A/N: This is the final chapter to this sequel. Thank you to all my reviewers! I'm glad you enjoyed it, but um, this chapter, you see… um. I'm a bit unsatisfied with it… But I don't want to point out which parts I'm pissed with just in case you won't notice them LOL. Okay, enough. Read!

MJP: LOL. NO! I would never kill one of them off, especially not in a humour fic ahha. But thanks for the gun note. I may use that…KrystallTrensk: Awe. Thanks! lol. That was just a very nice thing to say ahha.


Slicker than her Blades
Chapter Two


The sun has set ages ago, leaving the sky in a shroud of oily blackness. The darkness contributes to the cool sensation lingering the air, calling up a breeze from all parts of the desert to slip through the city and bath it in an unfamiliar wintriness. Despite so, from underneath the horizon to the infinite point in the sky, a thin blanket of stars is spread over the heavens. The wintriness sensation eventually melts away from the warmth of the twinkling stars and leaves behind an atmosphere perfect for the celebration. But one may believe otherwise, and trace the constellations with a weary finger only to discover –

Ahh, fuck. Forget the stars. Rikku alone shuns them all.

I sigh and lean against the wall, my eyes never leaving her figure.

The beat of the drums breaks any hint of a reticent aura in the air. Lights from all corners of the festival area light up the dance floor, but they ignore all Al Bhed except her. It's as if the moving lights are fighting for the honour of framing her… perfect body in their spotlight, and follow its graceful movements…

I press a finger to my head and massage it tiredly. Now I feel really bad.

She's dancing with her forth partner since I saw her, another pretty-boy, and it looks like this one might actually continue to be with her for the rest of the night – up to the last dance and the ending fireworks.

I narrow my eyebrows.

Didn't he hear of the rumour? He must have. Every other Al Bhed guy has! So why isn't he trying something on her, like the other three she's danced with? Why won't he kiss her without her consent or grope her or something so she can stab his ass and move on to someone else… like me.

I lean against the cool wall, hidden in the shadows, away from the lights, the music, the food, the dancing, even the girls.

I don't understand why she's acting this way – why she left me dry when I tried to ask her out. Ahh, and that damn dagger. I glance down at my arm, her shirt bandage still there. It stings from that extra tightness she added near the end.

Pft, so I used her to try and get with Dyanah and Jaisce, ehh... That's no reason to get pissed. I used to do that all the time with her. Why is she suddenly all bitchy about it now?

I flinch at the sight of her partner's hand moving dangerously down her back. And just when I think she's about to yell in rage, she wraps her arm tighter around his neck instead and nuzzles her head in his shoulder.

I feel steam bursting out of my ears.

BUT that does not mean anything because I am not jealous. AND I am not one of those guys who claim they're 'not jealous' but deep down 'they really are'. Nope. This face is jealous-free. The steam can be explained otherwise; I will stop smoking.

He leans down and kisses her forehead softly.

I pound my fist into the wall – which is not an act of a jealous madman but rather a lonely, disappointed, troubled soul. Yes, I am quite sad to tell you the truth. I am a sad, tortured, beaten, helpless being.

It's just… Well, I'm just too damn good-looking to be standing here all alone. This annual festival has always been such a highlight event for me. I always get a date and we always do something… fun. But nooo… Rikku just suddenly had to carry my child. Tch.

She tightens her grip on him, probably cutting off his blood circulation. But he doesn't seem to mind. No, he's having way to much fun feeling her up.

RAWRRrrarrgg… No matter. Because I frankly don't care. Hah, yes. I don't care.

I feel myself slowly sliding down the wall pathetically and ending up on my ass. My head is hung low and my arms are drooping at my sides. I look miserable.

"Hey there, you…"

I raise a hand lazily and shoo the speaker away.

A soft giggle follows, but she doesn't leave. "Umm… Wanna dance?"

I jerk my head up in surprise. A (sort of) hot girl is asking me to dance? Tonight? After the whole baby-scene? She must've heard of it. Every other girl has heard of it, and they're all treating me like shit. "I-Uh-A-Are you sure?"

She laughs lightly. "You're cute."

Well, duh.

I should be here with a Dyanah or/and a Jaisce but instead I'm all by myself, unable to get a single date – let alone have a female look at me without glaring death.

I glance up again at the girl. Ehhermm. I turn back to stare at Rikku.

She notes my silence and bites her lip in regret. "… Nevermind. I shouldn't have asked – Sorry." She turns to leave.

Ack. Greeeat. Make me feel even more guilt. Pft. Girls... "No, come back." I stand up to face her directly. I shrug my shoulders. "I was just thinkin'." Giving her typical Dashing Smile Number 6, I reach for her hand and pull her towards me. "'Course I wanna dance with you."

She gives me a hesitant look. "You're just saying that."

I burst out with an overly done, "NnnOOooo…"

She doesn't look at me. "Whatever…" She attempts to pull away, a sad expression hung on her face.

Time for my deed of the day.

Grabbing her waist, I slam her body against mine and press my lips firmly against hers. I expertly kiss her with passion and freely run my hands over her body, making sure this would be something she'd surely remember.

I'm creating quite a scene.

But I just want to make her feel better, boost her self-esteem. It's all out of goodwill, honest. Besides, it's the annual festival. I could not live with myself knowing that I didn't make out with someone tonight. But there's only one problem…

I suddenly tear myself off of her.

… I keep thinking of Cid's Girl.

Funny enough, the moment I pulled away, I met eye to eyes with the violent lunatic herself.

Fear? Definitely.

At first she's silent and is simply looking at me in disbelief. Then, blood rushes to her face, her hands ball into fists, she takes a deep breath and –

- she breaths out calmly…?

The people around me are whispering. Having heard of the baby-scene or seeing it themselves, it would be understandable as to why they find the fact that Rikku staring down at me while I'm holding another girl in my arms is interesting.

But instead of wrestling me to the ground till she flattened all my organs and punched out my last eye, she steadily steps back to stand by her dance partner and makes a gentle gesture with her arm, "Gippal," she says in a serene tone. "Let me guess… She kissed you?"

I blink, waiting for a smart response to come to me.

She's not as patient and so turns around and leaves, her partner trailing after her.

I drop the female in my arms, ignoring the gasps of witnesses as she fell. None of it mattered to me. I just can't stand letting Rikku get away thinking she's won. "You come back here, Kid," I demand, marching after her.

She turns back, sticks her tongue out at me, and then continues forward.

She knows that annoys me. "I mean it, Cid's Girl."

Her partner suddenly places a hand defiantly to my chest to stop me, letting her escape. "Hey, you leave her alone, jerk," he orders in a 'threatening' tone.

I don't remember what I did, but I do know that a few seconds later, he was lying on the sand unconscious. Doesn't matter to me anyway; he was asking for it.

All my concentration is focused on the bouncing bushel of blond hair smugly walking away in front of me. Tired of chasing her down, I impatiently run after her and tackle her by surprise. She collapses under my weight and I end up satisfyingly on top of her.

She groans and tries to wiggle free. "Not again…!"

I put more of my weight on her body to stop her movements. "Yeah, again. What the heck is wrong with you, Kid?"

"Hah!" she shouts, as if I was supposed to already know. "What's wrong?"

"So, I kissed her," I admit angrily. "Why are you upset? Why are you always upset?"

She doesn't reply.

I frown. "You want me to kiss you or somethin'?"

She gives me a 'pshhh' look.

"Then what?" I nearly shout.

"Nothing," she mumbles.

"Don't tell me it's nothing. Don't be throwing blades and daggers at me and then tellin' me it's nothing."

She grunts trying to push me off. "FINE. You piss me off, okay?"

I deliberately lift my weight off of her and then crash down again to stop her attempts. "How? What do I do?"

"THAT!" she gasps from the impact.

"No. What is this really about?" I pause. "You really want me to kiss you, isn't it?"

"Don't flatter yourself," she argues. She turns away. "All the guys here think I'msome sort ofprostitute because of you," she whispers. "They keep trying to hit on me."

I roll my eyes. "Are you sure that's the reason why you're always angry at me?"

"Yes."

"But that just recently happened."

She's silent.

We're suddenly interrupted by an announcement that the last dance is about to begin. I stand up and hold my hand out to her.

She remains still in the sand.

I grab her hand anyway and pull her up effortlessly. "You owe me a dance."

"I don't owe you anything," she snaps.

I gesture to the wound on my arm. "Oh hell you do, ya lunatic."

She glares at me, but then hesitantly submits into my request. "Fine…" She walks past me and towards the dance floor. "Just pretend you're hot enough for me."

Whoa there.

I immediately reach out for her and pull her back. "That?" I ask in disbelief. "That's what pissed you off? Cause you think I called you ugly?" I throw my arms up in the air in disbelief. "I said you'd make a believable prostitute, didn't I?"

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" She's laughing as she speaks; out of hilarity or stifled anger I don't know.

"That.means.you're.PRETTY," I tell her, pronouncing each word with absolute clarity just in case she misinterprets it again. I throw my arms in the air and begin pointing at her all over. "You're gorgeous, you're attractive-you're cute-you're lovely-you're beautiful-you're stunning-you're PRETTY! In fact, you're SO pretty it's SCARY!" I strangle out the last word, breathless.

She stares at me with an emotionless expression. "But I'm not a Dyanah or a Jaisce."

I look up; blinking through the dizziness my previous statement caused me. "Wh-What?"

She glances around awkwardly. "I'm just… Cid's Girl."

I rub my head tiredly and lean on a table for support. "Well, of course you are. You have another father or something?"

She glares fiercely at me. "No." She returns to her uncomfortable state. "I meant… that's all you see me as."

I'm confused at her statement. I squint at her figure. "Am I supposed to be seeing something else?"

She looks ready to knock me out.

I gulp. "OH! Yes, there it is." I shake my finger at her and make an attempt at giving her a charming smile – which just comes out crooked and tense. "Yes, yes. I see it now."

She raises her eyebrow. "What do you see?"

"AHHhh." I give a nervous laugh. "Well, I only have one eye…"

She steps closer. "What do you see?"

I lean back. "I see… you."

"And?"

"I see you seeing… me."

"And?"

I stare down at her, noting our close proximity. "…I see your lips."

She tilts her head to the side, some sort of glittering in her eyes. "What about… my lips?"

"…They're always yelling at me."

She lets out a heave and whirls around, her face boiling with rage.

I grab her and pull her back. "Wait, wait! I have a better answer."

She's silent, waiting for me to speak.

"I… I see Rikku."

She tenses. "And?"

I shrug my shoulders. "And I like what I see."

She's quiet for a moment.

I roll my eyes. "What more do you want?"

And then I hear a muffled giggle. I almost think she's gone insane.

"…Kid?"

She turns to me, a tiny smirk peeking out of her mouth. She's laughing.

I take a cautious step towards her. "Are.you.OooKayy?"

She nods lightly and then stares at me momentarily before proceeding to leave once again.

"Hey," I shout. I still have questions for her. "You owe me a dance, remember?"

She turns back around, a genuine smile gleaming on her mouth. "Right…" she mumbles.

I don't understand her little game, but I take her into my arms and hold her tightly anyway. I lean my head against hers and glance around the dance floor. The music's almost over.

Her laughing hascalmed down now, and she's not protesting against my hold on her. Maybe she's got her sanity back. Now I can ask her.

"Were you mad… because of Dyanah and Jaisce?"

She pauses. "Yes," she whispers.

"Are you still mad?"

"Yes."

I rock her gently back and forth. "Would it help if I told you I couldn't stop thinking of you tonight?"

She hesitates. "If it's true."

"Partly."

I feel her frown.

"The other part I thought about shooting every guy you've danced with."

She raises her eyebrow. "You get mad at me for being with other guys?"

"Yeah." I lazily push against her forehead, tilting her head up so she would face me. "But I know you're crazy about me, so it's all good."

She bites her lip, keeping a grin from surfacing to her face. "Like I'd ever want you," she says.

"Of course you do." I rest my hand on her side. "Every time you throw your blades at me… you're telling me that you love me."

She smirks.

I run my hand through her hair. "And every time I come back, even after being hit…"

"…you're telling me that you love me," she finishes.

I shrug my shoulders modestly. "I just like you, you know."

She shakes her head stubbornly. "You're crazy about me."

I kiss her lightly against her lips. "I kinda have to be… you're having Gippal Jr."

She chuckles softly, and then stretches up to kiss me back.

"Ahem."

My eye bulges wide, and I don't dare turn around.

"You two sure make quite the couple," the voice says.

Rikku instantly backs away. "Pops!"

I back away with her, and hastily give him every dashing smile I have. "Y-Y… Hey there, S-Sir…"

He crosses his arms and stares at me intently. "So… I hear I'm going to be a grandfather."

I give a nervous chuckle. "Really? Wow. Congratulations Sir." I turn to Rikku and shake her hand politely. "You too… Miss." I grin idiotically and then whirl around to run for my dear life. Because I know the way Rikku acts when she's mad, and if my suspicions are correct, I can unquestionably assume that her father would –

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, GIPPAL!"

- yeah, that.


A/N: I'm actually enjoying writing this mini-series. I'm planning to do at least one more addition, if anyone's actually interested. However, it won't be so humour-filled. Please let me know if you find it interesting:

Title: The Slickest
Rating: T
Genre: General (and bit romance I guess)
Summary: Reluctantly, Rikku helps Gippal finish pack to leave for Crimson Squad, numbly hoping she can convince him otherwise.

Thanks for Reading. Please Review.