Chapter 2: I don't have a penis

Hermione entered her apartment to find Ginny sitting at the table flipping through a magazine while semi-supervising the dishes that were washing themselves at the sink. She looked up as Hermione entered the room. Her face fell at the sight of Hermione's frown. Though her disposition was a little more cheerful than it had been after her date the week before that.

"How'd it go?" Ginny asked casually.

"Well," Hermione began as she pulled a chair out from the table and sat down. "He was sweet, funny, nice, and cute. We had a completely pleasant conversation. He had nothing stuck in his teeth and he was very delightful."

"Then why do you not look happy?" Ginny asked apprehensively.

"Because I don't have what he's looking for," Hermione sighed, staring at her roommate.

"What?" Ginny questioned. "What don't you have? You have a great job, you're pretty, you're nice, you--"

"I don't have a penis," Hermione interrupted.

"What?" Ginny exclaimed.

"Parker is gay," Hermione explained.

"You're kidding," Ginny said with a small laugh. "I'm so sorry, Hermione! Really, I didn't know or I wouldn't have--"

"Oh, I know that," Hermione said, waving her hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. Although there's no way for me and him to be involved, he is still fun to be around. We're going to be friends. I'm having lunch with him again tomorrow. But, the only thing is, I can't figure out why he agreed to go out with me in the first place."

"Well," Ginny muttered as she looked down at the table and bit her lip. Her cheeks were tinged pink. "That might have been my fault. I don't think the wording of me telling about your lunch date exactly gave him the impression it was an actual date."

Hermione stared at Ginny unblinkingly.

"Well, I didn't do it on purpose!" she said quickly, her cheeks getting redder. "I just now only realized that I just told him to have lunch with you. I didn't specify it was a blind date."

Hermione sighed. "Oh, it doesn't matter anyway considering he's not into women."

Ginny smiled. "But wait," she said. "How do you know he's gay?"

"Well," she began, "he kept checking out our waiter. At first, I just didn't even think he was doing anything but looking at the waiter. But then every time he walked away Parker stared at his ass. Then, when he brought the drinks, Parker winked at him. And after we got to talking more he came out and told me."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Ginny repeated.

"Well, now I'm back to square one," Hermione said. She got up and opened the refrigerator. She looked through it lazily. When she couldn't find anything she wanted she shut it again. There was a knock on their door. They both turned to see Harry and Ron enter.

They lived in the apartment building across the street from the one Hermione and Ginny lived in so it was easy for them to visit.

"Hi," Ginny said remaining in her seat at the table.

"Hey," Ron said taking a cookie out of the wizard's hat-shaped cookie jar and leaning against the counter.

"We were thinking about going out tonight," Harry said as he pulled one of the chairs out from the side of the table and sat down beside Ginny. "Do you two want to come? That is, if Hermione doesn't have a date set up…"

She smirked at him. "No, I don't have a date tonight," she answered.

"Great," said Ron, getting another cookie. "Where do you want to go?"

"Dancing," Ginny answered abruptly.

Ron and Harry groaned.


"Dancing?" Harry moaned.

"But that means will be required to dance…" Ron muttered.

"Yes, that is what the word dancing means, Ron," Ginny said rolling her eyes at her brother.

"Fine," Harry said after she gave him a pleading look. "We'll be here at eight to pick you up."

"Where are we going?" Ginny asked Harry.

"I guess Gina's," Harry answered.

"Okay," she said. "See you then."

Harry and Ron left the room. Hermione looked at Ginny. Ginny was eyeing her hair with a smile on her face.

"Ginny…no…" Hermione said urgently.

"Oh, come on Hermione!" she said.


"I can use a simple straightening spell so we won't have to use that hair tonic crap," Ginny insisted.

"Yeah," Hermione said. "But that 'simple' straightening spell takes forever because you have to do it practically one strand at a time!"

"Not one strand," Ginny corrected. "You just have to do a little section in one go. Come on! Please?"

"It takes so long!" Hermione argued.

"Yes," Ginny agreed. "That's why we have to get started now."

She grabbed Hermione's wrist and pulled her to their bathroom.

Hermione stared in the mirror that hung on the wall of their living room. She could hardly believe she was looking at herself and not some other person. It had taken Ginny almost three hours to get all of her wild, bushy hair completely straight and smooth. She was wearing jeans and simple black shirt but she looked very nice. She'd put on a little make-up and left her now straight hair down.

Ginny entered the room and twirled. Hermione smiled. She was wearing a short khaki skirt and a white shirt. Her hair was piled up on her head messily.

"You look great," Hermione told her.

"Thanks," Ginny said. "So do you." She looked down at her watch. "Harry and Ron should be here soon."

Hermione nodded and sat down on the couch.

It wasn't long before there was a knock on the door and Ron and Harry entered. Both of them looked very nice in casual clothes. They exited the apartment building and they all Apparated to in front of Gina's, a wizard night club. They waited in line for a few minutes. When they got to the entrance they each gave the wizard standing there six galleons and entered the club.

It was quite dark with brightly colored candles sitting on the tables as the only light. A band was on the stage in the front and they were playing a love song. The lead singer crooned with his eyes closed. It was a little crowded so they had to squeeze through the couples dancing to get to an empty table in the back.

They talked and laughed together over the music until their drinks came. When the waiter left, a skinny guy (who looked too young to even have been allowed into the club) came up to Ginny and asked her to dance.

She looked surprised and then looked pleadingly at the other three. Harry, who was sitting beside her, put his arm around her shoulders and said, "She's with me."

The skinny boy apologized and walked away disappointedly.

"Thanks," Ginny told Harry.

"No problem," he said winking at her. He glanced at Ron and then removed his arm from around Ginny.

"Do you want to dance?" Ginny asked Harry.

"Sure," he said getting up.

He took Ginny's hand and they went to the dance floor.

"I don't know if I like them dancing together," Ron yelled to Hermione.

"Oh, leave them alone!" Hermione said as she watched the couples dancing. "They're just friends. You know Ginny doesn't fancy Harry anymore."

Ron nodded reluctantly.

An attractive man with spiky brown hair approached the table. Hermione smiled at him.

"What's your name?" he yelled over the music.

"Hermione!" she yelled back.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked.

She looked over at Ron. She really didn't want to leave him alone at the table. "Is it okay?" she asked.

His ears turned red as he looked back at her. "Uh, yeah," he answered. "You don't need my permission to dance with someone."

She got up and took the guy's hand. They began to move in rhythm to the music. She smiled at him and said, "What's your name?"

"Daren!" he yelled back.

She nodded.

He's cute, she thought. He's also a very good dancer.

When the song ended Hermione clapped along with everyone else. She and Daren went back to her table.

"Is it okay if Daren joins us?" Hermione asked, motioning toward her dance partner.

Harry and Ginny nodded. Ron didn't say or do anything.

"So what do you do?" Hermione yelled over the new song that was playing.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"What's your job?" she asked, rephrasing the question.

"I don't have one," he answered.

Hermione raised her eyebrows at him. "You don't have one?" she repeated.

"Yeah," he said nodding. "I just graduated from Hogwarts last month and I haven't found what I want to do yet. I'm still living with my parents."

Hermione's eyebrows went up even farther. "So…you're eighteen then?"

Daren shook his head. "Seventeen. I won't be eighteen until then end of August."

Hermione's face fell.

A young girl with long blonde hair came up to the table. She giggled and looked at Ron. "Do you want to dance?" she asked.

Ron looked extremely surprised. "Me?" he asked looking around.

"Yes, you silly!" the girl said, giggling again. Before Ron could do anything she grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the dance floor. Ron glanced back at Harry. Harry shrugged and gave him the thumbs up with a grin.

Hermione glared at the girl. Look at that dress, she thought as she stared at the tiny blue, strapless outfit that barely came down past the girl's butt. What a slut. I hope Ron doesn't see anything in that skank.

"So, do you want to go out sometime?" Daren asked her, snapping her out of her thoughts of lighting the girl's hair on fire with her wand.

"What?" she said. "Oh. Daren, you're very nice…and cute. But…it's just that you're a little too young for me."

"What?" he asked, in a hurt voice. "I'm not too young for you! You can't be older than twenty."

She glanced at Ginny and Harry who were watching with interest. She turned back to Daren. "Well…I am," she lied.

"How old are you?"

"Thirty," she lied quickly. Thirty! she scolded herself. There's no way he's going to believe that!

"Thirty?" he questioned. It was his turn to raise his eyebrows. "Well…I don't have a problem with that…"

"And I'm married…" she said.

"Well…if you don't tell, I won't tell," he said.

What? she thought. What is wrong with this guy?

"I've got three kids," Hermione said desperately.

At this, Daren got up and left without another word.

Harry and Ginny laughed. Hermione couldn't help but laugh too.

The song ended and Ron returned looking flustered.

"Where's little miss short dress?" Ginny asked, taking a sip of her drink.

"She almost raped me on the dance floor," Ron said, running a hand through his red hair. "I told her I wanted to go sit down. She got really mad. I think she's drunk."

After that they laughed and talked for the rest of the night. When it was time to go they were walking toward the door when someone grabbed Hermione's arm. She turned around and saw a tall, dark skinned man standing behind her. He smiled and said, "I'm sorry but I've been watching you all night and you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

Hermione couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, come on!" she said jokingly. "You can do better than that."

"You're right," he said laughing. "Can you meet me at the Three Broomsticks tomorrow at five?"

She thought for a moment. Why not? she asked herself. "Sure, I'll see you then."

She turned and ran to catch up with others. They had waited on her outside. They Apparated back to where their apartment buildings were. Ron and Harry crossed the street and went home while Ginny and Hermione went up to their apartment. When they entered Hermione collapsed on the couch and closed her eyes.

"I think you should've said you'd out with Daren," Ginny said as she kicked off her shoes and plopped down into the squishy armchair.

"No…" Hermione said. "He's seventeen."

"So?" Ginny said with a grin. "There's nothing wrong with robbing the cradle!"

Hermione laughed. "Ginny, he's too young for me. It would be weird. I don't want to date someone that was in his fourth year when I was in my seventh! I could've helped tutor him or even yelled at him!"

Ginny laughed. "Well, I guess that guy that pulled you aside was better. He had a nice body. What's his name?"

"Damn it!" Hermione said. "I forgot to ask."

"How did you forget something like that?" Ginny questioned.

"I don't know," she answered. "He didn't ask mine either. I'm meeting him at the Three Broomsticks tomorrow. I have lunch with Parker tomorrow, too."

She got up and walked toward her bedroom. When she walked past the mirror she glanced at it. "Man, I wish this was permanent," she said as she ran a hand through her smooth hair. She went to her bedroom, changed her clothes, and went to sleep.

Please review! I know this chapter doesn't have much in it and it's kind of boring but it'll get better.

Those of you who like Candy Shop, don't worry. It's my main priority right now. It will be updated soon.