"Hey! Wakeup!" Said an oh so annoying voice. I replied,"Mom there's no school, it's Summer!" The annoying voice stopped, as if thinking..."Some girl is at the door asking for you!"
I jumped up immediately, and the first thing I noticed was I was wearing a really dorky green outfit! I gasped in horror wondering what the girl would think! Then I looked around and saw where I was!
"Where am I!" I yelled. A blue orb of light with wings responded in a voice that made me wish to scratch nails on a chalkboard and crumple styrofoam while beating a baby with a cat to cover up the noise,"In the Kokiri Forest of course!"
I was about to say "Where!", but for fear that it would talk again I kept my mouth shut. Instead I ran outside. I nearly fell off my house before I stopped!
"Okay...this is a dream!" I smacked myself."Ow! Dammit! Not working!" A small crowd of Kokiri gathered around my house, whispering among each other.
A small voice spoke up,"Kyle, what's wrong?" she approached me. In my crazed panic I yelled,"Stay away from me, devil-woman!"
She looked confused," I wonder if your sick like those other two?" I replied dumbly,"other two?" "Yes, two other Kokiri are acting strangely to! They are resting in the sleep-house, I"ll take you there too."
'Oh no!' I thought.'They think that I'm mentally ill! Well I'll just play along then!'
My name is Kyle, I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and I've been up day and night playing the Ocarina of Time. After I beat it, I woke up and now I'm in this mess. Oh well, now I must play along to avoid being sent to the nut-house!
"Sorry Saria, I was just panicking because I finally got a fairy!" The crowd slowly dispersed, muttering and grumbling. She smiled and exclaimed,"Oh, cool you got a fairy!"
I said, "Yah, well it wants to take me to the great Deku Tree, so I've gotta go now."
" Oh, okay...we can play in the woods later! See ya!" She walked off. I wiped the sweat off my forehead, "Phew...that was a close shave!"
Navi seemingly stared at me."What?" I said. She replied, "I never told you I was going to the Deku Tree, how'd you know!"
"I've got magic powers," I winked. After she stared at me in dumb fascination, I said,"Well, lead the way!"
"I thought you'd know the way,"she grumbled. And so Navi floated off towards the Deku Tree and I followed.
Blocking the path was the most idiotic looking Kokiri I had ever seen.He guffawed at me." Where'd you get a fairy, Kyle?" I then stated," I don't know, Mido, where'd you get those two hairy caterpillars?" He looked around nervously," Where?" he stated. "Right above your eyes you moron!"
As he idioticly tried looking above his eyes I went to walk past him."Not so fast!" he told me. So being the smart-ass I was I started walking slower." You know what I mean dork!" I stopped."No one see's the Deku Tree without a sword and a shield!"
I sighed and went into the training grounds, then I felt a rumbling and I dived out of the way, and a huge boulder rolled by me. I got up, wiped dust off my tunic, and walked around a corner and found a chest. I opened it and an annoying tune played.
DA DA DA DA! You got the Kokiri Sword!
Navi hit me and I opened my eyes and uncovered my ears. Strangely, there were two others in the chest." Don't remember that," I said.
I kept walking toward the hole I crawled through to get the sword when that accursed boulder started rolling towards me, what keeps it going anyways!
The Indiana Jones music rolled and I ran and dived through the hole."Jeez." I said wiping the sweat from my brow. Then I noticed a slight absence. My pointy green hat! I stuck my hand through the hole and grabbed my hat. Then I felt the rumbling of the boulder go by.
I walked towards Mido." Where did you get that sword!" he exclaimed. I calmly replied,"I pulled it out of a hole!" He looked at me, disgusted. I then realised what I said and blushed. He then said," Well you can't expect the Deku Tree to let you weild that sword without protection, did you?" It was my turn to look disgusted and his to blush!
"I meant get a shield..." he grumbled. Navi then shrieked in that horrible voice," Kyle, use your rupees to purchase things!" I responded,"REALLY!" Man, this adventure keeps getting worse and worse!
So I headed to the shop. With my remaining rupees I bought a Deku shield and a bottle of apple cider. I braced my self for the sure to come horrible jingle...
DA DA DA DAA! You got a Deku Sheild! To equip...blah blah blah
I uncovered my ears and was just about to enjoy my bottle of apple cider when unexpectedly...
DA DA DA DAA! You got a bottle of apple cider...blah blah blah
"DAMMIT!" I yelled angrily, the shop keeper laughed, seemingly enjoying himself. I beamed a viscious glare at him and he backed up and his fairy squeeked and hid in his cap.
After drinking the refreshing apple cider and(stupidly I later realised) throwing away the bottle, I said to Navi,"Now let's go see what the Deku Tree wants!"