PLEASE REVIEW! Sorry if this chapter sucks; I'm overtired and it's late... By the way, in the manga, GUFUU is used, not VAATI, so that's why there's no Vaati stuff in this. After all, the manga is different from the game, you know.
Four Swords Plus
Chapter 1: The Four Assholes
Chaos erupted in the streets of Hyrule Castle Town.
"Ah! Help! It's Jago's pirate gang!" someone screamed.
People were shouting and running away from a group of intimidating pirates.
"Stuff all this shit in the bags! This town's goin' down!" Jago himself declared as he and a few of his crew members overtook a store.
A young woman ran up to Jago, grabbed his arm, and cried, "Please! Stop! Don't take our things!"
Jago looked at the maiden with a smirk. "Well then, young lady, would you like to join us? A man gets horny out on the sea for such long periods of time..." Jago seized the woman around the waist.
"AH! NO, DON'T!" she screamed.
Suddenly, someone crashed through the boxes above them. It was a boy, no older than 12. He landed on Jago's head, knocking him to the ground. The pirate captain released the girl.
The boy stood up, readied his sword, and glanced over his shoulder at the maiden. "Get outta here!" he said.
Jago drew his own sword.
"DAMN MIDGET, PREPARE TO DIE!" he growled, lunging at the boy. The kid stabbed him in the crotch.
"GAAH! OH, FUCK, THE PAIN!" Jago bellowed, falling to the ground. Then he died. Ha ha.
The pirates gasped.
"I-It's that 'left-handed hero', Link!" one of them said. There was a moment of silence before the crew scrambled away.
Link smirked, put away his sword, and started to leave. Suddenly, a group of knights on horses trotted grandly to the scene.
"We are the noble knights of Hyrule, and we are better than you and we know it! Now where's the trouble?" the leader of the knights; a muscular man; asked.
"Sorry bud, you're too late! The problem's been taken care of!" a villager said.
The leader scratched his head in confusion before finally realizing who had taken the work away from him and his group. Spotting the culprit sneaking away, he called, "Hold it right there, Link!"
Link sighed exaperatedly and turned around. "What?"
"You're part of our group, Link, and you keep taking the damn spotlight away from everyone else! Stop the independence shit. You have allies, you know! Next time, wait for the rest of us!"
Link rolled his eyes and replied, "If I wait for you assholes, things will only get worse. And besides, I like being independent. See ya!" And with that, the left-handed hero walked away.
Link kicked at the dirt as he headed along the path to Hyrule Castleand smiled.
"I don't need no damn allies! I can handle the dangers in Hyrule all on my own!"
"Honestly, he's been a total asshole lately. He doesen't listen to anyone but you, your highness; you're his best friend... He doesen't even listen to me, and I'm his own father! Please help me beat some sense into him, because if he doesen't shape up I'm going to get him fixed..." the knight leader said to Princess Zelda.
The princess sat on her throne, gazing at the man who stood before her. She frowned.
"Why would you get him fixed?" Zelda asked.
"It would be really funny."
"Right. I'll just pretend like you never said that. Ok, well, anyway, don't worry about Link... He has a good heart and will grow into a fine man some day."
"Sure. That's what YOU think..."
"Do you know that you suck as a father?"
"Yeah, I know. So will you help me with my son?"
"I will talk to him."
"Or you could just beat him," Link's father suggested.
"Shut your fat mouth before I have you beheaded!" Zelda threatened.
Grumbling, the knight stood up, bowed, and left the room. Zelda sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Is he gone?" Link asked, stepping out from behind the throne. He was wearing nothing but a leopard-spotted thong.
Zelda looked him up and down.
"I told you, I'm not having sex with you, Link..."
"Damn... Well, it was worth a shot. I better go get dressed then..."
"No, we haven't the time!"
"What? Why not?"
"Link, we must check the seal of the Four Sword. I had a premonition... Something is coming. A sorcerer, I believe, and I fear it may be Gufuu..."
"But Gufuu was sealed..." Link said.
"I know, I know, but still..." Zelda insisted.
The tale of the Four Sword is an ancient one, my friends... Long ago, a powerful sorcerer named Gufuu terrorized lands and captured beautiful maidens. No one could defeat him until one day, a traveler came, wielding a blade that split his body into four. The four heroes worked together and sealed Gufuu in the sword. The blade was enshrined with care...
Suddenly, the 6 maidens who helped keep the sword's seal intact approached Link and Zelda.
"Princess Zelda, all the preparations have been made," the blue maiden said.
"Good," replied Zelda. "Let us begin."
Zelda and the maidens proceeded to check the seal through a prayer of some sort as Link readied his sword.
Come on out if you want, Gufuu... But I warn you, I'm ready to take you on... he thought, his face serious.
Then a frightening thing occured -- the 6 maidens were suddenly levitated into the air!
"Oh, no! The maidens!" Zelda cried, stepping back. Link gasped, and the maidens disappeared...
Link and Zelda's attention shifted to the seal where a swirling pool of shadows had appeared... They rose up and began to form something... Before they knew it, Link and Zelda stood facing what appeared to be some sort of Link clone, only it had black hair, evil red eyes, and wore a black tunic. The being held a bottle of Lysol spray and a sword.
After recovering from the shock, Link asked, "W-who are you...?"
The Link thing huffed the bottle of Lysol for a moment before looking at Link again.
"Who, me? Why, I'm Link the hero...hee hee..." it replied.
"HEY, YOU DUMBFUCK, YOU CAN'T BE ME; I'M ME!" Link bellowed, attacking his copy. He was surprised to find that it became transparent and managed to dodge the attack.
"W-what? It didn't work!" Link gasped.
The clone turned into some sort of shadow beam and launched itself to Princess Zelda. Turning back into its human form, the copy huffed the Lysol again, grabbed Zelda, created a portal, and entered it.
"ZELDA! NOOOOOOOOO!" Link yelled.
"LINK! SAVE ME!" Zelda screamed before she and the clone disappeared.
Suddenly, another portal appeared and snatched Link away...
The left-handed hero awoke, only to find himself laying in the grass. It took him a moment to realize that he lay before the Four Sword shrine.
Quickly getting to his feet, Link looked around and said, "Where's that freaky-black-Lysol-clone and Princess Zelda?" He began to conduct a desperate search for his princess, but to no avail. She and the freaky-black-Lysol-clone were nowhere to be found...
Link looked at the ground sadly.
"Damn...she's kidnapped, and I didn't even get to have sex with her..."
He raised his eyes to the Four Sword shrine before him. It gave him an idea...
"I probably shouldn't do this, but what the hell. It may break Gufuu's seal, but at least I'll be able to save Zelda..." he said, grabbing the sword.
"FOUR SWORD, LEND ME YOUR POWER!" Link shouted, yanking it from its pedestal.
A prickling went up the hero's spine, but before he knew it, he was staring at 3 other copies of himself. One was dressed in purple, another in red, and the other in blue.
Green Link said, "Woah, the-"
"Legend-" Blue Link continued.
"Really is-" Red Link said.
"True then!" Purple Link finished.
Green Link stared at the other 3.
"Woah, this is not normal... But I'm sure now we can defeat Gufuu!"
"Yeah!" the other 3 said in unison.
But when they looked back at the shrine, the 4 heroes saw a strange wind swirling about it... Then suddenly, a giant rock monster appeared! It was none other than Gufuu!
"Ah, outside at last... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I'M FREE! IT'S BEEN SO LONG!" Gufuu exclaimed.
"T-that's Gufuu!" Red Link gasped.
"The seal! Damn, it's been broken!" Blue Link said.
Purple Link glared at Gufuu and growled, "Too bad for you; you're going back where you came from!"
The 4 Links began to attack! Green Link sliced off Gufuu's arm, but it regrew itself!
"Guys!" he called. "Let's try slicing him from 4 different places at once!"
The other 3 ignored him and just kept doing what they were doing.
Shaking his head, Green Link leaped to attack Gufuu's other arm, but bumped into Blue Link. The 2 boys fell to the ground.
"Hey, asshole, watch where you're going!" Blue Link snarled.
"Hey, it was your fault, not mine!" Green Link snapped.
He looked up and saw that Red Link and Purple Link were not helping eachother much either.
"Why the hell aren't we working together? We have to work as a team in order to beat him!" Green Link said.
"I've never worked on a team before, how do you do it?" Red Link asked.
"Tch! I'm tough, I can kick his ass alone!" Blue Link scoffed.
"I don't need any allies..." Purple Link said boredly.
Green Link was dumbfounded. The truth hit him.
It's just one stubborn guy increased by 3... he realized. Shit, I should have listened to Dad...
Gufuu began to try and suck the 4 Links up! The heroes grabbed onto rocks and such to keep from being snatched away.
"He's gonna suck us up, dammit!" Purple Link said through gritted teeth.
Then the same thought came to each of their minds...
Princess Zelda... We have to save her!
The thought of their mission and their princess gave them the strength to suddenly attack Gufuu. He exploded! The 4 celebrated the moment and congratulated eachother.
"So is that his true form? I don't understand..." Red Link said.
"I dunno, I guess..." Blue Link replied.
They did not sense their evil freaky-black-Lysol-clone watching them from behind a stone ruin. He huffed his bottle of Lysol spray.
"Gufuu is revived!" the evil clone said. "Thanks, four heroes... You will lead the world to ruin..."