Howto Tick Your Neighbor Off in Three Minutes or Less

By Kuro Doragon Enko

Summary- Sango Akiyama has a rather normal life, at least until a certain guy moves in next door. When the most annoying neighbor in history just happens to move in next door, how long will she be able to stand it without killing the guy?

Genre- Romance, Humor, and slight Drama/Angst

Pairings- MirokuSango, InuyashaKagome, ShippoSouten, RinKohaku, SesshomaruKagura, and AyameKouga.

Disclaimer- I don't own Inuyasha, unless you count all the manga and anime I have accumulated.

A/N: This is my first story so I'm a little shaky, but…here we go…on with the fic.

Chapter 1

The New Kid from Down Below

Sango's POV

Hi. My name's Sango, but that probably doesn't matter all that much. This is sort of a documentary I guess, but trust me…this story doesn't have a happy ending. No way in hell. Well…if you want to know the intense misery of my life then hey, welcome to the party. If not I suggest you hightail it out of here right now, and I mean quickly.

Just so you know I'm a girl…but you can probably tell that from my name but just to be sure, you gotta be clear on those facts. I am 16 years old and this just happens to be the story of how I met the most annoying guy in the world, thus ruining my thoughts of a happy future. Why? Well, just read on and you'll find out.

It all started somewhere between January and well, it seemed like the best day of my life. I had just gotten out of my martial arts and kendo classes after ranking top in every thing. I mean, who wouldn't be proud if they ranked top, hmmm?

I was on my way home after vandalizing a soda machine as I had been kicking it at least twenty times a minute…well, what was I supposed to do? It wouldn't give me the damn soda, so I did the only possible thing- beat kicked it silly. That's when I saw the van. That dumb corny moving van from hell. The thing that would soon make my entire life entirely miserable because that's when he moved in. The most annoying guy in the universe. Akimura Miroku. A minion from the place below. Literally. He lived in the basement…well, um…back to the story.

At first glance he looks perfectly innocent. Black hair and a great smile, sparkling amethyst eyes, he looks like a prince out of a story book- but in reality the guy is nothing more then a big hentai and an even bigger sneezeball. The day he moved in he was wearing a black t-shirt that said 'I'm not evil, just misunderstood' on the back and a nice pair of scruffy blue jeans, he looked like an innocent punk( I don't really know how that's possible but that's just how it is).

Well me, being the nice neighbor I was, decided to go and greet the moron. Big mistake number 1.

"Konnichi wa, my names Akiyama Sango…I'm your next door neighbor." I said as nicely as I could, the sweetest grin possible plastered on my face. Big mistake numbers 2 and 3. I had just told the guy my name and where I lived. "I'm supposed to be the welcoming committee." I said, with another of those happy-go-lucky grins. Hey, he looked nice at the time.

"Akimura Miroku." He said, a strange glint coming into his eye as the bastard eyed me up and down.

I twitched lightly, he was eyeing forbidden territory. Trying not to flip out and then began repeating words like a mantra inside my head- He's a new kid…he's a new kid…don't kill him…don't kill him whatever you do…hey! Don't look down there…baka hentai…oh its on now…no…I…must not…kill…him… Those were the words constantly going through my head. And surprisingly, I didn't even punch him…well I did, but that's later on in the story.

"Akimura-san…?" I said quietly, not because I was shy…but I was mainly trying to keep my anger all bottled up inside.

"Hai, Akiyama-san?" he said, his great voice making my heart flutter…of course at the time, I'd never admit it.

"My face is up here." I growled, taking note of the innocence as he said my name.

"Oh…my apologies Akiyama-san, but…there's no need to be so formal…a lovely lady like you should be able to call me by my first name…so just call me Miroku." Akimura remarked, a disarming smile taking play on his face, causing my fist to curl up.

"…Apology accepted." I said stiffly, glaring at the guy in front of me suspiciously.

"Miroku!" An elderly voice, slightly slurred from what sounded like to much alcohol intake, echoed from inside, thus bringing a sigh from Akimura, as he turned around to reply.

"Coming Mushin…" he swiftly turned back to me and grasped my hands in his, "Ja ne, I shall see you later Akiyama-san, and you shall haunt my dreams!" he said with a grin and then groped my and before I could react, had run to the house, a contented smile on his face.

I suppressed a snarl as I glared at the door from which Akimura had received his refuge- well of course; it was a place- and a day- that would haunt my dreams forever.

--- End Chapter One ---

A/N: Well, there you have it, the first chapter ofHow to Tick Your Neighbor off in Three Minutes or Less, feed back and advice would be welcome.


Baka- Idiot

Hentai- Pervert

Konnichi wa- Hello

Hai- Yes

San- A prefix similar to Ms, Mrs, or Mr.

Ja ne- Good-bye; can be abbreviated as Ja.

Preview of Next Chapter-

I sighed, looking vacantly at my notebook, trying not to fall asleep because of the early hours. That's when the teacher walked in.

"Class, today we will be having a new student. Please greet him with utmost respect." Tanuki-san squawked; his voice the sound of nails scraping against a chalkboard, very annoying to say the least.

I shuddered, my eyes widening and my skin going pale; I knew exactly who it was.