Konnichi wa! First Fullmetal Alchemist fanfic, so no flames! O.o Too many F's…

Although, I am expecting a flame from OCEAN-CAT. I will ask Roy to get her.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (but I wish I owned Ed and Roy), and I don't even own one box of Easy Mac. I make the real stuff.

Flaming Fullmetal

"So, shrimp, how ya doin'?"

Ed tensed as he whirled around to yell at Mustang. "WHO'S THE MICROSCOPIC DUST MITE THAT'S SO SMALL IT WEIGHS NOTHING?" he screamed.

"You," Mustang answered, flipping Ed's braid over his head as he passed. Ed growled in response, fuming. Roy looked over his shoulder and smirked, not at all intimidated by the easily angered blonde. Roy strode into his office, Ed hot on his heels. They went through this routine often.

"I'm not short! Why must you pick on me?" Ed hated himself for whining.

"Because you are short." the raven-haired man replied.

"I am not! I'm fifteen! You guys are all in your twenties or thirties!" Ed killed the routine.

"And without the platform boots and your little antenna, how tall are you?"

Edward mumbled something inaudible.

"Excuse me?" Roy leaned forward.

"5'3," Edward said in a small voice.

Roy stared. "Edward," he stated, "you do realize that Hawkeye's twelve year old niece is 5'5, right?"

Yup. The routine had run away.

"Shut up," Ed groaned.

Roy twitched. He supposed he ought to let some light into his office, so he opened the blinds. He turned and watched the light play across the sun-kissed golden head. It amazed him how feminine Edward could look sometimes. To be truthful, he'd like to bend him over his desk–

"COLONEL!" Ed's shout roused him from his inappropriate thoughts with a start. Ed gave him a strange look. "Welcome back to Earth. Have a pleasant trip?"

Roy scowled. "I was thinking," he snapped. "Dismissed."

Ed shrugged and walked out of the office.

Everyone was busy that day. Even Colonel Mustang himself was running errands, and for once, he didn't slack off.

It was late at night. Finally, the number of people in the building dwindled to three, but only two were working, Mustang and Hawkeye. The one slacking of was actually Fullmetal. He was contemplating Roy's trip into space that morning. He noticed that he'd turned from the window, looking as sharp as ever. Then a dreamy look passed over his face. Ed wondered why that was. He had called his name three times to shake him from his reverie. He wondered if it had been him that the Colonel was thinking about. No, that was absurd. The Colonel was twenty-something, whereas Ed was only fifteen. Besides, he was straight; he never shut up about how he got laid last night… Wait, why did Ed care, anyway? It couldn't be because… No, it couldn't, he told himself. He glanced at the clock. He should be getting home, it was really late.

Ed grabbed his crimson overcoat, and started walking out, tugging it on as he kicked open a door to get to the main hall. He startled the only two other current occupants of the building, who were also on their way into the same corridor so they could go home.

Riza Hawkeye visibly jumped at the noise, whereas the Colonel simply looked up from locking the door they had just come through. They looked at Ed, who grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, I thought I was the only one here."

"Well, we didn't know you were here, either," Hawkeye was obviously relieved to see Ed. "We— well, I— thought you'd left."

Roy spoke up. "Well, don't look at me! It wasn't my turn to watch him!" Then as an afterthought, he added, "Hey, Fullmetal, it's pretty late. You want a ride?"

Ed's heart skipped a beat. "Uh, sure, if it's not too much trouble. D'you know where I live?"

"No, but I will if you tell me." Roy replied with a smirk.

"Makes sense," Ed laughed. His pulse sped up. He mentally smacked himself. Why was he so nervous? No. He couldn't be…

…In love with the Colonel?

He blushed. He hoped the two adults walking next to him didn't see. No such luck.

Roy held the door for Hawkeye and Ed. …Was Fullmetal blushing?

"Gee, Fullmetal, I knew there were rumors going around Central that you and Hawkeye were

going at it, but I never thought I'd see the day— well, night— you'd blush." Roy smirked again.

Ed and Riza both turned and said in unison, "What? Us? Rumors?" They glanced at one another.

"And where, pray tell, did these rumors come from, Colonel?" Riza demanded, her eyes blazing, her face burning.

Roy shrugged. "Dunno. Just some rumors. And talk that you two were a little too nice to each other."

Riza walked over and slapped Roy across the face. Ed's jaw dropped. Riza stalked off without a word and drove away. Ed glanced back at Roy. His trademark smirk was back in place.

"Never talk about a woman's lovelife. Shoulda seen that one comin'… Anyway, those rumors stopped a while ago." He started walking. "No need to worry, short stuff."

Ed growled. "Who're you callin' microscopic?"

Roy smirked. "You." He looked down at the boy to see, to his utter surprise, that the blush hadn't faded. It had deepened. Or maybe the crisp November air was getting to him. Yes. That had to be it. "Cold, Fullmetal?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, a little." It seemed he had been deep in thought. He told Roy where he lived as they got to the car, and they set off.

Neither spoke as the car pulled out of the parking lot. In fact, neither made a sound until they pulled up next to Edward's current place of residence.

"Thanks, Roy," Ed vocalized.

"No problem. See you tomorrow, Fullmetal."


Al looked up upon hearing his brother's quiet entrance. "Hi! Busy day?"

Ed nodded. "Not even mustang found a chance to slack off. Everyone worked through lunch. Speaking of meals, I'm starving! It's quarter past eleven and I still haven't had dinner. I'm gonna make some mac cheese." Ed caught himself before asking Al if he wanted any. He couldn't eat.

He stuffed some Easy Mac in the microwave. Minutes later, he was sitting on the couch with Al, shoveling macaroni into his mouth and thinking. Did Al even know his brother was gay? If so, how much did he know? Did he know about Roy? That thought scared him. If Al knew, Roy himself might know…!

He jumped as Al put his hand on his older brother's shoulder. "Brother? Are you okay? First you stop eating, then you go pale. Are you all right?"

"Huh! Oh, yeah, uh, just thinking about… someone…" Ed blushed, scarfed down the rest of his macaroni, and went into the kitchen. He cleaned off the macaroni dishes and fled to his room. Al clanked of to his own room a few minutes later.

During the next few weeks, Roy's height comments were no fewer, Ed screamed the same exaggerated insults back, his face crimson. When Roy noticed this, he simply figured he had missed it before.

Once after these few weeks were over, another busy day lay ahead. Everyone was rushing around like madmen to get things done, and a very distracted young Elric just happened to be one of them. He walked swiftly through the halls from the library so he could get his notes on the latest serial killer of Central. He thought he had successfully avoided walking into anybody, until he collided with someone, falling onto his back.

"Ow! Shit, that was my head… Sorry—" he looked to see who it was he collided with and saw Roy, getting to his feet. Words failed him. Mustang held out his hand.

"Nah, my fault, Ed. Sorry." He saw the dusting of rose on Fullmetal's face as he took Roy's hand and got to his feet.

"N-…no problem," Ed stuttered. "Thanks." He rushed off. Roy thought that was a bit strange. He contemplated it for a bit as he walked, and figured it out as he got to the library.

Later that night, the number of the building's occupants dwindled, to around ten. There was a small party going on, for no apparent reason. Said party included nine men and lots of alcohol. They made sure Hawkeye had left before any alcohol made rounds.

At midnight, Ed made his way to Roy's office, knowing there had been a party. He'd been invited, but decided not to go. Someone had to help Roy clean up, and besides, Ed had been distracted from the time by his research. By this time, there were three left at the party, Havoc, Falman, and Mustang. Falman was on his way out, and Mustang was laughing with Havoc. Havoc was drunk off his feet, his cigarette dangling from his lips, not even noticing Ed in the doorway. Mustang was obviously pretty drunk, too, considering the fact that he was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down his face.

Ed seriously considered walking away from the two men; they were starting to scare him. Mustang spotted him, wiped his eyes, and coughed a few times to try to stop laughing so he could speak. After a few minutes, he succeeded, and waved Edward over. "Fullmetal, c'mon over here."

The young Elric shrugged and did so. He stayed to listen to a few of Havoc's jokes before the smoker decided he'd better leave. Once he was out the door, Fullmetal glanced back at Roy. "We'd better get this place cleaned up."

"Good plan."

They cleaned up Roy's office so that it looked like the man hardly cleaned up, but no party had occurred— the way it always looked.

"Thanks, Fullmetal," Roy said once they were finished. "Want a ride?"

"No problem, and yes, please."

They headed off to Roy's car, the brisk December air biting at their faces. About halfway between there and the Elric residence, Roy stopped.

"Shit! I've got to start paying attention to that damn gas meter." He stopped the engine. "One in the fucking morning. What a time to run out of gas! It's okay, though," he said, gesturing to the hotel they were stopped next to, "one man that's staying here is a good friend of mine, so he can help us out. C'mon, Fullmetal."

Ed complied. They went in, and Roy asked the man at the front desk if he could let them into room 216. The man nodded, got a card key, walked up with Roy and Ed, unlocked the door, and closed it behind them. They were alone. Roy smirked as Ed's eyes widened in horror.

"No," he mumbled, "Roy, you're not… You wouldn't… I can't believe I fell for that!"

Roy grinned evilly. "I can't either."

He went into a cabinet for something and threw the boy on the bed. He pulled off the blonde's overcoat, tore off his jacket, and pulled off his black shirt over his head. This was when Ed saw the handcuffs. Roy handcuffed the boy's wrists around the bedpost.

Ed was struck dumb with terror. He heard Roy strip and simply closed his eyes. They shot open again when the brunette attacked the snap and zipper on his leather pants.

"Roy, come on, don't do this," the blonde pleaded, fear plain in his voice. "Please, don't, Roy, you're scaring me…"

"You want it. You know it, I know it. You want me." He inserted one finger into Ed's anus.

"Nnh— Yes— ah— I mean, no— hah— not like this!" Ed squirmed, and quickly regretted it.

He inserted another finger. "Too bad."

"Ah— Roy, I— hah— I loved you, but— hah— this'll ruin ev— AH!" Ed cried out as Roy scissored the two fingers. Ed, quite wisely, stopped trying to talk and clamped down on another cry.

Roy inserted another finger, thrusting, scissoring, and probing. A fourth. Ed bit his tongue, a keening noise escaping his throat.

Mustang figured the young man was ready, and so withdrew his hand. Ed sighed in relief, crying out a moment later as Roy's erection violated him. His eyes watered as Roy withdrew and thrust. Roy was in ecstasy.

Tears rolled down Ed's face as he was penetrated again and again. Roy leaned forward, snagged the boy's hair elastic in his teeth, pulled it loose, and undid his braid. The teen's golden hair cascaded over his shoulders in waves, obscuring his face from view.

Roy was, indeed, cruel and merciless, but Ed never dreamed he'd go this far. He called Edward's name as he came, spilling his seed into the boy. Ed squeezed his eyes shut, forcing more tears down his face, right before he passed out.

Roy redressed, unlocked and removed Ed's handcuffs, and put them back in the cabinet. He noted there was lube in the cabinet, but oh well. He dressed the unconscious boy with slight difficulty. He glanced about for the hair elastic, but soon gave up. He carried the unconscious form to the front desk, thanked and paid the hotel owner around Ed's small frame, and carried him to the car.

A little lie about the gas tricked a very intelligent boy. He still couldn't believe it. He drove to Ed's and carried him in. He explained to Al that his brother had fallen asleep on the way home. After all, it was a little past two in the morning. Al accepted the excuse and allowed Roy to carry the teen into his bedroom. He saluted Al, walked out, drove home, and collapsed into bed.

The next day, neither Roy nor Ed went to work. Falman joked Colonel Mustang must be catching up on his slacking off, though he knew otherwise. The Colonel was most likely hungover. The day after, he was back. Ed was not. The third day Ed was out, Roy paid a visit after work. Al was out having fun with Winry. Ed wondered how it was possible.

Mustang knocked on the door.

"Come in," Ed called from the kitchen. He was washing the dishes. Mustang walked into the kitchen, noting the redness around the blonde's wrists.

Ed froze. Those footfalls were nothing like Al's or Winry's. They were more like—

"Hey, squirt. When're you planning to come back to work?" the Colonel asked, leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen.

Ed grabbed the butcher knife from the dish drainer. "Don't come near me!" he warned, backing as far away from Roy as possible… which happened to be a corner. He cursed mentally.

Mustang stood up straight. "Fullmetal, are you feeling all right?"

"No, I am not feeling all right!" Ed replied shrilly. He felt his knees would give way any minute.

"Fullmetal, you're acting weird. What—"

"You don't remember, do you?"

Mustang looked startled. "Remember what?"

Ed burst into tears. "Of course you don't, you were drunk. But that doesn't excuse what you did!"

A look of concern passed over Roy's face. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing excuses raping a fifteen year old!" Ed sank to his knees.

Memories of that night hit Roy like a ton of bricks. He crossed the room to Ed, tore the butcher knife from his grasp, dropped to his knees, and pulled the young man into a tight embrace, his own eyes brimming with tears.

"I remember now… I'm so sorry."

Ed simply cried into Roy's shoulder. He kissed Ed's head, all the while muttering apologies into his hair. A tear slid down Roy's face and into Ed's hair.

A little while later, when they had both stopped crying, they were sitting in companionable silence, which Ed broke.

"You know… I still love you."

Roy's eyes widened. "Really? Even after…?"


Roy kissed his head again. "I love you too."

Ed looked up at him. "Does this mean you'll stop calling me short?"


"It just means we'll be having sex in your office, right?"

Roy smirked. "You got it."

Hope you liked it! R/R!