AN: Just to clarify, this fic is not aimed at anyone, it is only meant to express how Brian would feel, and does not in any way reflect my personal opinions.

I'm not normally the type of person to pick fights, but in this case I'll have to make an exception. I know that five is kind of a crowd, but I never knew it meant I'd end up nonexisitant. I mean, I know at the end of detention Bender ended up with Claire and Allison with Andy,and that really didn't bother me, 'cause I'm not used to getting the girl anyway; But that was just the beginning.

Boy was I in for a surprise! One minute I'm Brian Johnson, the brain, the geek, the person responsible for that great essay that gave Vernon an earful that Saturday, but did anyone thank me? Of course not! Heck, no one even said goodbye to me when I left. They were all too busy making out with each other and trading symbols of eternal love and blah blah blah. But seriously, I expected that out of Bender, Claire and Andy, but even Allison didn't so much as nodd in my direction. Some friends they are!

It's been two weeks since that day and everything basically stayed the same. Claire won't talk to Bender for fear that her friends will hate her for it, and Andy's been dating Allison in secret while handling the head cheerleader without giving the whole thing a second thought. Speaking of Allison, for some reason she still never talks to anyone, inculding me. Believe me, I went up to her in the cafeteria one day and she loooked at me and the rest of the brains like she could see right through us. I don't know for sure, but I think the girl has some memory issues.

Okay, so I have to admit, I didn't think we'd all just go to school on Monday and become best friends and have sleep overs and borrow each other's clothes or anything, but I never thought it would be this bad, despite what Claire told me in the library that day.

So now, I'm in the same place that I was before the Breakfast Club ever happened. The five of us really saw pasteach other'sstereotypes, didn't we?

Oh, yes, and not to mention that I've recently discovered this thing called fan fiction. I'm not joking when I say that every figgin' story on there is ClaireBender or AndyAllison, or sometimes even BenderAllison! So far, I've counted two Brian stories. Two! I have to say, It's good to know I'm loved.

Where did it say that just because I didn't get a girlfriend after Saturday, I'm not a member of The Breakfast Club?

By the way, just to clear this up to the few stories that have included me, my whole life isnot based upon angsty behavior and the supreme hatred of my parents! I do think my parents go overboard sometimes, and it felt good to say that outloud in detention, but since that day I am 100 PRECENT NON SUICIDAL! That's right, I am not going to overdose on drugs due to mymother's obbsession with my schoolwork, nor over the fact that Bender got Claire and I didn't. I never even said I liked Claire!

Why not write a story about my life that doesn't include all that harsh reality and cynicism ? I'll even start you off: In between school work and my love for model ariplanes, I happen to like a girl! That's right, I'm not gay, either! Her name is Stephanie and, contrary to popular beleif, I wasn't lying, we did meet at Niagra Falls!

Okay, so now you know. I'm not a sucidal maniac, nor am I gay, in love with Claire, agnsty, or a professional clown! (Sorry, I felt you ought to know that.) So, please, I ask you, before you write that next fanfic a) Actually have the decency to put me in it, and b) Make me the slightest bit realistic, for the love of God!

Really, I'm just Brian.