Snape had just left the classroom. He heard the students muttering about him; he knew what they said. That he was a nasty, evil, slimy, unfair wretch. Those things were true. He didn't mind it when they said such things. But what did bother him was when they talked about Snape's hair.
Snape never thought his hair was greasy. He thought it was shiny and lustrous. When Snape got to his chambers, he looked in the mirror. "Damn what the students say; I know my hair looks good", said Snape. Snape washed his hair every single day, and he took great pride in caring for his hair. That's why he used his special treatment.
Snape took out the bottle that was inside his drawer. He squeezed some of the formula into his hand, and then gazed into the mirror as he relishingly brought the liquid up to his scalp and began to pull it through.
When he did, cheesy saxaphone music began to play, followed by a mellow hip hop beat. Snape began to sing in a high pitched scream that sounded just like Prince.
"JUST LET YOUR SOOOUULLLL GLOO, LET IT SHIIINNNEE THROUGH... FEELIN' OH SO SILKY SMOOTH. JUST LET YOUR SOOOOOOOOUUUULLLLLL GLLLOOOOOOWWWWWW... Soul Glo."
Snape finished putting in his Soul Glo and then smiled as he looked into the mirror.