Of Pools and Laughter
Just so you jump into this and don't understand where it's coming from... with Alicia Blade's re-release of one of her POV shorts, I woke up today and thought about this. Obviously in SM there were a lot of awkward moments (mostly in the anime,) or just really strange things the animators put in to decrease their obvious boredom. Some of these include the episode in SuperS where Mamoru must stay with Rei, in Stars with Seiya and Usagi at the carnival, or Sailor Chef, or even that one time in her house where her wings are knocking over everything & Haruka and Michiru are discussing mats. But the season that takes the cake for just strange happenings has to be S. Without the whole Haruka/Michiru thing to think about, Eudial running around with her most recent FireBuster model, the short lived lives of the rest of the witches five that didn't include Eudial or Mimette... there's also the Mimette episode where she throws everything (I even think the kitchen sink is in there) in the easy-bake daemon oven of Tomoe's, and ends up with a VERY VERY disturbed episode... And don't forget the DJ episode when the Outers gangbang Hotaru... Yeah, I thought the daemon's hat breaking into a huge incense burner that gave off stars at Tuxie's rose was damn awesome too... However, what this little short is about is the thoughts running through a certain person's head during one of the early episodes of the series when Ami-chan is having doubts about becoming a doctor. Mamoru gives her some words of encouragement, and a funky, pink crystal snatching and new transformation and power later, Mercury's back on track to do her duty to mankind! That is, minus the awkward situation near the end of the episode... which of course is the subject of this one-shot. YAY!
So you're just standing there, not even recognizing this as the most awkward moment of your life. Your soul mate is next to you, within reaching distance, and all you can do is stare at her friend. Of course, this only makes the situation worse because said friend is looking at you with the greediest eyes you've ever seen. You've seen plenty of women fawn over you, but she was never the one you would have picked. And as you peer into her blue depths, unable to break eye contact simply because you're too dumbfounded to do anything but hold it, you hope to some ancient god that she's this determined about medical school, and not about having you for dinner. Your cheeks start to burn at the awkwardness of the situation, and you wonder if maybe next time you shiuld keep your words of encouragement to yourself.
You almost think it was a bad idea to tell her your fear of needles. Right now she looks as if she'd use them in some sort of S&M practice.
"I'll never give up!" She declares, staring straight at you as if the words should mean something. Your cheeks only burn brighter as her words have done nothing to remedy the tension of the room. Finally, your soulmate jolts out of her stupor and grabs hold of your limp arm. Did I mention the complete absurdity of this situation has rendered you a glob of masculine form? You almost try to entertain the idea that this is all some sick dream brought on by that chocolate ice cream you had last night. But for some masochistic reason, your eyes won't close to let you pretend that this isn't happening. That Usako's quietest, most reserved friend has not just appeared to proclaim you as her target for not giving up. She must mean med school. She must. She must. Shemustshemustshemust.
"Mamo-chan is my Mamo-chan!" Sailor Moon ratified, obviously coming to the same strange conclusions you had about Mercury's sudden fascination with your face. You think for a moment that Mercury is getting some sick pleasure out of this--like the nice girl exterior has finally crumbled to show the demon within--for at your lover's words, a gleaming smile erupts upon her lips and, if possible, the eyes become a deeper blue and you gulp at the strong desire within them.
Med school. Med school. Med school. Medschool medschool medschoolmedschoolmedschool.
You chant, remembering to breathe in a situation like this. Panicking is impossible because you're still routed to your spot. Somewhere you're hoping she'll rectify the situation and explain that she's this passionate about being a doctor. However, when you try to silently convey your thoughts, imploring the teenager to further explain herself, she only jumps up and down, exclaiming, "I will never give up!"
And you think you've hit an all-time low until your love decides to repeat her same statement and chase after her friend. Round and round they go. It is when you find yourself a maypole to your once-in-three-lifetimes, one-day-to-be-your-future-wife-and-rule-the-whole-world soul mate and her genius friend who's obviously lost all ability of comprehensible thought, blushing idiotically for the lack of anything better to do in such a situation, as the two repeat their mantra which you hear twice over as it echoes off the walls, that you realize at no other time in your life could you possibly be as humiliated and utterly confused at once.
At that epiphany, you suddenly find yourself capable of movement. But there's only one thing you can do. You take a deep breath, knowing you're going to need it, as the girls continue to do revolutions around you. You're still inhaling when Usa whips by you and a pigtail, caught in a sudden updraft, whacks you right in the cheek. And after that moment, you lose all self control and just guffaw. You just laugh, holding your stomach, bending over, slowly slipping to the floor and onto your back. Your cape folds funny beneath you and isn't at all comfortable, but you don't have time to notice. Instead you're laying there, looking like the crazy loon these girls have turned you into, laughing and chortling and carrying on, unable to stop yourself to breath or simply explain what you find so funny.
"Mamo-chan?" She asks you, worry evident in her voice. You chance a look at the two of them during a brief second of reprieve, but fall back into fitful laughter. These two soon-to-be woman, who had just been startled out of performing a strange tribal dance around your body, one of which had broken her timid demeanor into some sort of starved vixen, were staring at YOU because you found the situation so incredibly unbelievable that you had to laugh.
"I wonder what's gotten into him?" Mercury's soft voice reaches your ears and you can hear her turn to Sailor Moon, standing next to her.
You feel your love's eyes training skeptically on your prone form, rolling on a pool floor and issuing crazed howls from your throat. The blonde crunches her eyebrows together for a few moments, thinking of things you can only imagine, before shrugging as way of a reply.
An older, much more elegant looking Ami-chan sat near the end of the dining room table, holding a hand to her mouth and chuckling softly behind it. The rest of the group assembled, being the whole of the senshi, just stared at her in disbelief.
"When you tell it that way, I suppose it was a rather funny incident," she mused. You sigh and are glad you've finally laid this subject to rest when her eyes meet yours in an all-together scary, yet teasing gleam. "But you know, Endymion-sama," she purrs, extending her hand to touch the one you have sitting on the table in preparation of eating your birthday cake. "Now that I'm a doctor maybe I should started on another dream instead."
You swear you can hear crickets though it's eleven at night.
All you can do is curse the extra centuries that have made Mercury into a strong, determined and outspoken individual. And as your forehead makes its way to the tabletop which will be followed by a deep groan of frustration and lingering humiliation, you hear your very pregnant wife exclaim, "My Mamo-chan is my Mamo-chan!" As if that statement made all the sense in the world.