A/n: Yeah, I don't usually write anything other than slash, but thats all I'll ever post on the Anyway, hope you enjoy, and please reveiw.
Disclaimer: Your funny.
Now what you should know, is that this Harry Potter was different. He was raised differently, not on any effort of the Dursley's, I assure you, but of a very special friend he made at school. His name was Nathanial Bultgin, the rival bully at the elementary, supposedly. Actually he never did any bullying, he just never let anyone push him around. One day, by freak coincidence, Harry and he reached for the same book in the library. Laughing, they began to talk about what other books they liked.
From then on they'd been friends. Nathanial, or Nathan to his only friend, Harry, was raised in one of the toughest parts of London. He stayed in a foster home three streets down from from Privet dr. Nathan taught this young Potter to never let anyone tell you who to make friends with, and never let anyone tell you what to believe in or not. He told him that some people are raised with certain beliefs, and no one ever gives them a chance to develop their own. "Don't pity them," he said firmly, "Just be friends and get them to be friends with different people, don't let them limit themselves. You'll see what I mean one day." Nathan was a whole 3 years older than Harry. He taught Harry everything he knew about street fighting.
"Every man must know how to protect three things; his family, his church, and himself." A saying of his. Nathan read a lot. He taught Harry how to read books with out Actually reading them. Worked great with text books. "Knowledge is not a weapon to wield by hand, but an armor of the strongest steel for your mind." Another one of his sayings.
Then one day, he said his social worker got him adopted in America. Harry never saw Nathan again, but he never forgot what he'd taught him the two years they'd had together.
"Might as well get yer uniform," said Hagrid, nodding toward Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasion. "Listen, Harry, would yeh mind if I slipped off fer a pick-me-up in the Leaky Cauldron? I hate them Gringotts carts." He did still look a bit sick, so Harry entered Madam Malkin's shop alone, feeling nervous.
Madam Malkin was a squat, smiling witch dressed all in mauve. "Hogwarts, dear?" she said, when Harry started to speak. "got the lot here - another young man being fitted up just now, in fact."
In the back of the shop, a boy with a pale, pointed face was standing on a footstool while a second witch pinned up his long black robes. Madam Malkin stood Harry on a stool next to him, slipped a long robe over his head, and began to pin it to the right length.
"Hello," said the boy, "Hogwarts, too?"
"Yes," said Harry, "First year?"
"Yes, My father's next door buying my books and my mother's up the street looking at wands," said the boy. He had a bored, drawling voice.
"I hope I get a really cool wand, with dragonheart string like my father or something. I'd be just downright embarrassed if I got something girlie like unicorn tail, my mom had one of those. But you never really know do you? The wand chooses the wizard and all that. I just can't wait to learn some jinxes." Harry said excitedly.
The boy nodded approvingly. "So your a pureblood. Yeah, I can't wait learn some stuff to play some pranks on the other houses. I'm Draco Malfoy, by the way."
"I'm Harry Potter. Pranks you say? Well, We'll have to get together and discuss this some time." Harry grinned at him.
Draco grinned back, " Do you play quidditch?"
"Na, Do you?"
"Just around home, my dad says its a crime first years aren't allowed on house teams." So he's one of those people Nathan told me about. Harry thought. I guess I'll have to get him to develop his own brain.
"What do you think about it?" Draco wrinkled his brow for a minute. Apparently, no one had ever asked what he though before, usually they accepted his dads word for his own.
"I guess," he started slowly. "That the rule kind of makes sense. First years are smaller after all, and I guess most can't fly a broom correctly anyway. I say, look at that man!"
"That's just Hagrid. Guess I'll see you on the train." Harry replied hopping down from the stool as Madam Malkin said, 'Your done, my dear.'
"See you." Draco called after him. What a strange boy. He thought, watching the other boy leave the store. He had a quirky attitude about everything. He's pretty cool though, I like him.
Then it hit him.
Did he say HARRY POTTER!
If there was one thing Harry liked doing, it was disrupting orderly things. I guess it came from living in a control freaks house his whole life. So when he found out from Hagrid that certain people were expected to behave in the same fashion for each Hogwarts house, he decided that he couldn't have that. But first he needed some accomplices.
I can't believe it, tomorrow's the day! We finally set the plan in action. I just hope we find two more accomplices on the train. Hope I don't forget anything. C'ya on the train,
One of the first things he did when get got back to the Number 4 a month ago, was to send Draco a letter with hedwig. Keeping in contact with him proved more than useful. Not only did he know the most interesting stuff, but he was really a prankster at heart, and told Harry so at his birthday party. (Harry owled Hagrid to see if he would take him. He was all too enthused to do so.) All he really needed to do was stop quoting his father all the time, but Harry figured there'd be plenty of time for that at Hogwarts.
Smiling, Harry figured he should probably go down stairs and harass his uncle into taking him tomorrow. That night he had a really good feeling in his chest when he went to sleep.
Harry watched the red haired boy sit down in he compartment. His family were obviously Gryffindor, judging by the badges on his brothers robes.
"Are you really Harry Potter?" Ron blurted out. Harry nodded and lifted up his bangs. "Whoa, its really there, like lightning." he sat back fascinated.
"So what's it like having three brothers?" Harry leaned foreword on his elbows, equally fascinated with the he other boy.
"Five." He said miserably. "I'm the sixth in our family, You could say I've got a lot to live up to. Bill and charlie already left, Bill was headboy, and Charlie quidditch captain. Now Percy's a prefect. Fred and George mess around a lot, but the still get really good marks and everyone thinks they're really funny. Everyone expects me to do as well as the others, and if I do, it's no big deal, because they did it first. You never get anything new, either. I've got bill's robes, Charlie's old wand, and Percy's old rat, Scabbers." He took out a fat grey rat, which was asleep.
"Then why don't you do something totally unexpected and blow everyone out of the water?" Harry's eyes sparkled with mischief as he got an idea.
Ron perked up curiously. "Like what?"
"Let me guess, your family is totally Gryffindor house right?" his eyes flicked around, thinking.
"Yeah, all the way back since hogwarts first started." he affirmed.
"Then why don't you purposefully get sorted somewhere different, somewhere totally unexpected? Somewhere totally un-Weasley? That'll teach 'em all for trying to make you live up to anyone. You'll be a legend in your family, think of it!"
"Yeah," Ron stared of into space dreamily. Then he snapped back." But how? I don't even know how we're sorted. And which house?"
Harry's grin could have blinded someone."All you have to do is try on the sorting hat, and you can convince it to put you in Slytherin. Think of it."
Apparently, the grin was infectious. "Hmm, Ron : the First Slytherin Weasley. Its perfect." Ron's eyes were shinning.
The compartment door slid open suddenly. Draco slipped in, quickly shutting the door behind him.
"Sorry I'm late Harry, had to drop some dead weight. What's going on with all the grinning?" he asked curiously.
"This is Ron Weasley, he's in." Draco's eyes lit up.
"Well then, Weasley you say? Glad to meet you. My names Draco Malfoy, I'm going to be sorted into Gryffindor." He told the red-head with a smirk. Ron's jaw dropped. Draco snickered.
"Its all my idea Actually, I hate stereotyping." Harry said, wrinkled his nose at the idea. "Therefore, I'm making it our duty to shake things up at Hogwarts."
"And I really need to get from under my fathers thumb." Draco added, sneering to the thin air.
Ron looked absolutely stunned. What was going on slowly sank in. He grinned up at Draco. "Well, have a seat. I believe we need to hammer out a few more details. Like how the headmasters going to react about all this, not to mention our parents."
"You mean not to mention the staff. My godfathers Professor Snape. He'll be struck dumb!" Draco looked slightly awed at the idea as he flopped down into a cushioned seat. Harry and Ron laughed a little at the expression on his face.
The compartment door slid open. The round-faced boy from the platform stuck his head in. He looked tearful.
Perfect for a Hufflepuff stereotype, Harry realized.
"Sorry," he said. "But have you seen a toad?"
"Not really," Ron answered shaking his head, Draco rolled his eyes and sat back in his seat.
"Hey, come in here for a sec." Harry motioned for him to come in and sit down. Nervously, the boy did so, shutting the door behind him with a click.
"What's your name?"
"N-Neville Longbottem." Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw Draco make a twitch.
"Well, Neville, my friends and I would like you to join us."
"I- in what?"
"Oh nothing much, just the destruction of the foundations of Hogwarts society."
Neville's eyes widened and the three leaned in and explained the plan.
"Oh you may not think me pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folks use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!"
The hall burst into applause. Neville tugged on Harry's sleeve as it bowed to the four tables.
"Are you sure about this?" he whispered. Harry gave him an encouraging smile.
"You can do it Neville, we know you can." Draco wispered in his ear. Ron raised and eyebrow at him. Draco shrugged.
I'm just not going to let him ruin the plan, that's all, He told himself. Harry hid a smile.
"Longbottem, Neville." The poor boy was pale and trembling as he went up stage. He looked back at the other three making encouraging faces and signs. The four tables smiled (or smirked, depending on who), this boy was definitely a Hufflepuff, at the very smallest chance Gryffindor. He looked like he could use some people to help him start standing up strait without trembling.
He sat on the stool a little while, the hat gave a small shake before shouting out. "RAVENCLAW!" At the top of its voice. Those in the hall paying attention hall were silent for a minute. Now that was unexpected. And was the sorting hat laughing?
From the line, three particular boys cheered with the polite clapping. It was only a little while now before the BIG bombs dropped.
"Malfoy, Draco." Identical grins of evil.
The hat sat on Draco's head for just a moment and began to say something, then abruptly closed its mouth. The corners of the tear in the brim twitched, in amusement? Then it opened wide. "GRYFFINDOR!"
It was stone silent in the hall. The teachers at the head table mouths hung wide open. Draco instantly wiped out a camera while everyone was in shock and took a picture of one person at the table especially. Confusedly, the Gryffindor table began to clap politely, Ron and Harry rooted from the line, Neville stood and cheered from his spot. Draco full out smirked and swaggered to the end of the table, and to every ones confusion, high fived Neville on his way there.
A few more names. Then. "Potter, Harry." Whispers rushed the Hall. Harry patted Ron on the back and made his way the hat.
The hat sat there for a few moments, then to every ones surprise, burst out laughing. You could see Harry mouth something, grinning. The Sorting hat was now laughing uncontrollably. Its slid off Harry's head, landing on the floor with a flop. The brim wiggled like it was kicking its feet. "That- That was YOUR idea?" It gasped.
"Naturally, what do you expect?" Harry gave it an evil smirk, then winked at his three partners in crime. The Sorting hat howled. Draco was snapping pictures like there was no tomorrow.
"Oh how hogwarts falls!" it exclaimed delightedly. Harry picked it off the floor.
"I think you should sort me now." he suggested.
"Right right, HAHA, of course, HUFFLEPUFF!" Harry high-five his three friends on the way to his table. They were practically holding there sides trying not to laugh in the dead silent hall.
Slowly, some third year hufflepuffs began clapping. That broke the spell. Whispers and rumors flew like wildfire while the Hufflepuff table burst into cheers. "We got Potter! We got Potter!" Eventually Dumbledore set off fireworks to get things calmed down.
"Aheam," Professor McGonaldgall cleared her throat and unscrolled the list. Thee people left. Harry sat on pins and needles waiting. Then finally.
Ron was sort of pale as he strode up bravely. Three people crossed there fingers until the sorting hat shouted, "SLYTHERIN!"
Another dead silence, then.
"YEAH! ALRIGHT!" Harry burst out, followed closely by Neville and Draco. Ron grinned and trooped down the steps as the other three leapt up from their tables (Actually Draco pulled Neville up with them). They met in from of the Ravenclaw table and slapped each other on the back for a job well done yelling like idiots, things like "You rock!" "No YOU rock!" "Your both wrong, HE rocks!" "YEAH Rock on!"
They were all surprised when none other than the Weasley twins stood up and started cheering.
"That's our little brother!" Fred (or george) made a fake sniff.
"Breaking the mold, thata boy!" George (not leaving out the possibility its Fred) shouted. Ron beamed at them. A few people(most from younger years) clapped politely
"Now, if you young men would sit down." They turned to see Professor Dumbledore stood in the middle of the stunned faces at the head table. His eyes twinkled like the stars in the enchanted-ceiling-sky. The four boys made their way to their respective tables, Fred and George sat down. "After that...interesting sorting, I have a few announcements to make. Firstly, I would like to say Welcome to another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry..."