Kiyani can't take it any more. He's always gone. He's always putting his life in danger. He comes home, beaten, and bloody, giving her this reassuring smile, saying everything is going to be alright. Every time he leaves, Kiyani waits in fear… fear of what might happen to her beloved fox.
I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
There is pain in her heart, an aching to touch him. She knows he'll come back… but she feared the day when a mission got out of hand. A day when he would lose… and never come back.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
She loved him with all her heart. She wanted him to be happy… but if she didn't leave now… it could make things even worse.
You've build a love but that love falls apart.
She would always be worried. She would lose that sparkle in her eye that he loved. The time when they made love wouldn't be as fun and adventurous. She would become dull… nothing but an act of happiness. Before long, they would be fighting, and the relationship would end in a more painful way than it already is.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.
Kiyani cried as she opened drawers, and started putting her clothes into a briefcase. She had two black ones ready to put her belongings in. She knew this would be better for them both. She would find somebody else and she could be happy since he wouldn't be leaving on missions and risking his life. And her precious fox could move on and find someone else. But…
What if we couldn't
Listen to your heart
She sat on the bed, crying, staring at the floor. What if he needed her? What if she left when he needed her the most? What if leaving him just made the pain worse?
When he's calling for you.
'I love him... I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to leave him… but I do.' She thought, as her tears came harder. If she left… where would she go? She might have enough money to rent an apartment. She could get a job. All would be good… right?
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do.
Her tears continued to fall, but her face was set in determination. She was going to leave. She couldn't take the heartache. He was gone too much. And if he died… she'd die too.
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why,
She started packing her clothes faster, trying to push her thoughts away. She knew that the more she thought about it, the bigger chance of her changing her mind. She kept packing, her hand picked something up. She blinked then looked at it. She heart broke. It was a locket her love had given to her. It said, "Together 4ever" She collapsed on the floor.
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye.
She held the locket to her heart as she cried. 'I love him. I want him to be happy. I've fought this urge to long. If he cares then he should understand.' She told herself.
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
Everything that they've been through flew through her mind at a rapid speed. She remembered how they met. She remembered their first kiss and the first time they made love. She smiled. To tell the truth, they were in the shower. She shook her head, pushing away all thoughts.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
She wished it could have worked out. She wished she was as strong as him. If she was… then she would be able to fight with him. She could prevent his death. She could protect him, and him, her. But since she can't… it's over.
They're swept away
and nothing is what is seems
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.
Kiyani kept telling herself that she could go. She can leave. But… She wanted her fox. She couldn't live without him. She loved him. She wanted him to be happy right? Then wouldn't leaving him hurt him? She punched the wall in anger. He did see her pain right? Did he notice the change? IS HE EVEN LISTENING TO HER?
And there are
that want to be heard.
She pulled her fist back, letting the broken wall fall to the floor. She ignored the pain in her hand, and let the blood fall. Why is she getting mad? She wasn't speaking. If she never said anything then… he wouldn't now. But how would she tell him? He can't help things that he doesn't know about. He can't fix her problems… he's causing them… but she lived with those problems. Now she wants to fix them but…
So much to mention
But you can't find the words.
… she didn't want to live without him. She punched the wall again, tears of frustration falling from her eyes. She punched the wall in between every word she said, "why?" punch "Why" punch "do" punch "you" punch "do" punch "this" punch "to" punch "ME?" punch, Punch, PUNCH!
She breathed heavily, looking at the huge hole in the wall. She could fight, but she wasn't strong enough to fight with him. She cried out in frustration, and then ran to the packed suitcases on the bed.
The scent of magic
She grabbed the clothes in there and threw them out. She threw them all over, knocking things off the dresser. She picked up her shoes, and threw them into a picture of her and her red headed lover. As it shattered, she turned and threw everything else, trashing the room.
Her breathing was intense, as she stared at the wall. Then, without warning, she collapsed on the ground in tears. She continued to cry. She didn't even care that someone had opened the door. She ignored the gasp that came from the intruder. She heard quick footstep, and then warm hands picked her up and she stared into the concerned eyes of the man who caused her pain. She broke into more tears and buried her head into his shirt as he wrapped his arms around her.
"What happened, Kiyani?" He asked, his voice filled with worry.
"I… I tried to leave you Kurama… I'm tired of the pain… but… I can't… I love you too much… I hate you Kurama… I hate you for taking my heart… I hate you for giving me yours… I hate you… for making me love you."
The beauty that's
When love was wilder than the wind.
Well. I thought this was very emotional. I hope you understood it. .