Challenge #79: A Mistake
Author: Ann (snowflakesandchrystals)
Title: Questions asked and answered
Rating: (G to NC-17): G? Maybe PG
Spoilers/Warnings: None (but it's my first fanfic…J
Questions asked and answered
Stephanie looked out of the bedroom window in the small house she and Joe had occupied for the last couple of years. She wondered: had she known then what she knew now, would she still have made the same decision? Would she have said "yes" to Joe's proposal, to Joe's wishes, to Joe? Would she still have ended up here in this house, feeling the way she did: lonely, restless…… and completely bored out of her mind most of the time.
It had started innocent enough. First she moved in with him, this time giving up her apartment for good. Then slowly, after the wedding, things had changed. Joe had asked her to take cooking classes. And she had said "yes". She realized now that she had said "yes" for the wrong reason: she said "yes" because he had asked her (in stead of his previous demanding) and not because she actually wanted to learn cooking. Then he had asked her to stay Fridays at home, just so they would have more time in the weekends that didn't need to be spend on cleaning and washing and so on. Again, she had said "yes" to this request, because she liked spending time with him, not because she wanted to give up work and definitely not because she wanted to do more housework. Wrong reasons again, now that she thought about it. And then, 3 months ago, the BIG question was asked: Joe would like for them to have children. Both of them were in their thirties, and fertility didn't last forever, so now would be a perfect moment. They were settled down, they had some money, they could afford it. And again, she had said "yes". And she realized now that she had said "yes" because she agreed with his reasoning, but not because she actually wanted children. She just didn't. The reasons that Joe put forward were perfectly good reasons, IF you wanted children. But Stephanie didn't. She wanted her life back.
When was the last time that she had a crazy day, a true "Bombshell Bounty Hunter" day? A day that made her feel like she was alive, even if she didn't always like the way things seemed to literally explode around her? When was the last time she came home, trousers torn, unidentifiable stuff in her hair, but the satisfaction that another FTA was safely locked up again? Jeez, she couldn't even remember the last time that she had attracted a crazy person who would break into her apartment at night. Most bad guys seemed to have no wish to enter a cops' house… (Those guys obviously didn't know what fun was all about) And she couldn't remember the last time that she needed to call Ranger to help her out.
Ranger… He hadn't been in contact with her since she had quit working for Vinnie all together. That was 3 months ago, since they were trying to get pregnant. And before that, they had spoken and seen each other less and less. God, she missed him! She missed his lifestyle, his apartment, his shower gel, she missed everything that she knew about him. But he didn't seem to miss her. He had let the contact slip just as easily as she had.
And now she stood here, in front of the bedroom window, hugging herself in stead of being hugged by either of the men who once made her life so difficult. She had just started her period, and she had sighed in relieve. Not pregnant again. She felt extremely guilty about her relief, because Joe would be extremely disappointed. She would have to tell him tonight, when he came back from work. And she realized that she had a couple of other things to tell him as well. She needed to become Stephanie again, and not Mrs. Morelli. She loved him, but she didn't love her life or herself at the moment.
She realized her mistakes had been plentiful. She returned to her original question that started her thoughts: had she known then what she knew now, would she still have made the same decision? And now she had her answer ready.
(I'm hoping to continue this story in the future, but let me know if you feel it has potential!)