Okay all, this is my first attempt at Teen Titans fiction… please be nice. As for any readers of my X-Men:Evo stuff who stumbled on here and are thinking 'what!', well, I'm sorry but I can't see the XM:E stuff getting updated any time soon. Sorry! You guys were great.
I know it's not the Christmas season but. Oh well. I do not include a disclaimer because they are stupid.
Christmas-ing With You
Prologue: Enter the Batman
Christmas-time, and the city seemed to sparkle a little more brightly this time of year. There wasn't much snow in California, but that didn't stop thin layers of ice frosting the windows of every building in a festive manner. It was the eighteenth of December, and already decorations bedecked every shop and house, including that peculiar T-shaped one out on that little island.
Robin was currently sprawled out on the sofa in the rec. room, his laptop resting on his stomach, a plate of Starfire's Christmas cookies at his elbow. (She was quite a good cook when she followed a regular Earth recipe, though how various sea creature shapes fit into the holiday theme, he couldn't say.)
Said princess was down in the gardens that surrounded the tower, ensuring her strange alien plants were prepared for the winter. Beast Boy and Cyborg were doing their Christmas shopping, and Raven was … somewhere trying to avoid anything sparkly and jolly, no doubt.
Then the big screen to Robin's right flickered on, and there was Batman, much to his surprise. He very nearly dropped his octopus.
"Hello Robin," said Batman.
"Hey… calling up to say Merry Christmas? Even you can manage once a year, I guess…"
"It didn't take you long to sass me, I see. Very good. But no. I need your assistance on a rather grim matter."
"You need my help? That's a new one."
"It is, isn't it. But there's no time for that."
Robin, much as he liked to push Bruce's buttons, had enough presence of mind to know when to get serious. "What's wrong?"
"There's this guy. I trust you'll have heard of him – Alexander Lancelyn."
"Lancelyn Corps., sure. What, worried he'll put Wayne Enterprises out of business?" Robin retorted wryly.
"Not quite. He's a business tycoon, yes, but I have reason to believe there's more to it than that."
"Mainly that everyone who's stood in his way so far has died under mysterious circumstances."
"One of those guys, I get it. What's stopped him from being put behind bars already?"
"Oh. One of those guys," Robin frowned.
"I could get him if I wanted to," Batman assured his former sidekick, almost as though trying to defend himself. "But it would be hard, and take long. And I like to enjoy Christmas."
Robin grumbled. "I'm not doing your dirty work."
Batman sighed. "Look, I've already put aside my pride to ask for your help, boy. Much as I hate to admit it, you have something I don't that could be vital to this mission."
"What's that?" Robin stared up at the screen, suddenly very curious but trying not to show it.
"Access to a beautiful young girl."
Robin blinked. "Are you trying to tell me that… you don't have access to a beautiful young girl?"
"I have access to plenty," Bruce replied, cool as a cucumber as always. "But unfortunately, not one who's cut out for superhero work. And no, Batgirl won't cut it this time. She's not his style. Plus, she's gone to Europe for the holidays. We need someone more innocent – yet more womanly. More exotic."
"Wonderwoman?" Robin said uncertainly.
"She's busy enough as it is. And no – someone younger."
"How you ever manage to solve crimes, Robin, I'll never know."
"Oh," Robin's face darkened a little. "Unless you're talking about Raven…"
"From what I've seen of Miss Raven, she wouldn't be too keen on seduction. And no, she's not his style either."
"Starfire," Robin said glumly, knowing and disliking the answer.
"She's perfect for this, I assure you. Exactly his type. Very different to other girls, high profile, beautiful, young, virginal…"
"And she'll stay that way," Robin added grumpily.
"I'm sure we all hope so," Batman said with a nod.
Damn him, thought Robin. "Won't he be discouraged by her being a superhero? If he really is a criminal?"
"I wouldn't worry about that. If I've judged right – and I have – he'll be attracted to her power. Other than that, I don't think he has enough respect for women to really believe she'll be any threat."
"He sounds like a prick," Robin consented grudgingly. "But I don't exactly like throwing my team mates in with pricks."
"Then you're in the wrong business." Robin scowled. "I expect her in Gotham as soon as possible – tomorrow morning at the latest."
Robin stared at him in disbelief. "You mean you're just going to whisk her away at Christmas?"
"Relax, Robin. You can come too."
Robin's cheeks went pink. "How do you intend to explain this to the people of Gotham?"
"Simple. The newspapers have already been alerted and have spread the word.. Dick Grayson is coming home from college for the holidays. Robin, and the illustrious Starfire, are also on their way to assist Batman in keeping control of the city during the difficult season."
There were many more questions Robin wanted to ask on just how it was all pulled off, but he knew that Batman would have everything smoothed out. He had clearly run out of decent arguments, and he had barely begun.
"What do you want us to do?" he asked, hating himself for relenting so easily. "You sending a plane?"
"Oh, I think you can get here yourselves."
"By tomorrow morning!"
"I don't think I need go to the effort of explaining to the world why you'd be picked up by one of our company's vehicles, either that or getting a non-Wayne one to you… no, no, it's much simpler if you come by way of motorcycle."
"Yeah right, like you do anything. It's all Alfred."
"And I really didn't want to burden the poor man."
Robin rolled his eyes. "At least give me a brief on this mission. What do you want us to do?"
"You? Not much. Keep out of the way. Starfire, however, will hopefully be able to court Lancelyn over a period of days, find out anything she can, and finally seduce and drug him and blow his whole operation."
"…Oh." Robin was not a big fan of this plan. But what could he say? He wasn't a very good leader if he didn't like putting one of his team members into a position that, horrible as it was, could put a bad man behind bars.
"The Christmas ball tomorrow night will be the best place to start. He'll be there. And so will Starfire."
"She hasn't consented to it, yet," Robin grumbled.
Batman narrowed his eyes, or rather, the eye slits in his cowl. "She will though, I'm sure. See you tomorrow." The screen went dead.
Okay, okay, that was a really lame chapter. Mostly dialogue and other boring-ness. The next one will be hopefully much more interesting (and fluffy!). Review responses will be found at the bottom of the page. Cheers!