Read this: I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters so stop complaining! And no this isn't a dreaded banned list. This is a crazy story inspired by watching too much TV and having a lot of free time in a car. That and the fact that I've always wanted to ride an elephant.
Read My List
"Hello everyone!" Todd hopped in with the Misfits. He saw Scott, Jean, Kitty, Rogue and Kurt writing at a desk.
"Goodbye and go away," Scott grumbled.
"Aw now is that any way to treat your guests?" Pietro ran over and grabbed the paper Scott was writing on. "Hey what's this?"
"Give that back!" Scott snapped trying to grab it from him.
"Go to outer space," Pietro read it. "Go fishing more…Get married to Jean…Oooh!"
"Give me that!" Scott tried to grab it again. Pietro zoomed out of his range and gave it to Lance.
"What the heck is this?" Lance asked. "Learn ballroom dancing? What kind of wussy stuff is this?"
"Ballroom dancing is not wussy!" Jean snapped as Scott grabbed the list back from Lance.
"Well we all know where Scott got that idea," Lance chuckled. "What is this stuff?"
"Well I've been thinking about my life," Scott said. "And there are a few things I want to do…Some goals I want to achieve before I die."
"Why? What's wrong with you?" Lance asked. "Is it terminal? How long have you got? It is terminal right?"
"Yeah I have Misfit-itis!" Scott snapped. "It's an incurable condition that drives the victim crazy!"
"This is a little writing exercise that Beast cooked up," Jean explained. "And Scott and I thought of doing it too for fun."
"You think writing exercises are fun?" Pietro looked at her. "We really do live in two different worlds don't we?"
"Yeah women are from Venus and all of you are from Planet Koozbane," Jean remarked. "You know it wouldn't hurt you guys to take a different approach to how you see your future."
"Yes it would," Althea said.
"Oh you're right," Jean thought. "I forgot who I was talking to for a moment."
"It's okay Jean," Xi said. "It's an honest mistake."
"Man I have heard of some lame writing assignments but this takes the cake," Pietro snickered.
"It is not lame," Jean told him.
"You're right, it's stupid that's what it is," Pietro said.
"You know this isn't such a bad idea," Angelica said. "I mean maybe having some goals in life and writing them down. It might actually be helpful."
"Unless it ends up as evidence for the police," Scott said as he looked at Lance. "Then it might not be such a good idea."
"We're all doing it," Kitty said. "It's kind of fun to see what everyone's dreams are."
"And what are your dreams Jean?" Pietro asked. "Besides world peace and perfect hair."
"Well for starters a full week without you being able to talk," Jean glared at him.
"You too?" Wanda asked. "You know I could arrange that…"
"Okay here goes," Todd thought for a second, then started to scribble furiously on some paper. "I think I'm gonna need a couple of sheets."
"What are you doing?" Althea asked.
"Making a list and checking it twice," Todd said. "Gonna write down all the things I wanna do!"
"You guys want to try it?" Kurt asked.
"Why not?" Lance shrugged as the rest of the Misfits started on their lists. "Might as well make a list of things I want to do."
"We all know what's on your list to do Lance," Wanda remarked. "Or more accurately who."
"This might come as a shock to you but I do have other dreams you know?" Lance snapped.
"You're right, we are shocked," Scott said. "This I gotta hear."
"Ignore him," Kitty said. "Come on Lance. Tell us."
"Well…" Lance hesitated. "I always wanted to be in a rock band. You know playing guitar?"
"Since when do you play a musical instrument?" Scott scoffed. "Other than your armpits?"
"Actually Scott, Lance has a guitar and he's pretty good at it," Kitty told him.
"Lance can play the guitar?" Scott was surprised.
"Of course he can Scott," Rogue said. "Don't you remember all those times he woke us up at three in the morning to serenade Kitty?"
"I'm trying to forget…" Kitty groaned.
"So what's on your list Kitty?" Wanda asked.
"This should be good," Pietro snickered. "Is Lance on this list?"
"If not I know what should be," Fred said. "Improve her cooking."
"Guys!" Jean chided.
"Actually that is on my list," Kitty said.
"Kitty these are supposed to be goals, not miracles," Kurt snickered.
"Ha ha," Kitty frowned and folded her arms. "That is so not funny."
"Especially considering how many times you've sent us to the infirmary with you cooking," Rogue said.
"Well what's on your list?" Kitty challenged.
"Nothing much," Rogue shrugged. "If I can ever touch someone without killing 'em and I get to live to thirty I'll be happy."
"That's it?" Angelica asked.
"Well come on I've pretty much done nearly everything else," Rogue said. "I've seen a chunk of the world during all these crazy missions and stuff. I'm not in Bayville High anymore. What else is there?"
"Boy you have no imagination," Pietro shook his head.
"Oh yeah? So what's on your list?" Rogue asked.
"My list is simple," Pietro remarked. "Become rich, famous and then settle down in Beverly Hills with three or four hot supermodels who like to spend all day in the hot tub. And then we can have our lives videotaped. It'll be the next hot reality show. It'll make Newlyweds seem like the Odd Couple."
"You gotta admit that's imaginative," Kurt looked at Rogue.
"His imagination is wilder than George Lucas'," Rogue snorted. "How about you Wanda?"
"I don't want that much," Wanda said. "Maybe find someone special. See the world a little more. Take up dancing…And make my father's life a living hell."
"Ooh! Another thing to add to my list!" Pietro said.
"Mine too," Rogue nodded. "Not to mention Mystique."
"Fred you're not writing," Lina noticed.
"I don't have to. I already have a list," Fred took one out of his pocket. "See?"
"Let me see this," Jean took a look at it. "Peking duck, Bananas Foster…Risotto with artichokes…Planet Hollywood Pot Stickers? Fred this all food!"
"That's your list?" Kurt looked at him. "Food you haven't eaten yet?"
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Fred sniffed.
"I don't believe this!" Kurt groaned.
"This actually surprises you?" Lance looked at him. "How long have you been living around here?"
"Actually that's not a half bad idea," Todd scribbled on his paper. "That could fill up a couple of slots. Hey is Jell-O a fruit?"
"Anyone else want to share?" Scott looked around. "Please!"
"Hang on I have more," Fred told him. "I want to own a ranch someday."
"Really?" Lina asked.
"Yeah," Fred sighed. "It's always been a dream of mine to have a little place like the farm I grew up on. Just a little patch of land where I can grow a few crops, not the kind that got my grandma arrested. But somewhere where I can have a few dozen animals and ride my elephant into the setting sun."
"Elephant?" Kitty asked. "Did you actually say elephant?"
"Come on Kitty, can you actually picture me on a horse?" Fred looked at her.
"You know that does make sense," Rogue admitted. "In a weird twisted sort of way."
"It's a lot more realistic than Lance's dream," Pietro shrugged.
"Oh yeah unlike you Mr. Date Every Supermodel and Reality Show Star," Lance snapped. "It could happen."
"No it couldn't," Kitty said.
"HEY!" Lance protested. "Come on Kitty! I was supportive of your dreams!"
"No you weren't," Scott said. "You didn't say a word."
"Thanks a lot Summers," Lance growled.
"Anytime," Scott grinned.
"Fine," Lance stood up. "Remind me to never share anything personal with you guys again. I'm going to the bathroom." He walked off.
"So Fuzzy," Todd turned to him. "What's on your list?"
"Well, I've always wanted to do some acting," Kurt told them.
"I thought you were cured of that during the whole Dylan Hunter movie fiasco last year?" Scott asked.
"You would think that but it didn't," Kurt said. "Actually what I really want to do is direct."
"Yeah he's a born actor," Pietro commented.
"I'm not surprised," Todd said. "I mean every day back in Bayville High he used to play the part of a normal student. Even with the image inducer that took talent!"
Kurt glared at him. "And if they ever decide to remake 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, I know where they can find the perfect Head Cuckoo!"
"What about you Lina?" Kitty decided to steer the conversation in a slightly less violent direction. "What are some of your dreams?"
"I've used to want to go to Harvard or Yale and become a doctor," Lina said. "That is before I ended up stealing a few cars, running from an arson scene and turning into the Fly's attractive cousin one night. Now…" She looked at her blank list. "Well I no longer want to kill myself. That has to be worth something."
"I'm just happy I'm not in a cage," Xi nodded.
"I've always wanted to go to the Olympics," Angelica admitted. "But I guess since I'm a mutant I'd be disqualified. That and the fact I was always falling off the balance beam or kept melting the ice when I tried to figure skate."
"Remember what Jubilee told us?" Kitty said. "When her folks brought her home she tried to get on the gymnastics team at school but they wouldn't let her on."
"Now I'm getting depressed," Rogue grumbled. "I mean because we're mutants a lot of this stuff is never going to happen."
"That's not true! Our dreams can happen," Jean said. "I want to be a doctor and I will be one."
"Yeah and how's that going with the entire college campus trying to throw you out?" Pietro asked.
"Aren't half your classes online?" Althea asked. "From some college in Bermuda?"
"Bermuda?" Pietro blinked. "You're getting a Caribbean Education? Well tally me banana!"
"I am not taking online classes from the Caribbean," Jean snapped. She added. "Most of them are from the University of New York's Online program…And the other two are from a highly accredited institution…In Guam."
"You're right, that is a big difference," Althea said.
"Okay so I don't have to study as much for the quizzes and tests…" Jean had a look in her eye. "Actually all I have to do is pick either A, B, or C until I get the right answer."
"Well I'm sure the New York ones are a lot harder," Angelica said.
"Those are the New York ones," Jean told her. "The Guam ones all I have to do is push a button that said I read it. And Boom! I get instant credit for the courses…"
"And you don't read all of it do you?" Althea couldn't resist twisting the knife.
"Most of the time…" Jean said weakly. "Okay once or twice but come on those were the times when we were either called away on missions or Forge set the pool on fire! Give me a break!"
"So who else is up?" Pietro looked around. "Arcade what have you got?"
"I mean it's not like I'm just sliding by!" Jean interrupted. "I'm doing a lot of work with the Professor!"
"Jean, Jean we believe you…" Scott put his arm around her. "We know you're working hard."
"So Arcade…" Kurt began.
"I'm even doing lot of reading! Do you know how many books I have to take out a week from the library to keep up?" Jean shouted.
"Jean let it go!" Rogue snapped. "We're off you now. Go on Arcade."
"Nothing much," Arcade said. "Make millions of dollars, invent new technology for computers…Buy an island...Buy a giant crane with a wrecking ball and drive it up to my parents' house and BAM! SMASH THAT HELLHOLE TO KINGDOM COME! MAKE THEM LIVE OUT ON THE STREET! SEE HOW THEY LIKE BEING THROWN OUT ON THEIR EARS!"
"O-kay…" Scott winced. "That's…understandable."
"And then I'll buy a jet," Arcade had a gleam in his eye. "No a stealth bomber! And I'll load it up with a few dozen missiles, fly off to Martha's Vineyard where my stuck up brother and sister live…Target their cars and…."
"Arcade!" Fred put his hands on his friend's shoulders. "Arcade, did we forget to take our pills this morning?"
"Maybe?" Arcade giggled.
"If you have any extras I could use some," Jean groaned.
"You're right Quicksilver," Scott groaned. "This is a stupid assignment."
"What about you Althea?" Wanda asked. "Might as well bottom this whole thing out."
"I've always had list in mind," Althea said. "Of course I can't do half of them until my Dad dies. A lot of it revolves what his funeral is going to be like and the party I'm going to have."
Upstairs they heard screaming. "OH COME ON STORM! SO I ACCIDENTALLY WALKED IN ON YOU IN THE BATHROOM A COUPLE TIMES…IN A ROW. THAT'S NO REASON TO….YEEEOOOOOWWWW!"
"Fortunately something tells me I won't have to wait that long," Althea nodded.
"OKAY MAYBE I WENT TOO FAR WHEN I BORROWED YOUR BRA AND…AAHHHHHHHHH! OWWWWW!"
"You know," Jean blinked. "You might want to start looking for a good funeral home and a casket."
"Already have one picked out," Althea said. "It's called Whispering Ocean Meadows. It's a nice place."
"FORGE STOP TH IS CRAZY THING!" They heard Hank screaming upstairs. "AGGGHHHH!"
"I'm okay…" Hank said weakly.
"BUT YOU WON'T BE FORGE!" Logan was heard shouting next. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES WE HAVE HAD TO FIX THAT WALL THIS MONTH! COME BACK HERE!"
"Do have any brochures?" Scott asked her.
"I'll get you the catalog," Althea groaned.
Kurt looked at Todd scribbling a long list. "Having a hard time?"
"Yeah it's so hard to decide what order I wanna do all this stuff," Todd chewed his pencil.
"Let me see this," Kitty took it. "Buy an island and populate it with frogs and mutant giraffes? Get a cool car and win the Daytona 500? Challenge Donald Trump to a ping pong tournament and win?"
"And I thought Pietro had an imagination," Wanda's eyes widened. "The Loon is dead. Long live the Loon."
"Look at this one," Kurt read. "Become the co head of a powerful ninja clan with Althea and…Either protect or take over the world?"
"Oh what a joke," Althea made a fake laugh and swiped the list from Kurt. "You know my Toddles, always fooling around." She then glared at Todd. "Never taking anything seriously."
"Oh yeah right…" Todd did a double take. "That last part was a joke. You know like Lance and his rock star dream. Funny huh?" He made a wide grin.
"Where did he go anyway?" Kitty looked around.
"Who?" Fred asked. "Lance?"
"No, Brian Dunkleman," Scott looked at him. "Ever since he disappeared after the first season of American Idol it's been troubling us all. Of course she means Lance!"
"How long does it take a guy to go to the bathroom?" Todd asked. "I mean, a guy that's not Pietro."
"What do you mean a guy that's not me?" Pietro asked.
"Pietro who else is on the exclusive best customer list of Vidal Sassoon and that hairdresser guy from Blow Out?" Wanda looked at him.
"Look Jonathan happens to understand my particular hair care needs," Pietro snapped. "And occasionally I give him advice on women so…"
"We have a problem!" Logan stormed in. "Oh good the rest of you Misfit Maniacs are here. I have a question, were you all in on this? Or did Avalanche come up with this stunt on his own?"
"In on what?" Althea asked. "What did Lance do?"
"This!" Logan turned on the TV in the room.
"Is that the world peace rock concert sponsored by MTV?" Jean asked.
"Yeah and look who's playing onstage!" Kurt pointed.
"LANCE!" Kitty shouted. Indeed Lance was performing a guitar solo to the crowd. "How did he get there?"
"He must have used his teleportation watch when he left the room," Scott groaned.
"Then he used his powers to hijack the stage from the latest lead singer from Van Halen," Logan groaned. "To be fair it wasn't that hard for the audience to just go with the flow."
"They have been in a rut since the David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar feud got out of hand," Fred said.
"THANK YOU WORLD!" Lance shouted. "MY FRIENDS THINK I'M IN THE BATHROOM! HAHAHAHAHA!"
"When are we going to learn not to encourage the Misfits to do stuff with us?" Scott groaned.
"I don't know," Kurt said. "But it's number five on my list."