Disclaimer: "Love is like an Arctic Cat, racing across the tundra, that suddenly flips over and pins you beneath it. At night, the ice weasals come."

(An: Random Idea Alert! Yeah, just came to me after my parents made me watch part of Hannibal... hopefully this won't be TOO confusing, but I like all-dialogue fics.)

"...DAMN that was disturbing."

"I thought it was deep."

"Note to self: Never let Kurt pick the movie. Ever again. NEVER."

"Note to self: Kitty overreacts when there's a strain on her brain."

"Seriously, Kurt, it was ridiculous! It made no sense, AND it was ridiculously disturbing, to boot."

"You said that."

"It bears repeating! ...I think you broke my boyfriend."

"He's fine."

"Nononono, look! Piotr!"


"Hey, Peter!"

"My NAME is Piotr!"


"Yeah, but that's, like, an automatic response. Piotr, sweetie? Can you hear me?"


"SEE? You freaking broke my boyfriend!"

"Oh, sure, blame it on the fuzzy dude."

"YOU picked the movie, genius!"

"I'm flattered you think of me that way, Kitty... OW!"

"That's what you get, flirting with me! Humph! Come on, Piotr... YOU BROKE MY BOYFRIEND!"

"Did not!"

"Look at him! He hasn't moved at all!"

"Nuh-uh, his eye is twitching."


"...I guess that's true... I think I see your point..."

"Is he even BREATHING?"

"Ja, duh!"

"Piotr, honey, how many fingers am I holding up?"




"See, that worked!"

"Piotr, sweetie, are you ok?"

"...That was the most horrifying thing I've ever seen."

"Well, then, you mustn't have seen many horrifying things."

"You shut up! ...Ok, NOW how many fingers am I holding up?"


"Piotr, hon, are you alive?"


"You. Broke. My. BOYFRIEND!"

"I didn't break him, the MOVIE did!"

"Same difference, blue boy."

"...I'm scared..."

"You're not the one who's got Kitty threatening to kill you!"

"I wouldn't be threatening your life if you hadn't BROKE MY BOYFRIEND!"

"I'm fine now, I think."

"Oh, thank God... and you come back here! I'm still mad at you!"

"Kitty, there's a sound you need to hear, and that is -BAMF-!"

"He's used that line SO many times, honestly."

"I've noticed."

"Feeling better?"

"...I think so... that was still disturbing..."

"Oh no... Piotr?"





(...Ah, yep, a five-minute sillyfic, straight to you from Skysong.)