Last chapter, last little surprise and after that finitó. More than a years work is done. Got to say, IT SUCKS!

Disclaim: The positive thing is, this will be the last time I have to do this: NOT MINE!

Chapter 42) Livin' la vida loca.

Times didn't matter anymore. Day turned in night, minutes sunk in hours. Weeks walked by. He couldn't get grip on it. Couldn't remember how long he had slept. When the doctor had come. Ore when he got here. Even parts of his memory stared to fade. Pieces of his passed simply disappear. Was he disappearing? He didn't know, couldn't see, grab reality. The way back to the light was gone, he was stumbling in the darkness.

The words repeated over and over. 'What comes around, goes around.' He opened his mouth to say the words out loud, then stopped.

The cell door opened and someone stepped in. He tensed and focused. Was it she? The one with the high voice? But the footsteps didn't sound female. The steps where from boots and sounded harder on the floor then the ticking heels of her. So if she wasn't the one, who was? No-one other than she came in his room, when he was conscious. Would they sedate him again? Hopefully that wasn't the case, he had it with people pumping him full of drugs.

The boots stopped right in front of him. Lifting his head up he tried to get some information about the person in front of him.

"You have no idea how lucky you are." A heavily accented voice spit to him. "Get up." His mouth dropped and when he didn't reacted he got dragged up. He hadn't expected that, they never took him anywhere anymore and defiantly not this way. And something in the way he got treated scared him.

"Shelly is getting helpless. A helpless drugged lunatic! Remember the times in the basement, all alone in the dark, no-one around to help you out, no-one to care…"

He froze, but for just a second. His head snapped to the voice and he hit forwards with his fist. The voice hissed some curses and let him go, avoiding to get hit. He crawled back to the wall and pushed his body against it.

"Finn, have it you're way Gringo." And strong hand clutched around his upper arm and again he got dragged up. No matter how hard he tried he could get loos out of the iron grip. He felt iron getting around his wrist. 'Handcuffs!' He clutched his jaw and draw his body backwards to get his wrist loos. Without any effect.

"Should have got the jacket." The voice groaned and dragged him closer. Without a warning a stinging pain shot in his neck and everything felt blurry again.


The grumbling sound of a engine sounded close by. He got tossed from side to side, felt his cheek get cut by a piece of glass. Feeling sick he moved turned his head away from the glass. His head was spinning after that, the blurry feeling didn't wore off. Strange, it normally did after he woke up. Slowly he made a attempt to get up, but realised his hands where still chained together. He decided to leave it, because the headaches started to come up.

After driving for god knows how long the car suddenly stopped. The engine didn't turn off, but a door got opened. Shortly after that the door at his side got smacked open. With no further warning a hand grabbed him by this shirt and dragged out.

He didn't even got to changes to stand on his own. The man started to walk and he couldn't do else then follow. The man, holding him sometime muttered something, but didn't say anything directly at him.

Then they stopped, and he was thankful for that. It had been… long since the last time he'd walked that much, ore ate something.

"This must be it." The man said, not to him but tom himself. "21 Salte la calle." The man turned to left and he followed silently. After a few feet the man stopped again. "You don't deserve this Gringo." And with no further warning a rock hard fist slammed him in the face.


When he woke up his whole face hurt, not to begin about the headache. He moaned softly and tasted blood. In what kind of hell did he end up this time? He slowly touched his cheek and cried out. 'Yes, I've must have hit bottom.' He tried to move, it was getting cold. Must be night, ore early morning. He shivered and whist to know where he was. He tried to get up, but failed. Stumbling forward on hands and knees he felt around. There was not much, garbage backs, a puddle of mutt a couple of glass bottles and finally he reached a wall.

"Great, you found a wall. Now what?"

It had a point. He was free, at leased no cages in a room anymore. Still he felt even worse then when he was in that room. There he knew what was going on, but this was much more terrifying. Not to forget, it was getting cold. And his whole head hurt.

He sat down in the corner and wrapped his hands around his knees. Trying to keep is breathing under control he stared to count.

"For what point, Shel?"

'So I stay here and keep remember.' He breathed out and realised he was shivering. If he just knew the time… Ore where he was. Ore what that man wanted from him. There had to be something right? There was always a catch. Maybe he was tested, was he back in the CIA. They where probable laughing there ass off right now, seeing a blind insane man struggling behind the windows.

But he didn't thing about it to move again. Right here, right now he was safe. Nothing was here to harm him. Still he felt terrified. Not knowing was as bad as torture. To not know what to expect. Everything could happen, hell maybe people where standing around him and he didn't even know.

"Scary isn't it?"

He didn't reply and silence fell. It got colder and colder, so it must been night. His legs started to feel numb and he rubbed his shoulders to stay warm. It didn't changes much. He kept shivering. But somehow he drifted into sleep.

He woke up again by a weak sunbeam in his face. His body was stiff and painful from the night against the wall and the cold. He cocked his head up, remembering how he got here.

A few hours went by, still nothing happened. 'Maybe I should go.' He thought. 'Walk away and-' Yes, and then what? Where could he possibly go to or expect some help? So he just sat and listened to the birds sing there cheery little song. He wished for his gun to shove some metal in there cheery ass.

"Yes, take it out on some poor little birdies. That would be just the thing a sick psychopath like you would do."

Again he didn't reply.

"So you're ignoring me now? You think that's going to help?"


"Sissy, ignoring you're problem isn't a solution it's a sigh of weakness. You think you can simple ignore everything you've ever done?"

'No, but forgetting helps.'

"Forgetting? Then why don't you forget you're whole life? That would be a beginning! Failing, Shel, you're failing. Why don't you try harder to get out of this shit? Do you want to be here?"

'No, but I don't have any other place I would like to be.' He sighted. 'Truth can be a bitch you know, but realising, damn that would be the hellqueen.'

"Finn, you just want to stay here the rest of you're life then? Jesus fucking Christ Shel, you're really that pathetic to end here in the dumpster of the street between rats and garbage? Where did the real Sands go?"

'He got beat up every day while you where making fun of him.'

"Right, my fault. But where did the corrupted agent go? Then guy who could kill anyone without getting dirt on his boots?"

'He got insane since the moment he got betrayed and lost his eye's.'

"You where always insane, Shel, but you embraced it. You loved it."

'Bull, you know that was much as I do. You don't know what it's like to battle yourself every god damn day, hoping to stay in control so you don't have to listen and reliving you're past. To feel the pain and the sorrow. Trying to hush you're guilt. I fell of the edge long time ago, just to weak to face it.' He grinned. 'To blind to see it.'

The voice stayed silent. Relieved he sat back. 'Got you there didn't I. Finally you don't have anything to answer. I'm right and you know it. This time I'm the one telling what weak shit I am and I don't give a damn about it. I did my last mission, that guy is death. There is nothing more to live for.' It was like Day Of The Death. Same place, against a wall with no clue where he was. The only difference was this time he was shivering from cold and not from injuries. And there was no little chiclet kid to stand next to him. Ore-

A car stopped making lots of noise. Someone honked the horn. He tensed and crawled behind a garbage back. A door got opened and he heard a radio play a very cheery song. To full of joy for the moment. The door closed as the music stopped.

He frowned and focused on the sounds around him. The birds had stopped singing, probable because the noise from the car. There where fast footsteps. And they where coming his way.

A curse. "Jesus, what a ass I said clearly I would be here in the afternoon!" Another curse followed by a sight. Again footsteps and something very familiar. His heart stopped for a moment. Jingling. Annoying jingling , way to cheery music…. But it couldn't be…

A gasp. "Jesus…" Again a few steps. "Just, what have-…. Jesus." One final step. "Sands?"

The voice came from right in front of him, sounding very sad. Slowly he lifted his hand. The chains rattled. Two warm hands grabbed his.

"You remember me?" She spook softly. All the weight of guild, hate and pain seemed to fall off. Even the darkness seemed a little less.


It was enough to make her cry. "O my god, I was so worried! What on earth have they done to you!" Her arms wrapped around his neck and she kissed his cheek. "Jesus, and that ass! I told him I would be here in the afternoon! Shit, you're freezing!" She kept asking questions, while sobbing. He didn't know what to say, what to do. It didn't matter. All what mattered was, she came back.

Then she let go and he panicked. Without touch or sound she was gone again and he would be alone again. All alone in a white room.

But she was still there. "Can you walk?"

He shrugged and pushed himself up against the wall. It was hard but he succeeded. His head was spinning but his mind was clear.

"I'm ganna take you home." Her voice was bright and by the high tone she spook with he knew she was smiling. "I bought a big apartment a few hundred miles of Mazatlán. Close to the coast, not far from the Centrum, but not that close so herd of tourist are walking around you're house. Then have a small church, not that matters I'm not religious ore anything and-"

He realised he even had missed that annoying voice and her ability to talk to much at the wrong time. She placed his hand on her shoulder and hold him close. "C'mon let's go and leave this shit hole forever."

Carefully he stepped forward and let her guide him to the car.

"You can lie in the backseat, get some sleep." He nodded and collapsed on the soft leather. 'Since when does she has taste?' He didn't got the time to get a good answer. Before knew it she drove away. The radio started to play again. And while the car drove away from hell and he fell asleep, Ricky Martin sang:

"She's livin' la vida loca
Livin' la vida loca
She's livin' la vida loca
Livin' la vida loca"

The End.

So there it is. The ending of this story. I hate it to end a story. It's like the character freeze. I'm finished and it sucks. But it was the ending, my ending. I thought about it to end it this way a long time ago, I believe this hit me the first time I stared to make this story in English. ( Also got the idea of the voices when I started in English) Big step for me because I had like English for five years and three of them I had a teacher who didn't even understood the languages herself. Still I wanted to make it English because a Dutch Sands… is just not the same. In English he just sounds like himself, like the real Sands.

I do have to thank many people for helping me out with the English and make me writhe. Especially thanks to Me-Loves-Orli: For being my NR 1 reviewer and telling me to keep writhing and to have also a obsession for everything that about JD. Sands-Agent: Thank you very much for the beta-ing, reviewing and support, means the world to me! Twix: For reading all my poems and reading/reviewing this story. Fanfiction Fanatic: For beta-ing many of my chapters. Very sorry you got so busy you did a kick ass job! And last but not leased: Autumn Avaia: Again for the reviewing and betaing my crap, thanks! THANKS YOU ALL!

So this is the end. But there will be a sequel because Sands is fare from sane, Lizz still got a dad and a mom to worry about and I have much, much more things to writhe down. It's keeps me sane for the moment you know.

One last thing, for the love of whole humanity, REVIEW for me… PLEASE?