
"Cheerful Inuyasha?" she called. "Erm...how are you...here?"
"Here?" Cheerful stared in confusion.
"Yeah. Weren't you supposed to be...absorbed back into your original self by Roku?"
Cheerful cocked his head, still confused. Kagome sighed. How could she get through to him? She needed an answer, and he might've been able to tell her. That is, if he'd stop singing about cats first.
"Listen, you," Inuyasha snapped, picking his cheerful double up by the back of his collar. "We need to know why you're still here, and you're going to tell us."
Cheerful gave him a thoughtful look and then shrugged. "I dunno what you mean. ...MY WIDDLE KIDDY IS SO--"
"SHADDUP! Geez, do I have to hear your stupid mouth open every second of every day?"
Kagome and Inuyasha jumped in surprise. Who had said that? Could it have been Miroku, San--hey! Where were Miroku, Sango, and Shippo? They had been right there next to them a few moments ago. Something just wasn't right.
"But Angry...it's such a fun song..." Cheerful Inuyasha said with a grin.
Kagome did a double take. "A-Angry! Is he here, too?"
As if on cue, angry Inuyasha stepped in. He, like cheerful Inuyasha, seemed to come out of nowhere.He was expressing himself with his usual irritated scowl, and he didn't seem to find it odd that he hadn't been absorbed back into normal Inuyasha's body.
"What is going on here?" Kagome wondered out loud, flabbergasted.
Cheerful shrugged again. "Who knows...can I sing now?"
"No!" Angry snapped.
Cheerful Inuyasha gave his best hurt puppy dog look and skulked.
Kagome's mind was filled with questions, all of them wanting to pour out at once. Where were her friends? Why were the Inuyashas around still instead of absorbed back into their original form? What was that thing hurdling her direction? ...Wait! Something was hurdling her direction? Oh, crap!
Kagome groaned and sat up. She remembered being knocked out somehow, but it was all blurry in her mind. Where was she? She rubbed her sore bottom. Hm. She must have fallen and hit it, she guessed.
As her vision cleared, her mind became less foggy. She finally took in her surroundings. What she saw made her eyes widen in shock. This place was familiar, but not in a normal sense. She was in a castle-like place with moving portraits on the walls and torches lighting the passages. There was a black coat of armor a littleways down the hall, too. Strange...was the coat of armor...moving? Kagome squinted her eyes and tried to get a better look at the thing.
It's eyes glowed a golden color, sly and cruel. They sent shivers up Kagome's spine.
Wait! Coats of armor didn't have eyes! What in all the world was going on?
Kagome stood up as quickly as her shaky legs would allow. She hastily tried to conceal herself from those horrifying eyes by standing flat against the wall. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she breathed slowly.
The eyes approached slowly, ever so slowly...
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kagome let out a scream so loud she nearly killed her own eardrums.
She then saw who was in front of her. Cheerful Inuyasha. She sighed, feeling foolish, knowing her imagination had gotten the best of her. She had scared herself silly.Questions about this strange place popped into her mind, and who else did she have to ask about them then cheerful Inuyasha?
"Er...how did we get here?" she asked awkwardly. "Cheerful?"
Cheerful Inuyasha grinned and cocked his head in his usual way, and then he said, "I dunno. Guess what, though! I'm a kitty!"
Kagome sighed. "You're still going on with that cat ga--whoa!"
She gave her peppy friend another look, and what she saw made her head spin in shock. Cheerful was really a cat! He was a neko, to be more specific. He had a silver tail, paws, and ears that now looked more catish. Kagome was puzzled. Since when did dogs change into cats? Was it something he ate? Like...like a magic mushroom or something?
"Y-you're really a...a cat," she stammered, unsure of herself and quite taken aback.
Cheerful put his hands--um, paws--on his hips. "That's what I've been trying to tell you! Meow! Meow! I'm a widdle kitty witty!"
Kagome was speechless. Now she was beyond confusion. This simply didn't make sense.
And it didn't get any better when another Inuyasha came along. This time, it was crybaby Inuyasha.
Kagome covered her ears. She knew that cry from anywhere. "Crybaby Inuyasha?" she called out.
"BOO-HOOOOOOO!" Crybaby sobbed, running down the halls into Kagome's comforting arms. "It's gonna get me!"
"Uh..." Great. Just what Kagome needed: more chaos. "What is?"
Cheerful Inuyasha licked his paw clean (um...interesting), and crybaby Inuyasha cowered behind Kagome. Kagome was pale and sweaty, still not knowing what to make of the situation. It was all a puddle of nonsense.
"C'mere, you, so I can drop water balloons on y--oh, hello, Kagome." Floating in midair was a transparent version of perverted Inuyasha.
"AAAHHHHH!" Kagome couldn't take it anymore. "None of this makes sense! What's going on here?"
Normal Inuyasha (wearing glasses and in his human form, oddly enough) and scaredy Inuyasha (holding up a broken stick-like object) appeared and both grinned at her.
"Hi, Kagome," they both said at once. "Did you hear about the Howler yet?"
Kagome stared, finding her temper raise. "This isn't funny!" she yelled with a very distinct glare. "Stop joking around and let's get going looking for the Shikon jewel!"
Normal Inuyasha looked confused. "Did you eat a bad Bertie Bott's bean or something?"
Kagome stared. Did she just hear him say...no, no way. He didn't even know what Harry Potter was. Then how...?
"Well, anyway," scaredy Inuyasha blabbed, "Naraku gota howler from his folks. Apparently they aren't too hap--oh! My wand's doing it again!"
His stick was making a weird crackling sound and starting to emit bubbles. Everyone backed away from it.
"Perverted Inuyasha! I'll get you for what you did to my wand!"scaredy Inuyashasaid fiercely. Then, in a quieter tone, he said meekily, "Just don't hurt me."
Perverted Inuyasha "hmphed" and floated closer to Kagome, who promptly edged away from him. Whatever was happening was waaaaay too weird for her.
"I thought your wand would be more useful as a toilet plunger," perverted Inuyasha said with a mischiveous shrug. "Moaning Myrtle reported that you sure do go all out in the bathroom, after all. My spell just didn't quite work. That's all."
Normal Inuyasha stifled a laugh. "A toilet plunger? Oh, that's rich."
Kagome dully stared. What kind of trick had Naraku--or Roku--sent upon them now? And why did it have to be so odd? At least he could have made her last moments in the living world make sense. Was that too much to ask for?
"MEOW! MEOW! FEED ME!" Cheerful announced, jumping into Kagome's arms. He may have been a neko, but he hadn't changed in size or weight. Kagome toppled to the ground from the intense weight leaping upon her. Boy, she hadn't been expecting that.
"F-feed you? Don't tell me--Kibbles and Bits," Kagome said sarcastically, wishing this situation would just go away.
"Don't feed him anything," Crybaby pouted with a scowl. "He's a meanie."
Kagome wished a cinderblock could magically fall from the sky and land on top of her. At least she would be able to rest in peace then. She sighed, knowing she didn't actually wish that but wanted something to happen in her favor nonetheless.
She crouched down on the ground, rubbing her temples. She really needed a physcologist.
Suddenly, theroom's lights (the flames) dimmed and went out. Kagome groaned.
"AHHHHH!" scaredy Inuyasha screamed, wimpy as always.
"MEOW! WHEEE! Let's playflashlight tag!"
"Hm...this would be a nice opportunity to get some butt-touching on Kagome..."
"WHAT WAS THAT!"
"No one'stouching anything of Kagome's!"
"Wahh! Stop yelling!"
THUMP! Kagome swacked someone (she had a good hunch who) for groping her behind. The lights remained out, a clear creator of massive confusion. Kagome guarded her private parts well, fearing for what could happen next.
Suddenly, a bright light appeared, blinding Kagome. She found herself on the ground outside. She sat up, befuddled, and shook her head.That's when she noticed the six pairs of golden eyes on her.
"Uh..." Her mind gradually cleared. "Cheerful! You're not a cat anymore!"
Normal Inuyasha helped her to her feet, giving her a wild look. "Well, of course. What are you--"
"Perverted Inuyasha! You're not floating!" Kagome's bewilderment grew more intense.
"Kagome? I see you are awake." Miroku stood above her, along with Sango and Shippo.
"Mir--Miroku? Sango? Sh--Shippo? I--I don't understand...where were you?" She remembered them being missing, and yet, here they were in the flesh standing in front of her.
"Oh." Sango's face reddened slightly. "Shippo had to go to the bathroom."
"And so did I." Miroku grinned mischieviously and wrapped his arms around Sango's waist.
Sango's face was bright red now. "Get off!" she exclaimed, hiding her face. "What you did back there wasn't funny!"
Kagome looked at her demon-hunting friend promptly, but what she saw in her expression made her resist asking what had happened.With Miroku the culprit, anything could've occurred...anything.
She, instead, asked about her own condition. "What happened before with the wands and the Howler and--"
"What are you talking about?" Angry Inuyasha stared at her as if she was talking jibberish. "You blacked out.when I threw your backpack at Cheerful but hit you on accident."
"You were there for a few hours," Cheerful agreed. "You kept muttering something about Kibbles 'n Bits."
Kagome was relieved. "So that explains it. It was all a dream."
Well, that was certainly good news. Harry Potter's and Inuyasha's world hadn't mixed after all.
"C'mon." Angry yanked her up. "We've got to get going now."
Kagome gasped. "I sense a jewel shard!"
Normal Inuyasha nodded. "That's exactly why we have to hurry up and leave."
They prepared to leave quickly and went on their way. They would have to put their Roku problem aside for now, because collecting the jewel shards came first.They trodded on solemnly to the east where the next shard lay close by, anticipating interesting results.
They soon came across the sound of drum beats, which, as a result, made them duck behind a grouping of berry bushes. They watched keenly with great interest to find the source of the noise. They soon caught sight of some hideous demons parading up the path, carrying drums made of animal skins (ew).
"Yuck." Cheerful Inuyasha stuck out his tongue. "They look like dried up three-year-old prunes."
Angry Inuyasha covered his mouth hastily. "Shush! Do you want to get caught and eaten alive?"
He added the eaten alive part for effect only, and it did the trick. It also made scaredy Inuyasha quiver.
The ugly, bare-skinned, gray and brown demons (all twenty-five or so of 'em) continued to march on by. They didn't seem to notice the observers behind the bushes.
"Do you sense the jewel shard with them?"normal Inuyasha inquired.
"No," Kagome responded. "It's further east, beyond these guys...or girls or whatever sex they are."
"Let's wait for them to pass," Shippo said, trying to conceal his trembling.
"We don't have time for that!" Angry snapped.
The demons suddenly halted. Inuyasha and the gang hastily quieted, fearful of detection. They eavesdropped on what the demons had to say, hoping they didn't know of the them behind the bushes.
"I smell something..." the seeming leader said. "I smell...the stench of a half-breed."
He narrowed his eyes and looked about his men. They all looked innocent enough.
"We did not bring any half-blood meat along with us," one man said quietly. "Could we have an imposter?"
"Hm. We will wait a moment. If nothing comes, we will move on."
Kagome remained very still and quiet, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. She prefered to avoid confrontation with these demons at all costs. The others were very quiet as well, thank goodness.
But suddenly, crybaby made a sharp sound. "Ah--"
"No!" Kagome hissed quietly, realization coming over her. Crybaby Inuyasha had to sneeze. If he managed to do it, they'd be found out for sure!
Everyone grew tense. The demons on the trail perkered their ears up. Oh, no! Had they heard...?
"Ah--" Crybaby sighed. He seemed to be content,and he didn't look like he'd sneeze anymore. Kagome let out a breath of relief. That had been a close one.
Suddenly, however, cheerful Inuyasha leapt from the bushes. The demons looked over in surprise.
"Cheerful, what are you d--" Kagome was shocked. Was he crazy?
Cheerful Inuyasha grinned, oblivous to the deadly glares of the prune-ugly demons. His smile reached from ear-to-ear, and he looked like an awkward idiot. I guess appearances sometimes aren't so deceiving after all.
And then, under the clear sky, he asked loudly, "Do you guys have any Kibbles 'n Bits?"
A/N: Okay, here you go! Geez, it took me long enough to write this, no matter how short it is (sorry)... But here you go! Please review! I'll...uh...update eventually! (No, really...I'll do my best.) o.O
NEXT CHAPPIE: Captured by the Prune-Gits
Side story time: What Really Happened with Sango and Miroku
(Shippo, Sango, and Miroku trot through the forest to find a good peeing location.)
Shippo: "Hurry! I'm gonna wet myself!"
Mir (matter-of-factly): "Be patient. We have to find a nice, concealed place."
(reaches slowly for Sango's bottom)
San: "I don't think so!" (THWACK!)
Shippo (staring at puddle beneath him): "Uh..."
(Sango keeps lecturing Miroku.)
Shippo (still standing over yellow puddle): "Er..."
(Miroku persistantly keeps coming for Sango.)
Shippo: "Hmph. Idiots." (moves away)
(Miroku slips in puddle, falls flat on his face in it. Sango is on top of him.)
Kag (sweatdrop): "I'll bring diapers next time..."