The Dating Game
by. Brown Eyed Bakas
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Yet.
OK. Maybe I'm writing again, at least for the moment, even though I said I wasn't going to be writing for a while… but still. I found an excellent way to narrowly escape the mushy scenes for InuKag, SessKagu and KouAya. xD And plus. This story is called 'The Dating Game'. What's the fun in it if they're not dating, hmm?
I'll gather Dark Lavender up from that little melted pile she's in (with her homework piled upon her) and we'll see what we can do. : ) Both of us want to start writing again. Heck, we'll probably start a new story. Don't hold your breath, though. xD
They had to call in the firemen to get everyone down. It was nice for a while – stranded with (hopefully) someone you like, in a small compartment. But soon enough, oxygen in the compartments started to run out, and it got cold, and quite frustrating.
Although an excellent story to tell, the events of last week's carnival were soon forgotten, or at least everyone ceased to talk about it.
And then Monday morning came – it never failed to – another tiring week began.
The door swung open; the bells upon the door were thrown off by the force of it opening. On top of that, the knob of the door got stuck in the wall, and the bell soared over several confused heads, and knocked Miroku out cold.
Kouga covered his head, in preparation to Ayame, who was late that morning. However, it wasn't Ayame who had belligerently killed the door, the bell and the wall.
"Good Morning, Sesshoumaru," Like the Monday mornings' habit of existing, Kagome never failed to greet everyone. Although this time, there was an unmistakable waver in her voice that wasn't usually there, even when Kagura showed up dead drunk, once upon a time.
But then again, it's not everyday that Sesshoumaru is so emotive.
"… the usual, then?" Kagome said hesitantly, the only voice in the whole room, as she grabbed a clean mug from the shelf. Soon, the only sounds were shuffling of the mug Kagome had, and the pouring of coffee.
Silence was existent for the better part of an hour; only a faint susurrus shivered through the room. There was a silent entering and leaving of guests, for the door, and the doorbell, were broken. It was mildly awkward for any regular person. Sesshoumaru, however, didn't seem affected.
Inuyasha was though; he looked at his watch twice every half-minute or so. Finally, as the minute hand showed him that 45 minutes have passed since Sesshoumaru's arrival, he cleared his throat. "Uh, Sesshoumaru?"
Several people gave him cautious looks.
"Is… I mean… something wrong?"
Sesshoumaru slapped down his mug. Several people flinched and jumped, hastily grabbing their belongings and leaving after a word of thanks to Kagome.
"Funny you should ask." Sesshoumaru's golden eyes were narrowed, his pupils nothing more than very thin slits.
"Er," Inuyasha began inching away.
Miroku stirred awake then, but he took one look at Sesshoumaru, said something about unpropitious evil auras, and fainted again.
"I think I will state my opinion to the head of office at vehicle safety and operations, to tell them to change their testing. Because clearly, many people in this city don't simply know how to drive, walk, nor bike according to the lights. In fact, I'll send a letter to the ministration of education. Perhaps they'll see to it that this is included in the basic elementary school curriculum." Sesshoumaru snarled.
It was possibly the longest sentence ever heard spoken out of Sesshoumaru's mouth.
No one said anything. Then, Kagura burst out laughing. Everyone tried shushing her frantically, but she just laughed, harder and harder, until suddenly falling onto the floor. Then, she stopped for a few moments, catching her breath, and burst into another fit of laughter.
One could have sworn there was smoke brewing from the top of Sesshoumaru's head. He snarled audibly and the mug he was gripping suddenly cracked and shattered. "Shut up," He said in a painful-sounding way, almost as if something was tearing out his throat as he said it.
"Oh, Sesshoumaru, grow up…" She clambered back onto her chair and grinned.
No one told Sesshoumaru to grow up… until now, that is.
He looked positively nonplussed.
For a few more wasted moments, the two had their own inner 'joke', while the rest sat silently, trying to figure out what they were going on about.
"So, uh…" Kouga started cautiously. "What… are we talking about?"
"Oh, you don't know?" Kagura said cheerily, despite the threatening cloud over Sesshoumaru's head. "Our angry chap here scratched his car."
"My BMW," Sesshoumaru corrected flatly. "My black BMW… and I just bought it too…"
No one said anything. And no one knows if it's out of exasperation, weariness, or just simply the fact that they're afraid that if they open their mouths, something wrong will come out. Only Kouga seemed quite concerned.
"How big is the scratch? It won't ruin the precision, will it? Oh… what an idiot! Scratching a BMW convertible like that…" Kouga scowled.
"You just got it?" Inuyasha's mouth dropped open. "How come you have so much money? Didn't you just get that super-antique firebird a few weeks ago? What about the Harley a few weeks before that? And the Porsche, if I'm not mistaken, was before that…"
"I'm a collector." Sesshoumaru said coldly.
"And some guy decided he's good enough to make a scratch on his beautiful car!" Kouga whined, his nose pressed to the window, trying to get a peek of the BMW.
Kagome scratched her head. "What's it look like? Oh, wait, a convertible BMW? Isn't that what Kagura-chan said that looked nice, on that magazine you were reading?" Kagome's eyes lit up as she realized, at last, how the car in question looked like. She tapped her chin mindlessly. "It was an expensive car… but I don't know much about cars in general."
"Ah, forget it, Sesshoumaru." Kagura waved her hand. "You can just hire some world-famous car preserver to fix it. Hey, if you're desperate for a new car, get one of those ancient bugs. Or one of the new smiling ones… or another Porsche… that'll make Kouga happy; not that I care." She sipped her drink.
Sesshoumaru scowled heavily. Kagome peered at him and wondered whether the odd mood-swing was because of the scratch on his car, or the fact that the car that was scratched was the one Kagura liked, or – better yet – perhaps he was angry at Kagura's words – 'not that I care' can be pretty harsh, especially to one who's willing to spend a few hundred thousand on a car that the significant other had said she liked…
But that's going on the theory that, indeed, Sesshoumaru liked Kagura.
But that's virtually impossible.
Kagome snorted rather loudly, causing Sesshoumaru to glare at her. She whistled innocently and hurriedly grabbed a container – not aware that it was in fact salt, not sugar, that's in there – and dumped the contents into some random, poor guy's hot chocolate.
Time passed – Miroku ended up going on dates with both Ayame and Kagome, and ended up – consecutively – in the hospital's emergency room for head injuries.
No one bothered finding out who was responsible – whether Inuyasha, for Kagome's sake; Kagura, for Ayame and Kagome's sake, or Ayame and Kagome, for their own sakes.
Naturally, he felt down as ever.
Perhaps a bit more than some would be…
Miroku sobbed, pulling out his hair, just a bit. He was sprawled across and hanging over the tiny café tables.
"Don't worry, Miroku," Inuyasha assured, as a last attempt. "Honestly. Girls love guys like you."
"No they don't," Miroku mumbled into his arm. "You can even ask Sango."
"Well, we can't." Kouga pointed out. "They're on vacation, all of the girls."
"Then that's that," Miroku sighed miserably; his crying ceased.
Inuyasha pondered. "Alright then – how about we visit Rin and Kohaku in high-school, and see the many girls that swoon over you? Remember how they did that every time a... an adult male visitor went to the school?"
"Really, you think so?" Miroku asked, raising his head up a bit, hopeful.
"Yeah, Baka-Inu," Kouga had a small frown of disbelief. "You think so?"
Inuyasha nodded furiously. "I'll be right back – preparations, you know. Miroku you stay and… make yourself presentable."
He dragged Kouga over to Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru looked up from his paper, completely not amused. "What? The lech still depressed?"
"But I know how to fix it." Inuyasha hissed.
"Clever you," Sesshoumaru said, his voice dead-pan, as he returned to his paper.
"Now, if only you'll come --"
"No." Apparently, Sesshoumaru overheard the conversation.
"Come ON, Sesshoumaru! We want to have a lively Miroku, not a dead one, like you."
"That's a real compliment. It'll sure get me considering." Sesshoumaru remarked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Kouga promises he'll never tackle your cars!"
Inuyasha elbowed him.
"I promise... never to visit your house without knocking!"
"I'll get guard dogs."
"I have my way with dogs..."
Inuyasha sighed, his eyes darkening. "You leave me no choice. If you do not come with us, I will post this --" Inuyasha slipped Sesshoumaru a picture. "On the wall with crazy glue, and paste it on the streets, and the alumni sites, and everywhere you'll go." He smirked. "I'm sure Kagura won't like it."
Sesshoumaru took one look at the picture and choked on his espresso.
Kouga leaned over desperately and tried to see the picture.
"And why is it that you want me along?" Sesshoumaru asked dryly.
"Because we need to boost Miroku's morale," Inuyasha said, with his voice almost as dry as his brother's. "And chicks dig you. It must be the hair. It's always the hair. Your god forsaken, freaking hair… like that last time, when we were going to pick up Rin for that trip to Chicago to see that dumb musical – man..."
Sesshoumaru coughed. Inuyasha stopped.
"Ooooh, I see what you're doing now," Kouga nodded.
"So, just one trip; we're going to go visit Kohaku and Rin." Inuyasha smirked.
"Right then, you leave me with no choice." Sesshoumaru sighed. "Actually," He added, almost to himself as a side note. "I've just hit the monthly goal, and all my papers are done and dealt with, and I have nothing else to do..." He slowly got up, gathered his stuff and his coat.
"Righty-O, Miroku!" Inuyasha called as he and Kouga wandered over to his seat. "We're going. Act confident, like your usual self. You know how they love that."
Miroku gave a feeble thumbs-up.
"Say, Miroku," Sesshoumaru frowned. "You usually drink decaf, don't you?"
"Here, have some of this," Sesshoumaru handed his cup over to Miroku. Miroku took a sip...
"Oh, My, God... he is so hot!"
"The haaaair... I wonder what he uses!"
"God, those eyes..."
"The whole face..."
"He's like, a god?"
"But who's those weirdos he's with?"
"Like that one with the skirt? And the crazy one?"
Miroku let out a small giggle. "They're talking about me."
"That's nice," Kouga managed to grunt out, a bit exhausted at Miroku's sudden change in personality.
"I cannot believe you drink this all day long," Inuyasha shook his head at Sesshoumaru. "You're never... high, or hyper, or crazy. Or normal, or animated, for someone's sake!"
"There are days..." Sesshoumaru trailed off, prying a high-school girl off his arms. "I cannot believe I'm in a high school. Again. I thought I had gotten rid of those moronic, still-minded ass-holes they call teachers."
"Excuse me, which room is Rin in?" Sesshoumaru asked a nearby group of teens. The girls giggled and blushed, mumbling. The guys they were with sighed in exasperation. "216"
He nodded. The four guys rounded off the corner and found 216. They opened the door.
"Rin, what the hell are you --?"
Rin and Kohaku broke apart, blushing slightly.
"Ahaha...!" Miroku laughed childishly. "They're snogging."
The unnecessary though uncanny comment was the trigger to some awful, vigorous steam-machine inside Sesshoumaru's head, as his face was tinted pink and smoke seemingly came out of his ears.
Kouga turned to Inuyasha and socked him on the arms. "Way to go, Dog-head."
A/N: OK, OK, that's that. Sorry for the Miroku thing – I was too non-inspired for a dating chapter. The Miroku think I wrote a while ago for a snippet – I just needed a place for it. ;
Sorry for all out-of-character-ness. And spelling errors – this is fresh from the press, non-edited.
And I think we're nominated for best comedy in some yahoo group. O.o Well, thanks, I guess, and I hope we… er, win.