The sequel (The Legend of Zelda: The Prince of Ny-Potho) comes out tomorrow. The next chapter of The Sister comes out in a day or so.
Well, I'll miss this story... ;-; It was a lot of fun to write.
I want to again thank Mariam Dirbashi for helping me with all of this! You're the best, Mariam! Thank you sooo much!
Chapter 12 -- Last Chapter, Grab a Beer
The four Links screamed as Gufuu opened up his freaky, sharp-toothed mouth, and from it produced a whirlwind to suck them in. Green noticed the Force flying from his body.
"DUDE, THAT'S MY FORCE!" he screamed.
"WON'T SOMEONE END THIS MADNESS?" wailed Red, trying to resist the mega-strong winds.
But suddenly, Gufuu stopped his attack. The air began to fly from him, like air being released from a balloon.
"WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?" And, just like that balloon I compared him to, Gufuu began to zoom around.
"What the hell's going on?" cried Blue.
"Almost...d-done..." panted Shadow as he stumbled around to the back side of the mirror. Up in the air, Gufuu whizzed by and saw what his former ally was doing.
"SHADOW LINK, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING! ARE YOU ON POT? ARE YOU ON RITALIN? HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?" Gufuu yelled in a voice full of desperation and fury.
"I know...what I'm doing..."
"YEAH! COMITTING MURDER-SUICIDE, BITCH! YOU'LL DIE AS WELL AS I!"
"I know. But hey, life wasn't that great anyway. So see ya." And with those words, Shadow pushed the Dark Mirror. It shattered completely.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screeched Gufuu as the last bit of air crept from him. A strange calm filled the atmosphere.
The Links had witnessed the death of the enemy Gufuu.
"Is he dead?" Vio asked quietly.
"Don't know, let's find out," Green said, rushing down a path of clouds that lead to Gufuu's place of death. The others followed.
"I...was so...fucking...close..." uttered the deflated-balloon-Gufuu before exploding at the four heroes' feet.
"Holy Ben Afflek!" exclaimed Vio when he saw Shadow laying weakly by the shattered mirror. His heart did backflips, and he rushed over to his fallen beloved. The other Links cautiously followed.
Vio grabbed Shadow's hand.
"Shadow! You're alive!"
Shadow looked wearily up at Vio and smiled slightly.
"Yeah, well, for a little while at least..." he said.
Vio remembered what Shadow had told him about the Dark Mirror a while back. If it broke, Shadow would die.
"Gufuu's dead...right?" Shadow asked.
"Yeah, thanks to me," said Blue.
"Blue, you didn't do anything. You were the one blasting diarrhea all over your pants," commented Red.
"WE ARE GOING TO KICK EACHOTHER IN THE NUTS 'TILL ONE OF US FALLS!" Blue announced.
"Noooo!" shrieked Red, cowering. But the stronger Blue easily overpowered him, and began viciously nut-kicking the red Link.
"HEY! THAT'S MY RED LINK!" snapped Green, attacking Blue. Vio and Shadow stared at the fight for a moment before turning back to eachother.
"I'm sorry for what I did..." said Vio.
"Don't be. I...understand why..." whispered Shadow, his eyes beginning to close.
"No, no! Don't go!" Vio said quickly. Violin music began to play.
"Who's playin' the violin?" Blue snapped.
"YOU LET YOUR GUARD DOWN! AHAHAHA!" crowed Green, kicking Blue hard in the nuts while he was distracted.
"Listen...this won't be the last time we meet," said Shadow.
"Well, how exactly can that be true if you, like...die?" Vio asked.
"I don't know. But I do know that I love you."
"I love you too..."
Vio and Shadow kissed. Shadow suddenly stood up.
"I've been darkness long enough. It's time for me to be the opposite..." he said as he began to fade away into light.
"NO!" cried Vio, tears welling up in his eyes. Red, who had managed to escape the battle, sat to the side and watched sadly.
"Good-bye, my love..." Shadow said softly with a smile before disappearing completely.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Vio yelled to the skies, falling to his knees in despair. Red came up beside him and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Oh, Vio, I'm so sorry... But he's in a better place now. Just like your hamster." Those words caused Vio to burst into tears.
"Jeez, Vio, get a grip. The hamster died three weeks ago," said Green, putting electrical tape on Blue to cover his mouth as he sat on his head.
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE HAMSTER! SHADOW'S DEAD!" sobbed Vio, his head in his hands.
"Look, Vio, you need to just get over the hamster..." Red said softly.
Vio turned to Red.
"YOU DIMWIT! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE HAMSTER!"
"Guys...look..." Green whispered, pointing to the sky. Dark clouds, black as night, began to block the sun.
"Hahahahaha... That Shadow guy was a sick-day-over-using-idiot, and Gufuu wasn't much good either..." said a deep, inhuman voice: Ganon. Red gasped and clung to Green.
Lightning bolts lit up the sky, and suddenly, the giant pig-monster himself appeared before them.
"I WILL SMITE YOU WITH MY TRIDENT! SMITE YOU ALL!" announced Ganon. He raised his mighty trident high, and black beams began to shoot at the Links, accompanied with burning black smoke.
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIEEE! DIE LIKE SHADOW! DIE LIKE VIO'S HAMSTER!" Red screamed. Vio sobbed.
"WE HAVE TO TRY TO FIGHT HIM!" Green bellowed to his comrades.
"MMMMMMMMM!" came Blue's muffled scream.
Seconds passed; seconds that felt like hours dripping with the pain of the attacks. There seemed to be no hope...but suddenly, some of the clouds parted, letting a ray of light shine through. And from that ray, down floated Princess Zelda.
"Look in the sky!" Red gasped, pointing up at the princess.
Zelda slowly began to awaken from the cursed sleep Gufuu had put her under. Sharp-witted girl she was, it did not take her long to figure out what was going on. She quickly created a ball of light and looked down at the suffering Links.
"YOU ASSHOLES! DO THAT THING WITH YOUR FOUR SWORDS!" she called loudly. Hastily, Vio, Green, Blue, and Red gathered together and lifted their swords. Then they began to use them like guns to shoot bullets of light at Ganon. A beam of light shot from Zelda's light-ball, and she joined the attack from Ganon's other side.
"THE PAIN! THE BURNING! THE LIIIIIIIGHT!" screeched Ganon before he exploded. The clouds quickly disappeared, and the ray of light containing Zelda disappeared as well, causing her to fall down toward the Links. Green caught her, and both princess and Link stared at eachother for a moment and blushed before Green set her down. Red scowled.
"Wow! We did it, Link, Link, Link, and Link!" Zelda said happily. "Guess you aren't such an asshole after all!"
"Mmmph hmmm," muttered Blue from behind the electrical tape.
"Well, now that that's all over and done with, want to have group sex?" Zelda asked.
"Hell yeah," said Green.
"Fine, bitch," sniffed Red.
"Mmmph!" Blue mumbled eagerly.
"It won't fill the hole in my heart, but ok," Vio agreed darkly.
Just then, the fairy flew over to them, dragging a case of beer along on a string.
"Awesome, I'm totally gonna join you motha-fuckazzz. After that we can all chug beer," she said. Everyone eagerly ripped off their clothes.
Red stuck his dick in Green's ass. Zelda leapt on top of Vio, and they both rolled over, squishing the fairy.
"MY EYES!" came the fairy's muffled cry.
Then Blue got Zelda from behind, if you know what I mean. Zelda moaned with pleasure as Blue got her from the back, and Vio got her from the front. Then Green (with Red attached) came over. Green got Blue from behind, and everyone humped eachother, except for the fairy, who was stuck up Vio's ass.
Zelda, Green, Red, Blue, and Vio walked to the Four Sword Shrine, each one solemnly silent.
"Well...ready?" Zelda asked when they stopped.
"But Green...I love you!" whimpered Red. Green kissed him.
"I love you too, Red... But don't worry -- we're all gonna be together. We'll just be one person again," he said.
Red wiped his teary eyes and nodded.
"Mmmm hmmmph hm," said Blue.
"Let's just get this over with so we can get on with our sorry life," snorted Vio.
"Well...see ya, guys..." Green said sadly, closing his eyes and placing the sword in its pedestal. An eerie silence fell over everything. At last, Green opened his eyes, and saw with shock that Vio, Blue, and Red were still there, staring at him with looks of confusion. Zelda looked equally dumbfounded.
Hastily, Green removed the sword from the pedestal and put it back in again. Nothing. He tried again, and again, and again, and again for hours, and nothing changed...
Link remained four...