The Trials and Tribulations of a Dalek in Tubbyland
Note: If you have already read 'Teletubby Bye Bye 2', you will know that a Dalek commits suicide over talking with an Insurance salesman. These are the events leading up to this horrific moment. I would recommend you to read Bye Bye 2 first.
The Dalek is sleeping in his box/house when suddenly…
Warning Warning. Rabbit is escaping. Warning Warning, neutralize at once. Dalek, please report for duty.
'Exterminate! Exterminate!' exclaimed the Dalek as it woke from it's deep sleep. 'Target acquired. Exterminate!'
The Dalek trundles to the center of the tubbydrome when… 'Elevate!'. The Dalek floats up through the hole in the roof. It observes the terrain and swivels round.
'Exterminate!' The rabbit disappears in a puff of smoke. The Dalek's internal thermometer tells it that it is 3 degrees Celsius, the normal temperature for the 25th of December. It notices that the teletubbies are carrying a tree towards the tubbydrome.
'Warning! Warning! Do not bring that tree in the tubbydrome! You will get needles on t'shagpile! I will exterminate you!'
The teletubbies continue
'That's it! Exterminate! Darn, I missed!' The Dalek has hit the tree and it has disappeared. The teletubbies are looking for it, being rather stupid.
'I try to keep our environment clean and tidy, but no-one appreciates me! I'm going to bed!' The Dalek returns to it's box.
Lala: What are we going to do? We have no Christmas tree.
Tinky Winky: I have an idea…
Back in the box…
'Zzzzz. Exterminate! Zzzzz. Exterminate!"
Tinky Winky: Shhhh! Heeheeheehee!
Tinky Winky has brought Christmas decorations into the box and is proceeding to decorate the Dalek.
Tinky Winky: Yayy! Christmas can continue! The only thing that could stop it now is a nuclear intercontinental ballistic missile!
At the same time…
'Nuclear Missile incoming. Warning Warning. Nuclear Missile incoming. Take cover.'
Tinky Winky: Tch. Typical.
This is where the missile has hit the baby/sun. We will now skip to when the insurance salesman escapes from the wicker man.
'Warning Warning. . Unauthorised access to the Religion's treasury. Will Tinky Winky please report to the Tubbydrome. Warning Warning. Insurance Salesman on site. Will Daleks please EXTERMINATE!'
Noo Noo crosses its path.
'Get out of my way!'
'How dare you say that about my mother! Exterminate!'
Noo Noo is vapourised. The Dalek continues on its way before running into the insurance salesman.
'Hello, can I interest you in some insurance?'
'What is insurance?'
The salesman explains the intricacies of insurance, and then gives him some offers.
'Right. So I get free shoe insurance when I take out a policy for hat insurance?'
'Don't forget the discount you get on tie insurance. By the way, why are you wearing Christmas decorations?'
'What are you talking about?'
'The tinsel, the star, the baubles etc. I could give you some insurance on them if youm want.'
'Alright, I don't see why not. These cheerful colours are filling my heart with something that isn't hate…what is it…ummm…oh yes. VOMIT!'
'Come now, they make you look nice. Its, er, slimming.'
'You think so?'
'Yeah…of course!' whilst looking shiftily.
'You make a Dalek feel so nice!'
'Good. Now about the insurance.'
'What do you want to have? One of the special offers?'
At this point the Dalek receives an update from a nearby mothership, telling him that all insurnce salesmen are blasphemers. I don't know why, it just happened.
'So if I buy life insurance and fire insurance, I get a ten percent discount?'
After considering this for a nanosecond, the Dalek comes to its senses.
'This isn't life! This is Sickness! Self-exterminate!'
The Dalek Blows up.
So this is the end of our story, and an innocent Dalek who did the world good by destroying the world's worst vacuum cleaner has died at the hands of a psychotic Insurance salesman. Be this a warning to you all. Don't talk to an insurance salesman, unless you want to die!