Disclaimer: No thank you, I don't need to own Naruto to write fanfiction.
FanFiction Story: Teenage Rhapsody
Summary: Thank you to those who had still read and reviewed this very ancient story, as you can see, I have not updated any of my stories (aside from revising). For the last few months, I had been doing grueling work to compete in school and after many attempts to sucking up to teachers and late nights of constant study (okay, okay, I'm addicted to web-blogs), I made it through hell and have lost nearly all of my imagination for my fanfiction stories. Yes, the academic administration monsters have done it again. They have successfully turned me into a mindless one-way-functional robot with a sexy body (too sexy) that is destined to go to a local graduate college and become a rich someone's secretary. Damn them all.
So please enjoy this chapter. I guarantee no fat; one hundred percent lard.
A Typical Friday
Kanaye Anda is not the pleasant woman in your average dean's office. She wasn't obviously borne with the charm of getting along with others, the fact that she ever wanted to be a secretary in a high school was not known to many people. A few say she developed the habit of meanness from years of dealing with severely whipped teachers and more than two thousand high school students who lived to mess with her. Many might have guessed that her cold bitterness came from a fairly bad incident in her earlier life that had got her into a wheelchair in the first place. Though, most still think she was just the evil spawn of Satan (oh, let's not get carried away).
Today, on a lovely Friday, a week later after the boring spring break she had spent popping pills for rheumatism, she had spent twenty minutes wrestling with one of the goddamn students who dared stepped into her threshold. With her mighty pinching fingers, she grabbed hold of his ears and swung him one side of the room to another, starting up shouts and cries that bounced off the walls. The irritating blond woman, she had worked for many years, had jumped out of her room and pulled them apart from each other.
"Kanaye-san! You can't DO that! It's against all humanity!" Tsunade yelled.
"I caught him! He did it again!" the senile old woman accused, holding up several office supplies that were strewed everywhere, "The moment I wheeled into the office, I caught him taking staples and pens off my table! That stupid brat was thieving—and I caught him, shit!"
"What?" the dean twisted around, with her clutch on the collar of a very petrified Naruto. She stared at him, watching his whisker scars twitch, "You caught him stealing?"
When he offered a stupid smile, Kanaye shrieked, "He better be punished! Stealing is against the rules! He was about to run for it too!" She wriggled her fingers in the air exaggeratedly, her wrinkly skin stretched across her face, "Finally, some justice in this stupid school…"
"Kanaye-san…" she started slowly, letting go of the boy. The secretary blew up.
"What are you doing, you fool! You're relinquishing your hold on the culprit!" When Kanaye was about to take hold of him again, the boy danced wildly, his legs flailing everywhere, with his hands over his sore ears. "Don't touch me man!" Naruto shouted, hiding behind the robust blonde.
Tsunade grimaced, "Oh God…Kanaye-san, before you grab him, Naruto wasn't…stealing…"
"Then what the hell was he doing with staples and pens?"
"He…was—I already knew he was here—he was just getting them for me," the dean nodded in the direction of her office, "I ran out of stationary."
The expression on her face was full of disbelief and dissatisfaction. Suddenly something else sparked in her mind, "Dear Lord! So then YOU were the one who was stealing from MY desk!"
"Hey, is it also against all humanity if you stuffed sleeping pills down her throat?" Naruto asked concerned, when he peeked out of the door at the unconscious overweight senior snoring across her desk (which coincidentally was missing several ball-points). Tsunade sipped tea from the rim of her china, her tongue sucking against the floating lemon slice. Ton Ton snuggled restfully on her legs.
"As long as she's quiet," she whispered gently, gesturing him to sit on the chairs facing her, "Besides we don't need any interruption."
"Is something wrong?" Naruto asked, running both of his hands all over his messy sunshine blond hair. He stretched his arms wide into air, stretching out his body into a deep yawn. All the bones in his spine creaked and bend back over. "You woke me too early…so sleepy…" He draped his arms and head over her desk, tiredly rested his blue eyes. He broke into a sudden comatose. Tsunade twitched at his open rudeness.
"Well, it's not like you ever came here on time! Sit up!" she shouted, causing the pink pig Ton Ton on her lap to jump off and run out of the door, squealing to a distance.
"'quiet Obaa-san, you'll wake up the witch," Naruto mumbled, rubbing his sockets with his fists.
"That doesn't matter…no, wait," the blond dean shuddered, "Never mind that, you're here to listen to what I have to say."
"Yeah, you called me this morning."
"Do you know what it is?"
Naruto looked at her. Suddenly something began to connect one by one; each step in his mind came to humongous conclusions, "Ton Ton needs to be babysat? No? Uh, Jiraiya caught in the girl's locker room? Because I can't really do anything about—no? Err—is it something about me?" From the hazel eyes, he seemed to know, "Are you extending my detention?" From the serious look on her face, he panicked, "Oh my God, I'm not being suspended am I? I didn't mean to Xerox copies of my butt! It looked so fun—I mean, Kiba dared me! I learned my lesson! I promise! Besides the top of the copy machine is kind of cold—huh? You mean—this is worse than suspension?" To this point, he was screaming.
"OH CRAP! Whoever switched orange juice and milk into different cartons was not my doing! The graffiti in the second corridor was made by Haku! It's his artist's instinct you know? But it's pretty nice, you don't need a mural there after all—I mean—I-I didn't break anything! I didn't commit any sexual harassment or molestation! I didn't threaten anybody! Or b-bullied or hit anybody! No Kiba usually does that to me cus I keep misplacing Akamaru—that stupid mutt keeps peeing in the boy's bathrooms! Oh—I'm not supposed to say that—well and the mystery culprit of Ino's dye job was NOT me! STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT YOU UGLY HAG!"
Tsunade twitched violently, "Shut up, Naruto."
She was not ugly, dammit. "You're not in trouble…not yet of course."
"Oh," Naruto sighed heavily, sinking into his chair, "Then why didn't you just say SO?"
He didn't see her hideous scowl, "What's going on?"
Suddenly, the atmosphere in the office changed drastically and her mad hazel eyes softened so much. In front of his electric blue eyes, he watched the old lady turn so young and vulnerable, nothing in her current appearance demanded obedience from any student. In her faraway look, she seemed to forget about tea and Kanaye and everything else, except the blond boy and the secrets begging to come out of her mouth.
She looked down, rubbing her knuckles, "Do you know whose father called…?"
"Did I do the right thing?" she said to herself quietly, rubbing the same spot on her knuckles until it was raw and painfully red. Naruto had left her office an hour ago, but her mind was so full of a burden she couldn't easily discard. She not willing to believe her own words, "No, of course, I did. What am I thinking? I am always right with my decisions!"
But he's Naruto! A tiny dreadful voice in her conscience buzzed aloud.
"Oh please, let this be the right thing," Tsunade begged silently, "I never been more screwed over until now. I feel as though I'm betraying myself…" Please.
When Naruto left, he walked out of the dean's office without a second thought. All he heard was his footsteps, his thoughts, and the sleep-talk from the drool-covered lips of the secretary: "Exterminate damn kids…" Snore. "…I…me…" Snore. "…wanna frappachino…stupid…dumb blondes…" Another snore.
"S-Some t-thing wrong, N-N-Naru-t-to-k-kun…?" Hinata whispered stuttering, staying at least two yards away from Naruto. She was afraid she might contaminate his holiness with her undeserved love and wasted devotion. She shook when he walked to her, standing oh so close the edges of her sleeve could brush against the buttons of his navy uniform and violet tropical shirt. He shook his head.
"Are y-you sure?" She gulped, a bit more confident.
She felt the warmth wafting from him. He looked so handsome.
"Nah…Obaa-san just gave me detention," he grinned foxily, "You know, Hinata-san, you're really nice."
Oh God. Hinata felt the little demon in her crawling into her back of her mind to hump something.
After school had ended, another week of school had passed; the afternoon sun had risen over the blue sky, spring had not yet ended and summer had not yet started. The humid warmth surrounded the residents of the city, causing sweat to appear unmistakably under armpits and gushing of water from a local hydrant to flood the cement streets. The sounds of mechanical tweaks and sharp piercing of metal, gas, and vulgarity of echoing shouts had swarmed several minors' senses when a group of kids entered through the garage of a car repair shop.
"No way!" Ino shouted over the cranks and sizzling of large machinery, "You live above a mechanic shop?"
"Heck yeah!" Haku beamed, his/her voice was the loudest, "My dad manages it! Welcome to the number one chain of Gaito's Speedy Repair and Car Wash!"
It really was a large establishment; a huge towering department with many different automobiles hanging on one end to every car part and tire, a low ceiling with bright skylights and racetrack flags dipping over their heads. Beautiful cars were parked in front, gleaming shiny from a day's bath and once-over. The scent of gasoline, copper, and soap had inundated their noses, giving the teenagers headaches. The sounds and noise and every racket made in the repair shop was unbearable, any normal person would have had their eardrums explode from the tremendous screeches of polishing gear.
Kin shrieked when she dodged a fast one from a splash of water over a bubbly soapy car; a thug with scars over his forearms shouted something to Haku, who cheerily yelled something back. Sakura and Shino watched another mechanic spit on the ground and clean his mouth with the back of his hairy hand. The boy/girl blushed and immediately led his/her science group to the back, as they covered themselves from scary looks of supposedly ex-convicts.
There was another room down the hallway, leading from Employee's Only and Men's and Women's restrooms (though, they haven't seen a woman yet), the manager's office that was locked, the car parts shop where they overheard an argument between a sleazy customer and a skinny cashier over spinners, a small dirty cafeteria with a few mechanics smoking and drinking bad coffee, and empty smelly locker rooms. The periwinkle blue door of the lone backroom had hung a sign Haku in front; it was unoccupied and looked more like a giant game room covered in dust, old machines, and spare parts than a study room for up-coming mechanic interns.
There was a foosball table and old Pac Man machines that Kiba gushed over, pulling on the knobs immediately. Akamaru barked when flashes of bright lights and recorded music came on. Two couches faced a giant analog no-cable black-and-white television. In the corner was something huge that was curtained with a large damp sheet for naked eyes. When Ino was about to touch it, Haku pushed her over to the middle of the room. "Nothing you want to see anyway," he/she smiled.
Ino got hold of herself as she settled herself down on one of the squishy patched-up couches, "Do you live here?"
"Naw," Haku shook his/her head, "I live pretty far from the city, I come back here everyday after school so my brother can drive us back."
"You have a brother?" Sakura piped up, sitting next to Ino.
Neji and Shino seated themselves far away from the group as they speculated every inch of dust. Kin covered herself uncomfortably as if every spider hanging off any cobweb was staring straight at her with every one of their eight beady eyes. Haku giggled.
"Dad, brother, a cousin…" He/she smiled, "Doesn't matter. Zabuza adopted me a long time ago, so any title isn't important."
"You were adopted…?" Sakura whispered in disbelief.
"Yup, we lived with each other for the longest of times, ever since I was a little good-for-nothing boy…" The teenagers in the game room looked at him with mixed emotions, uncertain of what to say. A hooded gloominess in his brown eyes came and went so fast, Sakura nearly denied her own reality.
"Wait. You're a boy?"
He was staring at the window for a long time, his pencil in his hand laid limp and unused, the tip of the lead on his unfinished math homework over his textbook. His attention to the bright sun outside was snatched away when a kind female voice blocked his happy, happy thoughts, "Here you go sugar. Eat up! You look famished." Ping! went his straight impossibly white teeth and a thumb's up.
"Thank you Utako-san!" Lee cried in all politeness and excitement, "With this godly delicious snack, I will have top-notch energy for my studies tonight!" The elderly waitress with poofy white hair and smiling red-harlot lips placed a plate of warm apple pie and a cup of cream-and-sugar coffee on his table, some might conclude she was blind and crazy since she liked to flirt with the bowl-cut boy every time he came to eat here. But it was always his kindness that seemed to brighten up the insides of the lonely western diner; everybody who worked and comes to the restaurant daily appreciated him as a regular customer.
Then again, it took a while for anyone to get used to him.
"Lee! I knew you would be here!" A brunette teenaged girl walked in briskly, her uniform skirt swishing with the rapid movements of her tan legs. She walked towards his table, not even realizing she pushed Utako aside with her elbow as she shoved her way to sit across from her best friend. The old waitress left in a huff; unfortunately, not many people in the diner liked the regular customer Tenten.
"Hello Tenten! How refreshing you look!" Lee waved exuberantly. She ignored what he said.
"You cannot believe what I went through at the library!" Tenten cried, slamming her stack of books on the table, causing the apple pie and coffee cup to clatter. "Only half of my group came! Half! Everyone—except Chouji—are such indescribable jerks! Stupid mean jerks! None of them—except Chouji—was willing do shit for the project!"
"Oh?" Lee rubbed his neck nervously, "I guess I also feel kind of used in my group…Sasuke-kun kept walking out today."
"See what I mean! Shizume-sensei is killing us!" she shouted, igniting glares from nearby tables.
"We're trying to eat here, y'know!" The mother from a family table yelled, settling down a bawling baby.
Tenten scowled, covering her face in frustration. Lee suddenly noticed the bronze sunlight from the window had caused the strays of her brown hair to be slightly golden-orange, but snapped out of his blurry thoughts when Utako returned to their table with a frown marred on her powdery face. Her hands held a pencil and booklet, "What may I get you, girl?
"Oh, right…" the brunette scanned the menu for a while, "I'm on a diet for basketball, so I'll take…a hamburger with all the dressings, French fries, and a chocolate milkshake, thanks!" She said tersely, looking away and expecting the waitress to leave immediately. Utako rolled her green eyes and left in a strut.
"You don't have to be so mean…" Rock Lee leaned in and whispered to her.
"Well! You know, I'm pissed. Those asshole Sabaku brothers are really the ones who made me like this," Tenten muttered, opening one of her literature textbooks, "Kankuro kept asking me what my astrological sign was…and that…that Gaara! He just stared at all of us and just left! Right there! Without saying anything! God!"
The thick-browed young man looked abashed, "Gaara-san? But he's so niiccee!"
Tenten shot him a dirty envious look, "You're the only one he can somewhat get along with ever since last year—but he's still a stuck-up jerk to everyone else!"
"Yes, but if you ever stopped to get to know him—"
She shuddered, "No thank you, Lee, I rather eat staples. He could probably slaughter me first! Did you not hear what people say about him? He ate a whole duck for dinner!"
"That's not true!"
"Except for the webbed feet, duh," Tenten shook her head, scribbling on a worksheet.
"Oh boy, you still have so much to learn about your fellow classmates," Lee said loudly, trying to get her attention.
"Look, I'm not here to talk about Sabaku Gaara, Lee," she contradicted, stealing a sip from his coffee and looked around the diner, "Where the hell is Neji? I thought he was supposed to meet us here every Friday."
The buggy-eyed teenager shrugged, "He usually does, but I think he's still with his science group."
From a close distance, you might see that the cover of Neji's stature composed of pure, determined calmness and apathy as he watches his team members discuss the topic of the project. But behind his white eyes, a swarm of coldness and irritation was waiting for the edge to throw him off and burst open for all hell to be loose. An unmistakable conscious egg was buried deep into his gut, he feel as though in a short moment, it would hatch and unfurl into a full-grown monster, screaming wildly of all his thoughts and his deepest darkest secrets. For the last two hours they had been talking about nothing but what to do for their hefty experiment. They haven't even decided on the captain of the team, not that the Hyuuga wanted to lead the group of morons.
"So I was thinking that we can find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie pop!" Kiba suggested, the amused gleam still flickering in his sharp eyes from the earlier incident. Sakura's embarrassed blush reddened less now that everyone was settled, a steady Haku had passed out numerous bags of chips and soda bottles around the crowd from his portable refrigerator.
Kin shook her magnificent head, "No, too unoriginal."
"That's right!" Haku cried, the rhinestone earring he was wearing was twinkling from the blinding skylights, "Besides it takes four hundred seventy-three-and-half licks. Or was it seventy-two-and-three-quarters?"
"Who cares? We're not doing it!" Kin yelled, annoyed to be around two members of the Naruto Corps.
"How about the blowing up the largest possible chewing gum bubble?" Kiba said, grinning.
"Or how much sweet dango we can stuff into Anko-sensei's mouth?" Haku laughed.
The long dark tresses of the school reporter's hair swung over the arm of the moth-eaten couch, as Kin tossed her head back and forth, "No, no, no, all of those had been done! One of them was recorded in the book of records and it would be foolish if we try it in our project. Besides, the latter was already on the news last month!"
"I didn't think it would be so much more than twelve," Ino whispered to deaf ears.
Kin was scribbling on a piece of paper, "We have to decide what we're doing by next week, so I suggest we better come up with it now. Some of us have to leave in half an hour…"
Kiba snorted, "You can be such a work-alcoholic, I swear I was shocked when I heard you got a bit tipsy for the morning broadcast last week and messed it up. Tsunade-sensei nearly threw you off the station. Dosu was so pissed off." She stiffened when Kiba leaned over with a devious fanged smile, "I actually like it when stuck-up bitchy girls go wild…"
Across from them, Haku elbowed Ino at the side several times, teasing her, "You better watch out, Kin already publicly announced her love for Sasuke-kun!" Ino's face flushed.
"Sasuke-kun isn't interested in Kin," Ino said angrily, tossing back her hair, "Besides she was wasted, obviously she doesn't know what she was saying."
"Aren't you going out with Shikamaru?" Ino said loudly, pushing Haku away before he said anything else.
Kin looked up with sudden displeasure, "Only once, but we're not really—"
"See what I mean? She's not interested in Kiba or Sasuke-kun!" the platinum blonde contort, causing everyone to react differently. Only Shino and Sakura looked unbothered, but the latter was more curious and confused than being sexually frustrated and obviously irritated of nosy people poking in her business.
"Stop probing my love life!" The anchor exclaimed, breaking the pencil on the table where Kiba's hand was a few seconds ago, "We're supposed to be working on the topic! Not gossiping! Not flirting!" She caused the dog-boy to look away, "No more monkey business! We have too much to do!"
After a moment of unbearable pregnant silence, Haku's headlights sparked alit. "Do you guys remember what we did two days ago with the jawbreakers…?"
They had all agreed to go to the local library after a snack and be dressed in different comfortable outfits (no itchy uniforms). It was unnerving seeing the same old school bum in regular clothes, when she approached him in the study hall. But it was more irritating to see a vivacious redhead snuggling against his arm so cozily in her sexy top and baggy pants.
"Hello, Sakon, Yoroi…" She received a small wave and nod, "Hey, Shikamaru…Tayuya..." Temari gritted out, wondering what went wrong in her mind to wear a less attractive outfit than the other girl. Tayuya did not look like the old school bully, but rather had done something with her shocking reddish-pink hair—it was less messy and unkempt—she wore a lime-green tube top for the humid weather, brown cargo trousers, leather boots, a new skullcap, and bearing many golden bracelets down her left arm. Her leather jacket was hanging on the back of her chair, as she leaned dangerously against a nonplussed Shikamaru's side.
The blonde had always been quite jealous of the tough rocker, she did not possess as many womanish curves and she did not have the sexy animal magnetism that many cute riff-raff boys had noticed when they see Haruno Tayuya. It was a known thing that Tayuya and Temari had an ongoing rivalry between each other, against boys, looks, and reputation. She stiffly straightened out her plain purple blouse and sat down next to a stoic Yoroi.
"Where is Naruto and Hinata?" Temari voiced out.
Tayuya whistled suggestively, the Sabaku girl did not take notice.
Sakon, always being rather disliked by the punk girl, shrugged uncaringly, "Don't bother with her. She's just sexually frustrated, it's mating season by the way."
The redhead looked angry, flipping him off, while Temari stifled any amusement, continuing on, "Well, we can't start the project without them…"
"Oh, that's a drag," Shikamaru growled, staring at the exits as if he was thinking of running away. If he had any will to move, of course. Tayuya laughed harshly as if attempting a flirting giggle, grabbing hold of him tighter.
Temari smiled uneasily to hide her disgust, "Do you maybe know where they are…?"
"What's worse than having Uzumaki as your team mate…" Sakon said aloud, questioning and not expecting an answer, "Having both him and the Hyuuga chick late and wasting my goddamn time." Without any more thought, he stood up picking up his things, "I'm outta here."
"What are you doing?" Temari exclaimed, stopping him mid-way.
"For your information, Sabaku, I have better things to do," the gray-haired teenager said heatedly.
Tayuya rolled her brown eyes, barking, "Who gives about the fuckhead Sakon? I like his shitty brother better anyway."
Suddenly, everything came to a dead stop. "Take that back!" Sakon demanded.
She stood up completely, sliding her exposed hip against the side of Shikamaru's face so leisurely, "I thought you were leaving."
"I will once you take back what you said!"
"We're in a library!" Temari quietly shouted. This couldn't be happening. Her grades was in jeopardy.
"No. I ain't taking shit back. Cus Ukon is so much better…" Tayuya drew out slowly, "…than trash like you." Sakon's usual deathly pale face turned a dark crimson color, the visible eye that was uncovered by his parted hair had narrowed into slits. Without another word, he just left. Suddenly from outside, loud exclaims fluttered into the study hall before the double doors had completely closed.
"Hey Sakon! What's your bony behind doing out here—hey! Where you going, man? Study hall's thatahway!"
"N-N-Naru-t-to-kun, I t-think we're l-late…" The doors closed.
To Be Continued
Some of you may not see it, but I see romance sparking. Oh no, I got my lips zipped and my fingers tied, I'm still not telling. As some of you can see, I write as I write along and presently, I been trying to scoop back up my ideas. Thank you for reading.